


Why did you come back?

by NicoleLove



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drama & Romance, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Love, M/M, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Plot, Sex, Smut, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2019-01-11
Packaged: 2019-05-19 19:26:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 94,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14879765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NicoleLove/pseuds/NicoleLove
Summary: Clarke Griffin was sitting in the large wooden windowsill of her apartment looking out at the snow. The window was big, she could see the whole of Chicago from here, and it was beautiful. There were very little people outside, because of the cold Chicago air, but she could see families playing games and decorating Christmas trees with hot chocolate, through their windows.The images weighed hard on her heart, she wanted to suppress this lonely feeling, but his face kept creeping into her mind. She dismissed the thought immediately. You are happy here, you have a great job at the hospital, you have friends and you have Madi.





	1. Clarkes's loneliness

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic, thought I'd give it a try. Please comment to let me know what you think so that I can continue writing.

Clarke Griffin was sitting in the large wooden windowsill of her apartment looking out at the snow. The window was big, she could see the whole of Chicago from here, and it was beautiful. There were very little people outside, because of the cold Chicago air, but she could see families playing games and decorating Christmas trees with hot chocolate, through their windows.

The images weighed hard on her heart, she wanted to suppress this lonely feeling, but his face kept creeping into her mind. She dismissed the thought immediately. _You are happy here, you have a great job at the hospital, you have friends and you have Madi._

The thought of Madi, who was already sound asleep, brought a smile to her face. She seemed to be doing much better lately, she seemed content. Clarke met Madi’s mom Lexa when she first moved to Chicago. Lexa was smart, beautiful, kind and fearless. They became friends instantly, but after a while they became more than just friends. Although Madi didn’t seem to accept her at first, Clarke did everything in her power to get Madi to like her, because she knew that was the key to having a successful relationship with Lexa. Pretty soon the three of them became a family.

 It’s been a year since Lexa died in that tragic car accident, and although it was still hard to think about her, it’s becoming easier to remember her, and she has to be strong for Madi’s sake. Luckily the court granted her guardianship of Madi, because she was the closest thing that Madi had to family. Now it was just the two of them against the world. Clarke loved Madi like her own.

Then suddenly his face attacked her mind once again, she had to block it, but she just couldn’t, she needed him. Although she loved Lexa, she had never really stopped loving him, she never would, she knew that, somehow she just had to try. Without thinking, she opened her phone, scrolled down to his name to call him, but the courage failed her once again, so she opted to call Octavia, who was once one of her best friends, instead.

The phone rang, Octavia answered, surprised to hear from her. “Hey Stranger, glad to see you still remember me?”

“Hi, I was thinking about you, I miss you guys so much, how are you?”

“We’re doing great Clarke, Lincoln and I have moved in together, everybody else is still together, happy and healthy.” Clarke was hoping Octavia would say something about her brother, without her having to ask, but she didn’t.

“That’s good, it’s good to hear your voice, I know I haven’t kept in touch, I just thought it would be easier, but I really miss you guys, maybe you and Lincoln and… whoever can come visit sometime.”

Octavia paused for a second. “We’d love that Clarke!”

Clarke was relieved to hear her friend’s excitement. “Any of our friends that wants to come along, Raven, Monty, Murphy, everyone.” She knew Octavia wasn’t going to buy this, but she had to try.

“Well yeah, that would be great, maybe we can come for Christmas, it would be really awesome to see you.”

“It would, Christmas sounds perfect, I am really looking forward to it. It is so good to hear your voice. You sound happy!” Clarke was really pleased to catch up with her friend again and to see her for Christmas.

“Yes it would, well I’ll talk to you soon, I’ll find out from everyone and let you know.” Octavia explained

“Okay, great, talk to you soon then, bye”

“Bye Clarke, don’t be a stranger again, still love you!”

Clarke felt guilty for not talking to her old friends very often. She knew it would make the move to Chicago so much harder, and when she met Lexa and Madi well they became her family and she didn’t have much time between the hospital and them to really keep in touch. She was really looking forward to seeing them at Christmas. She wondered whether he would come too. She decided not to get her hopes up.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Bellamy was lying on the couch playing video games with Murphy and Miller when his phone rang. He took it out of his pocket, it was O. “Hey O, what’s up? Everything okay?”

Octavia’s voice was loud and eager. “Hey, Big Brother, you will not believe who just called me?”

He knew immediately who she was referring to and his heart started pounding: “Clarke?”

“Yup, she wants us to visit her for Christmas!”

He was dumbstruck. “She what? Who?”

Octavia interrupted him. “She wants all of us to go and visit her for Christmas, can you believe Clarke hasn’t forgotten us after all, it would be great though, we can make a road trip out of it, it would be so awesome to see her again.”

He thought about it for a second. “I can’t go, you know that, but you guys should do it, I know how much you miss her.”

She was surprised by his decline. “Why not?”

He rolled his eyes at her, even though she couldn’t see him. “Do you really think Echo would be happy about me going to visit my ex-girlfriend?”

“Echo can come too, I’m sure Clarke won’t mind, she said she wanted to see all of us, and I’m sure that includes you.” Octavia tried to reason with him.

 “O, I don’t think Echo would want to visit her either.” Some part of him wanted to see Clarke again, just to know that she was doing okay, but he had to consider his girlfriend’s feelings, he knew she wouldn’t be thrilled with the idea of neither him going to see her nor coming with him.

“Can’t you convince her, I mean it’s been over between you guys for a long time, and if you stay we won’t be together for Christmas, please, please big Brother?” she pleaded with him, knowing he could never say no to his little sister.

“Ok, I’ll see what I can do.”

She sounded pleased when she said. “Ah, yes, awesome, so you’ll tell the others too, and I’ll get started on the preparations, and…”

He had to interrupt her clear excitement. “I said I’ll talk to her, no promises.”

 He already knew she wasn’t going to take no for an answer: “Just convince her with that charm of yours, I’ll take care of the rest. No excuses, Bye, Love you!” She hung up, before he could respond. _Damn it!_ What was he going to do now?

“What was that all about?” Miller frowned.

He put his phone back in his pocket. “Clarke called O and invited all of us to Chicago for Christmas.”

Miller seemed to share O’s excitement. “Yes! Road trip to Chicago for Christmas to see Clarke, damn, I miss that girl.”

“Oh you definitely do not have to invite me twice!” Murphy added air hi-fiving Miller.

Bellamy dampened their mood. “How am I going to convince Echo, I can’t expect her to be all understanding about going to visit my ex-girlfriend?”

They seemed to be just as confused about his dilemma as Octavia had been. “It’s been over between you two for a long time, you and Echo are practically engaged, I don’t see a problem with that, Clarke was your friend, before she was your girlfriend, you guys can be friends again?” Miller responded.

Bellamy shrugged. “I guess.”

He thought about the whole situation that night lying in bed. He was so mad at Clarke for leaving, for leaving him, for leaving all of them, he loved her with every inch of his being. He had kind of blocked her from his brain, because that was the only way he could keep going on without her, it became easier when he met Echo. Now he had to see her again, what if all of those feeling came back in an instant, he immediately dismissed the idea, he loved Echo now, and Clarke is ancient history. Still his mind wondered to the first time he ever saw her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

June 2012

“Hey Big Brother” O stumbled into the kitchen, exhausted. She took two beers from the fridge and handed him one. “Mind if I invite some friends over tonight?” She asked plopping down on the couch.

He looked up from his laptop. “Sure, I’ll invite the gang, we can all hang out. How was your exams?”

“I’ll pass.” She said unenthusiastically. “I’m just glad it’s over.” He wanted some more information, but he decided not to push, as long as she got her degree, he was ok with that.

“So who are these friends, anyone I know?” He was curious.

“You may have met them. Just some girls from college, and my Taekwondo class.” Except for projects, O had never really invited fiends over, she usually just hung out with his friends. She went out with her friends from college every now and then, but he had never met them, so he was really looking forward to it. He texted Murphy, Miller, Jasper and Monty to join them, they were always in for a party. Especially Jasper, not that he needed any excuse to get high or drunk. Bellamy knew it wasn’t right, and he was actually supposed to arrest him for the growing of illegal substances, but he just kind of turned a blind eye, the guy was only having fun, no harm in that.

O went to the store to buy some drinks and snacks for the party, when she returned, she seemed in a much better mood, looking forward to hanging out with her friends. He helped her setup everything on the roof of their apartment building. Since money was tight with Octavia in college, their apartment was quite small. It had the basics, 2 bedrooms, a bathroom, a living room and a tiny kitchen with old wooden cabinets, a stove and a fridge. All of the walls were beige, the floors wooden and built in closets in the rooms, but at least it was clean and decent.  

At about 7pm everybody started showing up. As they entered, O introduced them, there were quite a few girls, whose names he couldn’t remember, but when a tall, muscled, dark skinned guy with tattoos entered, Octavia was suddenly nervous and seemed to be blushing. “Bell this is Lincoln, Lincoln, this is my brother Bellamy.”

Realization dawned on Bellamy, the guy was O’s boyfriend, he extended his arm reluctantly. “Nice to meet you.” Lincoln said.

“Likewise.” He added, but that was a lie, he wanted to grill this guy. Who was he, what did he do, what was his plans with his sister, but he gave them a moment, he would give him the talk a bit later.

A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. He opened. In the door was a short, beautiful honey blonde girl. Her hair was long, she was thin with perfect curves and huge boobs. Her features were small but almost perfect, she had a glowing pale complexion with the most incredible ice blue eyes that looked right into his soul when she said. “Hi, is this Octavia’s apartment?”

He stared at her for another moment, mesmerized, unable to comprehend her beauty. He must have looked like an idiot, nevertheless he extended his hand to greet her. “I’m Bellamy Blake, Octavia’s brother.”

She shook his hand. “I’m Clarke Griffin, Octavia’s friend.” He couldn’t wipe the smile of his face as he lead her to O, he wouldn’t forget her name, and he was sure to catch up with her later as well, not in the same way he was going to chat with Lincoln. All of sudden he wondered why O had never mentioned him.

Everyone seemed to be having a good time, his friends seemed very interested in O’s girlfriends, they were gorgeous, he couldn’t blame them. He mingled a bit, made some small talk, but when he found Lincoln alone, he utilized his chance immediately. “So you and Octavia, hey? What’s up with that?”

Lincoln seemed surprised by his bluntness. Good. “Look Bellamy, I really like Octavia. We have been on a couple of dates, and things are going really well.”

The shock must have been clear on Bellamy’s face. “A couple of dates. Funny… she’s never mentioned you.”

Lincoln wiped his forehead and sighed. “She told me you’re very protective of her, which I really admire, but I can assure you, you have nothing to worry about. She is very important to me, I wouldn’t do anything to hurt her. I would really appreciate your support, because she adores you.”

Bellamy felt suddenly proud, his little sister adored him, probably not as much as he adored her, but it still felt good to hear. “Do you go to college with her?” he asked.

“No, I am her Taekwondo class teacher. I’m a paramedic as well, I might be a bit older than her, but that doesn’t make a big difference to me, she’s not in high school anymore.”

His mind started spinning at the words. _Taekwondo Teacher. A little Older. Not a little girl? She is a little girl_. He thought, turned his back and simply said. “Anything happens to her, you and I are gonna have a problem.”

The guys started setting up the beer pong tables and he thought he might as well play to shake this bad vibe. Their apartment was a bit small for all these people so he headed to the roof for some quick air. Most of the people were heading inside to play. He saw her standing there, staring at the stars, with a drink in her hand. “Hey, you not going to play?”

She was startled, but composed quickly when she saw him. “I’m driving, I don’t think beer pong is such a good idea, since I’m not very good at it.”

“You can always stay over?”

“Are you inviting me to spend the night with you?” She asked teasingly.

“No, I meant with O, or I can sleep on the couch or something.” He corrected himself quickly.

“Oh well to bad then.” She added, teasing again.

“They’re beautiful, aren’t they?” he tried to change the subject. She frowned. “I mean the stars.”

“Oh, yes, it’s amazing.” She gazed at the stars once again, getting kind of lost in them. She seemed like she belonged up there with them. He had no idea how this girl came out of the blue and suddenly his heart was doing somersaults. Usually it was the girls that chased him, and he had never really been interested in anyone, but there was just something about her, something he couldn’t quite explain.

“So, how do you know Octavia?” He asked.

“Well, we were roommate’s freshman year.” He was almost shocked by the words, because O had told him a lot about her, now he knew he had no chance, she was way out of his league. Not that he thought he had a chance before, but the chances now went from slim to zero.

 “So you’re the princess, nice to finally put a face to the name.”

“Princess?” she questioned raising an eyebrow.

“O’s told me all about you, your father is the mayor, your mother is a doctor, you’re studying to become a doctor too, you’re smart and kind, hardworking and a fantastic friend and the list goes on, but I could never remember your name, so I just referred to you as the princess.” Bellamy explained.

His explanation made her laugh, even in the dark he could see her cheeks turn pink. “Well Octavia’s told me a lot about you too. You’re the best big brother any girl could ask for, you would do anything for her. You gave up your full scholarship to college and became a cop so you could help out your mom, you put her through college and the list goes on.” He could feel the blush on his cheeks as well and he smiled a small embarrassed smile.

The next moment there was another voice coming from the stairs. “Hey baby, there you are, sorry I’m so late, I got held up.” Of course she had a boyfriend, she could probably have any guy she wants.

“O Finn hi, this is Bellamy, Octavia’s brother, Bellamy, Finn, my boyfriend.” Finn extended his hand, but his face was intense, probably not happy with the picture in front of him.

“Nice to meet you Finn” He tried as casual as he could.

“Likewise.” Finn replied, and he quickly took Clarke in his arms, kissed her and led her down the stairs.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


	2. Madi's Stories

Clarke rushed into Madi’s room the next morning very excited. “Morning Kiddo, time for breakfast, I have a big surprise for you.”

Madi opened her eyes and groaned still half asleep. “What surprise?”

Clarke wiped Madi’s hair out of her face. “Well, remember my friends from Arkadia I’ve told you about, they’re all coming to visit for Christmas. So today we’re going to get the biggest Christmas tree we can find and decorate it and we’re going to buy everyone a present, but you have to help me pick something out for each them.”

Madi sat up straight in an instant. “Awesome! I’ve always wanted to meet them, but you’ll have to tell me some more stories, so that I can help you with their gifts.”

“Ok, most of them are in law enforcement, because they are all very brave, but let me go get my sketch book and then I can show you what they look like as well.”

 Clarke returned a minute later with her sketchbook, she turned the page to Octavia’s sketch. “This is Octavia, she has dark hair, big blue eyes and a pale tan skin, we were roommates our freshman year in College. Octavia studied law, she now works for the DA’s office just like your mom did. She’s smart and fearless and she loves a challenge. She also has a black belt in Karate and Taekwondo.” Madi’s eyes widened at the thought of her.

Then Clarke went on turning the page to Raven’s drawing. “This one is Raven, Raven has dark eyes, dark hair and an olive skin, but her features are a lot smaller and softer than Octavia’s, see.” She said pointing to Raven’s facial features. “Raven is super smart”

“Like you?” Madi asked.

“No, like way smarter than me, she is currently doing her PhD in in mechanical engineering, specializing in aeronautics.”

“Wow” Madi mumbled intrigued.

Clarke carried on telling her stories of all her friends. “Harper is blonde, with soft blue eyes, she’s also on the police force with Miller and Murphy, Miller’s boyfriend Jackson is a doctor like me. Murphy is always making a joke out of everything and he is rather selfish, but steps up when he has to. Octavia’s boyfriend Lincoln is big, tall and strong and he is a paramedic, he likes helping people and Jasper well Jasper is just so sweet, he works at a bar.”

“A Bar?” Madi asked surprised.

“You’re not allowed to judge people on what they do for a living Madi.” Clarke gave her a warning look.

Madi shrugged. “Sorry I didn’t mean it like that. So who else?”

“Then there’s Monty, Monty is Harper’s boyfriend, he is a computer engineer, also very smart and sweet, he is Asian, like you can see.” Clarke said pointing to his eyes and then turned the page to Bellamy’s picture.

“He is the same guy in the portrait in the hall.” Madi noticed.

Clarke had never told Madi about Bellamy. “Yes he is, he is somehow the leader of the group, he keeps everyone together. He is so kind, smart and beautiful, he has such a big heart.” She placed both her hands on her heart. “He is Octavia’s brother and looks a lot like her, but with a dark tan skin and dark eyes. Oh and he has these cute curly hair. Bellamy is the lead detective, and he loves it, but he actually wanted to study history. He grew up very poor so he had to help out his mom. He…”

Madi cut her off. “Do you like boys Clarke?”

Clarke looked at her inquisitively. “I like people Madi, gender doesn’t matter, why do you ask?”

“Because it seems like you really like Bellamy.” Madi grinned.

Clarke quickly changed the subject. “How about you, do you like boys or girls?”

“Oh I definitely like boys, there is this one boy in my class, Ethan, he carries my bag sometimes, and he smiles at me in class, he is really cute.” This was news to Clarke, she never realized that Madi has reached that age yet, but she was already 12.

Lexa had Madi at 18, but even as a teenage single parent Lexa worked herself through college and law school and she was still an amazing mom. She always admired Lexa for doing this. Now here she was scared of having the talk with Madi. _Oh no_ , she decided to postpone it for a little while longer. “Don’t you want to invite Ethan over some time?”

Clarke was surprised by Madi’s response. “I don’t think we’re at the meet my parent’s stage yet, he hasn’t even asked me out yet.”

“Well then he is missing out, but you should ask him out.” Clarke nudged her.

“Yeah, you think so?”

“Things have changed, woman can take control, if you like him ask him to go for ice-cream”

Madi smiled. “Ok I’m going to text him, thanks Clarke.”

Clarke returned her smile. “Sure Kiddo, come on, let’s get some breakfast so we can head to the mall.” Clarke headed to the kitchen to whip up some breakfast, Madi’s words still in her head: _It seems like you really like Bellamy._ Her mind drifted back to the night they first met.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

June 2012

Finn led her down the stairs, she went down with him, but all she wanted to do was go back up and continue her talk with Bellamy. He was the most gorgeous man she had ever laid eyes on and earlier when he shook her hand it was like a bolt of electricity jolted through her. That had never happened to her, and she had no idea what it meant. She liked Finn, they hadn’t been together long, but he was good to her. This attraction was like something she has never felt before, and she didn’t know quite what to do about it. She would never cheat on Finn, so she decided to ignore the feeling completely. The rest of the night she talked and laughed pretending to be having a good time, she could see Bellamy looking at her every now and then, and then quickly looked away, so he wouldn’t be able to see the effect he had on her. He probably had this effect on a lot of girls, so he was used to it, but she wasn’t. She left early claiming to be tired, but she just couldn’t risk running into him again. Finn wanted to leave with her, but she assured him she was fine and that he should stay and enjoy himself.

The next morning she woke up with the same feeling of longing for someone she barely knew, one of her best friends’ brother. Though through Octavia’s story’s she kind of did know him. She grabbed her phone from her nightstand. There was a text from both Octavia and Finn.

 **Octavia** : Hey C, you ok, you left kind of early last night? Want to catch a movie today?

 _I left because I have a crush on your brother_ She thought when she hit the reply button:

 **Clarke** : Yeah, I’m fine I was just a bit tired from finals, a movie sounds great, is Lincoln coming with you or just the two of us?

 

 **Finn** : Hey Baby, is everything ok, I tried calling last night, but you were probably already asleep. I missed you.

 **Clarke** : I’m perfect now thanks, just needed some sleep. Sorry for leaving you so early, will make up for it.

 

 **Octavia** : Lincoln says he’ll join us, and my brother wants to tag along to get to know him. Overprotective brother you know.

 

Clarke froze, she had to think of something to get out of this now. It was just a movie though, she could maybe do that, she could just sit on the other side of the couple, and make up some excuse to leave afterwards. She couldn’t ask Finn to join her, he would sense she’s tense and keep hammering her to talk about it.

The phone rang, it was Finn. “Morning.” she answered cheerful. “How was the rest of the party?”

“Oh it was fun, we played some beer pong and video games, but it would have been a lot more fun if you were there. So what are you up to today?” Finn asked.

 “I’m sorry for leaving you there.” She apologized. “I’m going to the movies with Octavia, but I can meet you after?” Clarke suggested hoping he would think it was a girl’s only thing.

There was a short pause before he spoke again “That is actually why I’m calling, my mom called, we’re leaving for the lake house this afternoon, I was wondering if we could go out for breakfast, I mean, I would have invited you with me, but I know you have that summer medical thing.” Clarke was relieved that he didn’t ask, she was not looking forward to meeting his parents yet.

“Oh, okay sure, just give me an hour to get ready.”

“Or I could come and join you in the shower?” he enticed, but she wasn’t impressed.

“Finn, I’m sorry, I’m… you know I’m not ready yet.”

“I know, I know, just checking.” He tried to sound fine, but the disappointment was clear in his voice.

“I’ll see you in an hour. Bye”

“Bye” she echoed feeling guilty for not being ready.

Whilst showering a thought came into her mind. She was not ready to be with Finn, but if Bellamy had actually asked her to spend the night and she wasn’t with Finn she really would have considered it. Just being close to him set something inside her on fire and though Finn was very good looking, that had never happened to her. She suddenly felt that same feeling she had last night just thinking about him and she imagined him touching her everywhere in this shower. She pushed the thought out of her mind, she had a boyfriend, a good boyfriend that really liked her.

Breakfast with Finn was lovely, and she once again realized why she liked him so much, he made her laugh, he made her comfortable, he treated her with respect. When he said goodbye, he couldn’t stop kissing her, he he didn’t want to leave her alone for the entire summer, but eventually he said goodbye. As soon as he was gone she wandered back inside the mall to find Octavia for their movie date.

She waited a while because she was early, but eventually decided to call. She took her phone out when his voice startled her. “Hey princess.” And there was that flush again, she turned around.

He touched her shoulder and she felt that same jolt of electricity. “Bellamy, hi” She tried to hide the feelings he woke inside her.

“So, we’ve decided to rather go for brunch since this is actually a thing for me and Lincoln to get to know each other.”

“Oh, uhm, I just ate” she looked down, a movie would have been fine, she could sit far away from him and concentrate on the screen, how was she going to get through lunch.

“Oh, well just have something to drink then, please, help me out here, I need some support, I’ve never met any of Octavia’s boyfriends and it seems like it’s getting serious.” He pleaded.

“Ok. But why me, you don’t even know me, how can I be your support?” She tried to get out of the situation but his response was just too reasonable to argue with.

“Because from what I’ve gathered you love O like a sister.”

When they got to the restaurant Octavia and Lincoln were waiting for them. At first it was a little uncomfortable. Bellamy interrogated Lincoln about his childhood and his work, where he lived. It was actually so cute how much he cared about his sister. Lincoln answered all his questions as careful and considerate as possible and Bellamy finally started warming up to Lincoln when he realized that Lincoln was actually a good guy who really cared about Octavia. The conversation then steered in a different direction when Bellamy started telling him stories about her growing up. Clarke was glad she went, she had an amazing time and she didn’t want to go home, she could listen to Bellamy’s stories all day. When she finally realized she didn’t have a car there, she just blurted, knowing she didn’t want to go home.

“I came here with Finn, so I don’t have my car, do you guys mind if I stay over with you tonight?” She must have sounded so stupid, she could have just asked for a ride home.

“No, not at all, you know you’re always welcome. We can make some popcorn and watch a movie” Octavia suggested.

When they got home Octavia opened a bottle of wine and poured each of them a glass. They sat down in the living room. “Clarke, I told a lot of stories about O growing up, but I bet you have a few embarrassing stories to tell about her too.” Bellamy nudged her.

Clarke laughed, knowing she had quite a few, but she couldn’t tell them. “Sorry, no can’t do, a good friend never breaks the girl code.”

Octavia gave her a thumbs up and mouthed I love you. “How about I tell some embarrassing stories about you big brother?”

“Go ahead, I have nothing to hide.” He smirked.

“Well as you all can see, we hit the jackpot with the Blake gene pool,” She gestured with her hands to her own body. “so girls use to throw themselves at Bellamy, and he didn’t mind, especially when he was a teenager. A year or two after he graduated high school, he still stayed with me and mom, I got used to waking up to strange girls on a weekend, I still think it’s disgusting, but whatever, that’s his business. One morning I woke up and this one girl was making breakfast and she even offered me some, an hour later she was still there, but he wasn’t, which was weird, because Bellamy was usually like Wam, Bam, thank you Mam. So I went to his room to find out if maybe this was some kind of relationship, when I got there he was handcuffed to the bed and couldn’t leave, I laughed so hard I cried, I eventually had to kick the girl’s ass to get the keys, weird thing though, it was his own handcuffs.” Bellamy blushed but still laughed at himself.

Eventually Bellamy went to the kitchen to make some popcorn and Octavia searched for a movie to watch, she decided on a horror. Clarke wasn’t very fond of horror movies, but she wasn’t going to be weak. Bellamy sat down next to her, and handed her a bowl of popcorn, the energy was still there every time they touched, but she had now gotten used to it. During the very scary parts she looked away. He kept asking if she was okay, which she was, mostly because he was right next to her. At one point he squeezed her hand, when it seemed like she was appalled by the scene in front of her. At that moment she realized she had to break up with Finn, not for Bellamy, because she definitely didn’t stand a chance, but because she knew that she felt more for this “stranger” next to her than she did for Finn. She wanted to be closer to him, she wanted his arms around her, she want his lips on hers, she wanted him inside her, she wanted to wake up next to him and make him breakfast, not that she could cook, but just the idea.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


	3. Bellamy's realization

Bellamy had been in a bad mood ever since O called, she was putting him in an impossible situation. Echo hadn’t come home last night which disappointed him even more. When he reached the station he sat in the car for a couple of minutes, rehearsing his speech to Echo, before he went inside. As he walked to their office, he was still nervous about how she would react to the news. O had already made the arrangements and he couldn’t back out now.

“Morning handsome.” Echo said when she looked up and spotted him.

“Morning, I missed you last night.” He tried to make her feel slightly bad.

She sighed. “Yeah, sorry I had a lot of paperwork to catch up on, it was late, and so I just went home.”

Bellamy thought about it for a second. “You know they say home is where the heart is.” He said almost teasing and observed her reaction.

“Sorry Babe, I thought about it, but I didn’t want to wake all of you and my place is so much closer.” It wasn’t the first time she hadn’t come home to him, but she hadn’t done it in quite a while, and the timing was just awful.

He didn’t like sleeping or waking up without her, so he just blurted. “Why don’t we get a place of our own?”

For a second Echo was taken aback, but it quickly turned into a smile. “That sounds great, we can start looking at places tonight, but Diyoza wants to brief us on the new case in 5.”

Diyoza stepped into the office, greeted them and explained all the details of the murder case. She was her usual serious self when she said. “Green, find me everything you can on the victim, I want to know everything about everything for the last 3 months, where she was, what she was doing there, who she was with, who she called, texted, anything, no matter how trivial it seems.”

“Yes ma’am.” Monty saluted.

Diyoza continued. “Murphy, Miller, follow up on any leads that Green comes up with, Macintyre get all the info from CSI and you’ll be backup, assemble a team. Blake, Azgeda you two go meet the girl’s family and sweep every inch of that house for any piece of evidence.”

“Copy that” Bellamy and Echo said in unison.

On the drive to the victim’s house Bellamy utilized his chance. “Echo I have to talk to you about something.”

Echo glanced at him and squeezed his thigh. “It sounds serious.”

“It is. O called last night.” He took a deep breath and ran a hand through his curls. “Remember Clarke my ex-girlfriend I told you about, well she wants all of us to visit her for Christmas in Chicago. I told O I will have to check with you first, but she has already arranged everything, you know how she can get ahead of herself sometimes. But If you’re really not ok with going then we can stay, I’m sure Diyoza would appreciate some of us in the office.”

Echo started laughing, he didn’t quite understand her reaction and was worried for a moment, but she reached over and kissed his cheek. “I’ve always wanted to meet the girl who was able to tame the wild Bellamy Blake.”

Relief washed over him, she was okay with it. He felt like an idiot for being so nervous. Of course she would be okay with it, she knew he loved her and nothing would change that. Suddenly he realized that _he_ was the problem, did _he_ really want to see Clarke again? He was still so mad at her, but since that call last night he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

June 2012

Bellamy woke up a little startled. He was use to waking up with girls in his arms, but this was different. Clarke fell asleep on his shoulder after the movie. Just having her on top of him made him very nervous. He was so hard. He tried to slip out from under her quietly, very careful not to wake her. Luckily she was a heavy sleeper, because that was quite a difficult task. He took a shower and helped himself out, the thought of Clarke made it quite easy.

After his shower he strolled into the kitchen to make breakfast, whistling softly. He sneaked a glance at Clarke, still asleep, still so beautiful. He was a detective, used to reading people, and yesterday he could tell that he had some sort of effect on her. Maybe he was reading too much into her reactions, because he wanted it to be true, that somehow this princess was attracted to him too, but he decided not to get his hopes up. She was everything and he was nothing and she still had a boyfriend.

She opened her eyes and frowned, probably unsure of her whereabouts, the noise he was making must have woken her. “Morning Princess, want some breakfast?” He greeted her.

“Wow that smells amazing, what are you making?” She asked still sleepy.

“Pancakes and bacon, come on, you have to taste this.” He boasted.

She was quiet for a second. “Just give me moment, I’ll be right there.”

A couple of minutes later she came into the kitchen and sat down at the table, he handed her a plate thinking he could get used to this. “Here you go.”

“Mmmm…” She took a bite. “This is really is good, have you never considered becoming a chef?” She asked with a half full mouth.

Bellamy laughed. “No, I really wanted to be a historian, but chef was never in the cards, I just grew up taking care of O, so I kind of had to learn how to cook.”

It was silent for a while as she ate, she seemed deep in thought, damn this girl just did something to him, why did he care what she was thinking about. “Penny for your thoughts.”

A small, shy smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. “I was just thinking how hard it must have been for you growing up, how unfair it was, after my dad died we had a butler, so I never learnt how to cook, because I was never given the opportunity.”

He smiled back at her, realizing her empathy. “Mom and O are my everything, I wouldn’t give that up for anything.” Her smile widened at his words, the compassion still clear in her eyes.

They kept looking at each other without a word until Bellamy finally blurted without thinking. “I have to work today, but do you want to get a beer after work?”

Clarke looked surprised so he quickly corrected himself. “As friends I mean”

“Yeah, I know, that would be great.” She agreed, her blue eyes still locked onto his brown ones, but their spell was quickly interrupted by O’s voice.

“This smells amazing Big Brother, you really are the best you know that.” Octavia made her appearance known.

“I do know that.” He smirked

The rest of the day felt like a drag, usually he loved his job, but today he just couldn’t wait to get through it to see Clarke. After work he quickly went home to shower and change. He texted Clarke to meet him at the Dropship where Jasper worked at 19:00. He didn’t know what to expect, but he just wanted to see her again. The way she reacted to him took the Zero chance up to slim again, but the boyfriend, Finn, was still there. From what he gathered the night of the party Finn was very much in love with Clarke, he couldn’t blame him, and he seemed like a good boyfriend. Well if he got to be her friend then he would take it.

The Dropship was vintage, but could really use a makeover. In the middle was a dancefloor and a stage, a few brown leathered booths and a Jukebox on the left. Clarke was already waiting for him at the circular shaped bar on the right. She waved at him as he made his way over to her. She looked beyond sexy in those dark skinny jeans, and he reassessed the friend theory for a moment.

 “So, how was work” Clarke asked as soon as he sat down.

“It was fine, I had training, a couple of cases to assess, nothing major. How was your day?” He asked her.

“Amazing, I watched Friends from season 1, it’s weird what they used to look like, the early nineties fashion. I only have a couple of days to myself before I start with the summer medical program, so I am going to take a real break.” Clarke explained.

Jasper came over to greet him. “Hey man, good to see you,” They fist bumped. “and who is this beauty next to you?” He gestured at Clarke.

“Jasper this is Clarke, she was O’s roommate freshman year of college.” Bellamy introduced them.

“Oh yes, the princess, nice to meet you.” Jasper extended his hand.

“No sorry, get your own nickname, I came up with it, I get to call her that.” Bellamy waved his hand at Jasper, feeling very silly the moment it registered. Clarke smiled as her cheeks flushed.

Jasper held his hands up in defeat. “Sorry, well _Clarke_ what can I get you to drink? Are you allowed to drink?”

Clarke answered excitedly. “Yes, I am legal now, I’ll just have a beer, thanks Jasper.”

Jasper nodded at Bellamy to ask whether he wanted his usual and Bellamy nodded back. “Two beers coming up.” He turned around to get their drinks.

“So will Finn be joining us?” Bellamy asked Clarke hoping she would say no, he knew it was selfish, but he wanted her all to himself.

“Uh no, he is with his parents at their lake house for the summer.” Her response was music to his ears.

“Oh, would he be okay with you hanging out with other guys?”

She looked surprised by the question. “Of course, we trust each other, and we’re just hanging out as friends.”

Bellamy nodded. The rest of the night they talked and laughed played some pool, which she was surprisingly good at for a girl. Everything was just so easy with her. He always imagined her being a bit stuck-up given her background, but she was one of the most down to earth girls he had ever met. He just did not want the night to end. When it eventually did, she hugged him goodbye, having _her_ arms around him just felt so right, then he hugged her back and walked her to her car. “Are you sure you’re ok to drive?”

“Yes, I didn’t have that much to drink, and I drank water in between.”

“Well ok, but please text me when you get home.”

“I will” she promised, got into her car and drove off.

Bellamy got in his car, turned on the ignition and just sat there for a moment. He was very use to getting attention from girls. He had never really had a girlfriend, because he had never really felt anything for any of them, but damn, this girl, she is just so amazing and stunning. The one girl he was finally interested in just wanted to be his friend, well he would be her friend, because rather that than nothing at all.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


	4. Clarke's Realisation

Present day

After breakfast Clarke and Madi went gift shopping just like she had promised. “So Kiddo, what are we going to get everyone?” Clarke asked on their way to the mall.

 “Well, I think for the girls we should get a scarf and glove set that matches their eyes and their personality. Octavia seems strong and firm so definitely black and red, Raven is smart with soft features, so maybe grey and Harper is blonde with blue eyes and she’s a cop so definitely blue.”

Clarke was surprised by Madi’s observations and conclusions. “Wow, you gathered all of that from just their pictures and stories, but I bet they’ll love it, and for the guys, what do you think?” Clarke encouraged her realizing Madi was much better at this than she was.

“Jasper works in a bar, so maybe a cool clock or ornament for the bar, you know those ones with the funny sayings on them. Lincoln is a paramedic so we can get him one of those cool multi tools that he can use on accident scenes. Monty likes computers so I bet he’ll like computer games.”

Clarke interrupted her. “Oh no, you’re going to have to find something else for Monty, because those guys already have way too many games.”

Madi seemed disappointed for a moment. “Ok, well then my only other options are aftershave or alcohol. Monty, Miller, Murphy and Bellamy are all cops right, which means they work really hard and long hours, so either should be fine. I’ve seen the men on TV like Scotch or Bourbon.”

Clarke was once again amazed by how attentive and grown up Madi had become. “I think we’ll go for the aftershave then, but I would rather get everyone the same, like the girls, you can pick out the aftershave. You seem to know exactly what would suit who.” She smiled proudly.

They went to the clothing stores and Madi picked out the perfect scarf and glove set for each of the girls. Afterwards they made their way to the cosmetics store for the guys. “Ok Clarke, Monty is small and sweet but really smart, so we have to find something that smells just like him.” Madi smelled a couple of bottles and allocated each to its owner, her logic was astonishing.

Every time she smelled one she handed it to Clarke to smell it too. When she opened one called Joop, Clarke immediately recognized the smell. “This one is for Bellamy.” Clarke said instantly. She would recognize that smell anywhere, the familiar scent of Bellamy Blake. Madi eyed her confused. “Are you sure, you don’t think it’s a little too citrusy for Bellamy?”

“Nope, that is definitely him. No doubt about it.” Madi still looked like she didn’t agree, but accepted Clarke’s choice. When they found an aftershave that suited everyone they bought some more decorations and went to pick out a Christmas tree.

“Clarke, we need a big Christmas Tree this year, because we will be a big family, will Abby and Marcus come too?” Clarke hadn’t thought about it, she was just so excited about seeing her old friends, she forgot about family.

“I will call my mom tonight and ask her. I’m sure they’d love to see you again.” Madi nodded and focused her attention back on finding a tree. She picked out the biggest tree that would fit in the car.

On the drive home Madi seemed a little distracted. “So you never told me what Ethan said when you asked him out for ice-cream?” Clarke asked her.

“Oh, yes, he said that would be cool, we’re going on Friday after school.”

“You see, I told you, you should just ask him out.” Madi smiled proudly.

When they got home they had a quick lunch and started decorating the tree. Madi put the angel on top and took a few steps back to admire her masterpiece. “Perfect. Okay time to wrap the gifts.”

They took out all the gifts they bought and started wrapping. When Clarke took out the Joop Cologne, she opened it to get another whiff without thinking. Madi interrupted her thoughts. “I’d be okay with it Clarke.” Clarke gave her a confused look. “I know you loved mom and you miss her, but you’re my mom too, and I want you to be happy. So I’d be okay with it.”

Clarke tried to act oblivious. “Okay with what?”

Madi rolled her eyes. “I might still be young, but I’m not stupid. I know you like Bellamy. The way you described him to me, the way you always look at the sketch in the hall, you didn’t know what to get anyone else, but you knew what to get him. You just smelled his cologne again because you clearly miss him more.”

Clarke sighed there was no denying it now. “I’m that obvious huh? Can you keep my secret Madz?”

“Why do you want to keep it a secret, you told me if I like Ethan I should just ask him out, why not do the same with Bellamy?”

“Because Madi, it’s much more complicated.” Madi seemed unconvinced for a moment but then just nodded and continued her wrapping. Clarke closed the bottle and placed in on the paper, her thoughts drifting back to Bellamy…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

June 2012

The next morning Clarke woke up startled by the dream she just had. She dreamt the previous night ended differently. She dreamt Bellamy walked her to her car and kissed her, so intense that she could barely breathe. She was disappointed when she woke and realized it was just a dream. She picked up her phone from the nightstand, there were 2 texts and one missed call from her mom. Her mother could wait a bit.

 **Bellamy** : Good Night Princess, I had a great time, we should do it again.

She read it two or three times just to make sure, was he flirting with her? Her heart stopped for a second. This amazing, gorgeous, courageous, big hearted Bellamy Blake was flirting with _her._ Then she read the next text.

 **Finn** : Hey baby, how are you? I haven’t heard from you. Hope you enjoyed your night out. I miss you.

Damn it Finn, what was she going to do about that. She knew she had to break up with him, but she had never broken up with someone, it would devastate him. She definitely wouldn’t be able to do it over the phone, which would just be disrespectful and mean. Which meant she had to wait until he got back. Yes, she would just be polite with him in the meantime, he would probably figure out that something is wrong, and as soon as he got back and confronted her, she would just tell him she doesn’t feel the same. This would give her the chance to get to know Bellamy better anyway. She replied to his text as politely as possible.

She started typing her reply to Bellamy, she typed and deleted and retyped it several times, trying not to sound too enthusiastic nor too uninterested.

 **Clarke** : Yes I had a great time too. Just let me know when you feel like losing at pool again. ;-)

He replied almost immediately.

 **Bellamy** : Haha, I don’t, O and Lincoln suggested another movie night on Friday, you in?

 **Clarke** : As long as it’s not another horror.

 **Bellamy** : I’ll tell them it’s your choice this time.

That was the first of many nights that Clarke and Bellamy spent together that summer. Most of the time they went out or stayed in watching movies and playing video games with the whole gang, but somehow they always ended up spending most of the time with each other. Talking to Bellamy was almost as easy as breathing. It became a routine for her to go over to the Blake’s apartment on Fridays and only went home on Sundays. During the week she had her hands full with the summer medical program, but when he had time off work, he would come over and help her study. Other nights they would text and call until early hours of the morning.

They talked about everything. His passion for history, which was not a subject that she ever really liked, but when he told her about it, she could listen for hours. They talked about their relationship with their parents, her medical career, and why she decided to become a doctor instead of an artist. Places they would love to go. Crisis’s in Africa. How he became a detective. Hell even the weather was an interesting subject with him. The only subject they avoided was Finn.

On the fourth of July they all went to the beach for the weekend. They sat on the beach that night watching the fireworks display when Bellamy got kind of serious. “You ok?” She asked him

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He said but she could tell something was bothering him, she decided not to push.

“So, what’s your biggest secret, princess?” He asked. She thought about it for a second. _I’m in love with you_ was the first thing that came to her mind. No matter how hard she tried to deny it now, she knew she was 100% in love with Bellamy Blake.

She eyed him. “You promise not to tell anyone?”

“I promise”

“Ok, brace yourself, this is going to come as a shock.” She paused for a second. She was sort of embarrassed and sort of proud, but she trusted him. “I’m a virgin.” She whispered into his ear.

Bellamy started laughing and she glowered at him. His face fell. “Oh shit, you’re serious! But what about Finn and other guys must throw themselves at you?”

“I’ve just never felt it with anyone, not that I don’t get frisky, but I can take care of that myself.” _Anyone but you_. She thought. “How about you, what’s your biggest secret?”

He answered instantly. “I’ve never been in love before.”

The word _before_ hit her, did that mean he was in love now, or did his words come out wrong? Damn if she wasn’t still with Finn, she would have kissed him right there, she wanted to so badly. She couldn’t wait until the summer was over to break up with Finn, she was going to drive up to Mt Weather and just tell him as soon as she could, it wasn’t fair to him or to her. “Neither have I.” She admitted softly. He didn’t respond, just pulled her up and led her to the water to swim, the sight and touch of him drove her crazy. She had postponed this breakup long enough. It was time.


	5. Clarke's Breakup Anticipation

Clarke was lying on her bed on Monday night after class. She had been determined to drive up to Mt Weather ever since the weekend and just be honest with Finn. She was breaking his heart, she had to do it in person, she owed him that much, but Murphy’s Law just kind of got in her way. This weekend was her mother’s birthday, and they were having this big party for her. She really wanted to go, she missed her mom, but she had to get to Mt Weather. This medical program was just keeping her so busy she didn’t have any time for anything during the week. Next weekend the whole gang was going to Becca’s Junction for a fun day with rollercoaster rides and candy floss. Maybe she should just skip that. She really wanted to ride the Ferris wheel with Bellamy and everyone would be very disappointed if she didn’t go, so that wouldn’t really be an option either. Maybe she should just call him and get it over with. _No_. She had a backbone, she had to do it in person. She was just going to have to wait 3 weeks. She picked up her phone. There was a text from Bellamy.

 **Bellamy:** Hey princess, what you up to, wanna hang out?

She smiled. She really wanted to, but she had to study, even though she was absolutely, irrevocably in love, she still wanted to become a doctor.

 **Clarke:** Sorry, it’s me and the human brain tonight, but we’ll have a drink for you.

 **Bellamy:** Oh really, so we’re not good enough for you now that you found the human brain?

 **Clarke:** Well, the human brain does have a lot of intellect, he is just so smart.

 **Bellamy:** Oh but I bet he’s not that good to look at, I mean does he give you “that feeling”? ;-P

Clarke could feel her cheeks turn to a blush. She knew exactly what he was referring to. He was the only one who gave her that feeling. Did he pick up on that? He was a detective, it was his job to read people’s body language. _Oh no_. He knew. Maybe that was a good thing. She knew he was flirting with her, but that was kind of their thing now. They flirted all the time. His flirting gave her a new sense of confidence. If only she knew what the flirting meant. Was it the fact that she was unavailable to him that made him act like that or was he really interested? Sometimes he was really sweet, but there were times that he was impossible to read. Maybe he just thought of her as a really good friend.  She wasn’t ever going to find out until she broke up with Finn, and she would have to wait another 3 weeks.

 **Clarke:** Yeah, no, definitely not my type, but the conversation is still good though. Anyway, I have to get back to him, or he’s gonna start wondering where I disappeared to. Night Bell.

 **Bellamy:** Ok, I’ll leave you to it then. Night Clarke. Sleep tight.

Clarke? When had she become Clarke? He always called her princess. If only she could read _his_ brain. Or his heart. She had never been this pathetic. Being in love changes you in weird ways.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

That weekend she drove to her mother’s house, excited to see her, but not looking forward to going to this thing alone. When she got there some people were busy decorating and setting up for the party. Her mother not among them, so she went upstairs. “Mom! Where are you?”

“In here honey!” Her mother’s voice came from her room. 

“Hi mom, Happy Birthday, wow, you look beautiful!” Clarke hugged her.

“Oh, thank you honey, so do you. Oh I’ve missed you so much.” Abby hugged her even tighter.

“So are you excited for the party?” Clarke asked her.

“Oh you know, politicians and trophy wives, but at least some of the family will be here, and you’re here. Did Finn come with you?”

“No, Finn’s with his family for the summer and” Clarke paused, almost letting it slip.

“And what honey did you break up?”

Clarke thought about it for a second, she hadn’t been able to tell anyone what she was going through, not Raven or Octavia, because they knew both Bellamy and Finn, but she could tell her mom. “No, we didn’t, but I’m in love with somebody else.  I have to break up with Finn, but he is a good 5 hour drive from here, and I can’t do it over the phone, I have to tell him in person, and I don’t even know if Bellamy likes me in that way, but I get the feeling that he does, but I can’t be sure and I hate doing this to Finn, and everything is just such a big mess.” Clarke blurted everything at once. She felt relieved getting all of it off her chest and a tear fell down her cheek.

Abby wiped her cheek and enveloped Clarke in her arms again. “Oh honey, I’m so sorry, I can’t say I’m surprised though, I didn’t really see your affection towards him. He was clearly gaga over you, but sometimes it’s for the best to just be honest, even if it breaks his heart, and I think it’s very honorable of you to do it in person. So who is this other person?” Abby winked.

“Bellamy Blake, Octavia’s brother. Mom he’s amazing. He’s gorgeous and he has this big heart, and he’s so brave, he’s a detective with Arcadia PD. Sometimes he looks at me like nothing else exists, and then there’s times he’s completely closed off.” She sighed. “But mom, when I’m with him, everything makes sense.”

Abby smiled. “Well, I think I’m in love with him now.” Which sent both of them into a fit of laughter.

The party was just like her mom described it, very uptight. Her aunts and cousins all asked her about her studies and her plans for the future and if there was anyone special in her life, too which she just responded with “Not right now.” Which was the truth in a way, because Bellamy wasn’t hers and Finn wasn’t her someone special. The food was amazing though, Marcus pulled out all the stops. She eventually got bored and went upstairs to lie down for a while. She opened her phone hoping to see a text from Bellamy, but there was only one from Finn.

 **Finn:** Hey stranger, how was your mom’s party? I really miss you. I was hoping you could come visit sometime soon?

Clarke bit her lip, it had become very difficult to lie to Finn, he knew something was wrong, and she felt extremely guilty. She was such a horrible person, and she had to wait another 2 weeks before she could drive up there and tell him the truth.

 **Clarke:** Hey, mom’s party was very nice, Marcus outdid himself once again, and everything was beautiful. The whole gang is going to Becca’s Junction next weekend, but I’ll visit the weekend after that, if that’s ok?

 **Finn:** Aaahh I wish I could go with you guys, wish I could kiss you on the Ferris wheel and hold you on the ghost ride. Anyway I hope you enjoy it. Can’t wait to see you. I’ll send a driver to fetch you, I don’t want you to drive al this way by yourself.

 **Clarke:** No you don’t have to, I’ll be fine driving by myself, I’ll stop in every town for a break.

 **Finn:** No arguments Clarke, I’m sending a driver.

 _Oh great._ That meant she couldn’t leave when she wanted to. _A Skype breakup is starting to sound like a really good option right about now_. Clark thought. No, she would just have to suck it up, she owed him that much.


	6. I can't be your friend

July 2012

Bellamy came home late Saturday night, he was very stressed out, they had had a very difficult and life-threatening case today. He threw his backpack on the bed and took a shower. He started thinking about Clarke, he just could not get this damn girl out of his mind, he had been trying to ignore her ever since her cold shoulder text on Monday night. The thought of her drove him crazy, he had to jerk off. It was relatively easy getting off with even his own hand imagining her in the shower with him. He imagined her hands and her lips all over him, which sent him right over the edge.

When he got out of the shower, he made a decision. This girl was never going to be his, he couldn’t continue this friend zone torture, when he saw her he was going to be friendly, but no more flirting, she was playing with him, enjoying the attention while her boyfriend was on holiday. Well he couldn’t be that guy anymore. There were a million other girls out there that would kill for the attention he’d been giving her, and she teased him to the point of no return. She’d been doing the same to Finn apparently, because she had told him that she hadn’t slept with him, because she wasn’t not in love with him.

He thought Clarke was down to earth and empathetic, she was just so sweet and cute and mature, but she wasn’t. She’s a princess and she knew it. Men probably fell at her feet and she played with them. He thought about it for a second. Maybe this was payback for all the hearts he had broken in his life, but at least he was honest with the girl’s right from the start, they all knew where they stood with him. Clarke kept sending him mixed signals and his heart just couldn’t take it anymore. He was going out right now, if he fell in love with Clarke, he could fall in love with somebody else as well. He picked up his phone to text everyone to join him at the Dropship. There were 3 texts from Clarke, of course there was.

 **Clarke:** My mom’s party is getting really boring, wish you were here, we could have turned it into a real party.

 **Clarke:** Bell, are you ignoring me?

 **Clarke:** ??????

She wasn’t going to make this easy was she?

 **Bellamy:** Sorry had a busy day. Heading out now. Sleep tight.

When he got to the Dropship, he was in a mood to let loose, he had to get his mind off of the case and Clarke. When he got to the bar he greeted Jasper and ordered a bourbon on the rocks.

“You starting with the hard stuff tonight?” Jasper asked.

 “I don’t need any permission.” He hissed.

“Does this have anything to do with a certain blonde girl?”

“If I wanted a shrink I would have gone to one, just keep them coming.” He didn’t mean for it to come out quite as condescending as it did. “Sorry, I’m just in a bad mood.” He apologized.

“I’ll take that as a yes then.” Jasper added and turned to serve the other customers.

“So what did the blonde girl do?” A voice next to him asked. He looked up. The voice belonged to a small, brown curly haired girl, she was plain, but she had a certain tenderness to her.

“I don’t see any blonde girls, but there sure is a beautiful brunette at the bar.” He answered smiling.

“Charming, is she your girlfriend?” The girl tilted her head in the direction of the door.

He wasn’t sure who she was referring to. “Who?”

“The blonde by the door staring at you.”

He turned around instantly. There she was indeed. Why? “No.” He turned back to face the girl.

“Ex?” she asked.

“She’s just a friend.” Definitely just a friend.

 The girl leaned a little closer. “Ok, does all your _friends_ look at you like that?”

“I don’t even know what she’s doing here.” He came here to escape her, but she just had to show up and spoil his plan.

 “She’s obviously looking for you, and she’s not happy seeing you with another girl.” The girl teased.

“She can go to hell, I don’t care.” He turned his attention back to the girl, hoping Clarke would get the message.

 “Well, your _friend_ is coming over here.” The girl warned him.

 _Oh no,_ he thought, he really didn’t have the energy to deal with her right now.

“Bellamy” her voice sounded like she’d been crying.

“Hi, I thought you were at your mom’s party?” He said as casually as possible.

“Yeah, you said you were heading out, I thought I might find you here, can we talk?” Her voice full of sadness, something had to be wrong so he led her outside. He couldn’t help but worry when she sounded so gloomy.

“Did something happen?” He asked her, really getting worried. “Well yes, sort of… I broke up with Finn.” She bit her lip.

Bellamy wasn’t expecting this, actually it was the last thing he was expecting. “I’m sorry princess, you ok, you want a drink?” He asked, unsure how to react.

“Yes, actually I do, but this can’t wait. I um… I”

She wasn’t making sense. “You what? What’s wrong?”

And then. Out of the blue she kissed him, he leaned into it, it was the most passionate kiss he had ever felt, it was tender and sweet, it drove him insane, but then he quickly pulled away realizing what she was doing.

“No Clarke we can’t do this.” He said sharply, even though he really wanted to, he wasn’t going to play her game.

Her face fell. “I’m sorry, I thought… I thought… I must have thought wrong.” Her words were soft and apologetic, but he wasn’t falling for it.

“Yes Clarke you thought wrong, you can’t come in here with your sexy little dress, telling me you broke up with your boyfriend and kissing me. I’m not some shiny new toy you can pick up to play with when you’re bored with the old one, life doesn’t work that way. You’ve been stringing both of us along for weeks now and the moment I decide I’m done playing your little game, then you’re suddenly interested. Well you can go to hell.” He spat.

“No Bellamy you don’t understand that’s not what I was doing.” A tear escaped her eye.

He looked away, he didn’t want to see her crying knowing he caused it. “Then what were you doing? Please, enlighten me.” He sneered slightly, wondering what kind of explanation she would have for playing with their heart strings.

“Your text earlier, actually this whole week you’ve been distant. And I…” She was struggling to get the words out.

“You realized I wasn’t interested anymore?” He said a bit too harsh once again.

She looked away obviously trying to hide either her tears or embarrassment. “Is it because of the girl you were with at the bar?” Her words an almost-whisper.

He stared at her for a moment, he wanted to wipe the tears from her face, but instead decided he had had enough, he wordlessly turned to walk away, not allowing her manipulate him like this.

“Bellamy! Bellamy Please!” She yelled after him, but he didn’t turn around, he just kept walking. “I’m in love with you!” She finally said, almost pleading.

He stopped suddenly, unsure of what to do next. “I’m not leaving until you tell me that you don’t feel the same, my mom taught me to fight for what I want in life, and what I want is you. So unless I was just a game to you or a fling, I am not giving up. I need to hear the words, I need you to tell me that you don’t love me back.”

He walked back over to her. “You realize you’re making a scene?” was all that came out, he was at a loss for words. _Why?_ If she was telling the truth, why had she not broken up with Finn sooner, why hadn’t she told him this sooner? There were so many questions going through his mind. She didn’t answer him, she was waiting for him to respond, only he couldn’t tell her that, because despite the fact that he was so mad at her and so frustrated, he was still head over heels in love with her.

“I’m sorry, I can’t” he finally said.

She nodded, accepting his answer. “Because of the girl at the bar? I’m sorry, I should have known, how could I have been so stupid? I just thought, I mean you were… we were… I just misread the signals. I’m sorry to have bothered you.” Her voice was soft when she spoke, tears still running down her cheek.

He took her into his arms, wiped her tears away and whispered into her ear. “I can’t tell you that I don’t love you back.” And then he kissed her, slowly, gently, reassuring her she haf not misread any signals.

She started giggling. “What’s so funny?” Had his kiss really just make her laugh, not exactly the reaction he was going for.

“I can’t believe I just did that, I would never do something like that, I was just so desperate not to lose you.” She said leaning into him.

“Well I’m glad you did, but princess, why here, why tonight, actually I have a million questions, I mean if it were up to me I would have kissed you up on that roof the night we met.”

She took his hand and led him back inside “Come on, let’s go get that drink, I’ll tell you everything.”

They got two beers from the bar, all the booths were full, so they settled at a small cocktail table. Clarke didn’t hesitate, she fell right into her explanation. “I wasn’t stringing you along, Bellamy, I’ve wanted to break up with Finn since the day he left.” She took a sip of her beer. “I knew I felt something for you that night too, but I didn’t know you. When you touched me I felt it, when you looked at me I felt it, only I didn’t know what it meant. Then I got to know you and I fell in love with you, and things were so complicated. I really wanted to end things with Finn, I just wanted to tell him everything in person. I felt like I owed him that for breaking his heart, but he was so far away. I’m too busy during the week and every weekend there was just something going on that I couldn’t miss. I made plans with him to visit in two weeks’ time, but then I got your text, and I realized you were so closed off, just like you had been this whole week, and I just, I couldn’t lose you.” She just poured out all the words she seemed to have been keeping bottled up for so long.

Bellamy suddenly felt so guilty about all the things he thought and said, when the only thing she was guilty of was trying to be considerate of Finn’s feelings. “Oh Princess, I’m so sorry, all those things I said, I just jumped to conclusions, I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you just tell me, if I knew I would have driven you there myself?” He apologized.

She snorted. “Yeah, that would have gone well, I’m sure. I’m sorry, I wanted to tell you, many times. I was just scared. Scared of opening my heart to you. I didn’t know how you felt about me. You’re like Bellamy Blake the heartthrob, who can have any girl he wants and who has never had a serious relationship, I just didn’t know why I would be any different? Sometimes you made me feel like the most special person in the world, but I thought maybe we were just really good friends. And other times you were so quiet and closed off, which confused me even more.” Her cheeks turned slightly pink.

Bellamy couldn’t blame her. Hell, he probably had one of the worst track records when it came to girls, it would be natural for Clarke to assume that she was just another one of them. He had been so wrong about this, about her, she wasn’t playing anyone, only overwhelmed and scared of her own feelings.

“I was scared too.” He admitted closing his eyes. “That’s why I shut you out sometimes. I’ve never felt this way about anyone, and sometimes you gave me hope that you felt the same, but I didn’t understand why you were still with Finn. So I assumed you were playing both of us. I should have just asked you instead of assuming things that were clearly very, very wrong.”

Clarke looked down at the table and slumped her shoulders. “I left him a voicemail. I tried calling him, but he didn’t answer, so I broke up with him in a voicemail, what kind of horrible person does that?”

“The kind that doesn’t cheat.” Bellamy tried to console her. He leaned over the table and kissed her forehead. “You wanna get out of here?” She nodded, linked their hands and let him towards the door.


	7. I can't help what I feel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I haven't updated this, I have been super busy.
> 
> I hope I will be able to update regularly from now on.
> 
> This picks up exactly where chapter 6 left off, so we are still n the past.

July 2012

They left the bar and got into Bellamy’s Car. Clarke checked her phone, there were seven missed Calls from Finn. “I have 7 missed calls from Finn, what should I do?”

“Just call him back, be honest with him and apologize. That’s the only thing you can do.”  Bellamy reasoned.

Clarke nodded and dialed Finn’s number. He answered almost instantly. “Clarke?”

She had no words. Her heart was beating frantically. She was embarrassed and terrified all at the same time.

“Finn, I’m so sorry, I know that’s not good enough, but I have no other words for what I have done, it was selfish and unforgivable, and I’m so, so sorry.”

“Clarke, you have nothing to be sorry for. I did something way worse.” He was quiet for a moment. “I slept with someone else. I should be the one apologizing. At least you were honest, even if it was in a voicemail.  I just missed you so much, and we haven’t exactly you know, and I was horny as hell. I met her the first week we got here, we got on so well, one thing led to another, and we slept together. I was going to tell you when you came to visit me but I suppose it’s too late for that now. Clarke I am really, really sorry.”

Clarke was shocked, not angry, not mad, not infuriated, nothing she should be feeling, maybe even glad, in some inexplicable way, just shocked, because she had not expected this.

“Clarke, say something, please? You still there?” Finn asked when she did not respond.

“Yeah, I’m here, I just don’t know what to say to that. When?” That’s all she wanted to know.

“It started a couple of weeks ago. I know Clarke. It was so wrong, so, so wrong of me, even if you felt the way you did, you still thought of me, respected me, trusted me, and I broke that trust, Clarke I’m honestly so sorry. There are no words that can make up for that.” Clarke could tell that he felt terrible about what he had done, but she wasn’t going to forgive him, not yet, if he had been honest with her, none of this would have happened. She was probably to blame here herself, but she sure as hell did not cheat on him and lied to him about it.

“It’s fine Finn, we’ll talk later. Goodbye.”

He said goodbye and she hung up.

“What was that all about?” Bellamy glanced at her for a second.

“He cheated on me, can you believe that? I mean I’m not at all innocent here, hell you and I flirted and spent most of our time together, and I was probably a little cold towards him, but I was always considerate of him, and he fucking cheated on me for weeks.” Clarke’s fury was now starting to build.

“Why’d you date him, princess? I mean clearly you didn’t feel anything for the guy, which might have led to him cheating, so why did you date him in the first place?” Bellamy frowned slightly. Clarke relaxed again realizing the truth in his words, she wasn’t fair towards Finn either.

“I don’t know, it just made sense I guess. He made me laugh, we got along very well, my parents liked him, he’s attractive and smart, and I thought I could learn to love him. That’s until I met you. I didn’t have to learn to love you, I just kind of did in some weird inexplicable way.” Clarke tried to explain it as well as she could.

“That makes sense. Sort of, I guess. So you love me, huh?” Bellamy’s tone was a little mocking. “Do you remember what you told me at the beach?” He had a grin on his face.

Clarke realized what he was getting at instantly. “Yes, Bellamy, I do, and I do get that feeling when I’m with you, and yes we are definitely going to sleep together, just, please, I have never done it, be gentle.”

Bellamy smiled a sheepish smile, eyes still on the road, he had clearly thought about it. “Not exactly what I meant, we really don’t have to, I’m glad to just have you with me. But if we were to do it, I would have been gentle even if it wasn’t your first time, because you’re my princess.” His hand found hers and he kissed the back of it.

Those words made her heart, and her everything flush, _his princess._ “Your princess? We are so getting it on tonight.”

“Clarke we haven’t even talked about this, about us, about anything. I don’t want you to wake up tomorrow and regret it. I want to take things slow, see how it goes, maybe take you out on a real date. You know the way thing normally work in relationships.”

Well saying that rejection was a disappointment would be an understatement, she had been waiting 21 years to feel this way, now it was right in front of her and he didn’t want to. She didn’t quite understand his hesitation, she felt the passion and the want in his kiss earlier. “I think you are an amazing man Bellamy Blake. I want _you_ , I want you in my life, I want to be with you, I want to be there for you, and I want to make love to you tonight and every night after that. Is that not what you want?”

He raised an eyebrow and went silent for a while, which made Clarke panic. She had just blatantly declared what she felt for this man and he didn’t say anything. For a second she felt so embarrassed and considered asking him to take her home when he finally spoke.

“Relax princess, I was just considering the depth of your words.” He must have picked up on her panic. “Clarke, I’m not used to this, the only women in my life I have ever really cared about are my mother and O. This is new to me. I’ve never felt what I feel, I love you Clarke. It feels so amazing just having you here with me, knowing you feel the same, I just don’t want to screw anything up. I want this too, I want us.”

Clarke beamed as Bellamy pulled the car into the apartment block. She leaned over, kissed him on the cheek and whispered in his ear. “You wanna know what will screw this up? If you don’t take advantage of me right now.”

Bellamy simpered, parked the car, and went around to open her door for her. “Bellamy Blake at your service your highness.” He said taking her hand and bowing down. Clarke tittered and let him lead her to his apartment.

They were barely inside his apartment when she started kissing him again, hungry and desperate. She had never wanted anyone or anything like she wanted him right in that moment. They staggered to his bedroom, lips never unlocking.

Bellamy finally pulled away when Clarke started fidgeting with the buttons on his shirt. “Clarke, really we don’t have to do this, we can just make out and watch a movie, talk a little bit, we have all the time in the world, I’ve got you now, I’m not letting you go.”

Clarke exhaled distinctively, he’s constant denial getting on her nerves. “Don’t you want me? Are you afraid I’ll be bad at sex because I’m a virgin? I just don’t understand, I thought we both agreed this is what we wanted in the car?”

“No, of course I want you, you have no idea how bad, and you won’t be bad at sex Clarke. I just want you to be 100% sure this is what you want.” He shook his head faintly. “You’ve never done this, and although I’m sure you’re feeling everything I’m feeling right now, I just want you to be sure. I don’t want to wake up tomorrow morning with you not in my arms, because you’ve made a mistake.”

Clarke brought his chin down to her eye level. “I’ve never been more sure of anything.”

The ends of his mouth curled into a smile and his lips found hers again. Then he slowly, gently kissed down her neck and pulled her closer to him. He smelled so good, she meant it, she wanted him so bad. She started unbuttoning his shirt once again but he stopped her, turned her around and unzipped her dress, still planting kisses down her neck. She climbed out of her dress. When she turned around to face him, his eyes went completely black, eyeing her almost naked body. “You’re so beautiful.”

He gently pushed her over and down onto his bed. He nodded at her once again giving her the last chance to change her mind. She nodded back. He started kissing down her body, he slipped one hand behind her back and unclasped her bra. Clarke was not surprised by how easy he was able to do that, given all his experience. He squeezed her left breast lightly and started rubbing her nipple until it was hard, putting his mouth over the other nipple and sucking on it. This sent a major tremor through Clarke’s body. She couldn’t help but moan a little. Bellamy did the same with the other breast and kissed her further down her naked form, sucking and licking at her navel. Clarke felt like she was on fire, she couldn’t take the teasing any more. “Bellamy, please?”

Bellamy didn’t say anything but she felt his mouth turn into a grin. He removed her panties and just stared at her for another moment before kissing her folds softly and licking it up and down. She shivered at the feeling.

“You ok?” He checked up on her.

“I won’t be if you don’t get a move on.”

Bellamy chuckled. “Patience Princess, I just want you to enjoy it. Clarke, have you done this before?”

“Nope, I told you I’ve never felt it, I’ve never really wanted to, I’ve always wanted it to be special. Call me old fashioned or a hopeless romantic, but I’ve been waiting for you forever.”

Bellamy nodded, he seemed a little nervous, which was so cute, she was sure he had done this a million times, but she managed to make him nervous. He started nibbling on the inside of her thighs, slowly working his way down to her opening and pushed his tongue inside her. The next moment his mouth found her clit, licking and sucking, which sent lightning bolts through every inch of her. He slid one finger inside of her, his lips still on her clit. Clarke had never felt this good in her entire life and she was sure she was very close to climax, he then added another finger and that was all it took for her to reach her peak. It felt like a fireworks display inside of her and she had no control over her body. Bellamy kept fingering her throughout her orgasm and only came to lie beside her when he was sure it was over.

“Fuck.” Was all she could say.

“You enjoyed that, princess?” He asked brushing his fingers lightly over her body. She turned to lie half on top of him and kissed him again, she could taste herself on his lips, it was strange, but not so bad.

“I did, very much, did you?” She asked him when she pulled away.

“I did, very much.” He echoed.

She started unbuttoning his shirt for the third time, but this time he didn’t stop her. She kissed his chest and his ribs and his stomach, where his six pack was evident. _He is so hot._ She liked the feel of his muscular body below hers, she had felt and seen him before but not like this, this was so intimate.

She started unbuckling his belt, and unzipped his jeans, where his erection was aching to be freed. He pulled her back up to him planted a sloppy kiss on her lips before taking off his own jeans and boxers. He came to lie down next to her again, resting on his one arm and just stared at her for a few seconds. “This is going to hurt a little, no matter how slow or gentle I am, but bear with me, I’ll help you through it. You’re going to have to talk to me, tell me if it hurts and what’s good. Can you do that princess?”

Clarke smiled a shy smile. “I trust you.”

He leaned over to his nightstand, took out a condom and slipped it on. He was now on top of her, kissing her all over. Clarke was feeling very anxious, but she really did trust him. “You ready princess?” He asked, lining himself up with her.

 “I love you.” Was her response, which she knew would give both of them the courage they needed.

“I love you too.” He said before entering her with just the tip, very slowly. Clarke felt a sharp pang and she gasped. It hurt, but it felt good at the same time if that was even possible. He pulled out again and she felt suddenly empty. He repeated the action a couple of times, pushing a little further every time, but just as slow as the first time, until he was sure she was used to it.

“You okay?” He asked concerned at a lack of response from her.

“Yes, very good.” She assured him. Bellamy half smiled and continued his actions.

When he was sure she was okay, he started thrusting into her, deeper and harder. The sensation she felt was overwhelming, not just because of the sex, but also the connection, the closeness. She had her hands in his curls and his name escaped her mouth in whispered gasps as she came closer and closer to climax again. Her eyes were closed, but when she opened them he was smiling down at her. She returned his smile. His thumb found her clit and started rubbing furiously. This time her orgasm wasn’t as intense and it didn’t last as long, but it was still amazing. Her walls clenching around him sent him right into ecstasy with her. He lay down on his back beside her as soon as he discarded of the condom, completely breathless.

  _I lost my virginity to Bellamy Blake, the sweetest, most handsome love of my live._ Clarke thought to herself and she had never been happier in her entire life. She felt silly and childish but she was so in love she didn’t even care. She turned her head to peek at him, hoping that he felt the same. “Was that okay for you?” She asked realizing her inexperience.

He turned his head to look at her, confusion on his face. “Are you kidding me? That was amazing, did you not feel that, I mean, the intimacy, the electricity? I felt that when I shook your hand the night I met you, but this, Clarke, I have no words.”

“Oh… I felt it, does sex not usually feel like that?”

“Oh no baby, it’s always good, but it has never felt like that, but then again, I’ve never made love to anyone before.”

Clarke felt her cheeks flush. “Yeah, and you made love to me?” Obviously she knew the answer, but she wanted to hear him say it.

He leaned down to kiss her quickly. “Off course I made love to you. Clarke… I don’t understand why, I’ve been wrecking my brain trying to figure it out, there was this instant connection I had with you the moment I met you, aside from the fact that you were the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, something switched on inside of me. It’s like I fought wars with you in a previous lifetime or something. It’s like a need you to keep breathing. You poured your heart out earlier, I think it’s only fair I do the same.”

Clarke’s heart flipped a few times. “Don’t worry, I felt it too, I feel it more and more every day, that’s why I couldn’t let you slip away, why I broke up with Finn in a voicemail, why I declared my love for you outside a bar, why I wanted to make love to you tonight. So… does this mean we’re dating?”

“Is that what you want Princess?”

“That depends. Are we going to do this every night?” Clarke grinned mischievously.

“I was thinking three times a day, but hey, I could work with every night.” Bellamy joked.

“In that case, yes, it’s what I want.” It really was all she wanted, to officially be Bellamy Blake’s girlfriend.

“Well, what my princess wants, my princess gets… Come here.” He reached out with his arm to pull her closer and hugged her tightly. “Sleep princess.”

“Wait, before we agree on this, there’s something you should know. I’m moving to Boston at the end of the summer if I pass all my subjects.” She should have told him this before, but she was a little scared of how he would react, now she was feeling confident it wouldn’t really bother him in the slightest.

“Are you going to Harvard? But you’re a junior?” Bellamy frowned.

“Technically yes, but academically I’m a senior, if I complete all my summer school subjects, which I’m sure I will, I’ll receive my biology degree and then I can start med school in the fall.”

“Clarke that’s amazing, you’re amazing. Why didn’t you tell me this before? I don’t understand why you would choose to love me, how did I get so lucky? It doesn’t matter to me, Boston’s not that far away.”

“You got that backwards, I’m the lucky one. To be honest, I was scared if I told you, you wouldn’t be interested anymore, but you’re right, it’s not that far. We can make it work.”

Clarke snuggled into Bellamy’s side and closed her eyes. “Night Bell, Love you.”

“Night Princess, love you too.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When Bellamy woke the next morning he had to pinch himself to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. He was so wrong about Clarke last night. She was lying next to him in bed and she loved him. _How did I get so lucky?_ All he knew was that Clarke deserved the world and he was going to give that to her. He got up, pulled on a pair of boxers and went to cook breakfast. The pancakes were almost done when he felt her arms around him. He turned around to look at her, she was wearing only his shirt from last night and she looked so damn hot in it. She was smiling that smile that melted his heart.

“Morning Princess.” He enveloped her in a tight hug and planted a kiss on her hair.

“Mmm, good morning, any regrets about last night?” She asked.

“About which part exactly, no regrets about the sex, that was amazing, I’m starting to rethink the whole exclusive thing though, I mean you are moving to Boston and I have needs the whole week, not only on weekends, so I might regret that part a little.” He just couldn’t resist teasing her.

She punched him in the arm playfully. “I’m serious Bell?”

“No Princess, none whatsoever, you are mine now and I’m never letting you go.” He assured her. This girl that had him in a tizz since the moment he laid eyes on her was finally his, there was no way he was letting her slip through his fingers.

“Good. Because you might have a hard time getting rid of me if you try.”

He bent down to her level, gave her peck on the lips when Octavia’s voice startled him. “What the hell is going on here?”

“Octavia.” Clarke looked up embarrassed and quickly shied away from him.

“O, I thought you were staying at Lincoln’s?” He asked, surprise to see her. This was really uncomfortable, he wanted to sit her down and tell her how he felt about Clarke, now she would probably suspect the worse

“Lincoln got called into work, don’t avoid the question Bell.” Octavia crossed her arms in front of her.

“O, this is not what you think. I… can… I can explain.” He stuttered a bit.

“Well it looks like you slept with one of my best friends, which you have always known are off limits and Clarke you have always told me you are waiting to be in love to take that step and what about Finn? Both of you better have a damn good explanation for this.” Octavia chided.

“I love her.”

“We broke up.”

They answered in unison.

Octavia eyed them suspiciously. She looked from Bellamy to Clarke, eyes narrowed, obviously waiting for one of them to elaborate, when neither did she decided to take charge of the conversation. “You love her? You don’t even know her. Do you even know the meaning of the word Bellamy?”

“I do now O, I know this is strange, but I do know her, since the night we met, I have been unable to stay away from her, even though she had a boyfriend, I felt drawn to her, we spent a lot of time together, called and texted each other all the time, I really do love her Octavia. We were going to tell you today, I didn’t want you to find out like this.” He tried to somehow apologize and explain.

Octavia looked down at her feet, apparently taking in all the information Bellamy had just dropped on her. “Clarke, why didn’t you say anything?”

“I didn’t think there was anything to say, and I was embarrassed. I had a boyfriend, and I was spending all my free time with your brother. I didn’t know he felt the same until last night. Nothing happened until last night. Before that we were just two friends hanging out, but I was still ashamed and the guilt ate at me, because I wanted it to be more. I’m sorry Octavia, I never meant to hurt or betray you, but I can’t help the way I feel about him, I love him, I never felt that way about Finn, no matter how hard I tried.” Clarke looked to him with a small grin.

Octavia nodded, she seemed to accept her answer, a smile started forming at the end of her mouth, she looked up at the both of them. “You two better get married then, because I’m not willing to lose either of you.” She rushed forward and pulled them in for a group hug. “I want to know everything, well not everything, you can leave out the gross stuff, just tell me how my two favorite people in the world fell in love with each other?”

Bellamy smiled, Octavia wasn’t mad, she was happy for them. He had the woman he loved, and his sister approved, never had he felt this kind of bliss before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think of this chapter? Too much fluff? Please let me know.


	8. Pack up and go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry once again for the late update. I just don't get any time to write and edit.

Present day

It was the Friday before Christmas break, Madi was on her ice-cream date with Ethan. Clarke was picking up a few last things before everyone would arrive for Christmas when her phone rang, she rummaged through her bag to find her phone. When she found it _his_ name flitted on the screen, her heart skipped a beat, she hadn’t seen that name on her phone in years. “Bellamy, hi?”

“Clarke, how are you?” His tone was very formal.

“I’m great, I’m looking forward to seeing all of you. How are you?” She just couldn’t hide the excitement.

“Yeah, about that, I’m afraid I have some bad news.”

All her hopes, not that she had any was crushed, she could hear the disappointment in his voice, he wasn’t coming. “What bad news?”

“Diyoza and I weren’t able to arrange a stand in team, with it being a difficult time of the year. Only two of us will be able to go. I’m sorry Clarke. I told Monty and Harper they should go, seeing as they were closest to you.”

Clarke considered it for a moment, _he_ was definitely closest to her, but she ignored it. She really didn’t want to see just them, she wanted to see all of them. If Murphy couldn’t come, then Raven might not come either since Raven had told her they started seeing each other a while after she left.

“No, its fine, then we’ll come to you then. I’ll talk to Madi, but I’m sure she’ll be fine with going to Arkadia. She really is looking forward to meeting all of you. We can stay with my mom and Marcus. I was hoping to give you all a tour of Chicago, but we’ll do it next time.”

“Oh, well sure, ok. O and Lincoln have more than enough space though, I’m sure she’d love it if you stay with her. She has been over the moon about this trip, she misses you Clarke.”

Clarke felt so guilty, it’s not like she hadn’t spoken to Octavia at all, but as the time went on, the communication became less and less, she really missed her too, all of them.

“Yeah I know, I can’t wait to see you guys either. I’ll speak to her. I promise.”

“Ok, so then I guess we’ll see you Christmas Eve. Bye Clarke.”

“Bye Bellamy, thank you for calling and letting me know.” She ended the call, put her phone away and hurried to find Madi, because shopping wasn’t necessary anymore.

When she got to the ice-cream shop Madi was sitting on her own. “Where’s Ethan?” Clarke asked her as she slid into the seat next to Madi.

“He left, turns out his just as much of a jerk as other guys.” Clarke didn’t even know the boy and she wanted to punch him in the face for upsetting her little girl.

“Why what happened?” She tilted Madi’s chin up to face her.

“He told me that he likes me, but I can’t be his girlfriend because I’m not part of their group, so we can hang out outside of school, but not at school. I mean can you believe it? So I told him to leave and that I never wanted to see his stupid face again.”

“I’m so sorry, but good for you Madz! Always remember what your mom told you, no person is worth your tears and the one who is, won’t make you cry. Listen I have some news, Bellamy called.”

Madi’s eyes widened and her frown was quickly turned upside down.

“They weren’t able to assemble a replacement team for their unit, so they won’t be able to come here for Christmas, but I thought, if it’s ok with you, maybe we can go visit them in Arkadia?”

She slumped her shoulders. “Aaaah, that sucks. I was really looking forward to having them here, but I guess its fine.” She was quiet for a second rolling her spoon around in her melted ice cream. “Clarke,” she looked up. “why don’t we just move there?”

“What is in that ice cream Madz?” That was completely out of the blue.

“I’m serious Clarke, what’s keeping us here?”

Clarke really wasn’t that idea had come from, but she had to get it out of her mind. “You want to pack up and leave just because one boy in your class is a complete idiot?”

“No, off course not. I mean yeah, it sucks, I really liked Ethan, but this is not about him. Clarke I’m not stupid, I’ve seen how sad you are lately. Mom’s gone and she’s not coming back and everything about this place just remind us of her. You’re a doctor and I’m sure they have hospitals and schools in Arkadia, but the best of all they have your friends and family and Bellamy.”

Madi’s sudden epiphany startled Clarke, she considered it for moment, Madi did have a point, but she was still a child, she didn’t quite understand the consequences. “We can’t just pack up and move to another state Madi. What about your school and your friends? What about Charlotte, Indra and Gaia? The apartment and the hospital? I understand your reasoning and I get it, it’s not like I haven’t considered it before, but it’s not that simple kiddo.”

“Why not Clarke? You’re making it a lot more complicated than it is. I can Skype with Charlotte, Indra and Gaia and I can make new friends. Call the hospital in Arkadia find out if they have any jobs. Call the school and find out whether I will be able to transfer. Call Abby and ask if we can stay with them until we can find a place of our own, I’m sure she would love to have you back. Put the apartment on the market. Clarke you’ve packed up and left Arkadia for Chicago, where you knew no-one before, why not do it again?”

The girl had way better reasoning than a twelve year old should have.

“That was different Madz, I didn’t have any responsibilities and I had an amazing opportunity I just couldn’t turn down.” Clarke bit her lip, she had never told Madi the story of how she left, but she wasn’t going to get into that part now. Madi’s argument was becoming more and more logical, she was struggling to find any reasons to object. She was content in Chicago and Madi seemed to be doing better, but maybe it was just a mask, maybe the move would do her some good, maybe this might just be the best thing for them. She did miss her friends and family so much, having them close again might really start healing the hole in her heart. “Okay, you’re right. Are you sure about this kiddo, if we do this there is no turning back. You have to be more than 100% sure, before I do anything.”

“Yes, I am. I really am Clarke. Ethan was actually just a distraction from the grief. Now that the distraction is gone, mom is everywhere again. I don’t want to forget her, but seeing her everywhere all the time just hurts so much.” Clarke wiped the single tear from Madi’s face with her thumb.

“Don’t worry baby girl, I know exactly what you mean, it’s ok to miss her and ok to cry. I miss her too, very much. Moving to another city is just going be another distraction for a while, until it becomes familiar, then the distraction is gone. The hurt _will_ settle again. Running away is not always the answer. Trust me, I know.” Clarke tried to console and reason with her at the same time.

“You’re right, I guess, but at least then we’ll be with friends and family. Do you really think they’ll like me?” Madi’s face was serious like that information would make up her mind for certain.

“They will love you, no doubt in my mind.” Clarke was very certain.

“Then I’m 101% sure it’s the right thing to do. They are your family, so I’m hoping they’ll be mine too.”

“Ok kiddo, I can’t make any promises, but I will try my best, I’ll contact the hospital and the school and get some info.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

That night Clarke sat in bed and checked for available surgeon positions at both hospitals in Arkadia. She updated her resume and compiled an application e-mail to the Human Resources correspondent available on the website.

To: [awoods@arkadiagen.com](mailto:awoods@arkadiagen.com)

From: [cgriffin@webmail.com](mailto:cgriffin@webmail.com)

Subject: Surgical Position Application

Dear Ms. Woods

I would like to enquire whether you have any positions available for surgical residents at the moment. The reason for my enquiry stems from our decision to relocate back to Arkadia from Chicago.

I acquired a Degree in Biology from Arkadia University (with honors) in 2012 afterwards I completed my Doctorate degree in Medicine at Harvard Medical School (with nonors) in 2016 I was part of the Final Year Harvard/Chicago Medical Surgical Program.

I am currently completing my surgical residency at Chicago Medical Centre.

Kindly find hereto attached my full resume for your perusal.

I would like to thank you for taking the time to consider my enquiry and application.

Feel free to contact me at any time should you require any further information.

Kind Regards

Clarke Griffin

She sent the e-mail to St Mary’s Memorial as well. She knew it was a longshot, but at least now she could tell Madi she had tried. She closed her laptop, put it away and grabbed her phone from her nightstand to call Octavia just like she had promised Bellamy. Octavia picked up on the second ring.

“Clarke Griffin, you are not cancelling our plans, I will still come to Chicago and murder you in your sleep and get away with it, because I am the best lawyer ever.” Octavia said smug.

Clarke laughed, Octavia had always been a force to reckon with. “I take it Bellamy has not yet informed you of our change of plans?”

“Oh no, he called me the moment he hung up, I’ve told everyone you cancelled our road trip. Give you one guess who was the most bummed out. Anyway, yes I have the guestroom ready for you and Madi. I have organized the food and the entertainment because yes I am that awesome.” Octavia rumbled all in one breathe.

Clarke rolled her eyes at her friend even though she couldn’t see it. “You seem even more terrifying than before. One my guess is Jasper and two Madi and I will be leaving at first light. We are all packed and ready to go. So I guess I will see you in a couple of hours.”

“You sure will, can’t wait Griffin. Be safe on the road, send me an update every hour on the hour. Night Clarke.”

“Night Octavia, Sleep Tight.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next morning Madi was out of her skin with excitement. She was up before dawn and came to jump on Clarke’s bed like a toddler. “Come on Clarke, Get up, it’s time to go!!”

“Just five more minutes.” Clarke groaned still half asleep.

“Clarke please, I’ve already made you coffee and I’ve got everything ready at the door to take to the car.” Madi pleaded.

“Fine, fine I’m up, I wish you were old enough to drive, so I could take a nap in the car.” Clarke slowly sat up.

The girls drank their coffee, made themselves decent, packed the car and were on their way half an hour later. Excitement was filling every inch of the car. They listened to some alternative rock and pop songs on the radio and sang along eagerly until they were out of breath.

“Tell me some more about everyone, please Clarke?” Madi asked after they had been driving for about an hour.

“Sure kiddo, what do you want to know?”

“Who was your favorite and why and everyone’s best and worst character trait.”

“Ok, I don’t have favorites, but obviously Octavia and Raven were my best friends. Octavia is strong, but very stubborn. Raven will solve any problem you may have, but she struggles with trusting people. Harper is very empathetic but sometimes she undermines herself.”

Madi was hanging onto her every word. “Lincoln is just so good and pure that sometimes he might be too good and pure, which makes him perfect for Octavia, she needs him and vice versa. Monty is as determined as they come, but he can sometimes be a _little_ unrealistic. Miller, well he has a comfort without words, but sometimes the little words can make you uncomfortable.”

“I think Octavia is my favorite.” Madi smiled.

“I haven’t even told you about everyone?”

“Ok yeah, go on.” She motioned with her hands.

Clarke was the whole exercise of reminiscing about her favorite people. “Jackson is very level headed and logical but just like Miller it can sometimes be a little awkward. Jasper is a total softie, he sees people, that’s why his bar is so successful, people love him, but he has a certain self-loathing issue sometimes. Then there is Murphy, well Murphy is good at getting out of any tight spot, but he can be rather selfish. And of course, Bellamy is the most loyal person you will ever meet, but he too his way too stubborn and impulsive.”

“I still think Octavia’s my favorite.” Madi declared.

“Yeah, Octavia is amazing.” Clarke said simply because it’s true.

“Bellamy is your favorite.”

“Maybe he used to be.” Clarke agreed somewhat.

“Why not anymore?”

“Things change Madz.”

“That’s not an answer Clarke, _what_ changed?”

“Fine Madi if I tell you the story, will you promise to leave the Bellamy subject alone, and never say anything about it ever again?” Clarke bargained with her.

“Sure, I won’t say anything to you about him anymore, but he’ll know Clarke. Can’t do anything about that.” Madi winked at her.

Clarke grimaced and started her story. “We met the summer after my junior slash senior year in College, I never believed in love at first sight, until I met him.  It was almost like a fairy tale, we fell in love, and started dating and almost everything was perfect. Almost. We were both very stubborn and strong willed, and we used to argue and debate a lot, but that also meant we made up a lot.”

“Grosse Clarke!” Madi interrupted her.

“Not what I meant kiddo, which reminds me there is a certain other conversation you and I need to have.” Clarke said stern, since Madi was now starting to show interest in boys she would have to give her the talk.

“Mom already had the talk with me Clarke. And we learn everything in school.” Madi crossed her arms in front of her.

“Nope sorry still having it, you’re older now, and what I have to say the school can’t teach you.”

“Fine, continue with the story.”

“Yes ok. In the beginning everything was perfect and we couldn’t get enough of each other. We loved each other so much. Then I moved to Boston to go to Med School and we were sort of long distance, but we made it work. We weren’t that far away so we tried to see each other as often as possible. We were happy, really very happy…” She started her story.

“Well what did you argue about then?” Madi frowned.

“Things aren’t always moonshine and roses in a relationship kiddo. I used to be a little bit of a spoiled princess and he could sometimes be a little bit of a self-righteous jerk and we would call each other out on it, but those were little things.” She sighed. “I guess the distance got to us sometimes. We missed each other a lot and we would argue just because we couldn’t find time to see each other as often as we liked. Bellamy was very handsome, and girls used to be all over him and I got a little jealous, because I wasn’t nearby.”

Clarke recalled their first big argument.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

October 2012

Clarke packed her bags getting ready to leave, when her phone buzzed.

 **Bellamy** : Hey babe. You have no idea how much I miss you. I am so bummed I won’t be able to see you this weekend, the days are getting longer. Hope you are studying and not watching Netflix.

Clarke smiled, she told him she wouldn’t be home this weekend because she had to study for a test, but she could study anywhere, so she was going to surprise him.

 **Clarke** : Yes, I know me too. Don’t worry I am studying. What are you up to tonight?

 **Bellamy** : Going for a beer at Dropship with the guys. What are you having for dinner?

Clarke rolled her eyes at this, typical Bellamy to check and make sure she’s studying and eating properly.

 **Clarke** : Mac n Cheese, but I wish I could have had you for dessert.

 **Bellamy** : Babe please, it’s hard enough, I’m considering driving there right now. Now I might actually do it. PS You should start eating healthier.

 **Clarke** : Mmmm… maybe you can tell me about it later, but right now I have to go. Love you!

 **Bellamy** : I definitely will. Love you too. Kiss Emoji. Heart Emoji.

 _He is such a dork._ She thought. She couldn’t wait to see his face when he saw her tonight. She carried all of her bags to the car and made the one and a half hour trip back to Arkadia. She went to her mom’s house first, since she sublet her apartment when she moved to Boston. She was staying with Bellamy most of the time, but right now she wanted to dress very sexy and surprise him at Dropship.

When she got to the house her mom and Marcus weren’t there. She made herself a sandwich and took a quick shower. She wore a blue wraparound dress that tied in the front, with a very low V-neckline, which showed a lot of cleavage. It was short, with a slight slit where the two sides met. The dress looked sexy but tasteful and stylish. She wanted to impress him, she knew she didn’t have too, he would love her even if she wore sweats and a t-shirt, but she wanted to, he made her feel beautiful, and she wanted to show him that. She applied a little make up, slid on her silver wedges with straps up to her ankle and was on her way.

When she got to the Dropship she quickly scanned the parking lot for his truck, when she didn’t see it she assumed he either wasn’t there yet or got a ride with someone else. As she entered she saw him sitting in a booth in the corner with the same girl she saw the night she confessed her feelings and another girl she did not recognize. Something twisted in her stomach, jealousy, she realized, these girls were talking and clearly flirting with her boyfriend. Clarke had never felt jealous like this before, she wasn’t sure how to act. She marched up to him, grabbed his face in-between her palms and kissed him sweetly. “Surprise baby, sorry, I just missed you so much.”

“Princess, what are you doing here, shouldn’t you be studying?” Bellamy asked as his brows furrowed, but he pulled her in for a hug.

Clarke smiled. “I may have told a little white lie, I wanted to surprise you. I can study at your place tomorrow.” And gave him another peck on the lips.

“Bellamy you haven’t introduced us to your _friend._ ” She heard the familiar girl say.

“Oh sorry, zoned out there for a second, this is Gina and Bree, and this is my girlfriend, Clarke.” Bellamy introduced them.

“Nice to meet you.” Clarke said.

“Nice to meet you too.” Gina replied. Bree just nodded.

“I thought you came out with the guys?” Clarke was slightly suspicious at the lack of his friends.

“Murphy is at the bar getting drinks, Miller is on his way and Harper went to the bathroom.” Bellamy explained as Murphy appeared at the table.

“Griffin, good to see you again, I owe you a whole box of condoms, this guy has been in the best mood ever since you’ve been in the picture.” Murphy quipped, but Clarke knew he was actually serious, because Bellamy could be quite hard to swallow, especially as a boss, when he was in a bad mood.

 “I’ll gladly accept those, thanks Murphy, those can be put to good use. Don’t think it will last long though.” Clarke winked at Bellamy, still trying to proclaim her territory, but it was the truth, she and Bellamy hadn’t been able to keep their hands off each other. Even when they weren’t together they FaceTimed each other. Bellamy pulled her into his lap and wrapped his arms around her. She had to push her legs together, because the gesture already made her wet. She could feel his biceps and abs all around her, which sent electric pulses through her entire body.

“I am so glad you’re here. This was such a good surprise. What do you want to drink?” Bellamy whispered against her ear.

“Good. I’m glad to be here. I actually feel like a gin and tonic tonight.” Bellamy slipped out behind her and went to the bar to buy her drink.

“How did you guys meet?” Gina asked smiling.

“Well his sister Octavia is one of my best friends, so she invited me to an end of school party at the start of summer and Bellamy answered the door.” Clarke tried to answer as diplomatic as possible. “How about you?”

“We met at the bar, I was kind of pretending to be a customer, he was in a very bad mood that night so I tried to cheer him up. I didn’t know he had a girlfriend” Gina explained.

 Clarke waved her hand dismissively. “Oh no we weren’t together back then. If you don’t mind me asking what did you mean by pretending to be a customer?” Clarke leaned a little closer.

“I moved to Arkadia about a year ago from Brooklyn, I always had a dream of owning my own bar. I worked a lot of jobs in Brooklyn, saved up enough money and bought this place a few months ago. I love it, I would love to turn it into a Cheers or a Maclarens. Metaphorically speaking obviously.”

Clarke nodded, that statement earned Gina a lot of respect because she did this all by herself. Gina seemed very pleasant, very real. It was clear that Gina had a serious interest in Bellamy, and if it wasn’t for that small problem, she might have considered becoming friends with her.

“I sense some tension here, I’m thinking Barlady might want in on Blake. Don’t worry you’re not alone, most girls want in on him, I don’t get it, but hey who am I to judge. I bet Barbie over here wants him too.” Murphy said pointing to Bree. Clarke glared at him, Murphy and his damn sarcasm. Bellamy loved him for some reason, so she had to tolerate him, but he just made it so damn difficult some times.

“Don’t worry Griffin, I’ve never seen our boy whipped before, but he sure is whipped now.” Murphy winked at Clarke, she got what he was trying to do, but he could have done it in a more subtle way. His words stung. _Most girls want in on him._ Why did she have to fall in love with Arkadia’s most eligible bachelor?

Bellamy returned with her drink and must have picked up on her discomfort. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” She assured him. He clearly didn’t buy it, but this wasn’t the right time for the conversation so he let it go.

Harper returned from the restroom and hugged Clarke. Miller and Jackson showed up shortly after, with Lincoln and Octavia just behind them. They had a few drinks and a few good laughs, but the earlier events was still present in Clarke’s mind. As Bellamy got a little drunk, his PDA started picking up and he kept whispering sweet and dirty things in her ear, eventually she couldn’t handle it anymore. “Bellamy Blake you better take me home and have your way with me.” She whispered back.

“I thought you’d never ask.” He smirked.

They called an Uber to take them home, because they both had had a little too much to drink. Bellamy kept nibbling on her ear and kissing her neck softly, but Clarke couldn’t avoid the “problem” anymore.

“Bell, what did I walk in on tonight?” Clarke raised her eyebrows.

“What are you talking about Babe?” He sounded genuinely confused.

“I’m talking about the girls flirting with you.”

“Who Gina? No Clarke we’re friends, she owns the place, we talk often when I go there.”

“She clearly wants to be more than just your friend.”

“That’s her problem, I only have eyes for a certain blonde girl, who I cannot wait to have on top and beneath me.” He seduced and tried to continue his nibbling.

“Bell no stop, I’m serious. Half the bar wants to get with you.” She pushed him away slowly.

“What’s wrong with you Clarke, where is this insecurity coming from? This isn’t you. What’s gotten into you? Why are you jealous of some girl?” He was clearly getting irritated.

“Why am I jealous? Girls can’t leave you alone and I am away at Med School most of the time. What would have happened if I didn’t show up tonight?” Clarke demanded.

“Seriously Clarke? How can you say you love me if you don’t trust me? I would have had a few drinks, gone home and Skyped you, like I always do. I know we’ve only been together a few weeks, and we’ve only known each other a few months, but you’re it for me Clarke, you have no idea how much I love you.” Bellamy tried to reason with her, but she wasn’t having any of it, girls were all over him and he seemed to enjoy the attention.

“How can I not be jealous, you would have been too if you walked in on the scene I did”

“What scene are you referring to? A guy having a conversation with two girls about security at a bar? Because that is all it was.”

“That’s not all it was, she was playing with her hair, pushing out her boobs, laughing at everything you were saying, it’s called flirting Bellamy. I’m sure you know exactly what it looks like, seeing as every girl in this damn town wants to get with you and the other half probably already have.” She spat.

“Yes I do know what it looks like, and yeah maybe she was, but did it look like I was flirting back? Definitely not. I would never do anything to hurt you, ever. And no Clarke I may have been with a few girls before you, but it was only because I’ve never had this.” He gestured between the two of them. “But it definitely wasn’t half the town and I’ve never touched Gina, I have no interest in doing so, I promise you.” He scowled and turned to look out the window.

Clarke sighed defeated, she actually knew it before he said it. _Being in love makes you crazy_. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I know that. I really _do_ trust you, doesn’t mean I trust them. I just… I don’t like girls not respecting that you have a girlfriend and still flirting with you. Maybe I’m jealous because they get to hang out with you more than I do and maybe I’m just scared I’m not enough.”

“Baby, look at me.” He tilted her chin up. “Don’t ever think that, you are more than I will ever need. No girl will ever change that, promise you believe me?”

“Yes, I promise.” She nodded, she knew what she felt was silly, she knew everything he said was true, he showed her every day, and she felt it in every touch

“I’m really glad you surprised me.” He smiled pushing his forehead against hers.

When they got to his apartment, he tipped the driver and led her inside. He picked her up, she locked her legs around him and he carried her to his room, he gently placed her on his bed. “Clarke, you really don’t have to be jealous, I mean a little jealousy is good for my ego, but we have to trust each other completely. I understand it, I may get a little worried too, knowing my beautiful girl is so far away, surrounded by the most elite students and good looking ones as well, but you’re my everything Princess, and I’m hoping you feel the same.”

“I do Bell, I promise, we’re it for me too.” She admitted when his lips suddenly crashed into hers. Measured at first, but then wild and crazy and filled with need. She slowly started undressing him until he was only in his boxers. She pushed him across the room to the chair at his desk and did a little striptease for him. His eyes went wide, clearly enjoying the show. She climbed on top of him and kissed him again. His fingers trailed gently down her body and up her thighs until it finally reached its destination. He rubbed his finger between her lips smearing her juices.

“You’re soaking wet for me babe.” He hushed against her ear.

“Well, I guess you do things to me Detective Blake, but I can tell I do things to you too.” She said grinding down on his erection. “Is Octavia coming home?”

 Bellamy shook his head.

“Good, cause I wanna ride you until I scream.” She enticed.

“Whatever you need princess.” He pushed two fingers inside her. “Ride my fingers first babe. Make yourself feel good.”

She obeyed. It felt great, but she wanted more, she wanted all of him. So she got up and gestured for him to remove his boxers, he did as told and she slid down onto him. It hurt for a moment as he stretched and filled her, but the sting was quickly replaced by enjoyment. She stared grinding down on him, slow at first, but it still wasn’t enough so she picked up the pace. “Uh, Uh….. Oh Yes Bell, Uh…” She moaned.

“That’s it babe make yourself come. Oh baby you feel amazing.” His hands found her clit and stared rubbing enthusiastically and that was all she needed to send her into oblivion. He came almost right after her and she collapsed on top of him, writhed with pleasure.

“That was amazing.” She breathed.

 He smiled and wiped her sticky hair from her forehead. “I’m exhausted, let’s get some sleep.”

She nodded, pulled him up and led him back to the bed. She curled up in his side. “Thanks Bell. Sleep tight.”

“Love you princess.”

“Love you too.” She closed her eyes and drifted off, beyond happy.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


	9. You never finished your story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter. Finally some insight into Bellamy. This chapter is almost 7k.

Present day

Bellamy was sitting at the kitchen table, searching for a new apartment on his laptop. The apartment hunt hadn’t been great so far. He sighed. He had also been dreading Clarke’s arrival since he called her. The fact that they weren’t able to assemble a team gave him an out and then Clarke suddenly changed her mind. The situation was just very uncomfortable to him. He hadn’t seen her since she left. He wasn’t sure how to act around her. The rest of their friends obviously didn’t understand, the last time he saw her she was his girlfriend, he loved her. Now she was just a distant memory. A closed chapter in the book of his life he did not wish to revisit. She used to be his whole world apart from Octavia of course.

“Hey babe, what do you feel like for breakfast?” Echo suddenly appeared and pulled him from his thoughts.

“Oh, uh sorry, I kinda zoned out there for a bit. Why don’t we go out for breakfast then we can go for some last minute Christmas shopping?”

“Yeah, sure sounds good. I’ll just hop in the shower and then we can go.” He nodded smiling.

And he was once again back to his trepidations.

He took Echo to her favorite restaurant, it was a small, cozy, bohemian styled coffee shop with the best muffins and lattes. She told him it reminded her of home. He read the menu like a newspaper, as if he was going to order anything else. Everything about the place made him comfortable. It was the first place they had had lunch when she first joined their team and became his partner. The walls were filled with coffee mugs, smiling faces and famous quotes, the staff were friendly and most of the customers were regulars. Today was just an off day for him.

“Okay out with it?” She must have picked up on his foul mood.

“I’m just a bit bummed we can’t seem to find the right apartment.” He explained

“Bellamy Blake, do I have idiot written on my forehead?”

“No you look beautiful today.” She really did, she was wearing a pair of black skinny jeans, a fluffy white blouse with a long beige cardigan.

She raised her eyebrows. “Thanks, but don’t change the subject.”

“Fine. It’s Clarke, I’m seriously not looking forwards to having her here. I mean we all have this dynamic now, having her here is just going to make things weird.”

“Everybody else is overly excited about seeing her. So you have no idea to act around her I take it?”

“Yeah I guess. Look it’s not that I don’t want to see her, I would like to know she is doing well, but it’s just, I’m scared everything will be weird and I’ll ruin Christmas.” He tried to explain his indifference towards her visit.

“I get it. She was your girlfriend for 3 years, you have no idea how to be friend.”

 _Damn she knows me so well._ “Yes, and if I have to be honest, a part of me hates her.” Maybe hate was a bit too strong of a word, but the girl caused him a lot of heartache just because he wasn’t he wasn’t good enough for her.

“I get that too. Look we go over, say hello to her, try and avoid her, celebrate Christmas with the rest of our family and then we go home and celebrate on our own if you know what I mean.” She winked.

“Do you know how much I love you?”

“I do know, and I love you too and that’s why I know when things are bothering you, and how to fix them.” She leaned over the table and gave him a peck on the lips. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Talk about what?” He had just told her what was bothering him.

“Why a part of you hates her.”

“Oh, no I’m done talking about my ex-girlfriend. Let’s rather talk about what you got me for Christmas.” He smirked.

“I’ll tell you what it’s not. It’s not another history book or DVD. I can’t find anything you don’t already have.” He was glad about that, he was very specific in what he liked to watch or read.

“So not even a hint?”

“Nope, you only have to wait another day.”

“Are we giving our gifts tomorrow night as well? I was thinking we should have a nice breakfast on Christmas morning and exchange gifts?” Her gift was way too personal to open in front of everybody else.

“Yeah, that sounds nice, okay, then you have to wait 2 days.”

He smiled to himself thinking about the gift he got her. He really hoped that she was going to love it. He tried to picture her face when she opened it.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Clarke decided it was better to stay over in Buffalo for the night instead of driving straight through, she was starting to get tired and uncomfortable. Madi had been sleeping for a while, although it was restless, it was better than staying awake the whole time.

“Come on Sleepyhead, time to get up.” She woke Madi, gently shaking her shoulder.

“Urghhh ok.” Madi groaned sitting up. “What are we doing at a hotel?”

“We’re staying here tonight. Sorry Madz I can’t drive anymore.”

“Aaah that suck’s but I understand I guess. I just can’t wait to get there.”

“I know me too, sorry kiddo.”

 They walked up to the check-in desk. Clarke knew the chances were slim, but she really hoped they still had a room available.

“Good Afternoon. We don’t have a booking, I know I’m taking a chance here, but I was hoping you still have a room available for tonight?”

The attendant smiled at her and Clarke couldn’t help but notice she was beautiful. “You have no idea how lucky you are, we just had a cancellation, like I just put the phone down before you walked in.”

“Oh thank heavens. You are like my knight in shining armor. We’re on our way to visit family, but I am just too tired to drive any longer.” Clarke was so relieved, she was expecting to try every hotel in the city and end up disappointed.

She made the reservation, they fetched the luggage from the car and went up to the room. It was a basic hotel room with white walls, a queen size bed with white bedsheets and a lot of pillows. There was a flat screen TV mounted on the wall across from the bed, a small table with two chairs in the corner and a coffee station. Both of them lay down on the comfy bed and ordered room service. She called Octavia and Raven to let them know they would only be there the next day. Clarke took a short nap. When she woke Madi, like most teenagers, was on her phone.

“What you doing?” She asked her.

“Just chatting with Charlotte. Scrolling through Twitter and Instagram. Your phone rang twice, it wasn’t a number I recognized, so I didn’t answer, you were so tired I didn’t want to wake you either.”

Clarke picked up her phone and checked the missed calls. It was a Massachusetts area code. _Weird._ She thought but nonetheless returned the call.

“Hello” A woman answered.

“Good afternoon, this is Clarke Griffin, I received a call from this number.”

“Oh yes, Doctor Griffin, this is Anya Woods from Arkadia General Hospital, is this a convenient time to talk, I know it is a Saturday afternoon, but hospitals never sleep as you know.”

“Uh, yes sure, it’s fine.”

Anya was serious and firm. “Doctor Griffin we received your application. I’m going to be very honest with you, we have a serious staff shortage in our ER department at the moment, and we would love to have you for an interview on Tuesday morning if you would be interested. I know you were applying for a surgical residency position, but like I said we urgently need ER doctors, and your surgery skills will be a great benefit for us. The salary will probably not be the same as what you earned in Chicago, but you will still be able to assist in surgeries.”

Someone was definitely looking out for her, the hotel all of a sudden had a room available and she got an interview straight away. “Uh no, that’s fine, thank you very much, I wasn’t expecting to hear from you at all, let alone this soon. What time should I be there on Tuesday?”

“Would nine o’clock suit you?”

“Yes perfect, I will see you Tuesday morning at nine. Thank you so much.”

“When you get to reception, just ask for Anya Woods. See you on Tuesday. Merry Christmas Doctor Griffin.”

“Thank you. Same to you.” Clarke hung up.

“Who was that?” Madi sat up and moved closer to Clarke.

“I applied at the hospitals in Arkadia last night and I have an interview on Tuesday morning.” She said filled with enthusiasm. She really couldn’t care less whether it wasn’t exactly what she wanted, it gave them the chance to move to Arkadia and that was all she needed.

“Yes!!! Yes! Yes! We’re moving to Arkadia!” Madi started jumping on the bed.

“Slow down Madz, nothing is final yet, we haven’t talked about it properly, I still have to go for the interview and talk to my mom.”

“Whatever Clarke, it’s happening.” Madi gave her bit of attitude when she sat back down crossed legged facing Clarke.

“Madi are you really sure about this?”

“Yes, I’ve already told Charlotte and tweeted it.”

“Madi.” Clarke sighed. “If we do this, it’s final, there’s no going back. If you realize 3 months down the line you’re not happy, we can’t pack up and leave again.” Clarke pushed a strand of Madi’s hair behind her ear.

“Clarke have you never had a feeling that something is just right?”

Clarke thought about it for a second, she had that exact feeling right now and a few more times in her life before. But before it was just her she had to worry about, now she was responsible for Madi as well and she was the most important thing in the world to her. “Sure I have kiddo, but I have to think about you as well, and I have to make sure that you are making this choice for the right reasons.”

“I am, I promise you Clarke. If mom was here she would have told you to move back too. She would have told you to go back to your mom and Marcus, your friends, your family, your home and she would have told you to make it mine too.”

That was just like Madi, she dragged her mother into a conversation and all of Clarke’s resistance crumbled. “Are you sure you’re only 12 or are you like a 112 year old vampire?” Clarke teased and tickled her. Madi started tickling her too which turned into a full on pillow wrestling match.

When they finally fell down in a fit of laughter and declared a truce both of them took a shower, and ordered room service again for dinner. They lay in bed, as they ate and watched some silly reality show that was on TV. They were both extremely happy and excited for both the trip and the move to Arkadia. Clarke started drifting off to sleep once again because they had to get up very early the next day when Madi’s voice brought her back.

“Clarke you never finished your story.”

“Madi you promised you would let the topic go. It happened a long time ago.” Clarke was a little annoyed.

“Yes, but you never told me why you left. You only said that you were together and blissfully happy and all sorts of soppy romcom stuff.”

“I got accepted into the Harvard final year surgical program and I was placed at Chicago Med.” She tried to satisfy Madi’s curiosity with a simple answer.

“Why didn’t he come with you?”

“I told him not to. His job and all his friends and family were in Arkadia.” _Damn this girl is relentless._

“I just don’t get it, if you were so happy and you loved him as much as you loved mom, then you wouldn’t have left him.” Madi noted.

Clarke contemplated about it for a second, not sure whether she should tell Madi. “You’re insufferable, you know that.” She turned around to face her. “I was scared.”

“Scared of what.”

“Scared of losing him.”

“What does that even mean?”

“Fine, I’ll tell you the story. That was another thing we used to argue about a lot. His job was very dangerous, and I was always scared that something would happen to him. I made him promise me to let me know whenever he was working on something life threating and send me updates as often as he could. Which he did, reluctantly, because he said that it would only distract me from my studies, but one day a couple of weeks before I left something happened…”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

April 2015

 **Bellamy:** Babe, you know I don’t like telling you this, but we’re going on a dangerous mission today. Be in touch as soon as I can. Love you.

 **Clarke:** Okay baby, good luck, be careful, please use your heart AND your head. Love you too.

Clarke went to all her classes, following her usual routine just like any other day. She had learnt over the past few years that worrying won’t help the situation. She did however frequently check her phone for an update from him. She got home around 4pm, with still no update. Octavia was already home, lying on the couch, her head deep into what Clarke assumed was a textbook.

When Octavia got into Harvard Law after completing her degree and passing the LSAT’s, they decided to get an apartment together with Raven in Boston. Raven went to MIT for her masters in Mechanical Engineering. Although Clarke had to drive or take the bus to campus every day, because the apartment was located closer to their campuses, she loved living with her friends.

“Hey” Clarke greeted her.

“Hey” Octavia didn’t lift her head from her book.

“Big test?” Clarke assumed.

“Clarke we go to Harvard, when do we not have a big test?”

Clarke chuckled. “Yeah, you’re right. I’m starving, gonna make a sandwich with the leftover chicken, want one?”

“Yes, please.”

Clarke disappeared into kitchen to make their sandwiches. She brought both plates to the living room, handed one to Octavia and sat down on the couch across from her.

“You better hope Bell doesn’t find out we have sandwiches for dinner. He’ll storm in here and give us cooking lessons." Octavia teased taking a bite.

“Well I haven’t had lunch yet, so technically it’s not dinner.” Clarke joked, but the mention of him had her stomach swirling again. She hid her unease, to avoid alarming Octavia.

“Don’t let him find that out either, geez he can be so overbearing sometimes. It drives me insane.” Clarke just laughed, it drove her insane sometimes too, but it was one of the things she loved most about him.

Clarke got up to take her plate to the kitchen as soon as she finished her sandwich. “Want me to quiz you?”

Octavia shook her head. “Um no I still have a lot studying to do. But thanks for the offer.”

Raven half stumbled into the apartment with a large box in her hands.

“Moving out? Getting tired of us?” Octavia mocked.

“I’m starting to consider it since neither of you got up to help me.” She sounded almost serious. “I am going to kill Kyle Wick, he messes up everything he touches, now I have to bring this home and fix everything.”

Clarke and Octavia looked at each other, both trying to stifle a laugh. They knew Raven, she always wanted to do everything herself, because in her eyes, if you wanted something done, you do it yourself.

“Relax Ray, can I get you glass of wine?” Clarke tried to calm her down.

“Yes, please, I actually need more than one, but then this project will be doomed. Thanks Clarke.”

Clarke nodded and went to the kitchen to pour Raven’s wine, she returned and handed it to her friend. “Guys, as much as I would love to hang out, I have tons of studying to do.” Both girls just waved her off, completely understanding, since all three of them were completely swamped most of the time.

Clarke took a quick shower, blocked the panic from her mind and started studying. At 8pm she decided to text Bellamy.

 **Clarke:** Getting worried Bell, please let me know if you’re ok.

At around 11pm Clarke eventually went to bed after calling the station, they explained to her that their team had not yet returned from their mission. She felt the dread pooling in her stomach, but she had to be hopeful that he was fine. She didn’t switch her phone to silent and struggled to fall asleep, but after about an hour of tossing and turning, sleep eventually overtook her.

Her phone ringing woke her, she checked the time, it was almost 2am, and she didn’t recognize the number.

“Hello?” Clarke said her voice groggy with sleep.

“Hi, is this Clarke Griffin?” A woman’s voice asked.

“Yes, who is this?”

“Clarke this is Charmaine Dioyza?”

Clarke felt suddenly sick and a lump made its way into her throat. “Is he okay?”

“There was a shooting, the ambulance took him to St Mary’s, he had his vest on, I’m sure he’s fine.”

Her heart started beating frantically, but she tried her best to keep it together. “I uh, I, I’m on my way, but I’m an hour and a half away. I’ll call and inform his mother immediately. I’m hoping she can be right over.”

“Thank you. I have no details as yet. And Clarke… bring his sister with you if you can.”

Clarke didn’t even say goodbye, she just hung up dialed Aurora’s number. There was no answer, she tried again and finally Aurora picked up on the 5th ring. “Clarke?” Aurora’s sounded still half asleep.

“Hi Aurora, Sorry to bother you, but it’s an emergency. There was a shooting, Bell’s been admitted to St Mary’s, Octavia and I will be there as soon as we can, but can you please go to check on him?”

It seemed like Clarke’s statement woke her up instantly and her voice was full of concern. “Oh no. Oh Clarke, I’m on my way, see you in a bit. I’ll let you know as soon as I know something. Be safe on the roads.” She paused. “Clarke, you have to trust that he’ll be okay.”

“I’ll try, thank you Aurora.” Clarke was trying her best to be hopeful, but she couldn’t help the small voice in her head predicting the worst.

“Bye Clarke.”

“Bye.” She ended the call, hurried to Octavia’s room and shook her maybe a little too rough. “Octavia wake up.”

“Clarke, what’s wrong?”

“It’s Bellamy, he’s been admitted to hospital. I’m gonna call my mom and find out if she knows something.”

Octavia went into a panic. “Fuck! Okay!” She jumped up and got dressed.

Clarke’s phone rang, her mother’s name on the screen. “Mom?”

“Hi Baby, I take it you’ve heard.”

“Yes, but they didn’t tell me anything.” She was desperate for some information.

“Honey he is fine. He was shot, but his vest protected him. He was unconscious for a while, probably because of the impact and the shock, he is bruised pretty badly, but he is perfectly fine, I was just with him, he asked me to call you.”

She exhaled with relief, he was okay. “Oh thank heavens. Mom, can I talk to him?”

“Sure, I’ll take the phone to him.”

Clarke heard her mother walking and handing Bellamy the phone. “She wants to talk to you.”

His voice was calm, like nothing had happened. “Hey princess.”

“Bell, hi, you have no idea how worried I was when Diyoza called me.” Hearing his voice was like the best sound in the world.

“Sorry princess, I’m fine now, your mom will make sure they take good care of me, get some sleep, you’ve got class in the morning.”

She shook her head, because trust Bellamy Blake to be concerned about her right after he was shot. “No baby, are you crazy, I’m already on my way to you.”

“Clarke no way, you are not driving all this way right now…” He sighed. “I don’t even know why I’m trying you’re not going listen to me are you?”

“You bet your ass I’m not. I’ll see you in a little while. I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“Me too. Clarke drive safe, don’t rush, _please_?” He pleaded with her.

“I will, I promise. I love you, see you soon.” She hung up.

“Should we wake Raven?” Clarke asked Octavia.

Octavia shook her head, her face full of concern. “Is Bell okay?”

“Yeah, he sounds ok, his vest protected him.” Even though he seemed to be fine, she still couldn’t help but worry.

Octavia nodded. “This is exactly why I want to be a lawyer.”

They rushed to Clarke’s car, got in and buckled up in seconds. The engine roared to life and she drove as fast and safe as she could at the same time. The car was barely parked and Clarke was already out of her seatbelt and the door. She didn’t wait for Octavia, she ran inside, got directions to his room from reception and rapidly found his room. When she got to his floor everyone was sitting outside in the waiting room, Murphy saw her first and ran to hug her. “Clarke, are you okay?”

She nodded and tears slipped down her cheek, completely against her will. “I’m just so glad he’s fine.”

“I know, I came as soon as Diyoza called me, she said you were on your way. When we got here he was already awake. I think he’s asleep now, but I’m sure he’ll want to see you.” Murphy motioned to his room.

She quietly sneaked inside, sat down next to him and took his hand in both of hers. He didn’t wake up, probably because of the pain medication. This was her life now. This had been her life for the past 3 years, but she only then realized how quickly her life could be taken from her. She wasn’t sure whether she would be able to deal with it. She remembered how it felt to lose her dad, how her heart broke, how she couldn’t deal with it for months, and the depression she went through.

Loving Bellamy meant loving all of Bellamy. The dangers that came with his job was part of the package, because he loved his job and he was so good at it, proud of it and she was proud of him for it. She just wasn’t sure how she would be able to move on if she had to lose him like she lost her dad. She eventually drifted to sleep resting her head on his bed.

At around 8 am a nurse strolled in with a testing machine, coffee with biscuits and medication in a small plastic bowl.  She smiled at Clarke, but Clarke didn’t feel like smiling back. “Morning, you must be his girlfriend?”

Clarke just nodded, the relentless tears once again pooling in her eyes.

The nurse woke Bellamy. “Morning Mr. Blake. It’s time to take to take your medication, just have some coffee and biscuits first, you can’t take this on an empty stomach.” She then continued to check his wounds, test his blood pressure and other vitals.

Clarke looked at him, it seemed like he was struggling to gain consciousness and open his eyes. She took his hand again. “Hey Bell, how are you feeling?”

Her words seemed to wake him. “Princess, you’re still here.”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “Where else would I be?”

“At home sleeping.” She wasn’t sure whether he was trying to be funny, but he seemed quite serious.

“If this was me, where would you be?”

“Ok yeah I get it.” He wiped the tear that was rolling down her cheek. “I’m fine Princess, I promise.”

“I know, but you have no idea how scared I was.”

“I was scared too.” He admitted. “Clarke I’m quitting.” He stated nonchalantly like he just decided what he was making for dinner.

Clarke gasped, she wasn’t even sure whether she heard him correctly. “What? Bell no. Why? You love your job. The things you do, you’re amazing.”

“I love you more. It’s dangerous Clarke, anything can happen to me, and then you’ll be alone. When we have a family someday I want to be there for you.”

Clarke’s heartrate picked up, her palms started sweating and her silent tears turned into an almost sob. “A family?”

“Hey Princess no, don’t cry.” He took her hand, kissed the back of it and wiped away the tears away. “Of course I want a family, I want to marry you, buy a house, have kids, a dog, I want everything with you. I have a plan, just trust me.”

Clarke didn’t look him in the eyes. “You deserve all of that.” It was an almost whisper. “Don’t quit Bell, this is who you are. If you do you might regret it in the future and maybe resent me for it.”

Bellamy squeezed her hand as he took a sip of his coffee. “I know what it does to you. I know how worried you are every day. I know how you felt after losing your dad, I can’t continue putting you through this Clarke.”

“Bellamy I won’t let you.” She stated matter-of-factly. He just nodded, he knew better than to argue with her. “I think your mom and Octavia would like to like to see you too. I’ll go get them.” He nodded again as she got up to leave the rom.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Present day

Madi was playing with her hair, her mouth agape, hanging onto Clarke's every word. “So you left him because you didn’t want him to quit his job, but it still scared you?”

“Something like that.” Clarke didn't confirm nor reject her assumption.

“Clarke I’m so sorry, you left because you were afraid to lose him and you lost mom instead.”

Clarke took Madi’s hand in hers. “Well I’m not, you know why? Because if I didn’t leave I never would have met you or your mom, I never would’ve had the privilege to love her and raise you. You are everything to me, and do you know what helped me deal with losing your mom?” Madi shook her head. “You.”

“I love you Clarke.”

“I love you too Kiddo, now get some sleep, we have to get up early.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Bellamy was lying in bed, he waited for Echo to fall asleep so he could wrap her Christmas gift. When he was sure she was soundly asleep he got up and walked over to the closet, scurrying through it to find where he hid it. He couldn’t wait to give it to her. He slinked to the kitchen to find the gift bag he had bought and then to Miller’s room to borrow some tissue paper or something. When he got close he heard Jackson’s voice, he turned to leave as not to disturb them but when he heard Clarke’s name, he couldn’t resist the urge to stop and listen in.

“…I’m teling you this is why Octavia did this. You know how much Octavia dislikes her.” Jackson said. Bellamy wasn’t sure who they were referring to, Octavia loved Clarke like a sister, she was one of the only people that wasn’t really mad at Clarke for leaving in the first place.

“No man, not possible, Bellamy loves Echo, you don’t work with them, they are like Bonnie and Clyde or Mr. and Mrs. Smith or something” Bellamy let out a soft snicker at Miller’s description of them.

“Yes sure, because he hasn’t seen her in over two years, he hasn’t faced those feelings, do you remember what a mess he was after Clarke left, he nearly drank himself into oblivion every single night.”

“Of course I remember, he’s one of my best friends, but he got over it and fell in love with Echo.”

“I don’t think he ever got over it.”

Jackson’s statement upset him. How could he think he hadn’t gotten over it? He decided that Jackson just didn’t know him as well as Miller did. Clarke really broke him, but he got up and moved on. Sure he was still mad as hell at her, he still kind of hated her. She broke him apart, he will probably never be able to forgive her for that, but he definitely got over it. He still remembered that night like it was yesterday.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

June 2015

Bellamy ascended the steps of Marcus and Abby’s mansion. If you could use the term mansion, sometimes castle seemed more fitting. He knocked nervously, he felt very hot and his throat was dry. Marcus answered the door.

“Bellamy this is a surprise.” He stuck out his hand and Bellamy shook it.

“Good evening Marcus. I this a good time, I was hoping to speak to Abby.”

“She’ll be back in about a half an hour, can I get you drink while you wait for her.” Actually a drink sounded like the best idea.

“If I’m not intruding, that would be great.”

“Family doesn’t intrude Bellamy, you know you’re welcome anytime.”

Bellamy grinned at being considered family of the Mayor. “Thank you.” He said as he stepped inside.

Marcus left the room and reappeared shortly after with two whiskeys in hand, he handed Bellamy one. They talked a bit about the city, threats the city held and Marcus’s plans for the future. Bellamy enjoyed politics, talking to Marcus was easy.

The front door opened a little while later, and Abby appeared. She walked straight to Bellamy and hugged him. “Oh honey, I’m glad to see you’re doing well, I’ve been worried about you. To what do we owe this surprise?”

 “Hi Abby, good to see you too. I uh actually I came to uh -” He stumbled over the words.

Abby cut him off. “You want my blessing to marry my daughter?”

Bellamy felt his tan cheeks turn completely red, if that was possible. “Yes, I would love to marry her.”

Abby turned to Marcus. “You owe me a hundred bucks.”

Marcus laughed. “I do.”

Bellamy looked between them frowning.

“I bet Marcus it was going to happen before the end of the summer.” Abby explained. Bellamy blushed again and took a sip of his whiskey to hide his embarrassment. “Anyway are you in a hurry or can you join us for dinner.”

“No, sure that would be lovely, thank you.”

Abby called the butler and asked him to set another place. They sat down at the end of the long dining table. Bellamy had gotten used to it, although it still felt strange to him, being served and treated like royalty. He still couldn’t believe the princess chose _him_ , who was a nobody. They made small talk for a little while, and Bellamy was getting slightly agitated because Abby still hadn’t answered his question. He also didn’t want to push it, so he decided to take a different approach. “Before you answer my question Abby, I would just like to let you know that I’m planning on quitting my job. I’ve already spoken to the sergeant, she agreed to transfer me to training, and use me on occasion on the inside.”

Abby frowned. “Have you spoken to Clarke about this?”

“Yes, she doesn’t approve, but I have to do this, if I marry her and start a family with her I have to be there for her, protect her, I mean I know she can take care of herself, but she doesn’t have to, I want to take care of her.”

“Bellamy you can’t make this decision alone, you can’t do this without her blessing, she’s your partner.” Bellamy nodded, he knew Abby was right, but Clarke was just being as stubborn as usual about this.

Abby and Marcus shared a look before Marcus spoke. “I might have a solution for you, _if_ Clarke agrees. We have a position available for a head of security. It won’t be as exciting and heroic as what you’re doing right now and obviously you will have to apply and go through the whole process just like any other applicant, but the salary and benefits are very good. I think you have the right skills and experience for the job. It will unfortunately be a desk job most of the time, strategies, logistics, liaising things like that, but at least it’s not as dangerous as being out in the field.”

It may not have been his dream job, but it sounded perfect. “Thank you Marcus, I’ll discuss it with Clarke and consider it.”

There was a slight uncomfortable silence while they ate. Abby still hadn’t given him her blessing, but she must have noticed his nerves. “Jake would have loved you. I wish he could have been here to meet you and tell you how happy you make his little girl. I remember the first time she told me about you, she placed you on the highest pedestal I’ve ever heard her place anyone. And I’ve seen over and over again how much you adore her, I’ve never met anyone more her equal, more worthy of her love. There is no doubt in my mind that nothing would make her happier than to marry you.”

A small lump formed in his throat hearing his, _hopefully,_ future mother-in-law speak so highly of him. “You have no idea how much that means to me. Thank you Abby. I promise you I will spend every day making her happy, because she deserves the best.” His voice was weak, as he tried to push back tears.

“I have no doubt.” Abby beamed.

They finished their dinner, had some desert and a few glasses of wine. He always had the perception that Clarke’s parents were vain and pretentious, but over the years he learnt that they were very good and noble people, he really loved them, they always made him feel comfortable and they seemed to adore him. He thanked them again, said goodbye and made his way home to plan his proposal. He knew Clarke wouldn’t like something big and flashy, so he asked Octavia and Raven to keep her occupied so he could cook her favorites and set up a nice romantic dinner in their apartment. He organized everything and decided to treat the three of them to a massage to keep them out of the apartment.

He took the afternoon off the next day and drove to Boston. He cooked Clarke’s favorite lasagna dish with spinach, put some champagne on ice and prepared chocolate covered strawberries for desert. He then set two places at their small dining room table with lots of candles. When Raven texted that they were on their way back he drew her a bath with bath salts and -bombs and candles. His nerves were shot, he obviously knew she wouldn’t say no, because he knew she loved him and wanted to marry him, they had talked about it before, but he was still nervous. When she opened the door, saw him and everything he set up, she placed her hands over her mouth in disbelief. “Wow Bell. This is so beautiful. And it smells amazing.”

“You are amazing princess, I just wanted to treat you. I ran you a bath, go, and enjoy it while I finish dinner.”

She shook her head. “No Bell you shouldn’t have done this, I don’t deserve this.” He didn’t know whether he imagined it, but he sensed some concern in her voice.

“Stop being stubborn, go, bath, dinner will be ready shortly.” He ordered.

She walked over and kissed him tenderly, appreciatively. “You are hands down the best boyfriend in the world. I don’t deserve you”

“I try.” He said sheepish.

Clarke returned from her bath wearing a plain, tight, sexy black dress, showing off her lovely breasts and all her curves. “Wow, you are so beautiful. Come here.” He took her into his arms and just held her tight for a few moments and then grabbed one of the mini quiches he had made and fed it to her.

“I don’t have to tell you, because you really don’t need the ego boost, but you really are an amazing cook.” She mumbled with her mouth still full.

Without answering he pulled out her chair, and gestured for her to sit down. He fetched both their plates from the kitchen and placed one in front of her before taking his own seat. “I want to talk to you about something.”

“Me too, but you go first.”

He cleared his throat. “Um. Okay. Remember when I was in hospital I told you I wanted to quit. Well, I’ve spoken to Diyoza, she said I can go into training and still assist them on cases on an ad-hoc basis, not in the field of course. I don’t have the computer skills to be the computer specialist unfortunately. Marcus also told me that they have a head of security position available which he wants me to apply for.”

He could tell she immediately tensed up. “Bell I thought we’ve already discussed this. I mean if you want to quit because it’s not want you want to do anymore, then fine, go ahead, but if this is because of me worrying about your safety then the answer is no.”

“Come on Clarke, why do you have to be so stubborn about this?” He pleaded with her.

“Because it’s what you live for, you love it, catching bad guys, putting them away. Pretty soon you and Octavia will be working side by side, making sure they get what they deserve. I am not going to let you give that up because of me.”

Everything she said was the truth, be none of that made sense without her, he would give it all up in a heartbeat for her. “Clarke you are my life, I’ve noticed every time I’ve mentioned marriage or kids since that day in the hospital you get uncomfortable and I know it’s because you’re scared of losing me and having to raise our family on your own.”

Clarke went completely silent for a few moments, only concentrating on her food. “Bell, let’s just enjoy this for now, we can talk about it later. You went through all this trouble, please I don’t want to fight, I just want to enjoy this with you.”

He took her hands and kissed them. “Sure okay. So how was your exams?”

“I think they went okay, I mean it’s not like they weren’t difficult, but I’m sure I’ll do well.”

“Never doubted it.”

Clarke straightened and looked at him with a small smile. “Well with you looking over my shoulder and making sure I study all the time, I guess I didn’t have a choice.”

“I don’t do that.” He mocked knowing he did that with both Clarke and Octavia, he just couldn’t help it, he wanted the best for them.

“Whatever, you even do it when I try to seduce you.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, that’s very difficult, but I have to be the responsible one, I am quite a bit older than you.”

The rest of their dinner was lovely, they had wine, they talked and laughed and it was just them, just perfect like always. Bellamy helped Clarke clean up the kitchen after they ate and suggested they watch a movie of her choice. Clarke picked a soppy romcom, not that it was her type of movie, but she said it was fitting for their date. He took the desert out of the fridge, poured both of them a glass of champagne and placed all of it on the table in the living room.

“Bell you really shouldn’t have gone through all this trouble.” It almost sounded like she was complaining.

“Yes I did.” He fed her a strawberry. “How are they?”

“Incredible just like everything else you make.”

He sat down next to her, facing her, one of his feet propped up on the couch and fed her another strawberry. She then took one out of the bowl, licked the chocolate seductively and fed it to him. She grinned and turned her attention to find a movie for them to watch. When she wasn’t looking, he removed the little box from his pocket and opened it. She turned back to face him when she heard the sound of the box opening. Her eyes were wide, her face paler than a ghost.

He expected a slightly more enthusiastic expression, but the shock probably just meant she wasn’t expecting this at all. “Marry me?”

Tears welled in her eyes. For a few seconds she didn’t move, then finally shook her head. “I’m sorry. I can’t.”

He wasn’t expecting that, he had never once thought that she would say no, it never even crossed his mind. “Clarke?”

“I’m moving to Chicago.”

“What?” Where on earth did that come from.

Clarke continued sniffling. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I got accepted into the surgical program, but I was placed at Chicago Med.”

“Oh baby that’s okay, we’ll make a plan, I can go with you, or we can do long distance, we’re pretty good at it by now.” In his heart he knew no time or distance would be able to separate them.

She shook her head again. “No Bell, I’m sorry it’s over.”

Her words were like a knife through the gut, sweat pooled on his forehead and he felt like he wanted to throw up. “No Clarke, we can still make it work. I know how much you love me, is this because of my job? Baby we can still make it work, this is not what you want, I can see it in your eyes.” He pulled her closer to him to hold her and reassure her, but she pushed him away.

She moved even further away from him, her hands were trembling as she hugged herself. “I’m sorry Bell it’s over. I think you should go.”

“Princess no. I’ll come with you.” He almost shouted refusing to accept what she was telling him. “If you don’t want to get engaged yet, fine, we don’t have to, whatever you want Clarke, just please don’t do this.”

“No!” She shouted as she started sobbing. He wanted to hold her and comfort her, but for some reason she wouldn’t let him near her. When she finally calmed down a bit she said. “Your job, your friends, your family, your everything is in Arkadia, you’re not coming with me. I don’t want you to. Don’t make this harder than it already is, please just leave, and forget about me.” She walked over to the door, opened it and gestured for him to leave.

He was defeated, he knew there was something else going on here, but he didn’t push, because at the end of the day she deserved so much more than him so he got up and walked to the door. “You know I will never be able to forget about you. I will always love you. I don’t understand why you’re doing this, but I guess it never made sense for you to love me anyway. Goodbye Clarke.” He left. As soon as he was in the parking lot he started crying like he had never cried before, because nothing had ever hurt the way everything hurt in that moment, he fell to his knees and sobbed. That was the last time he ever saw her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is crazy. Clarke and Madi FINALLY arrive in Arkadia and you will see them interact with all the delinquents some of them still a bit mad at Clarke. A lot, like a lot of Bellarke angst, Bellamy still hates Clarke, or does he? Clarke still loves him and then she meets Echo. Is Jackson right about Bellamy?


	10. Reunited

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, I'm not completely happy with it, but I couldn't postpone it any longer.

“You have arrived at your destination.” The GPS sounded.

Madi unbuckled her seatbelt. She fitted her gloves and coat, secured her beanie and was out of the car before Clarke even switched off the engine. Clarke took a moment to admire the house. It was completely Octavia, as far as possible from the city, a big yard, well as big as possible obviously. Clarke was sure if Octavia could she would live on a farm with lots of horses. The house itself was simple, a dark greyish color, the windows, doors and other objects softened with some white. It was fairly rectangular shaped, almost like it was built from a picture out of a children’s book, with a big deck in the front. Clarke suddenly felt nervous, she had been looking forward to this moment for more than a week now, but now that she was sitting here, memories flooded her brain, she felt a small knob starting at the back of her throat.

Madi was already making her way towards the front door. “Clarke, come on, what are you waiting for?”

The front door swung open, Lincoln appeared in the doorway. Octavia appeared next to him a moment later. “Yes Clarke what are you waiting for?” Her eyes moved over Madi. “Well, you must be the infamous Madi?”

Madi nodded. “I have been looking so forward to meeting you.”

Octavia smiled. “Oh really, why would that be?”

Madi’s voice seemed a bit embarrassed. “Clarke told me a lot about you, I kind of got the feeling that you are a lot like my mom.”

“Oh really, well then your mother must have been one kick-ass woman.” Octavia mocked.

“She was.” Madi admitted a little softer.

Clarke was walking to the front door as she watched the exchange between two of her favorite people, it warmed her heart a little. Octavia was a lot like Lexa in certain ways, maybe that is why she and Lexa became such good friends so quickly.

“Clarke Griffin, you have no idea how much I have missed you.” Octavia walked towards her and hugged her so tight she nearly suffocated.

“You have definitely gotten stronger since the last time you hugged me.” Clarke’s voice came out a little strangled.

“I’ve missed you too. I really have, it is so good to see you.” Clarke hugged her again a little lighter.

Lincoln appeared at her side and hugged her too. “Oh I’m so glad you’re here, Octavia haven’t been able to contain her excitement ever since you called.”

“Neither could we.” Madi chimed in.

“Well come on let’s get you settled in.” Lincoln gestured with his hands between the car and the house.

Lincoln and Octavia helped them to get all of their luggage out of the car. They walked them to their room. The guest room was small, not a matchbox, but the room won’t fit a lot more than the queen sized bed, with 2 side tables and a small dresser. It was all they needed for their one week stay. It felt very much homey. The walls were plain white, but the sheets were grey with black and white patterns. There was a red throw at the end of the bed and a lots of throw pillows. _Definitely Octavia._ Clarke thought. There were some paintings and inspirational quote vinyl’s contrasting the white of the walls. A few candles and red flowers decorated the surfaces.

They put their luggage down and Octavia took them on a tour of the rest of the house. There were three bedrooms, the main bedroom was a lot bigger than the other two with a beautiful en-suite bathroom, which seemed almost like something out of the wilderness. The other, a very plain, teal colored bathroom, was across the hall from their room. The third bedroom was made into a study. The kitchen was basic with wooden cupboards, which revealed the age of the house, but the metallic double door fridge, dishwasher and other appliances gave it some modern character. There was a big dining room next to the kitchen with a beautiful, long, glass dining room table and 8 black chairs tucked in neatly. The dining room and the living room were adjoined, a suede black leather corner suite on the one side and two big chairs on the other side of the big flat screen on the wall. On the opposite side of the room a fire was crackling in the fireplace, fighting the cold winter temperature. And of course Octavia and Lincoln’s home will not be complete without a gym. The room seemed to have been a porch previously that had now been closed off and converted into a gym or karate or whatever studio.

“This house is exactly you guys, I absolutely love it.” Clarke told them.

“Thanks Clarke. Listen we’ll have to catch up while we prepare, because everyone will be here soon.” Octavia led them back to the kitchen.

“So you cook now?” Clarke was curious.

“O hell no, Lincoln made the meat pies, Bell is making a turkey, again. Everyone else is bringing a dish. I’ve still got a few decorations to hang up and I have to set the table.” She looked to Madi. “Are you any good with Christmas decorations?”

Madi beamed. “I sure am. We actually decorated our apartment when we thought you guys were coming to us.”

Octavia handed her a box. “Well then the living room is al yours.”

“Oh ok thanks, you won’t be sorry.”

“You better hope not.” Octavia half joked, giving Madi a serious look.

Madi nodded and started with her decorations.

“Okay Griffin you’re with me.” Octavia dragged her to the other box of decorations on the dining room table. “So, how are you?”

“I’m good. How are you?”

“Don’t lie to me Clarke, how are you really?” Octavia started setting plates down, she handed the cutlery to Clarke.

Clarke placed the cutlery in their respective places. “I’m coping but it’s difficult sometimes. The hospital, dinner, cleaning, PTA meetings, homework. Don’t get me wrong I love raising Madi, but being a single parent is hard. I miss Lexa, I miss you guys. I’m… well… lonely.”

“Oh honey of course you are. I was really very glad when you called, I’ve really been worried about you since Lexa died. So I take it you haven’t met anyone else as yet?” Octavia looked up at Clarke.

“Oh hell no, no time to even think about that, but enough about me, how are you?”

“Well I’m really good, I can’t complain, but I don’t want to even tell you, because it is so unfair that you’ve been dealt such a shitty hand.”

Clarke gave Octavia an unamused look. “Really, you don’t think I would be happy to hear that you’re doing well?”

Octavia half-smiled. They continued setting and decorating the table and the dining room in a comfortable silence. The room was fluently Christmas when they were done. Octavia kept glancing at Madi, probably to ensure the living room decorations were up to her standards. “Wow, you definitely didn’t lie about being a good decorator.”

“I told you you could trust me.” Madi said smug.

“Madz I think we should go take a shower and get dressed, the others are gonna start showing up at any moment now.” She faced Octavia. “You don’t mind do you?”

Octavia waved them off. “Go on get ready.”

After showering Clarke and Madi both got dressed in red cocktail dresses as part of Octavia’s theme. Clarke added a little make up and went back to the living room to find Octavia. “Hey, I got your text about the secret Santa, but that was after Madi and I had already bought gifts for everyone, it was more of a thank you gift for you guys coming to visit us, but that obviously didn’t happen. Should I just keep them as birthday gifts, or would it be okay to give them for Christmas?” Clarke asked a little self-conscious.

“You bought all of us a gift? That is so sweet Clarke, it must have cost a fortune. Well I definitely won’t mind getting two.” Octavia smirked.

There was a knock at the door. Lincoln left his duties in the kitchen to open. “Hi guys, it’s good to see you, what brings you around to our humble abode?” Lincoln teased. 

Raven gave him a quick hug hello, squeezed right past him and almost ran inside to hug Clarke. “Oh it is so good to see you, you look well, a little thinner than I remember, but still good.”

Clarke noticed the bump on her belly. “Raven Reyes are you pregnant?”

Raven smiled a wide smile. “16 weeks, baby is healthy and strong. Me not so much, but I guess that’s part of pregnancy.” She rubbed her hand over her belly and then shot a look to Clarke.

Clarke just smiled a little. “So you and Murphy are actually in love, it wasn’t just a practical joke like I secretly hoped when you told me?”

Murphy chose that exact moment to appear next to her. “Sorry Griffin I know you’ve always secretly wanted a piece of this,” He motioned towards his body. “but I am officially off the market.” He kissed Raven on the cheek and rubbed her belly as well. He then wrapped Clarke up in a tight hug. “I’m glad you’re home. You doin’ ok?”

Clarke released herself and nodded, and a tear slid down her cheek. Octavia handed her a tissue to wipe them away. Madi finally appeared from the bedroom after unnecessarily faffing with her appearance. “Guys, this is Madi, Madi this is Raven and Murphy.”

Madi shook Raven’s hand. “It’s so good to finally meet you.”

“Oh yes you too, when I do speak to Clarke, once in a million years, she cannot stop raving about you.” This made Madi blush.

Murphy offered her a fist bump which she rolled her eyes at but returned anyway.

Monty and Harper made their appearance next, Harper hugged Clarke a little reluctantly. “Hi, how have you been?”

Clarke was a little worried by the lack of enthusiasm from Harper, which was clearly due to the way she left things. Clarke tried to reach out to Harper once or twice over the years, and although Harper responded, it wasn’t with the same eagerness as Raven and Octavia or even Murphy. Clarke considered her relationship with Harper quite close before she left, but Harper had always been Bellamy’s friend and colleague. It was weird that Bellamy suggested Harper and Monty came to visit her when it was clear that Harper didn’t consider her a friend anymore. “I’ve been good thanks, how about you?”

“Good.” Harper nodded politely.

Monty hugged her tightly, he obviously didn’t share his girlfriend’s hostility towards her, but Monty had been her friend, they met in one of the classes they shared in college and hit it off immediately. “I have to be honest I thought we were never going to see you again. That our relationship was quickly becoming Facebook friend’s status. I’m glad you’re here, I have been so excited to see you.” He hugged her again.

“To be considered a Facebook friend you have to actually have an active Facebook account.” Jasper added as he joined them with short, pale wild dark-haired girl. She was pretty, but she seemed a little shy by the way she clung to Jasper and almost hid behind him. “Clarke, this is Maya, which you would have known if you had an active social media account.”

Madi spoke up. “Oh Clarke says she’s way too busy to bother with social media, she says if she wants to connect with someone she can call or text them.”

Clarke ignored her. “It’s nice to meet you Maya.” She stuck out her hand and Maya shook it gently.

“Yes you too. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Clarke gave Jasper a half annoyed look. “I unfortunately can’t say the same.”

“If you made half an attempt to stay connected via social media, you would have known all about her.” Jasper challenged.

Clarke looked down at her feet like she just got caught stealing sugar.  “I’m sorry Jas, you’re right. I could have at least made an effort to check in on Instagram every once in a while. The truth is I tried to be a ghost. I wanted you guys to move on with your lives without me. I was wrong, I made a mistake. It was easy to pretend I didn’t miss you when Lexa was still alive, but for the past year I’ve realized how much you really are a part of me and I’m hoping we can work on it, I would really like to fix things, that’s why I invited all of you.”

Jasper seemed unaffected by her little speech. “Yeah you say that now, but next week you go back and then you forget all about us once again. The only two people you do keep in contact with is Octavia and Raven and even then it’s an e-mail once every couple of months.”

A wide grin appeared on Madi’s face. “We’re not going back to Chicago, we’re moving here.”

Everybody looked at Clarke in shock. Before she got a chance to explain Miller entered the room. He ran towards her and spun her around. Clarke was a little confused, Miller and Murphy were Bellamy’s best friends but they both seemed happy to see her. The words came out before she could think about it. “You’re not mad at me?”

“Should I be?” He seemed confused.

“For leaving I mean?”

“Oh. Well I guess I was for a little while, but I soon came to realize that maybe you leaving was a good thing. I’m really sorry about your girlfriend. Are you coping?”

Clarke smile’s was soft. “Yes I mean it’s still hard sometimes, but Madi and I are making it work.” She turned to face everyone. “Which is actually the reason we decided to move here. Chicago is full of memories of her and although we have friends there, those friends aren’t our family.”

The next voice that spoke gave her goosebumps, that deep, almost dark voice that had been a part of her for so long that she had tried to shake many times without much luck. “You’re moving back?”

Clarke turned her head towards him, His hair was much longer, he had a beard, there were some wrinkles on his forehead and a streak of silver in his hair, he wasn’t _her_ Bellamy anymore, but he was still like a magnet pulling her closer.  Lexa was right, she never stopped loving him one bit and she never would. She quickly had to restrain herself from leaping forward and throwing herself into his arms, it was like the moment she saw him that fire that burnt inside her was fueled. She had known she needed him and she still loved him for quite some time now, she only brought herself to admit them after Lexa had died, but now he was here standing right in front of her and she was home. The smile on her face spread from ear to ear involuntarily. She tried to regain her composure. “Yes we are.”

Bellamy definitely wasn’t pleased about her confession. “This isn’t your home anymore, you should go back to Chicago next week.” He paused. “Maybe you shouldn’t have come here at all.”

Octavia gave him a dirty look. “Bellamy, this is my house and Clarke is more than welcome here.”

Madi shot Clarke a worried look. Clarke waved her off subtly. She realized suddenly why he conveniently couldn’t find a backup team, why he had cancelled, she knew deep down he would feel this way, although she had hoped that maybe he had gotten over everything she did. _Obviously not, you left him after three years without so much as an apology_. She thought to herself. She didn’t know what to expect from their first encounter, she didn’t know what she expected from him at all, but she wasn’t prepared for this resentment, although she probably deserved it. “It’s ok Octavia, I probably deserved that.” She looked at Bellamy. “I guess you and I have a lot to discuss, we can talk about it later though. Can we for now please just be civil?” She pleaded with him.

A beautiful, long legged brunette, with a full lips and a body like a supermodel appeared next to him, wrapped her arms around him and rubbed his back supportively. Clarke felt like she was punched in the stomach and all the wind was knocked out of her. Madi gave her a side hug, knowing exactly how the image in front of her was making her feel.

Jackson was the last to enter the room and Clarke was grateful for the distraction. “Clarke Griffin, it’s so good to see you again. Have you seen your mom yet? She has been ecstatic ever since you called.”

“No I haven’t, we’re having lunch with them tomorrow. I’ve missed her a lot too. I’m really glad we decided to come here instead so we can visit them as well.” Her horror was quickly replaced by excitement. She turned to face everyone in the room. “Guys for those of you that haven’t met her, this is Lexa’s, and well my daughter, Madi.”

Everyone came over to introduce themselves with a lot of enthusiasm, which Madi obviously loved. She had been looking forward to this for weeks now. Octavia walked towards the kitchen and gestured for Clarke to follow her. She took out two bottles of wine from the fridge and searched for her bottle opener. “I’m sorry about Bell.”

“No it’s fine I guess I deserved it.”

“Clarke, you really didn’t, what happened, yes maybe you made a mistake, but you tried to fix it and, well you know.”

“If only he knew, I went about it all wrong. Anyway it’s in the past. Why didn’t you tell me he had a girlfriend?”

Octavia shrugged her shoulders, her tone very casual. “Oh I guess it just didn’t come up.”

Clarke obviously didn’t believe her. “Really? It just didn’t come up?”

“Fine, I was scared if I told you, you would think it would be weird and you would cancel.”

She nodded, she couldn’t blame her. “How long have they been together?”

“Probably about a year now. She’s his partner on the force. They’ve been partners for over two years already. Listen we should talk about this later. I’ve got to get everyone something to drink.” Octavia returned to the living room and Clarke followed her.

As soon as they returned Murphy was still being a sarcastic asshole as always. “So Griffin I hear you have a sketch of Blake in your entrance hall right below the one of you, Hobbit and her mother.”

Clarke turned completely red, she glared at Madi suddenly furious.

“Sorry Clarke they wanted to know how I knew exactly what Bellamy looked like.” Madi tried to apologize.

Everyone was looking at her in anticipation. “It’s an old sketch, but it was too good to let it lie and gather dust somewhere, so I hung it. I thought about selling it, but it didn’t feel right selling it without your permission.” She said looking at Bellamy, he didn’t answer. Just walked away. Clarke saw it when she looked at him, that same hurt in his eyes, that same dumbfounded expression. He hated her. “Octavia, the wine.”

Octavia quickly started filling the glasses “Uh, oh yes. Raven, Madi, what would you guys like to drink, I have some orange juice, bottled water and there might be some Diet Coke left?”

“Can I have some orange juice, please?” Madi asked.

“Just some water for me thanks.” Raven said and Octavia nodded before heading back to the kitchen. Lincoln followed her.

Everyone sat down, the atmosphere quite cold. The microwave could be heard over the silence at the table. This was the last thing that Clarke wanted. She just wanted everything to be okay again. She wanted her family back after the loneliness she had been feeling, Lexa would have known what to do, how to get things back to the way they were. She was very smart in that sense, analyzing situations and solving problems, almost like she had people in her head feeding her information, Madi had those same traits, but Madi was still a child and she sometimes she did childish things like just now.

Octavia and Lincoln appeared with the other drinks and dishes in their hands. “I hope you guys are hungry, because this is a lot of food.” Lincoln remarked.

Everybody dished up and started eating in silence. Monty decided to address the elephant in the room. “Come on Guys, this is Christmas, we all know Clarke, we all love Clarke, if we didn’t her absence wouldn’t have hurt as much as it did. She made mistakes, yes, but so have all of us. So we can both move on and forget about it, or we can spoil a perfectly good Christmas dinner.”

Harper gave him a small side hug and a kiss on the cheek. “He’s right Clarke, there’s no need in punishing you for something that happened a long time ago, we do still love you, I’m sure you had your reasons, and good things came from what you did as well.” She said looking at Bellamy’s girlfriend.

Everyone agreed with her and the chatter eventually started picking up. Everyone except for Bellamy, he seemed just as cold and quiet as before. Clarke decided she would just have to live with it for now. Slowly but surely he might start coming around and accepting her presence. When everyone was done eating Clarke volunteered to clean up and to her complete surprise Bellamy’s girlfriend offered to help her.

She gathered all the dishes and took them to the kitchen, she placed it in the sink to rinse them before packing them in the dishwasher. “We didn’t get a chance to meet earlier, I’m Echo.” The girl told her.

“Yes sorry about that, I’m Clarke.” Neither of them offered their hands, because Clarke’s hands were already wet.

“Oh that’s okay. You can rinse, I’ll pack.” Clarke nodded. They started their chain in an uncomfortable silence.

“Why did you offer to help me?” Clarke tried to break the silence.

“I was just trying to be polite I guess. Why do you ask?”

“Just thought that maybe you would want to avoid me like Bellamy clearly is.”

“Oh you caught that huh?”

“Well, he can’t be more obvious.”

“I don’t know what happened between the two of you or why, but I don’t think he’s forgiven you. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but I don’t think it’s going to happen any time soon. But you’ve done me no wrong, so no reason for me to be antagonistic towards you at all.”

Clarke didn’t say anything to that at all, they continued their rhythm in a slightly more comfortable silence when all of a sudden Octavia’s voice boomed through the house. “Gifts time!”

They wiped the counters and made sure everything was in order before heading back to the living room. When everyone had a seat and the excitement quieted down Octavia spoke. “Clarke got ahead of herself and went Christmas shopping before I told her about the Secret Santa, so some of us will be getting two gifts tonight.” Everyone cheered. “Madi, will you do the honors of handing out the gifts?”

Madi didn’t have to be asked twice, she jumped up and almost ran to the Christmas tree. She picked up the gifts, read the names and handed them to their respective owners. The atmosphere was exhilarating. Loud Aaaah’s and Ooooh’s and the sound of paper being torn. Clarke received her gift, it was wrapped in a big rectangular box, she removed the ribbon around it, and opened the lid. Staring back at her was framed collage of her entire life. Baby photos, school photos, some of her with her mom and dad, photos from College and Med school, Dropship nights, one of her and Bellamy posing goofily, a selfie of her, Octavia and Raven when they had just moved into their apartment, graduation photos and even photos of her with Lexa and Madi, which her Secret Santa must have gotten from her mom’s or Madi’s Instagram. She was shook at how thoughtful this gift was. “Guys, who was this, this is amazing?”

Nobody claimed ownership. “Well whoever it was, thank you so much, this is perfect.”

Madi sat down next to her to inspect it. “Wow, this is so awesome.”

“Yeah it is. Well your turn, go on open it.” Clarke said gesturing towards the envelope in Madi’s hands.

Madi tore it, careful not to tear the contents inside as well. “Epic, Taylor Swift tickets. How did they know, Clarke you had something to do with this.”

“I may have told Santa you love Taylor Swift.”

“Thanks Santa, whoever you are.” Madi said waving the tickets in the air.

“Okay guys, time for desert and charades.” Jasper shouted to get everyone’s attention.

Bellamy got up from his seat. “I think we’re gonna head out, O.” He told his sister.

Octavia wouldn’t have any of it. “Oh hell no, you are not leaving before charades.”

He tried to say something, but Octavia cut him off. “No Big Brother, Charades is a tradition, two rounds is all I ask?”

“Fine, two rounds, that’s it.” He started gathering some of the wrapping paper that were strewn all over the floor.

Lincoln left to dish up some pie for everyone. He was still the quiet and reserved guy that Clarke remembered, and he was still the amazing guy that absolutely adored Octavia. She suddenly wondered why they weren’t engaged yet. She made a mental note to ask her about it later.

“Should we just do couples?” Miller asked.

“No let’s spice things up a bit and draw names. All the girls throw their names into the hat and all the guys draw.” Jasper suggested.

Octavia got up to fetch some paper, a pen and the cards. She wrote all the girl’s names down and through them into a bowl, she shuffled them a bit and held the bowl out for Jasper to draw first. “Raven, sweet! It’s you and me Reyes.” He winked at her.

Murphy was next. “Hey Hobbit, you’re with me.” Madi rolled her eyes at him again, but Clarke knew she secretly loved the nickname.

Murphy handed the bowl to Monty. “Octavia.” He sighed. “Please don’t bite my head off if I get something wrong.”

“I’m not that bad.” She mocked being offended. Everyone else disagreed with her, Clarke included.

It was Bellamy’s turn to draw. He opened the name, the expression on his face said it all. Clarke knew he drew her name. Of fucking course he did, the universe had been way too good to her over the last few days with the hotel room and the job in Arkadia. “Clarke.” He said her name like it physically pained him. She just tried her best to ignore him, she knew this was going to be a disaster.

Miller drew Harper, Jackson got Maya so obviously Lincoln was paired with Echo which he didn’t look too pleased about either.

Raven and Jasper went first, Raven got it quickly, not that adding the angel to the tree was a difficult one. Murphy and Madi had a bit of trouble, probably because it was Madi’s first time playing the game. If Murphy was upset that Madi wasn’t able to guess correctly, he didn’t show it, he just teased her to no avail. Octavia once again started scolding Monty when she didn’t understand what he was trying to explain.

Clarke’s heart was pounding, she wasn’t ready for this. Bellamy got up. He took a card, read it, placed it back at the end of the deck and walked to the front. He didn’t look at her, instead he looked straight ahead and just started his charade. He pretended to open a bag, take gifts from under the tree and place it inside. Clarke immediately knew what he was getting at. “How the Grinch stole Christmas.” He nodded, not looking at her at all and returned to his seat. _Well it could have gone a lot worse._ She thought.

Miller and Harper’s experience as a team was very clear, even though they weren’t partners, they understood each other well, because Harper got “A Christmas Carol” effortlessly. The other two pairs unfortunately weren’t as good at non-verbal communication and didn’t manage to get theirs at all.

The second round went quite similar to the first one and when it was Clarke’s turn to explain, her nerves shot up again. She did exactly what Bellamy did and just looked at the crowd and not at him. She made a little ball shape over her nose. “Rudolf the red nose reindeer.” Bellamy stated unenthusiastically.

“Mmm-hmm” She answered and sat down, she really hoped this torture was now over, because Bellamy told Octavia they would only stay for two rounds. When the others were done Bellamy couldn’t get out of there quickly enough.

He shot to his feet. “Okay guys, it’s been great, but it’s time for us to get going.”

“Can I get you your walking stick, old Man?” Murphy mocked him, but Bellamy didn’t even respond.

He motioned for his girlfriend, Miller and Jackson to follow him. “Thanks for a lovely evening everyone and the gifts, whoever my Secret Santa was, thanks Clarke and Madi for the other gift.” He then held his hand up for Madi to hi-five. “It was good meeting you kid. Take care of her.” Madi hi-fived him and nodded smiling. He thanked his sister and Lincoln and greeted her with a kiss on the cheek.

Clarke felt her heart warming inside. _Take care of her._ That was a complete one-eighty from his behavior towards her the whole night, somewhere deep inside he still cared, even if it was just a very tiny piece of him. She could live with that. Miller, Jackson and Echo thanked and greeted them as well and they were off. Raven proclaimed that she was getting tired too, so she got up and dragged Murphy to his feet. She hugged Clarke tightly and whispered. “It really is so good to see you again. New Year’s Eve, The Dropship, no excuses, I can’t drink, but I sure as hell can dance.” The rest of the gang started to leave after them until eventually it was just the four of them left.

Octavia made them some hot chocolate. “Thanks Octavia, this was awesome. I wish mom could have been here, she would have loved everyone.” Madi said taking her cup from Octavia.

“Yeah, and they would have loved her too.” Clarke agreed.

Madi finished her hot chocolate and yawned. “Ok well, I’m off to bed.”

Clarke kissed her cheek. “Night Kiddo, Sleep tight.”

“Night Madi, there are extra blankets in the closet if you’re cold.” Octavia told her.

“Thanks, Night Everyone.”

“Night Madi, I think I’ll join you and let the girls catch up on their gossip.” Lincoln kissed Octavia goodnight and left with Madi.

When Octavia was sure they were gone, she didn’t hesitate. “So what do you think of Echo?”

“I don’t know, I barely spoke two words to her, but she seems nice.”

A wrinkle appeared on her forehead. “I don’t trust her.

Clarke was little shocked, it really seemed like Octavia liked her. “What? Why?”

“She’s just too perfect.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well for one can you imagine dating _and_ working with Bell and never fighting with him?”

Clarke shook her head. “No, you can’t be serious, you probably just don’t know about it. I mean the only reason you knew about the arguments we had was because I told you.”

She seemed to process this for a moment. “Yes ok, but I’ve asked Miller, Jackson and Harper about it, and they all say the same thing. That they are just so perfect together they never fight. The other thing, she is always working late, or rather later than the rest of them, because apparently she can’t leave the facts of a case alone once she has started, but why?”

Clarke sighed. “Octavia are you sure you’re not reading a little too much into this?”

She narrowed her eyes at Clarke. “I honestly thought that you would be on my side with this. Everybody else loves her. She and Harper are extremely close because they work together, but lately she and Raven are BFF’s too, and the guys, don’t even get me started.”

“Are you sure you’re not just maybe jealous of her?” Clarke smirked.

That seemed to piss Octavia off a little. “I have nothing to be jealous of Clarke, I don’t trust her. Whenever I’m around her I get the feeling she’s hiding something.”

“Okay fine, I take it you’ve done some digging?” She tried to understand where her friend was coming from.

“Yes, but everything I found on her checks out. Her parents died when she was young. She was taken in by a distant family member, Nia Queen,”

Clarke choked almost spitting out her hot chocolate. “ _The_ Nia Queen, like the owner of the massive food corporation?”

“Yup, that’s the one, anyway they apparently didn’t treat her very well, so she left after graduating high school and became a cop. She doesn’t have any contact with them anymore except for Roan, Nia’s son.”

Clarke placed her cup down and got a little more comfortable. “No offence, but it doesn’t really seem like there is any real reason to mistrust her. Completely off the topic now, why are you and Lincoln not yet engaged? I mean you guys have been together forever and you are perfect for each other.”

This seemed to brighten Octavia’s mood a little. “Well, we’ve talked about it, but I think the time has just never been right, College, Law School, new career, the house, the studio, but I think the time is right now. It’s all of that and I think Lincoln is scared shitless of what Bellamy might have to say.”

Both girls snorted at that and then Clarke added. “Can’t say I blame him. Bellamy can be intense, especially when it comes to you.”  She stood slowly. “Thanks for everything, this has been amazing, but I think I’m going to bed now.”

Octavia nodded. “Night Clarke.”

“Night.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Bellamy woke like a kid on Christmas morning after a rather restless sleep. Clarke’s decision to move back to Arkadia threw him for a loop. He wasn’t sure how to handle it, seeing her again was not easy, it was almost as if his heart broke all over again. When he saw her he was right back there in her apartment where she had turned him down and he felt just as small and unworthy as he had in that moment. Now he was going to have to see her regularly, but he wasn’t going to dwell on that now, he had other things to focus on.

He put his arms around Echo and started kissing down her neck. “Morning Beautiful. Merry Christmas”

“Mmmm” She moaned still half asleep.

“You want some coffee?”

“Mmmm, sounds good.” She turned around and kissed him.

He went to the kitchen, put on a pot of coffee and started with breakfast. Suddenly her arms wrapped around him from behind. “Hey, you’re supposed to be in bed.” He said kissing the back of her hand.

“Oh well that’s not a problem, I can go back to bed. I just came to say Merry Christmas.” She held him tight for a moment and then left again.

He made French toast with syrup, tried to arrange it as prettily as possible, he was obviously not as trained as those chefs on TV, but he tried. He placed her plate, her coffee, a rose and her gift on the tray and took it back to their bedroom.

She smiled from ear to ear when he entered. “Well this looks amazing. Thanks Babe. So what first? The gift or the breakfast?”

“Whatever the hell you want.” He joked.

“Aren’t you going to eat anything?”

“Oh I ate while I was cooking, so I’m fine. Go ahead.” He gestured towards her food and lay down facing her propped up on one elbow.

After she ate she smelled her rose and kissed him. “You are the best you know that?”

“So I’ve been told.” He boasted.

She picked up her gift. “Can I open this now?”

“Go ahead.”

She stuck her hand in the bag and retrieved the little navy suede box. Her eyes were as wide as saucers. “Bellamy is this?” She opened it, inside was a petite slightly tapered ring with a classic single round-cut diamond delicately situated on four prongs. She looked up at him, he had a big smirk on his face. “Is this what I think it is?”

He nodded taking the ring out of the box, he held it out to her. “Yes absolutely. Echo Azgeda will you marry me?”

She nearly jumped on top of him. “Yes, yes! Of course, yes, O, wow, I don’t even know what to say.” She kissed him deeply and passionately. “Oh I love you so much.”

He gently slipped the ring onto her left ring finger. “Well I love you too. And guess what, we’re getting married. Merry Christmas.”

“Yes I know. It feels so surreal. Now your gift feels so silly in comparison.” She scrunched up her face, slightly embarrassed.

“Speaking of, where is it?”

She left quickly and fetched his gift from under the tree in the living room. “Here you go, but I have to warn you it’s not nearly as special as mine.”

He unwrapped it and was very surprised by what she had gotten him. It was a battle of Troy Chess set. “Wow Babe, this is so cool, where did you find it?”

“I had to search online for hours to find cool gifts for history nerds.”

“Well it paid off, this is great, thanks, I’m gonna kick your ass though.”

She seemed so happy in that moment, she didn’t care how many times he kicked her ass. “Well we’ve got forever to play, you never know, I might get good at it.”

He looked up at her, touching her cheek. “I don’t wanna wait, I wanna get married as soon as possible. I don’t want to be one of those couples that are engaged for years before they settle on a date.”

“Mkay, how does March or April sound?”

“Yeah, sounds perfect.” Then he kissed her again.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Clarke couldn’t wait to see her mother and stepfather and Madi seemed to be out of her skin as well. Clarke’s parents treated Madi as an actual grandchild, which meant spoiling her rotten. When they got there her mom was already waiting for them outside. Clarke basically ran to her and enveloped her in a bone crushing hug. “Mom, Oh I’ve missed you so damn much. Merry Christmas!”

“Oh honey you too, but I think you’re breaking me.” She wheezed.

She let go of her mother a little. “Sorry, I’m just so glad to be home.”

“Oh I know honey, I’m so glad to have you. And you Madi, come here” She turned to Madi and held out her arms.

Madi hugged her as well. “Hi Aunt Abby, it’s really good to see you again.”

They went inside and the smell of Christmas cookies in the oven greeted them. “Wow mom, did you bake cookies?” Clarke asked skeptically, Abby was never the domestic mother, after her father passed away, they had always had a butler, and he was basically like part of the family.”

“Oh no honey, Marcus’ mother is here for the holidays, she’s making your favorite, even though it’s not traditional Christmas lunch, she insisted.”

Clarke looked down for a second, although she appreciated the gesture from Vera, nobody could make it like her father and Bellamy, it just never tasted the same. Then Vera and Marcus appeared in the entrance hall and greeted both of them enthusiastically. “Vera it smells really good in here, can we help you with anything?” Clarke asked Vera.

“Oh thanks honey, but you guys sit down and catch up, lunch will be ready shortly.”

They all took a seat at the dining room table that was already set and Marcus poured all of them a glass of wine and apple juice for Madi before returning to the kitchen to help his mother.

“So how was your night with all your friends?” Abby asked her.

Clarke took a sip of her wine. “A little uncomfortable at first, some of them were still very upset with me, but Monty saved the day and got everyone to just put it all in the past at least for the night.”

Her mom didn’t seem satisfied with her answer. “And Bellamy? Any chance the two of you…”

Clarke interrupted her. “Mom, it’s over, it has been for a long time.” Her mom had never given up on having him as her son-in-law, when she was with Lexa her mother respected and accepted their relationship, but Clarke knew that both she and Marcus would always be team Bellamy Blake.

Madi clarified for her with a lot of sympathy. “He has another girlfriend now and he didn’t even look at Clarke, just ignored her the whole night.”

“Well is it serious?” Abby was curious.

Clarke got a little annoyed. “Yes mom they’ve been together for a year, they’re partners on the force, she gets him in a way I never could. It’s over okay, just let it go, you’re almost worse than Madi and she is twelve.” It didn’t matter how much it hurt her, he had moved on and she had to accept that and just do the same, although she knew after that conversation she had with Lexa the possibility of that ever happening was very small, but that was ok too, she had her friends and her family and Madi now.

Madi gave her a look like she was a little offended by Clarke’s statement, but Clarke just ignored her.

Abby put her hand on Clarke’s. “I’m sorry honey, I didn’t mean to upset you, I just want to see you happy again. Since Lexa well, every time I talk to you, you just seem so sad.”

“I know mom, I’m sorry. Well I’m not going to be sad anymore because Madi and I are moving here. Can we stay with you guys until we figure everything out?”

This came as a bolt out of the blue to her mother. “What? When did this happen? You know you are welcome to stay here for as long as you need, there is more than enough room.”

Madi was glad to explain once again. “Well we decided a few days ago that we both felt empty in Chicago, so Clarke applied for a residency position here and she’s got an interview tomorrow morning.”

Marcus and Vera appeared from the kitchen with casseroles in their hands. “Lunch is served.” Vera said smiling. They thanked them as they took their seats.

“Bon Appetite.” Marcus motioned for everyone to dig in.

Abby looked to Marcus. “The girls are moving home.”

He almost dropped the spoon he was using to dish up the salad. “Permanently?” He asked looking at Clarke.

“Well yes if my interview tomorrow goes well.”

“Oh well then that’s a definite yes. This is fantastic news. The best Christmas present you could ever give us.” He held out his glass to signal a toast. “To Clarke and Madi coming home.” Everyone lifted their glasses and toasted with him. From there on out the conversation was easy and laughter was on full blast.

Clarke wiped her mouth with her napkin. “Thank you Vera this was lovely I don’t think I’m going to fit into my clothes anymore.”

“Oh honey it is only a pleasure, it’s not every day we get to all be together as a family. And anyway you are way too thin lately, you could do with an extra pound or two.”

Clarke just smiled and looked to her mother. “Mom, do you have plans New Year’s Eve?”

Abby put her knife and fork down. “Uhm yes we have a fundraiser to attend. Why?”

She shrugged. “Oh, I was hoping you could look after Madi, because the whole gang is going to a party at the Dropship and Madi can’t go with.”

“She can stay with me.” Vera chimed in. “What do you say Madi? If you don’t mind spending New Year’s Eve with an old lady.”

Madi giggled. “I don’t mind, I can teach you about the Kardashian’s, and you can teach me to cook, because if that’s left up to Clarke, I’ll only be able to make scrambled eggs.”

Everyone at the table laughed. “It’s settled then Madi, girl’s night you and me.” Vera added.

“Thanks Vera.” Clarke looked at her, she could tell that Vera was extremely excited about it, she didn’t have any grandchildren of her own, so she was like a grandmother to her and now to Madi as well.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Clarke hadn’t gone out to a party in a long time, she was clueless on what to wear. Nothing that she packed seemed to be good enough. She felt like tonight she was going to go out and hook up with someone, she had never done that before, but there was always a first for everything, she hadn’t been with anyone since Lexa and she seriously craved some human intimacy and a good orgasm. Since she rocked the interview and got the job on Tuesday, she felt like really celebrating and tonight would be that night.

She hit the mall with Madi and Octavia and after trying on countless outfits she finally settled on black leggings, a low cut silver shirt that had some fabric forming soft folds in the front, a leather jacket and high heel boots. She wasn’t sure how she was going to survive those high heels, she was use to wearing flat comfortable shoes at the hospital, but Octavia insisted it went with the rest of the look. They dropped Madi off at her mom’s and headed to Octavia’s to get ready.

Octavia went crazy with her hair and make-up, Clarke usually wore the bare minimum, but there was no arguing with this Blake. “You have to steal Bell back from little Miss Perfect.” Octavia winked at her in the mirror.

Clarke nearly fell off her seat. “Octavia, have you lost your mind? I may be a lot of things, but homewrecker is not one of them. Besides their engaged now, he loves her, he’s marrying her, I’m happy for him.” That was true, she was happy for him, this girl seemed perfect for him, better than she ever could have been. She still felt sorry for herself though. When Octavia told her the news of their engagement she almost threw up, but she had had her chance and she blew it, maybe that was another reason why she desperately wanted to be with someone tonight, to just forget about everything in her life for just a few moments.

Octavia sulked.  “I know, I know. I’m trying really hard to be too, but ugh every time I see her, I get this cold feeling going up my spine. Lincoln doesn’t like her either and my mom, jeez you should have seen Christmas lunch, my mom nearly choked when they announced their engagement. She tried her best to act normal and congratulate them, but I could tell inside she was screaming.”

Well this was news. “Your mom doesn’t like her?”

“Nope, she says nobody will ever be you, but she’s accepted it, I guess.”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “She sounds like my mother.”

Octavia chuckled. “Yeah well, for me it’s not about you at all. I seriously think there is something off about her. Anyway, Raven will be here to pick us up soon, Lincoln said he’ll meet us there after his shift if he gets off in time.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When they arrived the place was buzzing, it hadn’t changed much since Clarke had been there the last time. They had some drinks and hit the dancefloor, Clarke had forgotten how much fun it was to just let loose and sway to the music. She made sure to scope out the talent as well. There was a pretty blonde girl who kept looking at her, she smiled back to let her know that she was interested. After flirting across the floor for a while the girl walked over to her. “Hi, I’m Niylah.” Clarke couldn’t really make out what she was saying over the loud music. She motioned to her ear. “Niylah” The girl shouted into her ear.

“Clarke” She shouted back. The girl just nodded, placed her hands on Clarke’s hips and started dancing with her. Clarke felt free as she moved in rhythm with the beat, eventually about two songs in, Niylah leaned in and kissed her, it felt good, not the best kiss she had ever had, but it felt good, so she kissed her back. They danced and made out for a while when Clarke decided she needed another drink. “I’m getting a drink, what can I get you.” She yelled to her over the music.

“Just a beer, thanks!”

Clarke left for the bar, it was packed so she had to wait in line for a while when suddenly that very familiar low, gravelly voice was next to her. “Don’t waste her time, you’re just going to break her heart.” She turned her head and she was met by those beautiful brown eyes of his, she could get lost in them.

 “Excuse me?”

He motioned to the dancefloor. “The girl, I know her, she’s not even close to the royalty league, you’re going to break her heart.”

She smirked. “If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were jealous?”

He chuckled. “Don’t flatter yourself Clarke, I’m just trying to save the poor girl some heartache.”

“Not that it’s any of your business but I’m not looking for anything serious. I was just looking for a one-night thing.” She said proudly.

This got an actual laugh out of him. “You? A one night thing, yeah right. You only sleep with people you’re in love with, Miss Righteous, sorry Doctor Righteous.” His voice was full of malice.

She didn’t let him phase her, she tried to keep her cool. “Maybe I’ve changed.”

“Whatever Clarke, you’re still the exact same spoilt little Princess that gets everything she wants.”

That hurt, but she wasn’t about to let him know the effect his words had on her. “What’s your problem Bellamy?”

His mood suddenly changed from spiteful to angry. “You wanna know what my problem is? You left Clarke. Two and a half years ago, without as little as a goodbye, you barely kept in touch with anyone. Then you find a cushy life with a hot shot lawyer girlfriend.” He ran his hand through his hair. “When she died you got lonely and all of a sudden we’re good enough for you? I mean I could understand a small Christmas holiday, but now you’re moving back and you just want to be accepted with open arms, and you know what.” He paused. “I bet if she hadn’t died we never would have heard from you again.”

Tears were pooling in her eyes, it was so hard to comprehend that _he_ was saying this. It was clear that he wanted to hurt her, but two could play that game. “You didn’t seem all that phased by it, not one text, not one call Bellamy, you left without a question and just jumped right into bed with Gina didn’t you?” She spat.

He snorted. “You’re mad because I didn’t beg you to stay, I fucking let you go, I knew you deserved better, so I fucking let you go.” He almost shouted.

She couldn’t contain her tears any longer so she started for the door. When she got outside she just let it out. Octavia and Raven must have seen everything that went down, because they were next to her within seconds. “Oh honey, what did he say to you?” Octavia asked.

“It doesn’t matter, you guys should go back inside and ring in the New Year, I’m just gonna call an Uber.” She said sniffling.

“Oh no way, if you’re going home we’re going with you. Besides I’m not feeling all that well anyway.” Raven said as she led her towards the car.

 

 

Octavia brought a big tub of ice-cream and three spoons into the guest room and they all lay down on the bed. Raven stroked her hair. “So what did he say?”

“He told me that I’m a spoilt little princess, and the only reason I care about all of you guys is because Lexa had died, and if that hadn’t happened you never would have heard from me again.”

Octavia stared at her. “Clarke, why did you come back?”

“I already told you. Chicago didn’t feel like home anymore.”

Octavia looked skeptical. “Are you still in love with him?”

Well there was no point in denying it especially not to Octavia and Raven. “Yes”

Both girls gasped. “But Clarke what about Lexa?” Raven asked.

“You can love two people at the same time Raven, although Lexa was actually the one who called me out on it.”

“What do you mean?”

“It happened a week or so before her accident, she came into our room and I was drawing this stupid sketch of a guy and a girl sitting with their backs against the earth…”

_“Is that supposed to be you and him?” Lexa was curious._

_“Who?” Clarke really didn’t know who she was referring to._

_“The sketch, is it supposed to be you and Bellamy?”_

_Clarke was still confused. “What? No, I was just doodling.”_

_“Are you ever gonna love me the way you love him?” She seemed serious as she sat down on the bed, but her words were soft._

_“Lexa, where is this coming from all of a sudden?”_

_“It’s not all of a sudden Clarke, I’ve been waiting patiently, but my patience is starting to wear thin.” There was still no anger, only a little frustration._

_Clarke was getting a little pissed off, because she had never given her a reason to doubt her love. “I have no idea what you are talking about, I love_ u, _very much.”_

_“I know you do, but you think I don’t notice all the little things? The way you sometimes cry in the bath. You stalking his sister’s Instagram even though you hate social media. Your fingers lingering on his name when you scroll through your contacts. The way you stare at that sketch you have hidden away at the back of your closet."_

_Her cheeks flushed and she bowed her head in embarrassment. “He was a big part of my life, you can’t expect me to just forget.”_

_Lexa shook her head. “It’s more than that Clarke. You didn’t leave because you fell out of love, you left for a completely different reason. I mean hell, we met because you were bawling your eyes out over him in that Coffee Shop.” She got lost in thought for a second.  “I think you should go back home, face your skeletons, and get some closure, if you still want to come back, well we’ll be waiting, and if you decide to stay, I won’t hold it against you, and Madi can still visit you whenever she wants.”_

_Clarke fluttered her eyelids, not believing a word she had just heard. “What? Fine. If you need me to do that, I will, but just to give you peace of mind, it won’t change anything.”_

_She put her arms around Clarke’s neck. “You have no idea how much I hope that’s true.” Then she kissed her._

Tears were now streaming down Clarke’s face. “At the time, I really didn’t believe her, but when she died I was broken, and I had to be strong for Madi, and everything was turned upside down. I knew I needed _him_ , that’s when I hung his sketch, I spoke to him every night after Madi went to bed, just for my own sanity. I almost called him countless times, but I could never bring myself to actually do it.”

Both girls put their arms around her and sandwiched her in a hug. “Clarke I have always been curious, you said that Lexa was gay, not bi, then how did Madi happen.” Raven asked her.

Clarke smiled thinking back to the night they drank wine on Lexa’s couch and she asked her that exact same question. “She lost her parents at a very young age and she was in and out of foster homes for a while until Indra took her in and took care of her. She said that she knew she was attracted to women, but she was curious about men, in the same way straight people are sometimes curious about the same sex. One night in her senior year she went to a College party with Indra’s daughter Gaia, she got like really drunk, and she slept with a guy, she said it was the both the worst and the best night of her life, because the sex was horrible, but it got her Madi and it made her realize she was definitely gay.”

“How did she accomplish everything she had when she fell pregnant at 17?” Octavia wanted to know.

Clarke ran her hands through her hair, because that was what made her such an amazing woman. “She worked her ass off. Indra was furious when Lexa told her about the pregnancy, but eventually she cooled off. She got her a job as a secretary at the DA’s office after she graduated high school, so Lexa worked her way up to a paralegal and pleaded with them to help her with college and law school, which they did, because she was just as intimidating as you Octavia.”

Both Raven and Octavia laughed at that knowing how true it was. “So Clarke if you did come home, do you think you would’ve stayed or gone back?” Octavia asked her.

Clarke’s mind drifted back to seeing Bellamy again on Christmas Eve, the way she felt. “I would’ve stayed. When I saw him again I immediately knew Lexa was right, I don’t believe in all that soulmate crap, but hell, the way I’m drawn to him, the way I still feel about him, it’s like someone cast a spell on me, I love him unconditionally, I always will.”

Raven got serious. “No Clarke no, you can’t, he’s happy now, and you left remember, Echo is amazing and they love each other.”

Clarke nodded. “I know, knowing he’s happy is ok with me, I’ll never try to come between them, even if I never find that again, I have you guys and Madi, and that is all I need.” Another tear slipped down her cheek, because he would never be hers again, she would never feel his arms around her, or his lips on hers, he would never love her the way she loves him. Then Octavia gave her a look she couldn’t quite decipher.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love to hear your thoughts and theories.


	11. Wedding bells

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter, hope you enjoy!

Clarke stared at her empty apartment. She hadn’t lived here very long, and for a long time it hadn’t really felt like home, but ending a chapter of a book in your life was always a little gloomy. She had so many good memories with Madi and Lexa there, which are now all packed up in boxes, but Lexa is gone, she’s not coming back and it’s time to turn the page.

Indra came back inside. “Is that everything?”

“Yes, that’s all of it.” She turned around to face her. “So are you sure you don’t mind taking care of the sale?”

“No, it’s not a problem at all. I’ll send you all the paperwork to sign as soon as they find a buyer.”

“Thanks Indra. Don’t know what I would have done without you.”

“Only a pleasure. Lexa would be proud, thank you for taking such good care of Madi. And please keep in touch.”

“I will. I promise.” She hugged her, they both left and Clarke locked the door behind her.

After making sure everything was safe and secure in the moving truck she put her arm around Madi. “Well Kiddo this is it, were officially leaving Chicago.” Indra and Gaia drove them to the airport, Clarke kept staring out the window, as the familiar scenery flashed by her like a movie scene, there was a small knot of nerves pooling in her stomach, that same nerves she felt that night she got in her car and drove all the way here, the night she ran away, only now she wasn’t running away, she was going home.

When they got to the airport, both Indra and Gaia was a little reluctant to say goodbye, Gaia was very attached to Madi and they’re leaving had been a bit of a bitter pill for her to swallow, but she understood and accepted their reasons. “You can come and visit us any time and we’ll Skype you as often as we can.” Clarke told them.

“Take care of each other.” Indra hugged them both, then Gaia joined and it turned into one long group hug.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Bellamy and Echo stopped for a quick lunch at their coffee shop before heading to follow up on their next lead. Work had been crazy since the New Year and the cases for some reason just kept piling up, pretty soon they’ll have to add some new members to their team, there were one or two people he had his eyes on that seemed like they would fit.

“I know your plate is overloaded right now, but do you think you might have the time to go look at this beautiful little venue I found?” Echo seemed a little reluctant to bother him with non-work related matters.

“Echo,” He sang her name “the wedding stuff is important too. Don’t ever think I don’t care. I mean I’ll help as much as you want me to help.”

“Yes I know but we’re extremely busy right now, so our wedding seems so trivial.”

“It’s not trivial, it’s our _wedding_ day, it’s the biggest day of our life.” He really didn’t want her to put it on the backburner because life got in the way. “Set up an appointment with the venue, and babe, please don’t hesitate to ask me anything about it in the future.”

She just smiled a little half-heartedly. “You’re right we should make this a priority too.”

His phone rang. It was Octavia. “Hey O, what’s up?”

“Bellamy, you know I would not ask you this unless you are my absolute last resort, but I need a favor?”

Bellamy knew immediately why Octavia had called him. “Have you tried everyone else O?”

She seemed annoyed that he had to ask. “Yes Bellamy, Raven is in Boston, everyone else is either working or I can’t get hold of them.”

“What about her parents?”

“I called them first, her mom’s in surgery and I can’t get hold of Marcus. I even called mom before I called you, but she can’t get off work.”

“Can’t she just take an Uber?”

Now she seemed furious. “Fine Bellamy, be a dick, I’ll arrange for an Uber.”

Those words and tone made him feel really bad so he hesitantly agreed. “No it’s ok we can fetch them, what time?”

“Thank you. They arrive at 4pm, don’t be late. Bye” She said with an attitude and hung up.

He looked at his fiancé, he could tell she had already caught on to their whole conversation. “Sorry babe, let’s get the check, we still have to go check out that lead.”

“If you really need moral support I’ll go with you to the airport, but I kinda have some things I want to check up on at the station, if you don’t mind?”

He supposed it was wedding stuff, she needed the time to focus on that. “No it’s ok, I can go by myself, Madi’s cool, so I’ll just chat with her.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When the plane landed and Clarke was able to switch her phone back on, there was a text from Octavia.

 **Octavia:** Sorry to do this to you, but I had to go to court last minute. Bell was the only one available.

“Fuck.” She ran one hand through her hair.

“Clarke.” Madi scolded her language.

“Sorry Madz, sorry, please forget I said that.” She tried to apologize.

“What’s going on?”

“Bellamy’s fetching us.”

“Oh.” She realized. “Maybe this is the perfect opportunity for you guys to make peace.”

“I wouldn’t count on that.” They descended the plane, collected their luggage and headed for the door.

Bellamy was already waiting for them. He was leaning against a pillar, his feet crossed at the end. He looked like a damn male model in a Dolce and Gabbana ad or something. Her heart stopped for a moment. How on earth was she ever going to move on from this man when he had this effect on her even from across the room? He walked over when he spotted them. He smiled at Madi. “Hey Madi, good to see you again.” He pulled her in for a hug, but just nodded his head once in Clarke’s direction. “Clarke.”

“Bellamy.” She replied.

He pushed the luggage trolley for them, placed all of their luggage in the trunk of his car, opened the back door for Madi and to Clarke’s surprise he opened the door for her as well. As soon they left Madi was as forward as always. “Where’s your girlfriend?”

“Fiancé,” He corrected her. “She had some stuff to take care of at the station.” Clarke knew he only corrected Madi so she could hear him use the term. She didn’t let it bother her, she was going to have to use to it. He looked at Madi in the rearview mirror. “So you guys are really moving here, huh?”

“Yup, the moving truck is on its way. Clarke put the apartment on the market, and I’m starting at Arkadia Academy on Monday.” She boasted.

“Wow, that all happened really fast.” He glanced at Clarke for a second. She glanced back at him, a small smile pulling at the end of her lips, she wasn’t sure what to make of his statement after he’s accusations the other night. So she didn’t say anything. “Where am I taking you?” He asked.

“To my parents’. Thanks for fetching us by the way.”

He nodded. “So what are you going to do with all your furniture?”

“It will go into storage until we find a place of our own. Which I plan on finding soon, my mom will drive me up the walls if we’re in the same space for too long.” He snickered at that.  

When they arrived, he helped them to take all their luggage inside. When everything was unloaded he said goodbye to Madi again with a hi-five. “Well good luck with your first day of school and don’t go breaking too may hearts now.” He winked.

She bowed her head with a slight smile and blush. “Thanks”

He then faced Clarke. “Bye Clarke.”

“Bye Bellamy, thanks again for fetching us.” She turned around to head inside, when suddenly he pulled her arm back to stop her.

He waited for Madi to disappear inside before he spoke. “About the other night. I’m sorry, that was uncalled for. It’s just, it’s hard seeing you again. I really am sorry about Madi’s mom, it must have been really hard for both of both of you.” Clarke was completely caught off guard by what she did next, but her body moved before her mind even registered what she was doing. She threw her arms around him and hugged him. At first he seemed dumbstruck, he just stood there, but after a moment he put his arms around her too, and pulled her even tighter, it lasted maybe a few seconds too long before he took a few steps back. “I’m sorry I can’t do this,” he motioned between them “it still hurts, I think it’s best if we just avoid each other for now.” He got in his car and she watched him drive away.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When they got to the wedding venue, Bellamy knew exactly why Echo had chosen this place. It was a small, medieval style castle, with lots of Roman and Renaissance time artifacts, it looked more like a museum than a wedding venue. The view from the castle was breathtaking, with miles of beautiful greens stretching out all around it and the Atlantic Ocean adding the perfect background. It really did look like something out of a fairytale, but he was sure this was more for his benefit than for hers, because the library was one of the locations available for the reception. “So are you sure this is what _you_ want?” He asked her.

“Yes absolutely, I know it’s quite far for everyone to drive, and it is a bit pricey, but it’s perfect, it’s so beautiful. We’re not going to have that many guests, and I’m sure they won’t mind staying over.” She pouted.

“How pricey are we talking?”

She clasped her teeth together. “The quote they sent me for 50 guests adds up to $9,000.”

“Well then that’s not so bad, it is a little over budget, but maybe we can make it work.”

“That’s just for rental and food Bellamy.”

“What? That doesn’t include anything else?”

He put his arms around her neck and looked straight into her eyes. “Babe, as much as I would love to give this to you, I can’t, I just can’t afford it.”

“If we get a cheaper apartment and cut down on other costs, then we could afford it.” She pleaded.

“I know this day is important, but our life together is too, I want this to be perfect for you, but this is just the start, it’s just one day, and do you really want to compromise everything else for just one day?”

She seemed to consider it for a moment and shook her head slightly. “No, I guess not.”

He pulled her closer to him. “I’m sorry, we’ll find the perfect place, I promise.” He really hoped he could keep that promise with his clearly limited budget. She just leaned into him, if she was still upset, she didn’t show it.

 

When they got home she sat down at the kitchen table and started with the guest list. For him this was an easy task, he only wanted his close friends and family there, and she didn’t really have any family, so it would be a very small and intimate wedding.

“Babe do you think I should invite Roan?” She asked looking up.

“Your cousin or second cousin or whatever. Yeah sure, I know you couldn’t get the venue, but you can definitely invite anybody you want.”

“Anybody?” She looked a little unsure. “What about Clarke?”

“No except for Clarke.” He was stern about that.

“She’s going to be a constant in our lives now, and we’re inviting everybody else, we can’t not invite her.” She argued.

“No Echo we are not inviting me ex-girlfriend to our wedding.” He stated matter-of-factly.

She didn’t attempt any further argument, she accepted it and continued with the list. “I probably should have done this before we went to look at the venue, but when I saw it, it just spoke to me.” She must have picked up on his pained expression when their eyes met, “I’m not trying to change your mind on the matter, I was actually just teasing my own reverse logic.” He wished he could have given her that venue, but it just wasn’t feasible.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The first few days back in Arkadia flew by for Clarke, she settled in quickly at the hospital and Madi seemed to like her new school, she had already told her about all the cute boys and the nice girls in her class, She also told her about all of her new teachers, she said it wasn’t really different than starting a new school year. She skyped Charlotte and Gaia often and told them all about her new home with tons of excitement. Clarke just got into bed when her phone beeped with a text from Octavia.

 **Octavia:** Hey C, hope you’re settling in okay, are you available for a girl’s night on Thursday at my place?

 **Clarke:** Yeah actually everything has been really great. I’ll just have to check with my mom and find out if it’s ok if Madi stays with her, then I’ll come over as soon as she goes to bed. I can’t do this too often, remember, I’m a mom now.

 **Octavia:** Madi can always come with.

 **Clarke:** Oh no way, girl’s night talk is not appropriate for her ears.

 **Octavia:** Oh really, is there something very inappropriate that you want to tell us about? ;-)

 **Clarke:** I wish there were. I’ll let you know about Thursday. Night. Love you

 **Octavia:** K, night, love you too.

Something really inappropriate, she had only ever done such things with two people. She knew what she was about to do was even more inappropriate, but all of her inhibitions flew right out the door when that image of him standing against the pillar popped right into her mind. Well getting herself off while thinking of forbidden fruit fit that description perfectly. She walked to the closet and searched for her vibrator. She switched it on, it still had some battery life. She let her mind drift to the last time he ate her out, how he made out with her lips down there, sucked on her clit, licked up and down all her folds and fucked her with his tongue, “Uh” she let out a small moan. Although her vibrator was not half as good as the real deal, it was good enough to get her to climax, which was all she needed right now. She really needed to find someone else, actually a friends with benefits situation would be prefect. She didn’t need someone to love, her life was starting to coming together pretty well, she started feeling happy again, she just needed someone for when she was feeling a little frisky. If only she knew someone that would be interested.

 

When Thursday rolled around Clarke and Madi went to look at some apartments the found online after she picked her up from school. The first one they looked at, the kitchen was very small and had carpeted floors, which Clarke was not a fan of. The second one seemed better. “So what do you think, Madz?”

Madi scrunched up her nose. “No this doesn’t feel like it.”

“Why what’s wrong with it?”

“I don’t know, I don’t like the color of the walls and it just doesn’t feel right.”

“We can paint the walls.” She said like it was very obviously not a reason not to like it. “Besides we don’t have to stay forever, when the apartment in Chicago is sold, we can buy a new one or a house.”

“No, mom wouldn’t have liked it.”

Well, Clarke couldn’t argue with that. Lexa had very peculiar tastes. She almost gave up on finding an apartment when they got to the third one. “This is It.” she didn’t even have to ask Madi, she just knew. It was a ground floor condo with two big sliding doors that walked out onto a patio. The kitchen had recently been remodeled with granite tops. All the rooms were full of light, spacious with wooden floors, and built in closets, the new paint smell still hung in the air and the off white color went with everything. The bathroom was plain, but neat and had both a bath and a shower. And the rent was really reasonable, Clarke almost couldn’t believe it. “We’ll take it.” She nearly shouted to the agent.

The agent turned around. “There are already applications being processed for this place. You know with the rent being so low and everything recently remodeled. You will have to fill out an application as well. The utilities and cable are not included, so that will be for your own pocket. If your application is accepted I will require a security deposit and one months’ rent upfront.”

“No, that’s not a problem.” Clarke didn’t like using her wealth to her advantage, but she was a little desperate for this place. “Will it increase my chances if I offer to pay more?”

The woman clearly wasn’t expecting this. “Well I mean I’ll have to confirm with the owner, but I can’t see why not. I will send you the application forms, including a list of all the documents I will require for a credit and background check. How much extra would you be willing to pay?”

“I don’t know, like $50 or $100 per month.” Clarke had never really given much thought to living costs. She had no student loans, since her parents were able to afford her tuition, she earned a decent salary as a resident doctor and her father had left her a major trust fund when he died. Lexa also made sure that Madi was taken care of when she had died.  So money was really no issue for Clarke. She had never felt the need to live an extravagant life, but right now she was grateful for her extra funds. Y _ou’re still the exact same spoilt little Princess that gets everything she wants._ His words came to mind. “You know what, on second thought, I’ll just apply like everyone else.”

“Are you sure, I mean I’m sure the owner will gladly favor you if you are willing to pay more.” She was now definitely trying to increase the price for her own gain.

“No, if it’s meant to be, it will be.” Clarke smiled at her, she wished she could actually call Bellamy and tell him what she had just done, he would have been so proud.

 

 

After Madi went to bed and Clarke sent in the application forms she drove to Octavia’s. Everyone was already there, drinking wine and chatting loudly. Clarke kind of had the idea that it would just be her, Octavia and Raven, but apparently Octavia invited all the girls. “Wine or beer?” Octavia asked her as she walked to the kitchen.

“Wine, please? Red, if you have.”

The girls seemed to be in a serious discussion about something, they didn’t even notice her come in. “Hey guys.” She tried to get their attention.

Raven immediately turned around. “Hey Clarke,” she got up to hug her. Everyone else just smiled and waved at her. “So how are things going now that you are back?”

“Actually really well, we found an awesome apartment today, but apparently they have a lot of pending applications, so we’ll see.” She really tried not to get her hopes up, but they were high.

“Yeah, it sucks. We’ve also been looking for a new apartment, and there is always something wrong, it’s either taken, the rent is too high or it’s horrible.” Echo told her. Well that just lowered her expectations by a lot.

“So when are you going to look at the next venue?” Harper drew Echo’s attention back to their previous conversation, she was obviously not interested in Clarke’s apartment hunting.

“Well I saw this cute place on the outskirts of the city at the base of the mountains, which is a lot more affordable, it’s an actual barn, so I’ll make an appointment with them in the morning.” Echo explained. Clarke couldn’t quite figure out what they were talking about at first, but when Octavia reappeared with her wine and a sly dramatic eye roll, she connected the dots, venue, barn, they were talking about the wedding. Great, she was looking forward to some good girl time, but now she was going to have to listen to Echo’s wedding plans.

“So have you decided on a theme?” Harper was noticeably very interested in her wedding plans.

“Well I wanted the medieval fairy tale theme, but obviously that won’t work anymore, so now I’m going with a rustic winter theme. I was thinking a champagne color scheme. Would you mind wearing a champagne colored dress?” Echo asked her.

“Really, you want me to be a bridesmaid?”

“Is that not what you’ve been hinting at the entire night?” Echo teased her. “Harper will you please be my maid of honor?”

Harper nearly jumped through the roof with excitement. She threw her arms around Echo. “I would love to. So who else are you going to ask, because I assume Bellamy will have Miller and Murphy?”

Echo turned to face Octavia. “I was really hoping you would?”

Octavia swallowed her wine hard, not expecting the gesture at all.  “Me? But you and Raven are a lot closer, wouldn’t you rather have her?”

“Yes, but you are Bellamy’s sister and I think it would mean a lot to him.” She looked at her expectantly.

“Well if you’re sure, I would be honored.” Octavia tried to be polite, but Clarke could tell that she was inwardly freaking out, she did not want this wedding to happen at all, let alone stand up there and pretend to be happy for them.

“Thank you, I appreciate it.” She then addressed Clarke. “Clarke, I’m sorry, I tried to reason with him about inviting you, but he just won’t budge.”

Clarke waved her hand dismissively, that wedding was the last place on earth she wanted to be. “I’m glad he didn’t budge, it would be really weird to have your ex at your wedding.”

The night wore on and so did the wedding talk, Raven, Maya and Harper were all intrigued, Clarke had eventually had enough, so she subtly changed the subject. “So Ray, what are the plans with the baby, how is it going to work while you live in Boston?” She asked Raven.

“Oh, I’m almost done with my PhD, I got a job offer at Ark U, I’ll be doing research and development mostly, so I’ll be moving back soon.”

“And what about you guys, any wedding plans?”

“Well yeah, we’ve talked about it, but we’re not in a hurry. We want to buy a house first, and get the nursery ready before this little munchkin comes out of hibernation.” She said rubbing her tiny little bump. Clarke didn’t miss how she quickly stopped and looked away.

That actually seemed very logical. A house would be better for a kid, with a backyard to play and a big space to ride his or her bike. “Yeah that sounds like a good idea. If you can call living with Murphy a good idea.” Clarke winked at her.

“Yeah well too late to back out now.” She joked with her. “Nah, I love that idiot to the moon and back.” That got a laugh out of everyone.

Clarke was desperate for the conversation not to drift back to the wedding, but she was also interested in getting to know Maya a little better. “So Maya how did you and Jasper meet?”

Maya giggled. “I’m a nurse at St. Mary’s, and Jasper got really hurt one night trying to break up a bar fight, so I literally had to nurse him back to health. When they first brought him in I was a little judgmental, I thought he was a part of the bar fight, but he made a point to explain that he owns the bar and was just trying to break up the fight.”

This was news to Clarke. “He owns the bar?”

“He bought it from Gina, he got financing from the bank, so he doesn’t technically own it yet.” Octavia explained.

“Why did Gina sell it?” Gina did actually turn it into an amazing bar, it was her pride and joy, Clarke had no idea why she would sell it.

Everybody seemed reluctant to answer. “Why did she sell the bar?” Clarke demanded.

“Bell broke her heart.” Octavia said almost too soft for Clarke to hear. “Well technically she left him, but he was the reason she sold the bar and left town.”

“So he actually dated her?”

“For a little while.” Raven added.

Clarke was very upset for a moment, she couldn’t believe that they would have kept it from her. They knew everything. And they kept it from her. But she quickly realized there was really no point in dwelling on something that had happened a long time ago, she had moved on, he had moved on, he’s getting married, there really was no point. Everyone was staring at her. “Its fine, it doesn’t matter anymore.”

It was quiet and awkward for a few minutes. So Harper took this as the means to steer the conversation back to her favorite topic of the night. Clarke got that she was excited about it, because she was the maid of honor and one of her best friends was getting married. None of them had ever gotten married before, so this was a big deal. She just couldn’t help the jealousy though. It was supposed to be her wedding, she was supposed to marry him, they were supposed to be asking her about venues, themes and dresses. The gang had always speculated that she and Bellamy would get married first, and he _was_ getting married first, just not to her. _Get a grip Clarke Griffin. You were dealt a shitty hand, yeah, but some people have a lot less than you, people are starving in Africa. Like Lexa would say. “When life hands you lemons, don’t squeeze it in your eyes,_ fucking _get tequila and salt.”_ Yes it was decided, she was done with this shitty pity party. She was done being the girl hopelessly in love with a man she couldn’t have, because life wasn’t fair. Clarke 2.0 is born.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Bellamy startled awake in a sweat, it was still dark out, he was absolutely horrified by the dream he had just had. He didn’t understand why on earth he would be dreaming such a thing and it was so vivid. He swore trying to wipe the sweat from his face and pinching the bridge of his nose. He glanced over at Echo, she was still sound asleep and she looked so peaceful, hell if she knew what he had just dreamt she would call off the wedding immediately.

_He was standing at the altar, a few drops of sweat pooling on his forehead, there were a million different emotions going through him. He looked around and suddenly realized he was in the Library of the Castle. Good. He was able to give Echo her dream. The wedding March started playing, this was it, he looked down the aisle and there she was in a plain white satin dress, a veil over her head, barefoot. She was holding a big white lily. No, that couldn’t be right? She finally reached him, he smiled and opened her veil, only it wasn’t her. “Clarke?”_

_She radiated joy. “You know this castle is only fit for a princess, she’s not your princess, she never will be, but I am and I’m here now.” He nodded with a grin, linked their arms and turned to face the officiator._

He got up and headed for the kitchen to drink some water. He left the lights off so it wouldn’t bother his roommates. He thought he might as well get some work done while he was up, he wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep anyway, so he tiptoed back to his bedroom to get his laptop. He sat down at the kitchen table, took his laptop out of the bag, opened it and entered the password. The password was incorrect. He tried it again. Still incorrect. He realized he must have taken Echo’s laptop, he placed the laptop back in the bag, but it got stuck on a folder or something inside. As he pulled the laptop out again, his eye caught a glimpse of what was in the folder. Clarke. He pulled out the folder, there were a few photos of Clarke and a report of some sorts. He quickly replaced everything and started pacing. _What was Echo doing with photos of Clarke? Should he read the report?_ His mind was going a million miles a minute. He was just about to reach for the folder again when heard Echo’s whispered voice behind him.

“Bellamy, what are you doing?”

He wasn’t sure whether he should just ask her about it, avoid it completely, or wait until morning, but he spoke before he could think better of it. “Why do you have photos of Clarke Echo? Are you trying to investigate her or something? Do you feel threatened by her?” The irritation strong in his voice.

“Let’s just go back to the bedroom, please, I don’t want to wake Miller and Jackson.” She asked still whispering.

He followed her to the room, she sat down on the bed, but he kept standing with his arms over his chest anticipating an answer. He was very used to arguing with Clarke, she drove him crazy sometimes, but Echo, no, this was new, and he wasn’t even quite sure how to handle the situation. “So, are you going to tell me why you are looking into my ex-girlfriend? Have I given you a reason to doubt my feelings or something?”

“No you idiot, I was her Secret Santa.” Her voice was playful.

He didn’t quite understand. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“Because Bellamy, it’s called _Secret_ Santa.”

“ _I_ told _you_. I assumed you didn’t tell me, because you got me.”

“Well you assumed wrong, and you told me because you needed my help with Harper’s gift.”

That part was true, he really did need her help. “I still don’t understand the photos though.”

“I made her a framed photo collage. Raven helped me with some photos, those were left over, I just haven’t given them back to her yet.” She explained.

Oh well that made complete sense, he really was an idiot. “Sorry babe,” A complete idiot, Obviously Echo would never do such a thing. “Sorry for jumping to conclusions.”

“That’s ok, you can make it up to me though.” She stated seductively and started taking off her shirt.

That got his attention instantly. “Now that I can definitely do.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Clarke’s new philosophy had been going great, she focused all of her energy on Madi and the hospital and she had even gone on a date. One of the nurses at the hospital set her up with her brother. There was nothing there, no chemistry, and she learned her lesson with Finn a long time ago, if the connection is not there right away, then it’s not worth pursuing.  She had fun though and that’s all she wanted right now was just to have fun. She was sitting on Madi’s bed, quizzing her. “Okay describe the process of photosynthesis?”

“Photosynthesis is the process used by plants, algae and certain bacteria to turn energy from sunlight into chemical energy,” She breathed and scratched her head. “it takes in the carbon dioxide produced by all breathing organisms and uhm… restores oxygen into the atmosphere.”

Clarke gave her a thumbs up. “You are going to ace that test.”

“Thanks Clarke. For quizzing me.”

“Sure Kiddo. So are you ready for bed?” She ruffled her hair a bit affectionately.

“Yes, are you going out again?” she sounded a little sad.

“What do you mean again?”

“When you have the night off lately you go out to girls night and the other night you went on a date.”

Clarke hadn’t realized that it was upsetting to Madi. “Madz I’ve been to one girl’s night and one date, but if that bothers you, I won’t go out on dates.”

“You’re trying to forget about Bellamy aren’t you?”

Madi got into bed and Clarke brushed the hair out of her face, but she raised her voice slightly. “Madi, we’ve talked about this.”

“It’s not going to happen Clarke.”

Clarke tucked her in and kissed her forehead. “I’m not having this discussion.”

“I’m just saying, you dated mom for over a year and even then you never stopped loving him. I saw you, the other day, when you hugged, I think he still loves you too.”

“Madi Polis you are trudging on dangerous ground.” She gave her a stern look. “Good Night, love u.” She switched off the light and left unwilling to discuss the matter any further.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Bellamy and Echo were seated at a table in one of Arkadia’s finest restaurants waiting for his mother, Octavia and Lincoln to join them. The ambience was very romantic, the lights were low and soft love songs were playing in the background. All of the tables were round tables with black tablecloths, set with wine and Champaign glasses, white napkins and one too many pieces of cutlery.  He didn’t really feel comfortable there, fancy places like these were not his scene, but they had some good news to share with them. Echo, as always, picked up on his discomfort. “Did I ever tell you I asked Octavia to be one of my bridesmaids?”

His brows furrowed. “I didn’t realize you were that close.”

“Oh we’re not, I just thought, she’s your sister and so she should be a part of our wedding party.”

“Babe, you didn’t have to do that, you could have asked whoever you wanted.”

“Hey, sorry we’re late, Lincoln got held up at work.” Octavia made her entrance known, as always.

She hugged him. “Hey O, that’s ok.” He got up to greet his mother and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Hi mom, how have you been?”

“I’m good Bell. Thanks for inviting me.” His mother hugged Eco as well. “Hi Echo. Good to see you.”

Lincoln greeted them and they all sat down. His mother couldn’t contain her curiosity. “So what did you guys want to talk to us about?”

Bellamy looked at Echo, she nodded for him to go ahead. “Well, we found a venue for the wedding that both of us like, it’s in our price range and only a 20 minute drive from the city.”

“I feel a but coming on.” Octavia noted.

“Yes, they are fully booked for the next 12 months, but they had a cancellation for the 3rd of March, they needed a deposit to secure the booking immediately, so we paid it.”

“Bell that’s basically in a month’s time.” Octavia was concerned.

The waiter approached them before he could answer. “Good evening, my name is Riley, I will be your server for the night. Can I start you off with something to drink?” He asked placing a plate of breadsticks down on the table.

Bellamy looked at everyone at the table, Lincoln seemed to be the only decisive one. “Should we just get a bottle of red wine?”

Everyone agreed. “Thanks, just a bottle of Pinot Noir.” The waiter nodded and left. “Anyway so yes we’re basically getting married in a little more than a month.”

“Well I guess congratulations are in order, but that’s very soon, will you be able to plan everything in time.” His mother asked them, her eyes full of concern.

“We’ll send out the invitations via e-mail. Monty said you can create a sort of website for your wedding. When your guests receive their invitations they click on the link and RSVP online with plus one information and all the info regarding the wedding is also on there.” Echo explained.

“Mom we were hoping you can help with the cake and bridesmaid dresses?”  Bellamy asked his mom.

“Sure honey, Echo we’ll have to get on that right away though.”

“Yes of course, we can come to you over the weekend. If that’s ok with you?”

“Yes that’s fine.” She said a little uneager.

“Octavia are you available this weekend?” Echo asked her.

“I have plans with Clarke and Madi on Saturday morning, but other than that I’m free.” Octavia answered.

The waiter returned with their wine and poured everyone a glass. They ordered their food and the discussions and arrangements about the wedding went on, but Bellamy couldn’t help but notice the lack of enthusiasm from all three of them. He knew it was a little soon, but something seemed off. When his mother excused herself from the table to go to the bathroom, he did the same, when they were out of earshot he stopped her. “Mom, is something wrong?”

“Bellamy this is happening very fast.”

“I know mom, but it was the only date the venue was available.”

“Why not wait until the next available date a year from now?” She said almost pleading. “Why Bellamy? You’ve only been together for a year, why are you rushing into this?”

 _Oh so this is the problem._ “I love her mom, I want to marry her and start a family, we’re not getting any younger.”

“It’s just Bell I was hoping.” She hesitated and turned to leave. “Never mind.”

He stopped her and gently turned her back around to look at him. “What mom, please tell me?”

“If I tell you, you have to promise not to hate me?”

“I promise.”

“I was hoping now that Clarke’s back, the two of you might reconcile.”

He ran his hands through his hair, he really wasn’t expecting this. “Not happenin’.” He stated casually and entered the bathroom.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

On Saturday morning Clarke and Madi met Octavia at the salon for a manicure, Clarke didn’t have much time, because she had a shift at the hospital, but Octavia insisted as usual. When they arrived Octavia was already waiting for them, she did not seem like her usual chipper self, her shoulders were slumped, she had bags under her eyes and she seemed very irritated with the magazine she was flipping through. “Hey, is something wrong?” Clarke asked as she walked over to her.

“You bet your ass something’s wrong.” She got up to give both of them a quick hug.

“Well do you wanna talk about it?”

“Just now,” She said as she approached the front desk. “Morning, we have an appointment for 9am, Clarke, Madi and Octavia.”

The woman scanned through her computer. “Ah yes, Clarke is with Laura-Lee, Madi is with Angie and Octavia is with April, please follow me.”

They followed the woman to the nail bar, she showed each of them to their seats, offered them something to drink, and then left to get their drinks. The nail technicians got straight to work asking them what color they would like, buffing and filing. Clarke felt a little wild since her new inspiration had set in so she asked for a fiery red, usually she would just do something natural or a soft pink, since her nails had to be short for work, but today she felt motivated to try something new. She turned her head to look at Octavia. “So you want to tell me what’s going on?” Octavia opened her mouth to speak, but hesitated, she seemed unsure of what to say, her whole posture was slumped, her eyes sad. “Octavia is everything ok, I’m started to get worried.”

“It’s Bell.”

This had Clarke even more worried, what if something had happened to him. “Is he ok?”

“Yes he’s fine, but, it’s the wedding, the only date they could get to have the wedding at the venue they want is the 3rd of March.” Clarke felt like she could barely breathe, she had no idea why, since she knew it would happen sooner or later. Bellamy had moved on, he was in love and devoted to someone else, she had accepted it and was trying to move on herself, but now that it was right around the corner, she suddenly felt full of regret, “Oh” was all she could utter.

Octavia was eyeing the technicians work on her hand intensely. “We have to go over to my mother’s today for measurements and arrangements and I’ll have to sit there and smile and pretend and I just don’t think I can do it.” She sighed heavily. “Clarke I won’t be able to stand up there and watch my brother make the biggest mistake of his life.”

Clarke was trying to be supportive, but she really had no words for her friend, she was sort of going through her own panic internally, which she was completely, well sort of responsible for herself. Her whole life with him was playing in her mind like a movie, their instant connection, the night she realized she was in love with him, that stupid night outside the bar she told him, the same night he had made love to her for the first time, how perfect they were together, every weekend he came to visit her, every Sunday at the park, every time he took her out on a date, every text telling her he was going on a dangerous assignment, every call telling her he was ok, the day she got the bad news, the night he asked her to marry her and the night… she left and every night she spoke to that stupid sketch telling him how much she needed him to hold her. Just everything. Gone. He was really gone. Then suddenly… there was just… darkness.

“Clarke, are you okay? Clarke… please, Clarke! Wake up!” Madi’s voice was desperate. Clarke opened her eyes, Madi’s face was full of worry. “Clarke, are you okay?”

“Mmm” Everything was still a bit blurry, she realized she must have fainted.

“Clarke can you sit up and drink some juice?” Octavia asked her. “The sugar will be good for you.” Octavia tried to help her up. She took a few sips of the juice that Octavia held to her mouth. The sugar did help, the dizziness started fading away, but she still sat down for a few minutes just to make sure.

“I’m okay.” She assured them.

Madi wrapped her arms around Clarke, she seemed very relieved. “You scared me.”

“Sorry Kiddo, I’m okay, I promise.” She gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

“Clarke, must I take you to the ER?” Octavia asked concerned.

Clarke waved her hand dismissively. “I’m fine, probably just low blood sugar. You can give me a ride home though.”

“Yes of course.” Octavia help her to her feet. “Are you sure you’re ok to stand?”

She got slightly annoyed by their faffing. “I’m fine, really, I’ll just go line down for a while.” She looked at her half done nails. _So much for adventurous red._ She thought.

The manager of the salon helped them to walk Clarke back to Octavia’s car, assured them that they can reschedule their appointment and that they didn’t have to pay the full price for the manicures that the technician’s weren’t able to finish. Clarke was grateful to know that you still got good-hearted people like that in business.

When they got home, Clarke went straight to bed to take a nap, she still wasn’t feeling 100% normal, and a little rest was the only thing that would be able to fix that. When she woke there were water and cookies on her bedside table, that either Madi or her mom must have put there, she smiled at the thoughtful gesture. She picked up her phone, surprised to see that she had actually slept for three hours and there were quite a few texts and missed calls, one from Raven and Octavia, but the last one startled her, Bellamy had called her. She checked her texts.

 **Octavia** : Just checking in to see how you’re doing, please call me, I’m freaking out.

 **Raven** : Clarke Griffin, Octavia said you fainted, are you okay?

 **Mom:** Honey, I left you to sleep, I had to go to the hospital, let me know if you need anything. I was worried. Love you.

No text from Bellamy, she couldn’t help but feel disappointed, but before she could think better of it she called him back, reasoning that it could have been important. It rang but he didn’t answer, it went to voicemail, but she didn’t leave a message, she just hung up. She stared at the name on her phone, rubbing her thumb over his name, almost as if she could touch him, then the phone started buzzing and that name lit up. “Bellamy”

“Clarke”

There was complete silence for a few moments. “You called me?”

“Yes uhm… well,” He struggled to get the words out. “Octavia said you fainted and I was worried.”

“I’m fine, but thanks for checking up on me.” She tried as casual as possible.

“What happened?”

 _I realized I lost you forever._ “Probably just low blood sugar.” She lied.

“Don’t you think you should get it checked out?” He was concerned.

“Bell, I’m a doctor, I’m fine, nothing to worry about.”

“Okay well, I can’t argue with a doctor. I’ll let you go then”

“Okay, thanks again for checking up on me. Bye.”

“Bye.” She was about to hang up, when she heard him shout. “Clarke!”

“Yeah?”

“Take care of yourself.” His voice was so soft and full of worry.

“Yeah you too. Oh and uh Congratulations, by the way.”

“Yeah thanks. Okay well bye Clarke.”

“Bye Bellamy.” She hung up and pressed the phone to her heart, somewhere in that big heart of his, she still featured, not enough, not nearly enough, but she was there, and she would take it.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The night before the wedding had arrived. Clarke dropped Madi off at a friend’s house for a sleepover. She didn’t feel like going home and lying in that big bed in their new apartment all by herself, they didn’t get the apartment they wanted, but at least they got one that wasn’t too bad. So instead she just drove around town, everyone else was at the rehearsal dinner, and she wasn’t in the mood for her mother’s constant sympathies, so she just drove. Eventually she found herself in The Dropship parking lot, she leant her head on the steering wheel, her oath to not feel sorry for herself anymore long forgotten, someone inside there was going to make her feel something else tonight. She opened the door hesitantly and sauntered inside.  Her eyes scanned the place, it was quite slow for a Friday night, probably because of the weather, even though it was Spring, the cold hadn’t yet subsided. She sat down at the bar. “Whiskey, neat, please?”

“Coming right up.” The bartender told her, Clarke looked her up and down as the girl poured her drink, she was beautiful with long dark hair and wide brown eyes. She scanned the room, but no-one else really caught her attention. So she turned her attention back to the bar and just continued nursing her drink for the moment. Every sip she took stung her throat, but it would numb the pain that that was cursing through her body like a wildfire.

“Clarke, I thought I might find you here tonight.” A voice she didn’t recognize said behind her.

She turned around. “Sergeant Diyoza, what are you doing here?”

“Can’t a girl have a tequila on a Friday night?”

“Oh, uh, yes of course.” She said a little sheepish, because obviously that was what she was doing there.

“Mind if I join you?” She asked motioning to the empty seat next to Clarke.

“I won’t be good company though.” She turned her head back to her glass.

“I’m gonna go out on a limb here and assume you’re not too thrilled about the wedding?” Clarke didn’t answer that. That was exactly what she was trying to get her mind off of. “It’s ok, I get it. I know why you left.”

This got Clarke’s attention. She looked at Diyoza in surprise. “You do?”

“I never meant to eavesdrop, but I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation in the hospital all those years ago.” She let out a breath. “You know for someone who is one of the best detectives I’ve ever seen, he can be so damn oblivious to things his own life. What you did was very noble, monumentally stupid, but admirable.”

Clarke wasn’t sure what to say to that. “Thanks? I guess.”

“A shot of tequila, for both of us.” Dioyoza instructed the girl behind the bar. Clarke couldn’t help but notice how she gained respect whenever she spoke, she was intimidating, not in the same way as Octavia, more in a way that she radiated strength and wisdom. “Are you going to the wedding?” Diyoza asked her.

“I wasn’t even invited.”

The girl placed the shots down in front of them. “Well, bottom’s up.” Diyoza picked up her shot. Clarke raised her shot glass in the air, she pulled her face slightly and raised her eyebrows, not having anything to toast, but not really caring either. “My plus one cancelled on me at the last minute, so you can tag along with me.” Diyoza said after downing her shot.

Clarke downed hers as well. She groaned and shivered slightly at the sting in her throat. “Why would I want to watch the man I love marrying somebody else?” She started feeling the buzz she craved setting in.

“To save that man from making the biggest mistake of his life.”

Clarke snorted. “Oh another member of the Bellamy and Clarke fan club. Yay.” Clarke mocked punching her fist in the air.                                                                                                                                   

“You know Clarke I don’t usually interfere in my people’s personal lives, but sometimes you have to step in and save them from themselves.”

“Well Bellamy’s a big boy, I’m sure he can make his own decisions.”

Diyoza turned her body to face Clarke. “Can I ask you something? What would your father be doing right now if he was still alive.

This got Clarke’s attention. She tought about it for a second, he would probably be holding her, comforting her, telling her to call him and tell him everything. He would have told her to fight, because you can’t win if you don’t show up, but she couldn’t do that, because the battle was sort of her own fault. If she had handled things differently then she would probably be sitting on the couch next to him watching TV right now. But then again, if she had handled things differently she wouldn’t have Madi, and she couldn’t imagine her life without her. “How do you know about my father?” She finally asked.

“Our paths crossed a few times when I was younger. Don’t ever tell anybody this, but I was an investigator for the department of environmental affairs year ago, your dad and I worked on a few cases together. He was a great man. That job didn’t last very long though, there was no thrill or real dangers in the environmental world.” She explained.

Clarke understood, her father was one of the best environmental engineers in the Country, everybody that needed an environmental solution for whatever reason contracted her father. He was also used by the Department of Environmental Affairs several times to analyze cases of non-adherence to environmental laws.  “Yeah he was a great man.” She agreed.

Diyoza ordered a bourbon on the rocks and turned her attention back to Clarke. “So what would he be doing right now?”

Clarke got a little annoyed, she came here because she wanted to get drunk and have complete meaningless sex with someone, now Diyoza was playing some little game. She took another sip of her whiskey. “With all due respect Sergeant, but would you please stop beating around the bush and get to the point.”

Diyoza nodded her head once, the ends of her mouth pulling up into a small smile. “Well I can see why Bellamy loves you, you don’t take shit from anyone.”

“Loved,” she empathized the d “past tense.” She reminded her.

“Oh bullshit, he doesn’t love you any less than the day you left, he just turned all of that into hate, because it was the only way he could cope. But there’s a very thin line between love and hate.” She stated. “Does he love Echo, sure. Is he attracted to her?” She raised one eyebrow. “Obviously, she’s a beautiful woman. Is he in love with her? Not a chance.”

“How on earth would you know that?” Clarke was intrigued.

“It’s the little things.”

 _You think I don’t notice the little things._ Lexa’s words came to mind. She leaned a little closer, her curiosity peaked. “I’m listening.”

Diyoza smiled a wicked smile, pleased that she finally got the reaction she had hoped for. She took a sip of her drink and turned around to lean back on the bar. “Well for one, he got engaged the moment he heard you were back in the picture.” She paused as if to give Clarke a chance to process it first. “He still buys that awful Light Beer you like. When we go on a dangerous assignment, he picks up his phone and stares at it, like he’s not sure what to do. He goes completely numb at the sound of your name, and every last Sunday of the month –“

“He goes to the park for ice cream or coffee and watches the kids playing.” Clarke finished for her.

“Yes. Without her.” She added. “And the list goes on, but I think you get the picture.” She sounded pleased. “She became his partner shortly after you left. He was broken, really broken, Clarke. He drank himself into a stupor every night, he became careless and aggressive, and I had to suspend him for a while.” Clarke placed her hand over her mouth in shock, because she was the cause of all of that, but in a way he did the same to her, she felt broken too the night she left. “At first he was pissed about his new babysitter,” Diyoza continued, “but she won him over pretty soon. Little by little she brought him back to the Bellamy we all knew and love. He started trusting her, relying on her, they became friends, good friends, and they worked really well together for about a year, but she fell for him.”

Diyoza stayed quiet for a while. Her attention focused on the drink in front of her. “And then?” Clarke motioned with her hands for Diyoza to continue.

“Damn it, if only I noticed it back then, I could have put a stop to it immediately.”

This confused Clarke a little. “Noticed what?”

She didn’t answer Clarke’s question, she just straightened and continued her story. “Anyway, I’m not sure if he felt like he owed her, or whether he just mistook partnership, loyalty and friendship for being in love, but eventually, after a few months, he gave in and started dating her.”

Clarke felt suddenly cold, because that description had just ticked all the boxes of her relationship with Lexa. The attraction was always there, but first she helped her settle in Chicago and heal somewhat, then they became friends, best friends. Although Lexa never pushed, Clarke knew she wanted more, so eventually she ran out of reasons not to pursue it. “You know it’s not uncommon for people to fall in love with their best friends.” She tried to reason.

Diyoza nodded. “Sure, I can see that, but not when you’re already in love with someone else.” Well Clarke couldn’t argue with that. _Damn this woman is just so smart._ She was wrecking her brain trying to find something to disagree with her, but nothing came to mind. If your heart belonged to someone else, you’re doomed, no-one will ever measure up. Diyoza must have picked up on her speechlessness. “I really wasn’t looking to debate with you about love Clarke.” Diyoza now looked her straight in the eyes, her face serious, her eyes wide, almost desperate. “You need to tell him the truth.”

Clarke ordered another Whiskey, she was now properly tipsy, but that was what she came here for, so she wasn’t going to stop. A picture was starting to form in her mind, Diyoza was scared of something, there was something she wasn’t telling her, she didn’t care whether Bellamy loved Echo or not, she used that whole little speech as a means to an end. Clarke didn’t know her very well, but she had a strong feeling she could trust her, she didn’t push for any further information. “I’ll think about it.”

Diyoza gulped the last of her Bourbon down and stood. “I’m almost convinced if you tell him, there will be no wedding tomorrow.” She placed some cash on the counter and headed for the door. Clarke stared at her as she walked away, she kept staring at the door after she left, not quite sure what to do.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When Bellamy got home from the rehearsal dinner, he was quite drunk. He wasn’t sure why, but he had a lot of champagne, probably a bit of nerves for the big day. He wasn’t looking forward to sleeping alone tonight, but as legend has it, it’s bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding, so Echo was staying with Harper for the night. As he slouched into their new apartment he hit his head on the door-frame, not quite used to the feel of everything yet. “Fuck!” he swore rubbing the spot that was impacted.

When he got to the bedroom, he removed his keys, wallet and phone, got undressed and through himself onto the bed. Just as he drifted off, his phone rang, he just didn’t have the energy to answer, he was officially on vacation for two weeks, which meant it couldn’t be the station, so he left it to ring. Eventually the ringing stopped, but a moment later it started up again, it took all the energy he had left to get up and find his phone. He was just about to answer when it stopped again. There were two missed calls from Clarke. _Why would she be calling?_ He wondered. She left a voicemail so he clicked on it to listen. “Bell, I guess I understand why you’re not answering, but I really have to tell you something, it’s very important, please call me back.” She sighed. “Bell, I still love you, I never stopped.” Her words were slightly slurred, she seemed to be just as drunk as he was.

He wasn’t sure what to do with that, if it didn’t unlock some emotion inside him, he would be lying to himself. He fumbled with the phone in his hands. He couldn’t deny the fact that he still deeply cared about her either. He felt that when he hugged her and when Octavia had told him she passed out he had to restrain himself from driving over there, but another part of him still hated her too. She was the reason he nearly lost everything, he nearly completely lost himself, and Echo was the reason he hadn’t, that’s why he loved her, and that’s why he was going to marry her. So he placed the phone on his nightstand and got back into bed. Completely ignoring her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Bellamy was a little nervous and excited at the same time. One of the biggest moments of his life had finally arrived. He was more dressed up than he had ever been, his hair cut and styled, his beard slightly trimmed. He was dressed in a very fancy black tux, with a white shirt, black waistcoat and a champagne colored tie. Miller, standing next to him, placed his hand on his shoulder supportively. “This is it, you ready?”

“Yeah, thanks man.” Then his eyes found his mother’s, she smiled a small smile and a few tears escaped her eyes. She wiped them away. He smiled back at her and she nodded. He checked the time on his watch, two minutes to three, any moment now his sister would be walking down that aisle, then Harper and Echo right behind her, he couldn’t wait to see her, he was sure she would look radiantly beautiful in white today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the Cliffhanger, really not sorry... What do you think is going to happen?


	12. Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the new chapter. Sorry for the long wait.
> 
> I always forget to say this, but thank you for all the comments and kudo's!!!
> 
> WARNING: Things get a little darker from here, I don't want to change the tags, because tags spoil plot, but if you are fine with the show, you'll be fine with this.

Today Clarke found a different kind of indulgence, she played pumping music on full blast as she scrubbed, cleaned, unpacked and decorated. She checked her phone, no new missed calls, and no messages. It was ten past three, chances were Bellamy was already getting married. Madi was still with her friend, which meant she had another lonely night to look forward to. She couldn’t get drunk tonight, because she had an early shift at the hospital, but she didn’t want to either, she decided she was better than that. She had tried to call Bellamy again, but he just dismissed the calls, which meant he got her voicemail and just didn’t care. _Don’t know what you were expecting, that he was just gonna drop the whole wedding and come running._ Diyoza was wrong, he didn’t love her anymore, but she didn’t just feel hurt or jealous anymore, she felt scared for him. Both Diyoza and Octavia didn’t trust Echo, and if they were right, he might be vowing himself into some serious trouble right now. She tried to talk to him, she even considered going over to his apartment, but she had no idea where that apartment even was.

She gave herself one more night to “mourn” him, but from tomorrow, there would be no more such bullshit, she would get her act together and erase him from her memory. _Bellamy Who? Oh who am I kidding, I tried that before and yet here I am. No. You can do this. You are a strong, smart, independent_ _woman, you are not defined by this. You will get over this. You will._ She argued with herself. Yet she found herself imagining her own wedding, walking down that aisle, she imagined the smile on his face when he saw her, she smiled a little, but as soon as she realized it was just fantasy she started scouring the floor once again.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Bellamy started to panic, the girls were already fifteen minutes late. “Relax man.” Miller’s voice came from behind. “It’s a bride’s privilege to be late.” He nodded, unconvinced. He kept looking at his watch and then down the aisle, anticipating his sister’s appearance. _What if Echo found out about his phone call to Clarke? Which was completely innocent, he was only worried about her. Did he maybe talk in his sleep when he dreamt of her the other night? Did Echo maybe realize she didn’t really love him? She wasn’t going to show, was she, she was going to leave him, just like Clarke did. No! She is not Clarke. She will, she’s just late._ A million what-if’s went through his mind.

The next moment Harper came running through the doors, her high heels clicking loudly on the wooden floors, she was panting heavily. “We… can’t,” She took a deep breath. “We can’t find her anywhere.”

Bellamy’s heart started racing. “What do you mean you can’t find her?” he demanded.

“A few minutes before the wedding was about to start Roan came in to see her, she asked us for some privacy, so we left. When it was time to go, we went back but she wasn’t in the dressing room anymore. We’ve checked everywhere, she’s just gone.” Her eyes scanned the room, “It doesn’t look like he’s here either.”

“Well don’t just stand there, find her.” He ordered. He took his phone out of his pocket to check her location, but Harper interrupted him.

“It’s no use, I’ve already checked, she left her phone in the room.” He ran his hand over his face and swore under his breath.

He headed straight to the dressing room, all of her stuff was still there, her overnight bag, her luggage for their honeymoon, her handbag, everything. That could only mean one thing, she didn’t go willingly, so he must have taken her. He had only met the guy once, but he didn’t get a particularly bad vibe from him. Bellamy couldn’t think of a reason why Roan would do something like that, according to Echo he was excited for her when he got his invitation. He bolted to the security station at the entrance of the venue. “Did you see someone leaving with the bride just before 3pm?” He asked them.

“No sir, nobody left the premises in the last hour.” The security guard informed him.

Bellamy wasn’t sure whether he believed him, someone with the kind of money that the Queen’s had would easily buy a security guard’s silence. “Do you mind if I check the footage?”

“Unfortunately you will have to obtain permission from the manager, he will only be back tomorrow.”

“What if I got a warrant?” Bellamy tried to scare them.

This guy was good, Bellamy’s question didn’t faze him one bit, “Yes sir with a warrant we will gladly make the footage available to you.” he must have known getting a warrant wasn’t that easy.

He ran back inside as everyone started piling out. Some of them made their way to the bar first, but other people just left, some stared at him with sympathetic expressions on their faces, others hugged him or patted his shoulder, but he didn’t have time to deal with them right now. He went straight to Diyoza. “All her stuff is still in the dressing room, I tried to get the security footage at the entrance, but they refuse to give it to me without a warrant.” He explained.

Diyoza stared at him for a moment. “Maybe she left everything because she didn’t want to be found.”

He gave her an unamused look. “Now why would she do that?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know Blake, maybe she picked up on your little secret.” She said with a hint of a tease, but she was serious.

“Diyoza I really don’t have time for your guessing games, I need to find her.” His voice filled with urgency.

“ _If_ she wanted to be found, she’ll let you know.” She raised one eyebrow and patted him on the shoulder.

Realization dawned on him. “She would’ve left a clue.” Knowing her she would have left it in the least obvious place, but somewhere he would be able to find it. He went back to the dressing room and started rummaging through all of her things, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary, all of her things in perfect order like they always were. He picked up her phone, it was password protected, so he tried everything he could think of, but it wouldn’t unlock.

He tried a more logical approach, Echo liked things in certain ways, he had to find one thing that wasn’t in place, then he caught sight of a pair of shoes, a pair he knew wouldn’t belong to her, it was a colorful pair of pumps with polka dots, something she would never wear. He reached inside the left shoe and there it was, a piece of paper. He pulled it out carefully, it read: EYES AND EARS EVERYWHERE. He kept his hand over it to hide it from view and cautiously slipped it into his sleeve. He pretended to search all of her other shoes, pockets, books and any other object that might hold a clue. He even slammed his fists on the dressing table and cried out in frustration just in case someone was watching.

Still faking his defeat he wandered to his car without greeting anyone. He got in and drove to the Dropship. When he got there he headed straight to the bar. “Just a beer please?” He told the bar lady whom he didn’t recognize when he sat down. She just nodded and returned seconds later with his drink. He took out his phone and texted Diyoza.

**Bellamy:** Meet me at the Dropship, we need to talk.

**Diyoza:** On my way.

He took a few sips of his drink while he pretended to look for clues on his phone. After a while he went to the bathroom, because there couldn’t be any hidden cameras in a public toilet. He stepped into one of the stalls, and slyly checked for cameras anyway. When he was sure there were none, he sat down to read the letter. His nerves were shot as he removed it from his sleeve, he opened it very carefully to avoid any sound.

_Dear Bellamy_

_If you are reading this it means something went wrong and I wasn’t able to marry you, if that is the case, I’m so deeply sorry, I wanted nothing more than to become your wife, you have no idea how much I love you. I had a notion this might happen for two reasons, the first being Diyoza and Octavia’s suspicions, chances are my cover might be compromised._

_I’m so sorry that I lied to you, but us, everything we have that isn’t a lie, you changed me Bellamy, you made me want to be better, to be a good person, that’s why I’m writing this letter. If Diyoza or Octavia know something and they mentioned it to Clarke, Clarke’s in trouble._

_Clarke’s father discovered some very incriminating evidence against Queen Foods and Manufacturing. At first it was just illegal dumping, improper disposal of harmful waste, but he dug deeper and found information that could destroy them. They killed him for it, and they won’t hesitate to do the same to Clarke. They have been watching Clarke from a distance for years, but as long as she didn’t know anything, she was safe. Killing her would have drawn too much attention._

_Nia sent me to spy on you. My mission was to obtain all and any evidence I could find and destroy it. I had to befriend you and get all the information you had on Clarke, only problem was you avoided the Clarke subject like the plague. But I fell in love with you for real, I want to help both you and Clarke._

_There is one piece of evidence I was never able to locate, the most incriminating, we’re not sure whether it’s physical documents or a digital copy and we have no idea where it might be, the one thing we do know is that Clarke would know, you have to help her. Take her away, execute P52, I will meet you there, the Queen’s still trust me, we can figure out what and where those documents are and expose them._

_I really am so sorry, I wanted to tell you a million times, but I was scared. Scared of the Queen’s and of losing you, I will spend every minute of every day trying to make it up to you if I have to, I hope you can find it in you to forgive me._

_All my Love._

_Echo_

Bellamy sat with his hands in his head, a single tear escaped his right eye. _How could I have been so stupid? All the late nights she worked, the file with the photos, the fact that she didn’t mind visiting Clarke, and the way she was always so nice and understanding towards him and everyone else, all just a ruse._ _You are the biggest idiot on the planet, love really is fucking blind._ He punched his hand against the door of the stall, it didn’t even hurt. He didn’t have time to dwell on his stupidity or fall apart right now, Clarke was in danger, he had to get to Diyoza and inform her of P52 and get Clarke and Madi to safety. He folded the letter as small as he could and hid it inside his fist.  

When he got back to the bar Diyoza was already waiting for him, he held out his hand to greet her, not that they ever really greeted each other this way, it was just a sleek way to hand her the letter. Diyoza was smart, she caught on momentarily. “Blake” She shook his hand.

“Thanks for meeting me.” He said as he sat down again.

She ordered both of them a drink and turned towards him, leaning on the counter with one arm. The crowd started picking up and so did the music. “Let’s grab a booth at the back before they’re all taken.” She said pointing in the direction of the booths. Bellamy took both their drinks and followed her lead. “So have you found anything as yet?” She played along.

He shook his head. “Do you think she’s in danger?”

“No, I think she caught on to your little secret and she left with her cousin.” She stated matter-of-factly.

He narrowed his eyes, because he knew that ‘little secret’ was code for ‘your feelings for Clarke’, which was a subject he tried to avoid completely. “Yeah that’s what I think too. So it’s probably for the best.” He sighed. Acting really wasn’t that easy, but if their phones or anything was bugged, or if someone was following them and listening in on their conversation he had to give them a _good_ reason for contacting Clarke moments after he was about to marry someone else.

A crease appeared on her forehead. “At the barn you were still hell-bent on finding her. What changed?”

“If she wanted to be found, she would have left a clue, I searched everywhere, nothing. Besides I realized it would have been a mistake.”

A slight grin appeared on Diyoza’s face. “So you finally realized it?”

He nodded. “Yeah.” He knew Diyoza caught on to his little ploy, but she seemed to be enjoying this way too much.

“So you asked me to come here so you could tell me you had an epiphany?” She asked somewhat annoyed, taking a sip of her bourbon.

“No I’m worried about her. What if she was kidnapped?”

“You know just as well as I do the chances of someone being able to kidnap Echo Azgeda are almost zero.” She stood. “Will you excuse me for a moment, I’ll be right back.” Bellamy smiled nodding, he knew she had been itching to read that letter since he gave it to her.

He nursed his drink as he formed a plan in his head to get Clarke and Madi to the safe house as soon as possible. He had to do it tonight, if someone got suspicious Clarke would be their first target. It was just so damn difficult with both of them being watched and followed all the time, but he would have to think of something. A few minutes later Diyoza returned from the bathroom. He wanted to discuss it with Diyoza, but they couldn’t let anything slip. She was laughing at something on her phone as she walked back to their booth, she handed him the phone as she sat back down. “Read this joke, it might make you feel better.” She lied. He took the phone, she typed a text without sending it, texts and e-mails could easily be intercepted.

**Diyoza:** No on P52, trust misplaced. Get Clarke to The Bunker Restaurant. Exit window at the back of the bathroom. Shaw in a black SUV will meet you at 8. Code: Linoleum. I will make sure the girl is safe. Once missing person’s case is opened I can find documents.

His smile was crooked. “Sorry I’m not really in the mood for jokes right now.”

She flipped her head to left and pursed her lips. “Oh well, thought it might cheer you up a little.” She finished the rest of her drink. “So what are you going to do about it?”

“I’m going to tell her.” He declared without any real excitement. “Right now.” He knocked back the rest of his drink as well and placed some cash on the table, which she took and quickly replaced with his letter. “Thanks for the chat.” He said and headed to the door. He was going to break Clarke’s heart right now in the very same spot she had told him she loved him for the first time, he would have to lie and tell her he realized he had made a mistake and that he still loved her. _This is for her own good. Just look at the bigger picture._ He reminded himself and took out his phone to call her. She answered almost instantly.

“Bellamy hi, are you okay?” Real concern in her voice.

“I take it you’ve heard?”

“Yeah, Octavia called me. I’m so sorry Bell, you must be devastated?”

“I think it may be for the best.” He lied adding some sadness to his voice.

There was a pause before she spoke again. “Uh, what… why?” She clearly wasn’t expecting this.

“Your voicemail, last night” He knew all ‘the ears’ had heard her little declaration, including Echo, Clarke’s phone was definitely bugged. “I didn’t want to admit it, but I can’t deny it, Echo must have realized it too, that’s why she left.” He wanted to bite his lip and close his eyes as he gave her false hope, but he kept a straight face. “Have you had dinner yet?”

Another pause, “You mean, uh… are you saying… Uhm… No, I haven’t had dinner.” She struggled to form a sentence.

“Can you meet me at the The Bunker at 8?”

She sighed. “Bellamy, if this is just about rebound sex like Gina I can’t, I refuse to be that for you, I’m sorry.” This was the second time that Clarke had said that, and he had no idea what she was talking about. He never used Gina for sex, he started dating her a couple of months after they broke up, yeah it may have been a mistake, because his heart wasn’t completely in it, but he never used her. But this wasn’t the time to get into it.

He used her nickname as a form of persuasion. “Princess, please, I need to talk to you, it’s important, I just want to talk, that’s all.”

He imagined a huge smile on her face when she said. “Okay, I’ll meet you at The Bunker at 8. Just to talk. And eat.”

He smiled at her enthusiasm, his plan worked. “Great, do you need me to arrange with Octavia to take care of Madi?”

“No Madi is at a friend’s for the weekend.”

_Perfect._ He thought. He wasn’t very keen on the idea of separating the two of them, but there was no-one he trusted more than Diyoza. “Okay see you at 8. Bye Clarke”

“Bye Bellamy.”

He checked the time on his phone, it was just before 7, so he had a little time. He went home to change into some black jeans and a black sweater. Echo must have placed hidden cameras everywhere so what he did next had to be as subtle as possible. He secured his gun and his badge, and hid a small syringe filled with a sedative in his pocket. Just for in case. He searched for a beanie (and a mask) in the unpacked boxes, he placed the beanie, with the mask underneath, on his head, pulled on a long coat and gloves and left.

When he arrived at the Bunker and went inside he knew exactly why Diyoza had chosen this place, it was dimly lit, and there was an empty entrance hall where the bathrooms were conveniently situated. He went straight to the men’s bathroom, and once again checked for cameras. He locked himself in one of the stalls, placed the mask on his head and checked the time, it was 7:55. He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. This kind of thing was his job, he was thoroughly trained to do this, but this was Clarke and everything had to go perfectly or they would find her and… he didn’t even want to think about that. He dropped his phone in the toilet and when he was sure no one else was still inside the bathroom he left the stall discarding his coat with all his other belongings. He stood securely against the bathroom door and listened for footsteps.  Once he heard someone enter the front door, he took a peek, it wasn’t her, he checked the time again, 7:59. _Come on Clarke, please don’t be late._

The next set of footsteps came from the wrong direction, _please don’t let it be a guy,_ but Murphy’s Law was not on his side, he quickly locked the door. His heart was hammering in his chest, because if Clarke came in right now he would miss his chance, the guy fiddled with the door for a few seconds and left. He unlocked it again and opened it slightly when he was sure the guy was out of sight. Then next moment she came into view at the sliding door entrance, she was beaming from ear to ear as she walked with confidence. He suddenly felt so guilty for doing this to her, she came here expecting some sort of reconciliation. She straightened her hair and her clothes, trying to somehow make herself prettier than she already was, and she looked so damn cute. He watched her carefully as she walked inside, the moment she was in front of the men’s room, he grabbed her, placing his hand over her mouth, dragged her inside and locked the door. She was fighting him and she was strong. “Relax princess, it’s me.” He whispered against her ear. She immediately relaxed.  He threw her purse against the wall, took off her coat and pushed her towards the window at the back, opened it and shoved her through it. She didn’t question him once, she obviously still trusted him completely.

Just as Diyoza promised a black guy in his early thirties appeared helping Clarke down on the other side, Bellamy quickly jumped through too. He gave the guy a questioning look. “Linoleum” The guy answered as he dragged Clarke to his car. Once they were all inside the guy slammed his foot on the gas pedal and sped out of there, if there was a hidden camera in Clarke’s purse they must have seen exactly what went down.

“What the fuck is going on.” Clarke demanded.

He turned to look at her in the back seat. “I’ll explain later, right now I just need you to trust me, we have to get out of here.” He explained instructing her to remove all of her jewelry.

The escape through the window gave them a small head start, but just as he expected someone followed them. Shaw didn’t seem bothered one bit, he swerved from lane to lane in front of, next to and behind other cars trying to get out of view. Eventually he pulled into a Wall Mart parking lot. The brakes screeched to a stop next to a row of parked cars, he didn’t turn the engine off, he handed Bellamy a set of keys and nodded.

Bellamy looked at Clarke and motioned for her to open the door and get down. Both of them got out, hid behind the car and disappeared behind the other cars as they watched Shaw swerve off again. At that moment the car that was trailing them pulled in as well and sped towards Shaw’s car. Bellamy wiped some sweat off his forehead, because the driver didn’t pick up on their escape. They sat hidden behind the cars for a few minutes, he could see Clarke shivering from the cold and fear so he placed his arms around her. She didn’t say anything, but her shivering calmed a bit. When he was sure they were sort of safe, he pushed the alarm button on the key, and his eyes landed on a blue BMW that lit up. He sort of crawled to it, and gestured for Clarke to follow, trying very hard to stay out of sight.

They got in, Bellamy drove as normal as possible, in order to avoid any attention. Clarke opened her mouth to say something but he placed his index finger in front of his lips to quiet her, he gestured towards his clothes and his ear, trying to tell her that even their clothes could be bugged. Although he highly doubted it, he wasn’t taking any chances. He pointed to the glove compartment, she opened it, inside was a list of instructions and some cash. Her eyes went wide and she gave him a surprised look as she pointed to the address on the instructions: Grounders apartments, unit 6, 34 Cage Street, Lakeside, Jacksonville. He nodded, and he couldn’t help but smile at her expression.

She didn’t find his lack of concern amusing so she turned to stare out of the window, she sat like that for a long time as he drove until she eventually nodded off. After driving for almost three hours they were in New York. He pulled into the first 24-hour department store he could find in Brooklyn. He shook Clarke lightly hoping it would wake her, she was a little confused but she sat up straight. She was just about to say something when she bit her tongue as she remembered the no talking rule. They bought some food, clothes, toiletries, hair dye, some other disguising mechanisms and a duffel bag. Afterwards they found a motel that didn’t look to dodgy and got a room. Once inside they changed into their new clothes and he immediately disposed of the old ones. The room was nice enough for a one night stay, the walls were an ugly shade of brown, a double bed made with blue and brown patterned sheets, two bedside tables and a small desk. The bathroom was strikingly white with just a bath, toilet and a basin. But it had all they needed. He felt a sudden calm wash over him as he lay down on the bed.

“Finally,” Clarke breathed as she sat down next to him and opened her pack of chips. “What. Is. Going. On?” She asked, very serious. He didn’t say anything, just handed her the letter he had saved. She read it, he could see how her eyes turned from angry to hurt as she read. “My father was murdered?” She asked as tears were forming in her eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Clarke, I’m so sorry about this. Come here.” He pulled her closer to him and held her, trying to comfort her, but how could he comfort her when she had just found out her father’s death wasn’t an accident, he was murdered? “Clarke, I know this is a lot to take in right now, but I need you to be strong, we will find those documents and expose them, they will pay for what they’ve done, I promise you.”

She nodded slightly. “How? What’s the plan here, what’s P52? Cause it looks like we’re just running away and do you really still trust her, do you think she wants to help us?”

He shook his head. “We’re not following P52, Protocol 52 is an emergency witness protection evacuation, but Diyoza arranged with a friend, Shaw, to help us instead, I have no idea how, but she did.” He stole one of her chips. “The plan was to kidnap you, and make it look like both of us were taken, your parents will obviously report you missing, so Diyoza will have to start investigating, which will give her the means to find the documents. We will need your help though, you are going to be a detective for a couple of days too, I’m assuming your father hid it somewhere only you know about, I’ll send encrypted e-mails to Diyoza to let her know of places it might be.”

Clarke glared at him and then looked down. “What about Madi, Octavia and Diyoza and my mom?”

“Diyoza promised me she’ll look after Madi, which means she will be protected 24/7. Clarke, she’s got school and this is still dangerous, there’s a million things that could go wrong, Madi is safer at home. Diyoza will take care of your parent’s as well, but as long as they don’t know anything, they should be safe. As for O and Diyoza, I feel sorry for the person that picks a fight with them.”

That got a laugh out of her, but it stopped as quickly as it started. “So everything you said on the phone was a lie?”

There was the question he had been dreading. He didn’t look at her, he felt too ashamed. “Yes.” She didn’t say anything to that, she threw her empty chips packet in the trash can, got under the covers and faced away from him. He got under the covers too and stared at the roof. “I’m sorry, it was the only way to get you there. It was all I could think of to make them believe why I would have dinner with you moments after I was about to marry someone else, they would have heard your voicemail, so I just went with it.” Still radio silence. “Night Clarke.” He turned the other way and closed his eyes.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When Clarke’s alarm woke her at 4am, Bellamy was almost on top of her, and all their limbs were intertwined. They must have moved closer to each other during the night, she was still upset about last night so she tried to untangle herself, but he pulled her closer. She glanced at him, he was still asleep. “Bell, we have to get up.”

“I know Princess, 5 more minutes.” He mumbled, his eyes still closed. She didn’t know whether he was dreaming or not, because he spoke in his sleep quite often, but he was talking to her, unless he called Echo Princess too. _Probably the latter._ She decided, but she was definitely going to ask him about it. She didn’t want to get her hopes up, but she had a feeling that the only person he had lied to yesterday was himself, she knew him so well, the soft way he looked at her, the way he held her like he wanted to take all her hurt and worries onto himself. Sure he had a lot of stuff to work out first, and his heart was definitely broken too, but she would help him heal and open his eyes over the next few days, just like Lexa showed her the truth. And when the time was right she was going to tell him the truth. Obviously they would need _a lot_ of time to get back to them, but for now she had hope.

She shook his arm. “Bellamy, wake up.”

“Uuuurgghhh.” He groaned. “Okay. I’m up.” She playfully hit him with a pillow.

“Hey,” He hit her back. “don’t start a fight you can’t win Princess.” There it was again, he kept calling her that, it made her damn heart flutter. So she hit him again.

“Why do you keep calling me that?” She was curious.

She could see the embarrassment on his face, like he just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “I don’t know, force of habit I guess.” He admitted.

“Did you call Echo that too?”

“No of course not.” He stated like it was common sense. She grinned, her theory was starting to gain even more weight.

He helped her dye her hair red, luckily it only lasted 6 weeks, because it wasn’t a good look for her. She cut his hair and both of them took a quick shower. He shaved his beard, which almost completely transformed his look, he looked years younger, and his strong jaw was prominent again. The guy she was now looking at was her Bellamy, he looked good. They added beanies, sunglasses, scarves and anything else that could conceal them. They drove off before the sun rose.

They drove for 9 hours, taking turns at the wheel, stopping as little as they could, until they were utterly exhausted. They slept over in some small town in North Carolina and left the next morning before dawn once again for the last leg of their journey. She could see Bellamy getting more and more tense and distant as they drove, the affection he had shown towards her long forgotten. The Bellamy that insulted her at the bar slowly returning, she could also see the hurt he was feeling in his eyes. Finally after another 6 hours on the road the sign “Grounders Apartments” came into view, from the outside it looked a lot like holiday homes, all of the apartments were ground units, the walls painted beige, the doors and windows a rusty brown, they parked the car in front of unit 6, got the keys from the glove compartment and stepped inside.

The inside wasn’t much different to her current apartment, a lot smaller though, the kitchen was tiny, but it had all the basics and it was modern and neat, the living room was attached to the kitchen, which fit only 2 couches, a coffee table and a television, one of the walls was a bookshelf filled with books, on the other side big sliding doors that walked out onto a patio and a miniscule garden. There were two bedrooms, and a bathroom which reminded her a lot of the motels they stayed at. “Well this is Suburban Bliss.” Clarke remarked.

“Well what were you expecting Clarke, a secluded cabin in the woods that would stand out like a sore thumb? The whole point of witness protection is to blend in. We are just a regular couple moving in together.” He explained. “Or is this not fit for a princess?” He sneered.

“Oh grow up Bellamy it’s getting old.” She snapped back. He didn’t say anything to that just held up his hands in surrender and went back to the car to fetch their duffle bag.

After they settled in he declared. “I need real food and a drink.”

Clarke’s lips pulled into a smile, because damn she had missed his cooking. “Are you cooking?”

“Damn right I’m cooking. What do you feel like?” She gave him a small pleading, pouty look that made him snicker. “Another night, I’m exhausted. I just want to throw something together quick. How about taco salad?”

“Yeah that sounds good too. Anything’s better than my cooking.”

“I thought you would have gotten better at it now that you’re a mom.”

“I’ve tried, very hard, but it still tastes like cardboard or charcoal. It just isn’t my thing.”

He shook his head. “So what did you eat Clarke? Was Madi’s mom a decent cook?”

She laughed a little embarrassed. “No we were both pretty useless in that department. Microwave dinners, packets, sometimes I attempted to cook, at one stage I got a food delivery service, but that wasn’t much better than my own cooking.” She admitted as a little bit of pink creeped into her cheeks. “But I’m a good mom otherwise, I promise.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you are.” His words were genuine. “I can see how much you love her.”

“I do, I’m going to miss her so much.” She hugged herself. “We start working first thing in the morning, I can’t wait to get back, I’m so worried about her.”

“I’ll get an update from Diyoza every day. I’m sorry about all of this Clarke.” Clarke nodded. “Okay but let’s go get some food and drinks.” He continued as his stomach rumbled. He hadn’t eaten much over the last few days, junk food just wasn’t his thing.

They went grocery shopping, Bellamy cooked and the food was amazing as usual. Clarke cleaned the kitchen, took a shower and blow dried her hair, she was sort of avoiding him, because he was still tense, he was quiet while he cooked and they ate. She walked to the shelf of books to find something to read. He was sitting on the patio, a bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand. _This can’t be good, he’s drinking straight from the bottle._ She thought as she watched him, but she didn’t do or say anything, she found a medical book that seemed interesting and returned to her room to read. After about an hour she heard him screaming and glass shattering. She still didn’t intrude, he needed this, his heart was broken, he was betrayed by the woman he loved, he needed to let his emotions out, so she just left him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next morning Bellamy woke with one hell of a hangover. As he approached the kitchen Clarke was standing over the stove singing some pop song and dancing, she didn’t hear him come in. “Morning.” He made his presence known.

He definitely startled her, she stopped and straightened as she turned around to face him. “Bellamy, oh, you’re up. How are you feeling?”

“Terrible but don’t let me interrupt you.” He gestured for her to continue.

Her cheeks went crimson. He had no idea why, because this wasn’t the first time he had seen her singing and dancing. She cleared her throat. “So you want some scrambled eggs?”

“Nah, I’m not feeling so good.”

“You have to eat something for that hangover. You need all your strength today. I promise you, scrambled eggs is something I actually can make.” She chided.

She had a point. “Okay, let me just have some orange juice first.” He said as he opened the fridge to pull out the bottle, he poured himself a glass and downed it. The cool, sweet liquid instantly soothed his dry mouth.

Clarke dished up some toast and scrambled eggs for both of them and they sat down at the kitchen island to eat. It was really good, just as she promised and it somehow made him feel a little better. “So how do we start?” She asked as she placed her knife and fork down.

“We write everything down, no matter how trivial it may seem. And obviously by process of elimination, we will find it.” He got up and cleared the table to wash up. Clarke left to find the notebook and pens they had bought yesterday and sat down at the island again. “Damn I wish we had a whiteboard, but I guess this will have to do for now.” He told her over his shoulder as he packed the dishwasher.

“Okay so what types of places would be most likely?” She asked.

“I can’t answer that question, only you can, but let me give you an example. The letter that Echo wrote, she hid it in a pair of pumps that I knew she would never wear. She knew I would know she wouldn’t wear something like that, yet it was in her luggage for our honeymoon.” He tried to clarify what type of things to look out for. “See, you knew your father very well, you guys were extremely close, so you would have to think of any type of clue he might have left.”

“Why are the Queen’s so sure I would know, why not my mom or his lawyers?” She sounded a little frustrated.

He joined her at the island. “I don’t know, but it seems like they’ve done their homework properly and seems like their convinced only you would know.”

She sat with her head in her hands, her elbows propped up on the table. “Sorry Bell, but what if Echo was lying in that letter, what if she wanted to get you and me out of the way to zoom in on it herself?”

He flipped his head to look at her, because that thought was very adroit. “I thought about that too, but it just didn’t make sense, if that was their plan, they would have done it while you were in Chicago, they had two and a half years.” He balled his fists as the anger started building up again. “They need you Clarke, which might even be why you’re still alive.” He acknowledged somberly. “But let’s start with the obvious stuff.”

“You know all of that, I’ve told you almost everything about him. I miss him so much Bell.  I wish he could’ve met you and Madi and everyone. He would’ve loved you.” The sorrow clear in her voice.

He put his arm around her. “I know this is hard Pri… Clarke” He corrected himself quickly.

She giggled. “You can call me Princess, I don’t mind. As long as it’s meant with endearment and not condescension.”

He smiled. “Yeah okay. Good. Cause even after all this time it’s difficult to let go of the habit. But anyway, I thought about the notes he left in your lunches, do you think there might be something in there?”

“Maybe, that would be the first place to start, I guess, there’s a box in my apartment labelled ‘Dad’, there’s all sorts of memories in there, there could be a clue in any of those notes, letters or Christmas cards.”

He gestured for her to write it down as he stood to start pacing. “Okay make a list of places, objects and other things, like songs that you both liked.”

She nodded. “Places are easy, the Arkadia Art Museum, we went there often, the Marketplace, Luigi’s,” she listed on her fingers “and the Park,” She looked at him. “that’s how I got into the habit.”

“Yeah I know, I remember.” He contemplated whether he should tell her for a second. “I still go.” He admitted looking down.

“I know.” She stated. “Diyoza told me, why did you go alone though?”

“It was my quiet time.” She didn’t seem to accept his answer. “It didn’t feel right taking her to our spot.”

“Why’d you go at all?”

“Actually I really don’t know, to clear my head and watch the kids, imagine my own, like we used to do.” He answered as honestly as possible. “Anyway, so I’ve actually been meaning to ask you, when did you talk to Diyoza and what did she tell you?” He asked curiously.

“The night before your wedding. She ‘ran into me’ at the bar.” She mimicked inverted commas. “She said a lot of things, she didn’t explicitly say it, but I could tell she didn’t trust Echo for some reason. She asked me to call you and stop the wedding.”

He rolled his eyes at the ridicule of the situation, Diyoza knew something and thought Clarke may be able to stop it, that’s why Clarke had called him, she was scared for him. Octavia must have said some things to her too. Clarke was probably their best bet, because if they came to him with it, he would have gotten angry, and both of them knew it. “So all the things you said, that was a lie too?” He asked her.

She bit her lip and looked away. “No, it wasn’t.”

He just gazed at her for a moment. “How?”

She frowned. “You wanna know how I love you?”

“No I mean I don’t understand, you had this perfect girlfriend in Chicago, and from what I’ve gathered you guys were very happy for a long time.”

“ _She_ opened my eyes, I didn’t really admit it to myself until after she had died, and I didn’t really fully realize it until Diyoza pointed it out to me, I loved her very much, but I don’t think I was ever really in love with her, because I was still in love with you.”

He blinked. Not sure whether he had just heard her correctly. “You what?”

She dismissed his question and tapped her pen against the page. “Bell, we have work to do.”

“Oh, uh, yeah.” He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to focus on the case after that bomb she had just dropped on him, she never for one second stopped loving _him_ , but he didn’t understand why, he had a million questions he would have to ask her later. “Let’s start with places, days you visited them, significant things about them and so on.”

They continued talking and writing down every small detail Clarke could think of. They worked until about 4pm, and then he went to the internet café to send Diyoza an encrypted e-mail about the investigation, he didn’t like leaving Clarke alone unprotected, but he didn’t want her out in the open for too long either, the more she stayed hidden, the better.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Their days became monotonous and predictable, every morning Bellamy woke up late with a hangover, she would cook breakfast, do laundry or other chores, afterwards they would jot down facts and work on some theories about her father, he would send it to Diyoza, she replied with updates on Madi, her parents and the case, one being the fact that her box of memories had been stolen. He would come home, cook dinner and after they ate, as soon as she started cleaning, he would go sit on the patio and drink whatever they had. He was giving her whiplash. He was nice during their conversations about her father, but as soon as he left he became someone else. She was understanding and patient with him for the first few days, but she had had enough. They weren’t making any progress, she missed Madi and her home, all this talk about her father made her overly emotional and he just seemed like he didn’t care. She didn’t want to seem insensitive, she knew he was going through a hard time too, but fuck a girl can take only so much. She marched to the patio. “Bell, I can’t keep this up, I can’t do this anymore, you have to talk to me, you can’t keep doing this night after night.” She stated, with her voice slightly raised.

“This is none of your business Clarke, just go inside.” His tone was soft.

“I can’t, we’ve been here for 6 days and we haven’t made any progress, I miss my family, I miss Madi, I wanna go home. You have a hangover every single day, which means you aren’t able to perform at your best, you only speak to me when you have to, the rest of the time you ignore me and I just can’t watch you do this to yourself anymore, please Bell, I’m here, just stop drinking and talk to me, I’m starting to think you have a problem.” She took a breath and looked straight at him “This isn’t you, I know we all fall off the wagon sometimes, but I can help you back up, I want to help you back up.”

He wordlessly stared straight ahead. She was hoping she would get through to him, but he didn’t pay her any attention. She was just about to head back inside, when he grabbed her by the arm. “You’re right. It’s just, when we’re working, the focus on the case distracts me, but as soon as I become even a little idle the pain returns, I loved her Clarke, I loved her and I trusted her.”  And suddenly the gates that had been keeping his tears at bay flooded open. She sat down on his lap, for some reason she didn’t care what she was doing, she just wanted to comfort him, she put her arms around him and just held him as he cried.

“I know, I’m so sorry, this is actually all my fault, this whole mess, everything.”

He didn’t say anything, he held onto her like she was his strength, his body shook as he cried, her blue sweater wet from his tears, but she didn’t mind, she wanted him to be vulnerable with her. “Do you know how I wished I could hold onto you like this when Lexa had died?” She whispered into his curls. “That’s the reason I hung your sketch, I spoke to you, you were my rock, I wanted to call you and tell you how much I needed you, but I couldn’t” She confessed.

This got his attention, he lifted his head from her shoulder and looked straight into her eyes. “You should have, I would’ve jumped on the first plane to Chicago and held you just like you’re doing now.” His voice even more gravelly than usual from the crying.

“I’m not sure I believe you. I’ve been told you hate me.” She mocked.

“I tried so hard, I kept telling myself and everyone else I did, I wanted to, I still want to, but I could never hate you. I just… it’s hard for me being around you, you have no idea how much you hurt me, what that did to me, every time I’m with you, I’m right back there where you left me and my heart breaks all over again. But no,” He shook his head “I don’t hate you, I still care about you, very much.”

She smiled. “Come on, I’ve got something else that numbs the pain, it’s better than drinking.” She pulled him up and led him to the kitchen. She grabbed a brush, a bucket and some tile cleaner and held it out to him. “Scrubbing the floor, just take out all your frustrations on that floor, I promise, it works.”

He looked at her a little confused. “Is this your way of asking me to clean the floor?”

“Tried and tested. It really does help.” She smirked.

“What got you so upset that you decided scrubbing floors was a good idea?” He was intrigued.

“Your wedding.” She stated casually.

“Oh.” He realized.

She got a brush for her as well, filled the bucket with water and some tile cleaner, got down on her knees and started scrubbing. He did the same, so they brushed, scrubbed, laughed and splashed until the kitchen and living room floor was sparkling. “Feel better?” She asked when they were done.

A smile started pulling at the end of his lips as he slowly nodded. “Yeah, actually I do feel a little better. But not because of the scrubbing, because of you.” He declared.

Her heart warmed, because she had made him feel better. From that night there was a shift in the air. Everything was better, he was still sad sometimes, but she managed to somehow cheer him up. They worked a lot harder on the case, but the clues that they needed was in that box that was stolen. Diyoza paid a visit to her father’s attorney, but he explained that he didn’t know of anything else except the assets that was already in the trust. They searched everywhere and went through everything Clarke could think of, from trips she took with him as a kid, to stories he read her, to food he cooked, anything that could be of use they tried, but Clarke was sure the clues they needed was in that box and she would be the only one who could decipher them.

The days dragged on, she sometimes cried a little over Madi, then Bellamy comforted her and she did the same for him, but one day her longing and fear for Madi became a little too much. “Why can’t we just go back?” She asked as they were playing Chess. “Why can’t you just move in with us for a while and protect us from there?” She asked, her voice desperate.

“I understand your frustration Princess, but right now they have no idea where you are. Which means they’re focusing a lot of their resources on finding us and if we do go home and Diyoza continues the case, people are going to start asking questions, including your mom, Marcus and Madi and that will put them at risk. Besides you’re much safer if they don’t know where you are.” He tried to console her. “Tell you what, tomorrow we won’t work on the case at all, I’m gonna teach you how to shoot.”

True to his word the next morning he took her to the shooting range. “Ready to be a badass Clarke?” He asked as he placed the earmuffs over her head. He showed her how to remove the safety, load and hold the gun and aim, but there wasn’t much to it. She did exactly as he instructed aimed it at the target in front of her and pulled the trigger. As the bullet left the gun and pushed her slightly backwards it almost felt like the first orgasm Bellamy had ever given her. All her senses was on high and adrenaline pulsed through her veins. “That. Felt. Amazing.” She exclaimed.

He laughed. “Yeah that wasn’t bad, not quite the bullseye, but still in the chest.” He praised.

“Ok your turn.” Obviously this was second nature to him, he does target practice once or twice a week. He made it look effortless, he aimed and shot all of his rounds in an almost perfect circle around the bullseye. “Show off.” She joked as she stepped forward to take another shot, every shot she fired became easier and better and she had so much fun, he really did take her mind off of everything, she just couldn’t imagine a better person to be ‘locked up’ with.

When they got home he made some popcorn and they watched the least romantic DVD they could find. She fell asleep on his lap somewhere in the middle, but she woke as he wiped the hair out of her face. “Hey” He smiled at her.

“Hey” She replied.

“Time for me to make dinner.” He said pointing to his watchless arm. “I’ll make your favorite tonight.”

She sat up. “Thanks for today, that really helped.”

“Anytime Princess.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Days turned into weeks, at least things between her and Bellamy were good and according to Diyoza both Madi and her parents were safe, they were being watched like a hawk, she was still terrified that they would take Madi as a hostage, but she trusted that she was safe with Octavia, Lincoln, Diyoza and her parents watching out for her. They weren’t able to contribute much to the case anymore, Diyoza’s team was searching far and wide for that box, both parties had a crucial piece of the puzzle, and both parties would move mountains to find the other. So instead Bellamy read and she sketched, they played cards, chess and board games, watched movies and talked for hours about anything and everything, it was just as easy as always, they were in their own little cocoon, but that’s where she felt safe.

Eventually after six weeks Bellamy declared that they had to move, they had been in one place for too long, The Queen’s would start closing in on them soon. “I know it’s weird, but I’m going to miss this place.” She said as she sat down on the couch with a glass of wine the night before they were set to leave again.

“Yeah I know what you mean.” Bellamy agreed.

She took a sip of her drink. “I’ve never been to Texas.” She admitted.

“Me neither.”

“This gives me an idea.” She said with a mischievous grin.

“Sounds dangerous.” He remarked.

“Get a drink. We’re playing Never Have I ever.” She was filled with excitement.

“We know almost everything about each other Clarke, but ok, it seems like a challenge.” He got up to get a beer out of the fridge.

“Yes.” She pumped her fist in the air. “Okay I’ll go first, never have I ever milked a cow.” Bellamy drank. “Really when?”

“Junior high, school trip. Okay, never have I ever slept with a guy.”

“Really never?” She teased and took a sip. “Just you.”

“I know. Your turn.”

“Hhhmmmm, let’s see, I’ve never smoked pot.”

He shook his head. “Nope not touching that shit, but you knew that.” He slipped down to sit on the floor with his knees propped up. “I’ve never skinny dipped.”

Clarke thought about it for a second and shook her head. “Never have I ever dreamt of someone other than my partner.” He clenched his teeth and took a sip. Clarke drank as well. “Please do tell.” She encouraged.

“Wait, did you just drink because you are guilty?”

“Yeah, but you go first, explain.” She nudged him on with her hands.

“Does celebrities count? Cause I’ve dreamt about a few models…”

She cut him off. “No, celebrities doesn’t count.”

He tried hard to hide his embarrassment, it was so cute. “Okay, well, here goes. I dreamt of you, when I was with Gina and Echo.”

She could feel her face light up.  “I dreamt of you too, with Finn and Lexa.”

“I felt horrible” He confessed.

“Yeah me too. Okay your turn.”

He was quiet for a few moments as he thought of something. “Okay I’ve got something. Never have I ever kept a secret from my partner.” She eyed him trying to figure out whether this question was random or aimed at her, but she drank. “Tell me.” He pressed, it wasn’t random.

She took a deep breath anticipating how she was going to do it, but she decided to just blurt it out. “I can’t have kids, I’m infertile.”

His eyes went wide with shock and he nearly choked on his sip of beer, he sat their dumbstruck. She didn’t say anything either, she gave him time to process it. After a few minutes he finally spoke. “That’s why you got tense when I talked about having a family?”

“Yes.”

“Start at the beginning, tell me everything.” He demanded

She slipped down onto the floor to sit across from him and breathed, she swallowed the lump forming in her throat. “A few weeks before your accident my period was late, so I thought I was pregnant, and I was so happy about it, but I took a few pregnancy tests and they were all negative.” She started. “Eventually I made an appointment with my Ob-gyn, they ran some tests and discovered I have premature menopause and I would never have kids.” Tears started slipping out, she took a sip of her wine. “I knew how much you loved kids and wanted kids so I just couldn’t do it to you. I had it all planned out. I asked to be transferred to Chicago, I was going to leave and eventually the time and distance would come between us, but then you –“

“Proposed” He finished for her, tears were forming in his eyes as well.

“Yeah, but that’s not all. I went back to Arkadia the next day to say goodbye to my mom and Marcus and get the last of my things. My mom made me realize what a colossal mistake I had made, and she explained that we had lots of other options such as egg donors, or adoption, but she also said that you would have loved me no matter what because you’re love was unconditional.” Clarke was now full on crying. “So I rushed over to your apartment and I let myself in, and then… and then” she sniffed through the tears.

“And then what?”

“I heard her with you. In your room. So I bolted to my car and left.” She sobbed.

“Who? What are you talking about?” He must have connected the dots. “Oh Clarke no, that’s not what happened at all.” He tried to wipe the tears from her face. “I got way past drunk at the bar, Gina took me home, put me to bed and left.” He ran his hands through his curls.  “I couldn’t even look at Gina or any other woman for months, even then all I saw was you.” He placed his hands over his face and breathed into them. “I thought I wasn’t good enough for you.”

“Are you crazy, I love you more than anything, except maybe Madi, but that’s different.” She tried to joke, but it fell flat. “Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah”

“If I had told you before the wedding, would you have married her?” She looked straight into his deep brown eyes expecting blatant honesty.

“I don’t know.” He moved closer towards her, their eyes still locked. “Probably not.” Then his lips were on hers, she opened her mouth slowly and kissed him back, lavishing in the feeling she had craved for so long. For a few moments it was gentle and sleek, their lips and noses barely touching, but suddenly he deepened the kiss and their tongues started dancing around each other.

His hand slipped down to the hem of her shirt and he pulled it up, she lifted her arms in the air so he could pull it over her head, he unhooked and discarded her bra, he gently squeezed her breasts and rubbed her nipples. “I’ve missed these so much.” He whispered. “Come on.” He lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist, her hands were in his curls, massaging his scalp, while their lips still brushed.

He laid her down on his bed like she was a porcelain doll, placed his knees on either side of her thighs and hovered just above her, but they breathed the same air. “I’m so sorry Princess, about everything, I wish I could just take it all –“She placed a finger over his lips, cupped his cheek, pulled him closer and kissed him again, softly. She felt him sneak his hand into her shorts, underneath her panties. “You’re soaking.” He remarked, whereupon she just nodded, he knew her well enough not to ask any further questions, he knew she wanted this as much as he did, and maybe one of them would regret it in the morning, but right now she wanted nothing but him. She felt like a force field when he touched her like this and she yearned for more. 

He pulled his t-shirt over his head and she could see his pupils were blown. She slowly traced the freckles on his muscular body until her hands landed on the waist of his sweatpants, she pulled it down along with his boxers and he stepped out of them exposing him completely. She giggled a bit as his erection sprang free and hit him on the stomach. He ignored her and seemed to be relishing in every part of her body as well, he pulled down her shorts and panties touching and kissing her everywhere like he lost his favorite toy and all of a sudden found it again. After a few minutes of getting reacquainted with each other’s bodies, he lined himself up at her entrance, she was a little nervous, because it had been a long time, but the exhilaration trumped the nerves by miles.

He pushed inside, at first just the tip, giving her a moment to adjust to his size, it did hurt a little, because she had to stretch to accommodate him, but only for a second. She locked her legs around him as he started thrusting. “Oh baby, this feels so good, it’s like we were made to fit like this.” He said in an almost trance, he didn’t go fast, he dragged it out for almost an hour, sending a surge of electricity through her with every thrust, he continued playing with her breasts and the rest of her body as he gently moved inside her until the stimulation became too much but not enough for her.

“Bell, please, I can’t… I need more?”

“Okay princess, I got you.”  And suddenly he started pounding into her, their bodies slapping together, he didn’t even need to touch her clit, because an intense orgasm ripped through her body, raising the hair on her skin and blowing her mind away, it took only a few more thrusts for him until she felt his warm seed seeping into her, and then he collapsed on top of her. She was so sensitive, that she felt like she needed another shower. She tried to slip out underneath him, but he was too limp and strong.

“Bell, I wanna go take a shower.” He just nodded and lifted a bit so she could get out. When she returned, he was already asleep. She lay down next to him, he looked so peaceful. She wiped the curls out of his face and tried to count all of his adorable freckles. She curled into his side and hoped that it meant the same to him than it did to her, but she felt it, he didn’t just sleep with her, he made love to her, she knew the difference, yet a little doubt filled her mind.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When Bellamy’s alarm woke him at 4am once again, he was confused for a second, it was still dark out, because they had to head out before dawn. He felt his princess’ arm around his chest and smiled. She never left him, she never actually wanted to leave him, he was enough for her, but she felt like she wasn’t enough for him because she wasn’t able to give him a child. All the hurt and anger he felt towards her disappeared as soon as the words left her mouth, and his blindfold was removed as well, he never stopped loving her either, he completely understood how she felt, because he felt it too, he just locked it away and filled his heart with anger and resentment towards her instead.

He pulled on his boxer shorts and went to the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee. She joined him seconds later. “Morning.” She sat down at the island. “So about last night, I don’t want you to feel bad about it, we got caught up in the moment, and we had sex, it’s nothing, we can just forget about it.”

He walked towards her and turned her around to face him “Just sex?” he tilted her head back. “Didn’t mean anything?” he brushed his thumb over her lips. “We just got caught up in the moment?” He whispered in her ear.

“Yeah.” She breathed.

“Yeah? You didn’t feel anything?” He teased and starting sucking at her pulse point. She opened her mouth to say something when he heard someone clear their throat behind him.

“Guess I did you a favor.” And he immediately knew who that voice belonged to.

He spun around. “Echo? What are you doing here? How did you get in?” She didn’t say anything, just stood with her arms crossed in front of her chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another cliffhanger... I struggled a little with the escape scene, it took quite a bit of planning, I hope it's realistic, but I loved writing Bellarke in their own little bubble. This is my favorite chapter.


	13. Trust issues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally here is the next chapter. So sorry once again for the long wait. I have already started with my next fic, but decided I will complete it first before posting. Just a quick thanks to my sister who helps me with the storyline and editing.
> 
> WARNING ONCE AGAIN. This chapter gets very dark.

Bellamy glared at Echo with narrowed eyes. “I asked you a question.” He challenged, sure to cover Clarke with his entire body, he wouldn’t let Echo touch a hair on Clarke’s body if she was lying.

Echo relaxed a bit. “By doing my job Bellamy, I’m good at figuring things out, remember?” Like nothing happened, she closed the gap between them, “You have no idea how much I’ve missed you.”  she hooked her arms around his neck and kissed him. He wasn’t sure whether it was familiarity but he kissed her back for a moment before he gently pushed her away.

“No, this isn’t happening, you can’t just walk in here and pretend like nothing happened. You lied to me for years. Now tell me, what are you doing here?” He demanded, he hadn’t even realized Clarke wasn’t behind him anymore until she appeared pointing a gun at Echo. “Whoa Clarke what are you doing?” He held out his hand in front of the gun, trying to stop her. “Put down the gun.” She didn’t move. “Please?”

Her hands seemed to shiver with fury, her face serious. “She killed my father, she spied on me, she lied to you, I don’t trust her one bit.” Clarke hollered seemingly unwilling to lower the gun.

Echo held her hands in the air. “I had nothing to do with your father’s death.” The brunette corrected her. “Nia raised me, she gave me a home, in her own weird way, she loves me. Being a spy was all I knew.” She sighed. “Until I fell in love with you.” She said looking at Bellamy.

Bellamy slipped behind Clarke and snatched the gun from her hands, he wrapped his one arm around her. “Calm down Clarke, we can talk about this rationally.”

She turned around to face him. “What?” She snorted. “She flutters those pretty little eyelashes of hers at you and all of a sudden you trust her again?”

Bellamy rolled his eyes. “I never said I trusted her. I said let’s hear her out.” He looked at Echo. “So go ahead, enlighten us, what are you doing here?” He encouraged with his hand.

“I came here to help. Everything I said in that letter was the truth. The Queen’s trust me, we can use that to our advantage. And…” She looked away.

“And what?” He asked skeptical.

She turned her head back. “Nia wants you dead.”

It took a moment for her words to sink in. “Why me?” he was curious.

“Because you –“ She started to say, but Clarke cut her off.

“Bellamy I don’t believe a word that comes out of her mouth.”

Bellamy wasn’t sure what to believe, inside of him there was complete turmoil, in a way he wanted to trust Echo but both Clarke and another voice in his head was telling him not to.

“Let me prove it.” Echo pleaded.

“How?” He was still skeptical.

“Before the wedding, Roan played me a recording, that’s why I left, that’s why I couldn’t marry you, it’s on my phone.” She explained, Clarke was glaring at her, it was clear that she despised the woman in front of her. 

“Echo you brought a phone with you, are you out of your mind?” He grabbed Clarke by the arm to get her out of there as soon as possible.

“Relax Bellamy,” She sing-songed pulling him back. “it’s a burner phone, I saved the recording onto an SD card, I’ll just insert it into the phone.”

He still wasn’t convinced but gave her the benefit of the doubt, “Okay.” He nodded. “You have one minute to convince me we can trust you.”

Echo nodded once, she slipped her backpack off and took both the phone and the small chip out and carefully placed it into the slot. She opened the recording, held it out for both him and Clarke to see and pressed play.

The recording started.

“Good evening mam, I was told you wanted to see me.” A man’s voice said.

“Yes, have a seat.” A woman, probably Nia started. “I’ve been told you’re doing a great job, I’ve been watching you, you fit in well, your ambitious, you do more than what’s expected of you, which is probably why you are still here at almost midnight on a Friday. You’re not scared to do what it takes to get what you want.” She praised.

“I try my best.” He said humbly.

“I have a little assignment for you.”

“Sure anything mam?” The man assured her.

“When I ran a background check on you, I learned that you have gotten yourself into a little pickle with some debt and your father has revoked your allowance?” Nia sounded cunning.

“Yes that’s correct,” A waver in his voice, “but with all due respect I’m not sure what that has to do with anything?”

“What if I were to promote you to operations manager and triple your current salary?”

“I would say that would be great.” He was enthusiastic “So what do you need me to do?”

“May I remind you, you signed an NDA when you were initially employed, so you are not to repeat anything I say. I presume you know Detective Bellamy Blake?” The guy must have nodded because Nia continued. “I need you to kill him.”

“Wh- What? Is this a joke?” He asked concerned.

“Do I look like I joke?” She stated rather than asked very serious. “It all depends how much your job is worth to you.”

“May I ask why?”

There was a click sound and a whoosh before the woman spoke again. “He is set to marry my daughter tomorrow, yet I just received this video footage.”

“What am I looking at?” The man questioned.

“It was recorded via a hidden camera inside their bedroom.”

Bellamy cringed a bit at the thougt of hidden cameras in his bedroom

The video started.

Bellamy immediately recognized it as Clarke’s voicemail the night before the wedding. “Bell, I guess I understand why you’re not answering, but I really have to tell you something, it’s very important, please call me back.” She sighed. “Bell, I still love you, I never stopped.”

For a few seconds it was quiet, then you could hear the mattress squeak as he lay down and the sound of pillows being fluffed. Nia must have forwarded it slightly, because the next moment he heard himself groaning and snoring softly, obviously asleep but the words that came out of his mouth knocked his socks off. “Love you too Princess.” He mumbled sleepily.

The video came to a stop.

“What do you need me to do?” The man was suddenly eager.

“I thought that might convince you. I have another assignment for you if this one goes according to plan, one I think you will thoroughly enjoy. Currently their wedding bands are at the jeweler being cleaned, the best man will collect them in the morning, I need you to swap Bellamy’s ring with this one.” She paused and probably handed him the object. “It contains a deadly contact poison…”

Echo stopped the recording. “I have no idea who she is talking to, but he basically signed his death warrant right there.”

“I do.” Clarke spoke up. Both Bellamy and Echo looked at her inquisitively. “That’s Finn Collins”

“Finn?” He closed his eyes and bit hard on his teeth, it seemed like everything was spiraling out of control. “Echo, can you get Clarke’s box of keepsakes?”

A sinister smile appeared on Echo’s face “Of course I can.”

He nodded at his ex-fiancé. “Would you mind giving us a moment?” He gestured between himself and Clarke.

Echo did not look very pleased with his request but she left the room nonetheless to give them some privacy.

“I know what you’re thinking, but right now she is our only chance of finding those documents.” He suggested.

She bit her lip. “I don’t trust her one fucking bit.”

He took her hand in both of his. “I think she is telling the truth. I know you don’t like this, but it seems like our only choice.”

Her blue eyes looked deep into his. “She is telling the truth about one thing, she does love you and won’t let you die, and neither will I. So ok, let’s do this.” She conceded.

He rubbed his temples “To be honest with you none of this makes any sense to me. I don’t understand why Nia wants me dead and why on earth is Finn involved?”

Echo came back in at that moment. “Well you were dreaming of another woman the night before you were supposed to marry me. More so Nia deems you a threat in her plans with Clarke and as for Finn, well a small grudge and a lot of money can convince almost anyone to kill.” She explained.

“So I assume we’re going back to Arkadia?” Clarke asked Echo.

“Boston.” Echo clarified. “We’ll figure out a plan on the way. Get dressed so we can go.” She motioned for them to follow her.

Bellamy and Clarke shared another look. “After you.” Clarke gestured  for him to go first. They got dressed, once again disguised themselves and were off.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Clarke was still exhausted so she took a nap as soon as they were on the highway. She had been feeling like she was caught up in a tornado for the last six weeks, but now a hurricane had struck her as well. She felt nauseated and a migraine was threatening at the back of her head. Her whole world, everything she knew was turned upside down and she missed Madi to the point of no return. She sat up when she woke. “Where are we? What time is it?” She asked Bellamy.

He sneaked a quick glance at her. “Just past eight. We’re somewhere in South Carolina.”

“Wow. I slept for three hours.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, but that’s good, you should sleep some more, I’ve got this.”

She shook her head. “No, we need a plan.”

“Already worked out.” Echo’s voice came from the passenger seat.

Clarke pursed her lips to prevent herself from lashing out. “Care to enlighten me?”

“Roan is going to help us. He has a beach house, we’ll take you there first. The box is hidden in Nia’s office, Bellamy and I will sneak in with Roan’s help and steal it.” She explained. “Roan will occupy the guards at the entrance, so we can slip past them and shut down the cameras. I can use my key card to get around, but we’ll have to use the air ducts to gain access to her office.”

“How do you know your trust in Roan is deserved?” Clarke asked skeptically

“He was the one who warned me about the rings. I know him, he’s like a brother to me, he won’t let any harm come to me.” She turned towards Clarke in the backseat. “He has never seen eye to eye with his mother, he believes the way she does things are cruel, he’s not like her, he’s good.”

Clarke couldn’t help but feel bad for both Echo and Roan. They didn’t know any better, they were raised by a cold-hearted murderer, she still didn’t trust Echo, but she could see how Bellamy must have changed her. Bellamy taught her how to love and to be kind and selfless.

She suddenly cringed when Bellamy placed his hand on Echo’s thigh and squeezed it. “Thank you. For helping us.” He told her.

 Clarke broke their little spell. “I’m starving, do we have something to eat?”

Echo handed her a protein bar and then turned towards Bellamy. “Babe, why didn’t you just follow my instructions in the letter, this could have all been over by now, we could have been married and sipping cocktails in the Bahamas?”

Bellamy’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. “So it’s that easy huh? You think everything will just magically be fixed between us? You _lied_ to me.” He reminded her. “Diyoza didn’t trust you and neither did I.”

She looked down. “I suppose that’s fair, but I was just scared to tell you the truth, you have no idea how ruthless Nia is. Please just give me a chance, we can fix this, I know we can.”

Bellamy didn’t answer her, Clarke cleared her throat. “I’m still here.”

Echo waved her off. “Need I remind you that you broke his heart, and I was there for him, I helped him pick up the pieces and put them back together.”

“Fuck you. You were instructed to do that and don’t tell me you don’t know why I left.” Clarke snapped at her, all her inhibitions forgotten.

“Maybe, but that was a long time ago, we were happy until _you_ decided make an appearance again.” Echo lashed back.

“Well if he was really as happy as you claim, he wouldn’t have been bothered by my reappearance now would he?” Clarke leered.

“Shut up, both of you, what are you twelve? We’re not doing this now, we’ve got a lot more important things to worry about.” Bellamy put a stop to their little quarrel. Clarke felt sheepish, because yes that was extremely childish, but she couldn’t help the jealousy and this woman just brought out the worst in her.

Echo didn’t seem bothered by her actions. She leaned over to Bellamy’s side, gently rubbed his shoulder and kissed his cheek. “Sorry.” She whispered. He didn’t do anything to stop her, he just kept his eyes focused on the road. That little action just spurred Clarke’s migraine even further. She was right, obviously last night didn’t mean anything to him, it was just sex. When all of this was over Bellamy and Echo would resolve their problems and continue their relationship, she felt like an idiot for getting her hopes up when his heart clearly still belonged to Echo. She felt a small lump making its way into her throat, but she refused to look weak, so she swallowed it. When she looked up again she could see Bellamy eyeing her in his rearview mirror, his features filled with sadness. She moved to the window, leaned her head against it, and stared at all the green surrounding them instead, she didn’t need anyone’s pity, especially not his.

They didn’t stay over anywhere, all three of them took turns driving, and they drove straight through the night. It was six the next morning when they finally arrived at Roan’s beach house in Boston. He must have been anticipating their arrival, because the gates opened instantly and he was waiting on the front porch. Even in the dark the house screamed wealth. The outside was open and inviting, made up mostly of large windows. Clarke immediately thought this was a bad idea, because these windows would easily expose them, even if the property was surrounded by high rock walls and security. Roan must have picked up on her panic. “Relax, this is the last place my mother would look for you.” He tried to comfort extending his hand. “I’m Roan Queen and it is an absolute pleasure to finally meet you.”

Clarke smiled at him, he was charming and gorgeous, buff and muscular. His long cappuccino hair neatly tucked into a bun, a week old stubble decorated his high cheek bones, and accentuated his soft blue eyes, a half-moon scar stood out above the right eye. She gently shook his hand. “Clarke Griffin. The pleasure’s all mine.” Out of the corner of her eye she could see Bellamy tense up at the sight in front of him. _Serves him right._ She thought to herself.

Roan greeted Echo with a kiss on the cheek and shook Bellamy’s hand as well before he welcomed them all inside. The interior was even more beautiful. The walls were all white and soft grey, matching the furniture. Everything was open plan, the kitchen was the only space with dark wood cupboards, all the countertops obviously marble, with a big island separating the kitchen and dining room. The floors were wooden, adorned with expensive grey rugs. The eight seater dining room set was made of maple wood and dove grey upholstery. In the lounge area there was a large fireplace built into the east wall, and the biggest curved TV Clarke had ever seen on the Noth facing wall. Beautiful contemporary art enlivened the walls and open spaces in the room. The lounge suite was a soft white fabric with fifty shades of grey cushions adding some much needed color. Clarke giggled softly at her own dirty mind comparing living room furniture to a S&M novel.

“Glad to see my house amuses you.” Roan remarked.

“Oh you have no idea.” Clarke enticed.

Roan smirked. “I’ve just started a pot of coffee, you can get settled in in the meantime. Let me show you to your rooms.” He started up the stairs and they trailed behind. “Echo, you can stay in the first room. Bellamy, you can have the second –“

Echo interrupted him. “Bellamy will you stay with me?” Echo wrapped her arms around one of his and pulled him towards the door of her assigned room.

“Echo, we can’t just…” Bellamy started explaining, but Roan took Clarke by the arm and led her to the room at the end of the hallway with a big white double door, he slid them apart. “And for our guest of honor, the princess suite.”

“Why am I the guest of honor?” She was curious.

“Because you are going to put an end to my mother’s shenanigans.” He explained.

Clarke couldn’t help but like the guy. He seemed honest and trustworthy and he made her feel at ease. She knew he might be acting, but she had a feeling that he was genuine, not the same kind of vibe she got from Echo. “Well thank you.” She stepped inside. “It must be hard.”

“What?”

“Taking down your mother.”

“Yeah well she’s got it coming.” He cracked his neck. “She has done some horrible things Clarke, she is a greedy, self-serving, power hungry bitch.” He declared.

Clarke widened her eyes at the way he described his own mother. “Wow, you must really hate her.”

“I don’t hate her, but she only cares about those closest to her and feels nothing for the rest of humanity. I’ve tried to reason with her, but it’s impossible. So the only hope for her is to go to jail and redeem herself.” He clarified. “Well I’ll leave you to it, there are some clothes in the closet, don’t know if it’s quite your style, but at least it’s something to wear.”

Clarke stared at the room in front of her, it resembled the decor downstairs. Light piled in at almost every inch of the room and the salty breeze of the ocean filled her nostrils. She peeked out the window, and was met by the mighty waves crashing into the rocks.  There was a kings-sized bed with white sheets and all of the other furniture, the dressing table, lamps and tables unsurprising also white except for the corner couch, which was grey. “This place really needs some color.” She whispered to herself. She opened the closet doors which revealed an en-suite bathroom, also white, at least the marble tops and a strip of tiles were caramel, which stood in stark contrast to the rest of room. The shower was massive, with a pebbled floor, built in racks and soap containers covered by a big glass door, the bath tub next to it, nothing fancy. On the opposite side were two big basins built into the marble, and the whole wall was mirror. All of the taps and fixtures were vintage. “Even the towels are white. Damn he needs a new decorator.” Clarke remarked.

She took a quick shower and wrapped herself in towels. She opened the other set of doors, which actually walked into a closet. Roan was right, the clothes in there were definitely not her, but she found a blue dress that would do. There was a knock on the door. “Yes?”

“Clarke, can I come in?” Bellamy’s voice.

She was still dressed in only a towel, but Bellamy had seen a lot more. “Yes come in.”

He looked a little awkward as he entered and saw what she was wearing. “Uh, I can come back.”

“No. Can you help me figure out the curtains?”

“Uh yes sure.” He picked up the little remote control on the nightstand, pressed a button and all the curtains closed.

“Thanks.”

“There’s a button for the TV and the air conditioners as well.” He didn’t look at her again, just headed for the door. “We’ll meet you in the kitchen when you’re done, we’re discussing our strategy.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After successfully entering Queen Food’s offices, Bellamy and Echo stole some cleaning staff uniforms from the supply closet and changed into them. They were now crawling through the air vents, Nia had a full hour meeting in the board room at eleven, which gave them some time to find the box. “Do you still love her?” Echo whispered as they struggled through the scorching tiny tunnels.

“Now’s not the time Echo.” Bellamy deflected the question.

“Just answer the damn question.” She panted.

“I promise I’ll answer all your questions tonight, let’s just focus on the mission right now.” He reasoned.

These two women were driving him crazy. Clarke and Roan were openly flirting over breakfast, he almost got up and punched the guy and Echo was expecting an answer about their hanging relationship, which he couldn’t give her. _Just focus on the mission, get the box, get out of here, figure out Jake’s clues, and expose Nia._ He managed to regain his composure. When they finally reached Nia’s office Echo peeped through the tiny openings in the seal.

“She’s still in there.” She murmured.

He nodded, they waited in silence for a few minutes until they could hear the office door shut, and then another few minutes just in case she forgot something. As soon as it was safe Echo opened the seal, she jumped down first and closed the blinds. Bellamy followed shortly after. “Okay I’m not sure where it will be, but it’s too big for the safe.” She informed him and handed him a pin to pick the locks on the cabinets. “I’ll start here, you take that side.” She gestured with her hands.

He started with the small cabinets right next to her desk, assuming she would want to keep it close to her. He inserted the pins into the lock, fiddled a bit until it clicked open. He couldn’t believe his luck when he opened the doors and there it was right in front of him. It was almost too easy, like he was meant to find it, but the important thing was, he did find it. He let out a breath of relief. He removed it and showed it to Echo. She nodded once, placed the box in a trash bag and motioned for him to secure his dust mask. Luckily Echo knew the hallways pretty well, she quickly led him to a side exit used for procurement and distribution. Nobody questioned them, they just kept their heads down, everyone must have assumed they were just taking the trash out. Roan once again took care of the guards outside which gave them a chance to load the box into car and head back to beach house.

As soon as they got back Bellamy took a shower and flopped down onto the bed, still uneasy about how easy it was to steal that box, but he let it go for the moment. He wasn’t sure how to handle the Clarke and Echo situation. This Echo was not the woman he thought he loved. That Echo was warm and kind, this Echo was someone he didn’t even recognize, but he couldn’t let her see that, because he wasn’t sure what she would do if she found out. The only way he could ensure Clarke’s safety was to pretend to be willing to work on their relationship. All he really wanted to do was to march into Clarke’s room and hold her close to him, kiss her, comfort her, take away her pain and listen to her stories about Madi. He loved her more than anything, he always had, the night she broke up with him he told her that would never stop loving her, and it was the truth, no matter how hard he tried to deny it, Clarke Griffin was and always had been the love of his life. He could see the pain in her eyes when she watched him with Echo, and he wanted to physically hurt himself knowing he was the cause of it.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

All four of them were sitting down at the dining room table, Clarke opened her box of memories. “Okay so Jake found the first evidence towards the end of 2006, everything before that will be useless.” Roan informed them.

“How do you know that?” Clarke questioned raising her one eyebrow.

“Because I helped him Clarke.” Roan clarified.

Clarke smiled. “You knew my father?”

“Not well, but yeah, I did, and I truly respected him.”

“Everyone that knew him loved him, he was just that type of person, compassionate and humble.” Clarke reminisced.

“The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree Clarke.” Roan commended.

Clarke felt a small blush on her cheeks. “Thank you.”

“Oh just get a room.” Echo playfully pretended to gag.

“Ok so back to business,” Bellamy steered the conversation in a different direction. “We don’t have much time, Nia will notice the box is gone soon.”

They sorted everything according to date, Clarke read through all of her cards and notes from her father, especially the ones written during her junior year in high school, she laughed and teared up as she dug deep into the memories. Usually the notes he wrote were short, so it didn’t take that long to go through everything. Nothing seemed like a clue to something. “I’m assuming the month or two before his death would be most important?” She asked Roan.

“Definitely” He agreed.

She read each one of the notes aloud, trying to find something meaningful in them.

_Remember you are in charge of your own life_

_You’ve grown into such a beautiful woman, you must take after your father_ _J_

_Do better today than you did yesterday_

_Always remember to keep your feet on the ground_

_Life is not about Money and nothing is Certain_

“Wait… wait… give me that one.” Bellamy took the note from her, he looked at it for a moment. “Clarke, look at this, the L, the M and C is a capital letter.”

“It could be co-incidental, my father did not have the best handwriting.” Clarke disagreed.

“No, it’s a message, he mentions money, saying life is more important and nothing is certain. He’s referring to Nia. LMC Inc. is a bank. I think it might be in a safety deposit box.” Bellamy suggested.

“Bell that’s genius.” Clarke felt suddenly relieved, for the first time in seven weeks they had actually made some progress.

“It’s my job Clarke, it’s what I’m trained to do.”

“Oh don’t be so modest.” Echo pulled him closer and ruffled his already messy curls which fueled a fire inside of Clarke, not the good kind.

“Ok, so we’ve figured out it might be in a safety deposit box, it’s not nearly enough.” Roan saved her from doing or saying something stupid. “Let’s go on.”

Clarke continued her previous actions.

_It doesn’t matter how long the journey takes you, what matters is that you get there._

_It always seems impossible, until it’s done._

_Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines_

“I remember this one, I struggled with a certain part of calculus, and my dad tried to explain it to me, but I just didn’t get it, so he left me this note the day of the test, which I still failed, but that inspired me to work harder until eventually it clicked.” Clarke recalled.

“Oh just when I thought you may not be human I learn that you can be bad at something.” Roan joked.

Clarke bit her lip. “I can be really bad at a lot of things.” She teased back.

“Read the next one Clarke.” Bellamy rapidly put a stop to their flirting.

Clarke just gave him an annoyed look and picked up where she left off.

_Write down your dreams, start with the first thing you told me you wanted to be when you grow up, that way they’ll come true_

“I think this one might mean something.” Clarke remarked reading the note again.

Echo seemed a little lost in thought as she played with a strand of her hair, she looked up at Clarke. “They’ve already searched through all of your medical equipment, files, text books, everything, there’s nothing in there.”

“There wouldn’t be, my dad died when I was still in high school.”

“Then why would you think that note might be significant?” Echo asked unconvinced.

“Because I didn’t want to be a doctor back then.” She remembered that day like it was yesterday.

“Well they’ve checked every sketch, painting, all of your art supplies. Nothing there either.” Echo was really getting on her nerves.

She clenched her jaw. “I didn’t want to be an artist either.”

Echo once again opened her mouth to say something, but both Bellamy and Roan held out a hand to stop her. “Wait, give her a chance to finish.” Bellamy said.

“I told him I wanted to be a ballerina,” She began, but Bellamy started laughing. “What’s so funny?”

“I’m sorry, I just can’t picture you as a ballerina.”

“I was eight, Bellamy.” She scowled.

“Sorry, sorry, continue with the story.” He apologized gesturing with his hands for her to go on.

“He gave me this hideous looking, pink, fluffy pen with a ballerina on top along with the note. I think the pen might be a clue.” She concluded.

“Well do you still have the pen?” Bellamy seemed anxious.

“Of course I do, I held on to everything my dad gave me, but it’s in my apartment.” Clarke explained.

“No it’s fine, we can go and get it. Where is it?” Bellamy got up, ready to go.

“Sergeant Diyoza has got that place under lock and key, there is no way you’re getting in there, and my mother’s guys will be watching it too.” Roan burst his bubble, but Bellamy didn’t seem dissuaded.

“Good, I enjoy a challenge. Where is it?” He asked Clarke again.

Clarke did not share his eagerness. “Bell, it could be dangerous.”

“I don’t care. We need that pen and I’m going to get it. You with me?” He looked at Echo.

“Always.” She agreed.

“Okay, but please be careful. It’s in my college pencil bag, you know –“

“The blue one you drew the flowers on. Yeah I know.” He completed her sentence.

“The dresser in my room, top drawer.” Bellamy saluted her and they were off.

“That’s a suicide mission.” Roan remarked as soon as they were out the door.

“Yup, that’s Bellamy Blake for you.” She half-smiled, still uneasy about him risking his life to find the pen that might or might not be a clue.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was just after 9pm when Bellamy and Echo were finally heading back to Boston. He was exhausted, because breaking in and out of Clarke’s apartment without being seen was a lot harder than he thought it would be. Although being around Echo made him awfully uncomfortable, she was a damn good partner, and he wouldn’t have been able to do it without her.

“We still make a fucking good team.” Echo mentioned as she got into the passenger side of the car.

“Absolutely.” He couldn’t argue with that statement.

“Can we talk about things now?” She asked as soon as they were on the road.

He sighed. “I suppose.”

“Your eagerness is highly appreciated.” She mocked.

“Well I’m not, but we probably have to talk about it.” He agreed, but he really wasn’t looking forward to it.

“Do you hate me?” She asked innocently.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “No, I don’t hate you, but I need time. I get why you lied, you were scared, but I need to get to know you again, the real you.” He tried his best to satisfy her.

She nodded before asking the question he had been dreading since she found them. “So, do you still love her?”

“A part of me will always love her.” He uttered the most realistic response he could muster without disappointing her, but the truth was _all_ parts of him would always love her. He realized it the moment he found out why she left him, maybe he always knew, he just wouldn’t admit it, because it hurt too much.

Echo turned to face him, her face serious. “Did you sleep with her?”

“Yes.”

“How many times?” She was curious.

“Just once. She told me the truth about why she refused my proposal. She was crying, I comforted her and one thing led to another.” He answered honestly.

She seemed to accept all of his answers, he couldn’t help but think that somehow she was still acting, she didn’t get upset or mad, just like always, she never argued with him, always agreed and approved all of his decisions, even when he was a being a douche. He never understood why, always thought she was just a people pleaser, but when he read her letter, it made complete sense.

Her next question was one he really didn’t want to answer. “Do you still love me?”

He took her hand in his free hand and linked their fingers. “Of course I do, feelings like that don’t just disappear.” That probably would have been the truth if she actually was the woman that he loved, but he felt absolutely nothing for the stranger next to him. Right now he just needed her to believe him.

That got a smile out of her. She leaned closer and lay her head down on his shoulder. “Will you sleep with me tonight? Just sleep. Please? I’ve missed you so much, I just want to be in you arms.”

He kissed the back of her hand. “Sure.” That would be perfect for the plan he had in mind.

When they finally arrived at the beach house he wasn’t very pleased by the scene in front of him. Roan was playing a romantic melody on the piano. Clarke sat next to him, leaning on her elbow as she watched him intently and sipped a glass of red wine. He cleared his throat to make his presence known.

Clarke’s head instantly flipped in his direction. “Bell, you’re back? Did you find it?”

“We sure did.” Echo appeared behind him, with the pen in her hand. “It doesn’t look like a clue, there’s nothing significant about it.”

It was kind of cute how Clarke got all tense the moment Echo opened her mouth. “I’ll decide that.” Clarke tried to be polite.

Echo walked over to the piano and handed her the pen. Clarke took it from her, through it down on the floor and crushed it with her foot and just as Clarke predicted, inside the ballerina was a tiny bunched up piece of paper. She opened it, her eyes scanned over the now faded letters as she read it. Her face expressionless. As soon as she was done, she handed it to Bellamy.

_Kiddo_

_If you're reading this it means I’m no longer with you, I’m so sorry about leaving you, you and your mother must take good care of each other. I love you both so much. You’re strong, smart and resourceful, you’ll be fine._

_I’ll be with you, especially on our days, go there, you’ll find me. And on your birthday I’ll be next to you, helping you blow out_ all _of your candles._

_You’ll learn everything in time._

_Lots of love_

_Dad_

He knew Clarke deciphered it the same way he had, to any other person it would look like a normal letter, but she knew exactly what he had meant, and through all her stories and the work they did in Jacksonville, so did he.

 _You’re strong, smart and resourceful, you’ll be fine._ – Figure this out and expose them, I need you to.

 _I’ll be with you, especially on our days, go there, you’ll find me._ – Across the street from the park they went every last Sunday, there was a bank, the safety deposit box had to be there.

 _And on your birthday I’ll be next to you, helping you blow out_ all _of your candles._ – It had to be a combination for the code of the box.

 _You’ll learn everything in time._ – They key must be in her father’s watch, which she unfortunately took off in Shaw’s car the night they escaped.

He had to hand it to Jake, the clues were very well thought out, he made sure that no-one but Clarke would be able to figure them out. “This is nothing, just a goodbye letter.” He exclaimed, silently communicating to Clarke to go along with his lie.

Everyone was staring at her in anticipation. “He’s right, it’s just goodbye.”

Neither of them seemed to buy it. “Why hide it in such an unthinkable place if it’s nothing.”

Clarke shrugged her shoulders and took another sip of her wine. “I don’t know, maybe he just didn’t want your mom to find it.”

Roan shook his head. “No, it has to be more than that. Let’s go through it again.”

“Uggh can we do it tomorrow, I’m tired, I’d rather just enjoy some more wine and listen to you play.” Bellamy was so proud of the way she talked her way out of that one, but he really didn’t want her to continue her little romance or whatever it was with Roan, she was clearly attracted to the guy, which would have been fine if Roan could be trusted, but he was a Queen, and that was enough for Bellamy not to have faith in him. Well maybe he wouldn’t have been fine with it, but if that was what Clarke wanted, he would have been happy for her.

Bellamy went upstairs to change into something more comfortable, when he returned he watched Clarke and Roan resume their positions at the piano, they had chemistry, which he couldn’t deny, the jealousy inside him was fighting its way out, but he managed to push it down. “Ready to go to bed?” Echo interrupted his internal struggle when she wrapped her arms around him from behind.

He squeezed her left hand with his right. “In a minute, you should go so long, I’ll be right up.”

“Okay, don’t be long.” Echo headed up the stairs.

He noticed Clarke looking at them from the corner of her eye. “Clarke, can I talk to you for a second?” He asked her.

She put her glass of wine down and murmured “I’ll be right back.” to Roan.

He waited until they were in the kitchen and out of earshot before he spoke. “What are you doing?” He kept his voice low.

“What do you mean?” She pretended like she didn’t know what he was talking about.

He rolled his eyes. “Don’t pretend like you don’t know.”

“Are you jealous?”

“Yes,” The word left his mouth before he could stop it “but that’s not the point, I’m worried about you, I don’t trust him.” He took one of her hands in his, slipping a small note he managed to scribble into it,

She didn’t pull her hand away, but her next words weren’t friendly. “You can’t have your cake and eat it Bellamy, this is my life, my decision, go back to your _fiancé,_ she’s waiting for you.”

He suddenly got a bitter taste in his mouth as she spat the word fiancé. When he didn’t say anything else, she turned around and left.

Echo was already in bed when he entered her room. He took off all his clothes except for his boxer and slid in next to her, making sure the syringe with the sedative that was originally meant for Clarke was well within his reach on the floor next to him. He wrapped his arms around her. “Hey beautiful.”

She turned around and cuddled into his side. “Oh I’ve missed this, are you sure you only want to sleep, I can rock your world for you, you know.” She said rubbing her left hand all over his chest.

“I could be convinced.”

She grinned. “Yeah?”

“Just get on top of me.” He instructed as he grabbed a hold of the syringe.

As soon as she started kissing him, he plunged the needle into her but cheek. “What did… you…” Within seconds she was out. He didn’t move, he stayed there and waited for Clarke to do her part. _Please Clarke, you can do this._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Clarke didn’t go back to Roan immediately, she went straight to the guest bathroom to read Bellamy’s note. As she unfolded it, she noticed there was a capsule inside.

_Princess_

_I don’t trust them, I’ll take care of Echo, slip this into Roan’s drink, it’s just a sleeping pill, as soon as they’re out, we’re leaving._

_PS I still love you too, with all my heart._

Her eyes bulged and her heart started pounding, she read it again, just to make sure. He loved her too, he loved _her,_ he _loved_ her, _Bellamy Blake_ loved her back. She almost forgot about his other instructions because that last line had her as giddy as a sixteen year old. She hid the note in her bra and kept the pill in her fist.

“What did he want?” Roan asked when she returned.

“He got the wrong idea about me and you, but right now he’s upstairs probably fucking Echo.” Clarke lied knowing he was definitely not fucking Echo, this whole time he had only been pretending.

“Does it bother you?”

She really wasn’t that good at lying, so she changed the subject. “Can we please talk about something else?”

“Sure, or I can just keep playing?” He suggested.

“Yeah, even better, you’re really good at it.”

His fingers fluttered over the keyboard notes creating the most incredible melodies. The sweet sounds of the piano along with the roaring waves outside the window swept her far away from her current state of turmoil. She understood why Bellamy didn’t trust Roan, but she couldn’t help but feel like they should, it was just some sixth sense that told her he was sincere. It obviously wasn’t Bellamy’s intention to harm Roan, he just wanted to get away, so she would go along with his plan, even though she didn’t agree with it. Maybe Bellamy got the wrong idea about her and Roan, obviously they were flirting, but it was harmless. She definitely thought Roan was hot, very hot, and he was a nice guy, maybe if she wasn’t hopelessly in love with somebody else, she would have taken a chance on him, but both Clarke and Roan knew that she was unavailable.  

When the music came to a stop she suddenly remembered her instructions again. “Would you mind getting us another bottle of wine?” She tried to get rid of him. “I think this one is almost done.”

“No problem. I’ll be right back.” He got up and disappeared into the kitchen.

As soon as he was gone, she quickly broke the capsule, slipped the contents into his wine, and returned to her seat. When he returned he poured her another glass, he played a few more songs, and she had a few more sips of wine before she headed to bed. “Thanks for all of this, for all your help, for everything, but I think I’m gonna turn in.” She needed him to know that she really appreciated everything he had done for them.

“Night Clarke.”

“Night Roan.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Bellamy lay awake waiting for Roan to go to bed before he would make his move. He had heard Clarke’s footsteps a little earlier, and if she was able to drug him he should be feeling drowsy right about now. Just when he started to panic, he heard the door to Roan’s bedroom creak open. He waited another half hour, just to be sure Roan was definitely asleep. He tip-toed to Clarke’s bedroom and quietly opened the door. She was asleep, and she looked so beautiful. He sat down next to her on the bed, wiped some hair out of her face, and touched her cheek, he really did not want to wake her, but it was now or never. “Princess, time to go.” He whispered.

She groaned. “Bell?”

“Yeah, you have to wake up, we have to go.”

“What you said in the note, did you mean it?” Her voice was groggy with sleep.

“Every word.” He admitted.

“Tell me again.”

He snickered. “I love you with all my heart.”

She beamed as she sat up. “I love you too.” Then she pulled him closer and kissed him, a deep, passionate, intense kiss. He kissed her back, and if he could, he would kiss her the whole damn night, but they had to leave.

He pulled away. “I really don’t want to stop, but we have to get going. Get dressed, “He playfully slapped her thigh. “I’m going to work on the security system, I’ll meet you downstairs.”

The smile hadn’t left her face. “Kay, I’ll be right down.” Her happiness was mirrored on his own, they figured out all of the clues, and he could take her home to her daughter, help her open the safety deposit box and expose the criminals that had killed her father. He got up to leave, but she pulled back down. “Just one more kiss.” He nodded and kissed her again.

“Sorry Princess, we really have to go now.”

She moaned a little disappointed. “Okay, I’ll meet you downstairs.”

Bellamy took a flashlight out of his bag and headed downstairs. He opened up the security system and suddenly wished he had Monty in his ear. The tech was quite advanced, he carefully checked all of the buttons and switches, all he had to do was shut down , the alarm, the beams and the electric fencing, he already saw a weak spot where they could climb the wall. “Going somewhere” Roan startled him.

 _Fuck. Why was Roan not asleep? Those were hardcore sleeping pills._ He turned around to face him and saw Clarke over Roan’s shoulder heading their way. He motioned with his eyes for her to return to her room, but it was too dark for her to see. She stiffened when she noticed Roan. “I just need to go for a run on the beach.” He lied, but Clarke got the message and turned back around.

“At two in the morning?” Roan asked skeptical.

“I just need to clear my head.”

“Mind if I join you?” Roan spoiled his whole plan. _Fuck._ He wasn’t getting out of this one.

“Not at all.”

He kept a close eye as Roan shut down the security system and made a mental note of how to do it, as soon as they got back and Roan went back to bed they would leave.

For the first few minutes there were no words between them as they ran until Roan broke the silence. “What were you really doing?” Clearly he didn’t buy his lie.

“Going for a jog.” He stuck with his answer.

“Bullshit, I know Clarke spiked my wine, what was the plan?” He demanded.

“I was taking her home.” Bellamy came clean.

Roan gave him a look. “Bellamy, I’m not your enemy, you can trust me. So I gathered you lied about figuring out Jake’s clues?”

Bellamy really didn’t want Roan to know that. “Not exactly.” Which was sort of true, because they still had to find Jake’s watch and work out the code, but they were very close.

“And you think taking her home is wise?” Roan was unconvinced.

“We can work on the rest at home, I can protect her there.”

“I know you can, but you will be my mother’s first target, she knows how much you love Clarke, and how far you would go to keep her safe.” Roan pointed out.

“I can take care of myself.” He knew the dangers, but nothing would stop him from taking care of both Clarke and Madi.

“Okay, if you really want to take her home. I’ll help you.”

“Why?” Bellamy was confused. “Thought you would like to keep her close, seems like you two have got something going on.” This got a laugh out of Roan, if it weren’t for the strong waves he might have woken up the whole neighborhood. “I wasn’t joking, don’t know what’s funny.”

“She is a beautiful and fascinating woman and if she wasn’t emotionally unavailable, maybe I would have pursued it, but Clarke Griffin will never love anybody but you. You guys are” He paused. “I don’t know” another pause. “Soulmates I guess.”

Bellamy snapped his neck in Roan’s direction. “What?”

“Don’t play dumb Bellamy, if you had called Clarke back the night before the wedding and she had told you the truth, you would have called off that wedding in a heartbeat. The only thing that kept you from admitting your feelings for her was the hurt.” He rubbed the sweat off his nose. “You were hurt, you thought she had left you because you weren’t good enough for her.” Roan raised one eyebrow. “Am I getting warm? That’s how you felt right, she came from a wealthy family, she is the mayor’s stepdaughter, she is a doctor, she had everything she could ever want, and you always felt like a nothing compared to her.”

Bellamy didn’t answer because he couldn’t argue with him, everything he said was true. He had always felt like that, he felt like he would never be able to give her what she deserved, he was just a cop and his job was dangerous, and he didn’t make a lot of money.

“One thing you never realized was that all she needed was you.” Roan added a little breathless. “That girl cried for you until she had no tears left to cry.”

“So did I.” Bellamy remarked.

“Uh-huh” Roan agreed. “Come on, let’s go get your girlfriend and take her home.”

“What about Echo?” Bellamy asked.

“What about her?” Roan echoed.

“She won’t be accepting of this.”

“She doesn’t need to know, I’ll take care of Echo for now.”

As they got closer to the gate, Bellamy stopped Roan. He hung his head upside down, to catch his breath. “Thank you. For everything. I owe you.”

Roan nodded. “You sure do, I’ll cash in when I need a favor, just” He panted. “make sure you get it done.”

Bellamy got up to run back, but Roan pulled him by the arm. “Something’s wrong.” Then Bellamy noticed the unconscious guard as well.

They quietly slipped back into the house, he went straight to Clarke’s room, she was gone, he checked Echo’s room, she wasn’t there either. They searched everywhere for them, all of the cars were still there, but the box wasn’t, they were taken. Bellamy shoved Roan hard in the chest. “You son of a bitch, I trusted you.”

“Bellamy calm down, I had nothing to do with this.”

“Then how on earth did they know we were here?” Bellamy growled.

“I have no idea. You need to calm down, we have to find them. I swear to you, I didn’t know.” Roan tried to reason with him.

Bellamy let out a little laugh as realization dawned on him. “It’s Echo.”

“What? No, why would she –“

Bellamy cut him off. “She was in on everything, she wants Clarke out of the way. It all makes sense. It never made sense for your mother to want me dead, it must have been staged.”

“I wouldn’t put that past my mother, she knows the lengths you would go through to keep those you love safe, especially Clarke.” Roan argued.

Bellamy ignored him. “The box was so easy to steal, because they wanted us to steal it. Echo must have figured out Clarke and I knew what that note in the pen meant and told your mother, Echo made it look like she was taken too, so I would think she wasn’t in on it, but she had one thing wrong.”

“What?”

“This Echo is not the woman I knew and loved, she is a heartless spy.”

Roan glared at him. “I think I know where they might be!” Both of them ran to the car and spun out of there.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When Clarke woke up she felt like she had been out partying till 5am, her head was throbbing, her body ached and it felt like she hadn’t had a drop of water in days. She struggled to regain consciousness. She tried very hard to open her eyes, but they just wouldn’t obey. She tried to use her hands as well, but they seemed to be stuck. It felt like she was stuck in a nightmare, and she just wasn’t able to wake up. Slowly but surely she got flashes of memories. Bellamy in her room, kissing her. Bellamy talking to Roan. Someone grabbing her and covering her mouth. Echo being carried out. A sharp sting in her arm. Darkness.

When she was finally able to open her eyes she had no idea where she was, it looked like some sort of consultation room, the light was bright, the walls white as snow. She was tied to a chair, there were no windows, just one door. Obviously she knew she had been kidnapped, she just hoped that Bellamy and Roan were ok.

“Ah Cinderella is finally awake.” A woman’s voice said as she entered the door, Clarke instantly recognized her as the bartender at the Dropship the night before the wedding. She had a gun in her hand, but Clarke wasn’t scared, they wouldn’t kill her, because the needed her.

“Ok so tell us, where is it?” The woman demanded. Clarke ignored her.

“Aaaah, cat got your tongue” She snarled. “Let’s see if this helps?” She punched her straight in the gut. “Nothing?” She kicked her so hard the chair went flying back. It hurt, but Clarke still kept her mouth shut. The brunette then slapped her straight through the face, but there was nothing she could do to her that would make Clarke talk. She left and returned with some type of belt, she felt the sharp strike on her back, the pain seared through her whole body, but she didn’t even flinch.

A moment later Echo entered the room. “That won’t help Ontari, but this will.” Echo held an IPad in front of her, it was Madi, she was at school. Echo zoomed in. “See those two guys over there that look like guards, they work for us, you don’t talk, we’ll take it out on her.”

Clarke knew Echo could be bluffing, but she wasn’t willing to gamble with Madi’s life. They had her in a corner. “What do you need?”

Echo grinned. “That’s better. Very easy, you’re gonna help us get those documents. You knew what that letter meant, you know where it is.”

Clarke stared daggers at her. ”And then what?”

“Then we kill you.” Ontari filled in casually and left the room.

“Bellamy will never forgive you, but you wanna look like the good guy right. Nia gets her evidence, they kill me, you try to save me, Bellamy doesn’t know of your involvement, I’m out of the way, and you get to live happily ever after with him. That’s the plan?” Clarke snarled at Echo, when she didn’t respond Clarke continued. “You know what, I felt sorry for you, I thought maybe he had somehow managed to change you, but you’re still a conniving bitch.” She laughed a little at the ridicule of the situation. “He loved you, I held him while he cried about you, he wanted to marry you.” She yelled.

“Then why did he dream of you the night before our wedding?” She lashed back.

Clarke couldn’t say anything to that. Bellamy did dream of her the night before his wedding, he even said that he probably wouldn’t have married her if he had learned the truth sooner. “Echo, I get it. You’re hurt, seeing that video must have broken your heart, but you don’t need to do this, you can still be that person, the person that he loves, you guys can work things out, if you help me, I’ll tell him, I’ll make him see that you are still that person and that you belong together.” She pleaded with her, trying to find one piece of decency inside her.

She paced the small room seemingly considering Clarke’s offer. “No. He will never love me while you’re still alive. Now tell me where is it?”

“I know where, but I don’t have the key.” She uttered defeated.

“Where’s the key?”

Clarke hesitated, it was inside something she held very dear to her heart, but Madi’s life was on the line. “In my father’s watch.”

Echo nodded and returned a few minutes later with the watch in hand. “Where did you get that?” Clarke insisted.

“Inside the car that you and Bellamy escaped with, the driver abandoned the car and fled on foot.” She handed the watch to Clarke. “So where’s the key?”

Clarke took it from Echo and popped open the back which revealed a small key. Echo dragged her out of the room to a bathroom. “Get cleaned up, we’ll be right here, don’t try anything funny.”

She quickly washed herself and pulled on the underwear and dress Echo gave her, Echo dried her hair and plastered some make up onto her face. “Come on.” She pushed her down the halls into a parking lot. The woman she now knew as Ontari, was already waiting in the car.

“Where to?” Ontari asked.

“The bank across the park.” Clarke replied, knowing Ontari would know exactly which park she was referring to.

She hit the pedals and sped out of the parking lot. Clarke internally prayed that Bellamy would find them, she knew he knew where the box was, but chances were he was probably looking for her and not the box. It was clear they weren’t in Boston anymore, because half an hour later Ontari pulled into LMC Inc.’s basement parking lot. Clarke still wasn’t exactly sure what either the number/code for the box was, but there was only a few combinations it could be. Echo stuffed Clarke’s passport into her hands as they got out of the car. “No funny business.” She warned.

Echo entered the bank with her, “Can I help you?” The receptionist asked them.

Clarke managed to muster a smile. “I would like to open my safety deposit box.”

“Of course, may I see some identification?” Clarke handed the woman her passport. The woman entered her social security number into the computer. “Ah yes, first floor to your left, you can enquire at the counter, they will assist you.” The woman explained with her hands.

“Thank you.” Clarke said. They followed the woman’s instructions until they got to the counter. “Hi, I would like to open my safety deposit box.” Clarke told the man behind the counter.

“Identification please?” The man wasn’t very friendly. Clarke handed him her passport and he followed the same procedure as the receptionist. “Please sign here and follow me.” The man handed her an electronic signature pad, which she signed. Echo followed them, but the man stopped her. “Not you.” Echo nodded once handing Clarke the backpack and key.

Clarke stepped inside the room full of security deposit boxes. The man searched for the number of the box and stopped in front of number 1456. “This is it, it opens with two keys, I have one, I’m assuming you have the other?"

“Yes.”

He inserted one of the keys and opened the lock, she did the same, inside was a small flash drive and to Clarke’s complete surprise a handgun. _Thank you dad._ She slyly loaded the gun and carefully placed it inside, making sure not to fully zip it up for easy access.

She thanked the man as he once again closed the box and left. Echo was waiting right outside. “Did you get it?” She whispered as they walked down the stairs. Clarke held onto the backpack, she knew Echo wouldn’t do anything while they were still inside the bank.

“I think so, it’s a flash drive.” Clarke explained.

As soon as they were near the basement exit Echo looked at her sympathetically. “Clarke, I really am sorry that things have to be this way.”

Clarke didn’t respond, Echo walked behind her. As soon as they were out the door, a massive adrenaline rush overcame her, within split-seconds she grabbed the gun from the backpack, turned around and shoved it into Echo’s stomach. “So am I. Don’t think I’m bluffing, I will pull that trigger”

Ontari came up behind her and aimed a gun at her. “Put down the gun Clarke.”

“You shoot me, I shoot her.” It was as simple as that, all she needed was for someone else to enter the parking lot unseen and call 911. Unfortunately for Clarke Echo was a trained cop. She head-butted her which sent Clarke backwards, she lost her balance for just a second and gave Echo the opportunity to get her hands on the gun, but Clarke was not letting go. Echo was stronger than her, nonetheless she fought for dear life to maintain possession, the struggle was tough, a few times she felt her sweaty hands slip, but she did not give up until she heard a gunshot. For a nanosecond she thought it was Ontari and then she was shoved backwards and felt an excruciating pain in her right side. She was hit.

“Clarke.” Echo’s voice came. “No, Clarke.”

Clarke saw her taking out her phone and call someone, she couldn’t really hear what she was saying, everything was a blur. She ended the call, ripped off a piece of her clothes and placed it on the wound to stop the bleeding. “No, please. Stay with me, come on Clarke fight, they’ll be here soon.”

Then there was another yelling voice next to her. Bellamy. “What have you done?”

He pushed Echo out of the way and continued her actions. “Princess no, fight, please. I need you to fight. You’re strong, you’ll pull through.”

“Bell,” She croaked as she struggled to stay awake. “Take care of Madi. Promise me.”

He shook his head. “No you’re gonna be fine.”

“Promise me?” She begged him.

“I promise.” Tears were streaming down his face, he turned his attention to Echo “I WILL KILL YOU.”

She saw Roan and other people approach and… then… black…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Bellamy marched up and down the waiting room, a million thoughts going through his mind, the next moment his sister was running towards him. “Bell, you’re alive, you’re ok. I was so worried, I thought the worst.”

He squeezed her tightly, it was so good to see her again, he just wished it was under better circumstances. “Clarke might not be.”

“No Bell you can’t think like that. She’ll be fine. Look at me.” She turned his face towards her. “She. Will. Be. Fine.” He just nodded, really not in the mood to argue with his sister, over her shoulder he saw Abby and Marcus power-walking towards them, he had no idea what to tell them.

Abby wrapped her arms around him. “I’m so sorry Abby, I failed her, I couldn’t save her.” He started sobbing into Abby’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry.” Marcus just squeezed his shoulder.

“It’s not your fault. I’m sure you did everything you could.” She took a tissue out of her purse and wiped away some tears of her own before handing him one as well.

The next face he saw was one he really had no idea how to face. She was sniffing, her eyes puffy and red as she wandered their way, Lincoln had his arm around her. They locked eyes and she bolted to him. “Is she okay?”

He picked her up into his arms, and held her close. “I wish I knew. She missed you so much, she never stopped talking about you. She loves you more than anything.” He tried to comfort her.

“She loves you too.”

He smiled at the girl’s bluntness. “I know, she told me, but not as much as I love her.”

“I knew it. I knew it. I told her, but she wouldn’t listen to me. Did you tell her?” Madi looked at him expectantly.

He stroked her hair affectionately. “I did. She knows.”

One by one all of their friends and family started showing up and hugging him, everyone was happy to see him alive and very worried about Clarke. His mother was the first. “Hi mom.”

“Oh baby I almost gave up hope of ever finding you, are you okay? How’s Clarke?”

“I’m fine, Clarke not so much. She’s in surgery.” Another lump in his throat formed, he had no idea what he would do if she didn’t make it.

Pretty soon all of his colleagues, including Diyoza showed up. “Did you get the backpack? Is it inside?” He was eager for justice to be served.

“Yeah we got it, but it’s password protected.” Monty explained.

“I think I might know what it is.” It may have been one of the clues in Jake’s note.

Harper squeezed his shoulder. “Don’t think about that right now, you have other things to worry about.”

Raven was the last to arrive, cause she probably came all the way from Boston, she had gotten big, but was almost running down the wall. “Bellamy!” She hugged him, which was quite difficult with her belly in the way. “How is she?”

“We’re still waiting.”

She nodded. “Well I’m glad _you’re_ okay. She’s strong, she’ll pull through.” That was all that kept him going knowing how strong she was.

“I hope you’re right.” They didn’t see her, he was right there over her limp body, wiping sweat from her forehead as blood gushed out of her wound.

Everyone took a seat, Miller and Murphy bought something for them to eat, but food was the last thing on his mind.

After a few hours the doctor finally returned. “Detective Blake?”

He spun around to face him. “How is she?”

“Are you family?” The doctor asked.

“Well not exact –“ He started to say but Abby interrupted him.

“Yes, he is. I’m her mother, and this is her boyfriend.” He gave her a confused look, but nodded along.

“Can we talk in private?” Bellamy felt instantly uneasy, the doctor’s tone was grim. He led them to a small consultation room and motioned for them to take a seat. “She’s stable.” Bellamy let out a breath of relief. “We managed to remove the bullet, but she lost a lot of blood and her ribs are fractured. The bullet luckily didn’t hit any critical organs. She’s not out of the woods yet, she’s still unconscious and critical, but for now, she’s alive.”

Abby nodded, her face somber, she obviously knew exactly what the doctor meant, all he knew was that she was alive, but barely. He laughed internally at the irony of the situation. He was always so scared for her to lose him and here he was worrying about her death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor, poor Clarke. Will she survive? Did Echo want to shoot her? The next chapter is her court case. Just one more and an epilogue.


	14. The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided to split this chapter, because it might run too long and also I get very little chance to write and I don't want to keep you waiting any longer. So there will be 16 chapters in total.

Bellamy slipped into the seat next to Clarke’s bed and kissed the top of her head. “Hey Princess, you look so much better today.”

His words were barely cold when Abby appeared and read her chart. “She’s doing better.”

Bellamy closed his eyes and exhaled with relief, it was like music to his ears. She had been in this coma due to severe blood loss for more than two weeks, it scared the hell out of him but finally some good news. “That’s great. I can’t stay long I’m headed to the court, just popped in to check up on her.”

“Yes me too.” Abby agreed. “What do you think our chances are?”

He wiped a hand through his curls. “I’d like to say good, but this is one of O’s first high profile cases and Echo has Cage Wallace in her corner. He’s a snake Abby. He won’t hesitate to play dirty.” If he was being honest fifty-fifty was generous.

“Do _you_ think she’s guilty?” Abby tilted her head to the side.

“I don’t care, she is the reason Clarke is lying here and she will pay.” He took Clarke’s hand in his. “I’ll make sure of it.” He then kissed it. “Bye Princess, I’ll bring Madi by later, you hang in there, she needs you and so do I. I -” He hesitated for a moment knowing Abby was eyeing them intently. “I love you.”

He looked to Abby thinking she might not understand. “She told me the truth and I instantly realized I never stopped, I would never be able to stop.” He explained.

Abby smiled. “Oh I know. You two were the biggest idiots on the planet.”

“Yeah, absolutely. Ok I’ll see you in court.” He said walking to the door.

“You’ll be fine.” Abby encouraged, he wasn’t so sure of that, but he nodded anyway. Octavia had done her best to prepare him, but one wrong word could mean Echo goes unpunished.

He blasted some exhilarating music on the drive to get his blood flowing and adrenaline pumping. _Answer honestly, short answers, don’t say more than necessary, look at the jury._ He had been a witness in a court case a million times before, but this case was personal. _You’ve got this._ He tried to hype himself up.

He took a seat behind Octavia when he got there. “You ready?” He whispered.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” She didn’t bother looking at him.

He really hoped that was true, but Octavia loved Clarke and hated Echo, she would do everything in her power to win this case. From the corner of his eye he saw Cage Wallace with his ridiculously cocky smirk, which he wanted to slap right off his face, but he kept both his calm and his poker face.

“All rise.” The Bailiff Called. “Department one of the Superior Court is now in session. The Honorable Judge Thelonious Jaha now presiding.” Everyone stood as the African-American Judge in his late fifties entered. “Please be seated.” The bailiff called again as soon as the judge sat down.

“Good Morning Ladies and Gentleman. Calling the case of the People of the State of Massachusetts versus Echo Azgeda. Are both sides ready?” The judge spoke. 

“Ready for the people your honor.” Octavia stated.

“Ready for the defense your honor.” Cage declared.

The clerk swore in the jury and Octavia stepped forward to stand in front of them. “Your Honor and Ladies and Gentleman of the Jury the defendant will be charged with conspiracy to kidnapping and kidnapping that took place on the 18th of April 2018 as well as conspiracy to theft and attempted murder in the second degree that took place on the 19th of April 2018. The victim had incriminating evidence against the defendant’s surrogate mother in her possession, the victim was obtained from a safe location and taken to the bank where the flash disk with the evidence was kept in order to steal it. The defendant was found on top of the victim’s body, her fingertips on the murder weapon.” Octavia trailed off explaining other evidence they had against Echo.

Once she was done with her opening statement Cage took her place in front of the jury. “Your Honor and Ladies and Gentleman of the Jury. My client remains innocent until proven guilty. My client cannot be guilty of conspiracy to kidnapping nor guilty of kidnapping if she was also taken against her will that same night. The victim pointed the weapon at my client, and she acted in self-defense by trying to take the weapon out of her hands, there was a struggle and the weapon fired by accident, she never meant the victim any harm, she was only trying to obtain the evidence to hand it to her superior.” Bellamy really didn’t know what to believe, if that was the truth, how did Nia’s team know where to find them?

The judge nodded as Cage took his seat again. “The prosecution may call its first witness.”

“The People call Sergeant Charmaine Diyoza to the stand.” Octavia stated.

Octavia waited until Diyoza was seated and sworn in before approaching her. “Please explain how you know the defendant?”

Diyoza’s face was serious. “I hired her in June 2015, she has been a part of my investigative unit since then.”

“Did you suspect anything unusual about her?”

“Not at first, only in October 2017 did I notice some odd things about the defendant.”

“What did you notice?”

“She was working late all the time and she almost seemed too good to be true. She never corrected or argued with her colleagues or friends, not even when they were completely wrong.”

“And why was such behavior worrisome?”

“The defendant is a very smart and strong woman, it doesn’t make sense for a person with such traits to behave in such a manner. She did more than the other members of the team, but for some reason I did not see the full results of the hours she put in.” Diyoza explained.

“At the time were you able to find a reason for her strange behavior?”

“No. Not until Detective Blake showed me the letter explaining her actions.”

Octavia nodded. “Did you notice a change in the defendant’s behavior when she found out the victim was returning to Arkadia?”

“No.” She answered honestly.

 _Because she was too good at playing the game, she couldn’t give anything away._ Bellamy thought.

“Could you describe the relationship between the defendant and Detective Blake her former fiancé?”

“There were different stages of their relationship.” Diyoza declared.

“Would you describe all of them?”

“Hostility at first. Trusting Partners. Loyal friends. Loyal friends who shared a bed.” There was not a slither of emotion on her face when she spoke.

“Loyal friends who shared a bed? Why would you categorize it in such a way when they were engaged to be married?” A crease appeared on her forehead and her nose crinkled, like she was really confused, but obviously they had practiced their questions as well.

“The defendant may have been in love with Detective Blake, but I doubt he felt the same.” Her tone cool and casual.

Bellamy did not understand what she meant by that, of course he was in love with her, wasn’t he? He didn’t really care in that moment, because that little statement just lay the foundation for Echo’s motive.

“What gave you that idea?”

“Objection your honor. Relevance?” Cage interrupted.

Octavia looked at the judge. “Your honor the relationship between Detective Blake and the victim are necessary to explain the defendant’s motive.”

The judge nodded. “Overruled. You may answer.” He motioned for Diyoza to continue.

“Detective Blake fell in love with the victim, Dr. Griffin, almost six years ago, his relationship and feelings towards the defendant wasn’t even slightly similar, and from my point of view he never stopped loving the victim.”

Octavia asked her few more questions about her theories and evidence before handing the questioning over to Cage.

He walked up to her to stand as close as possible and looked her straight in the eye, but she did not flinch. “Would you say that my client loved Detective Blake?”

“Objection asked and answered.” Octavia’s voice boomed.

“Sustained.” Judge Jaha agreed.

Cage nodded. “Would you say that my client would be willing to do anything to save and protect Detective Blake?”

“Yes.”

“Is it possible that Detective Blake was in love with my client just in a different way?” He slightly snarled.

Diyoza remained expressionless. “Not in my opinion.”

“Is it possible that your judgement was clouded?”

“No, I only read body language, I have a degree in criminology and I specialized in human behavioral science.”

“Is it possible that you misread Detective Blake’s body language?”

“There is always a chance, but I doubt it.” Typical Diyoza, always thinking she was right, but she usually was.

“Thank you. No further questions your honor.” Cage returned to his seat.

Diyoza was excused.

“The Prosecution may call their next witness.” The judge said looking to Octavia.

“Your honor, the People call Echo Azgeda to the stand.” Octavia looked straight ahead, Bellamy was so proud of her, she was calm, confident and intimidating, just amazing.

After Echo was sworn in Octavia asked her a few questions about her background just to give the jury some information about how she became a spy and how she ended up as his partner, how she found them when they were hiding in Jacksonville which she seemed to answer truthfully. The whole cross questioning session was like a tennis match. Hurried, no movement, no emotion, O fired the question, Echo answered without hesitation, short and straight forward. “Did you have contact with Nia Queen at the time you found the victim and Detective Blake in their safe house in Jacksonville, Florida?”

“Yes.”

“Did you inform Nia Queen of your plans to hide out at Roan Queen’s beach house?”

“Yes.”

“Did you inform her that you were planning to steal the victim’s box which contained important information on the whereabouts of the evidence against Nia Queen?”

“Yes.”

“Did you know they were planning on kidnapping the victim?”

“No.”

“So you want to tell me that you had no idea that they would take the victim away after you informed them of your whereabouts?”

“No”

“So what did you think Nia Queen was going to do with the information she obtained from you?”

“I don’t know.”

“Then why did you give her the information?”

“I was scared. Scared for myself, but mostly to keep Detective Blake safe, his life was in danger.”

“Why?”

“Nia Queen knew how far he would go to protect the victim and she would do anything to get him out of the way.”

“Why didn’t you just go along with his plan and protect him that way.”

“Nia Queen is ruthless she would have found another way to find him and kill him.”

“Did you not have faith in Detective Blake’s abilities?”

“Not where Nia Queen was involved, no.”

_Gee Thanks Echo._

“So what happened after you were taken from the beach house?”

“We were taken to one of Queen Foods’ old factories. Ontari Knight and Nia Queen woke me and explained the plan.”

“What was the plan?”

“To get the information out of the victim and kill her.”

“Did you go along with the plan?”

“No.”

“No?” Octavia tilted her head to the left. “Then why were you with the victim at the bank where the evidence was kept? Why were you standing over her body after she was shot?”

“I would have saved the victim and taken the evidence to Sergeant Diyoza, but the victim was in possession of a handgun which she pointed at me, in a struggle to defend myself the gun went off and she was shot.” Her face was straight.

Octavia glared at her. “Define save the victim?”

“Objection your honor.” Cage shouted slamming his fist on the bench. “The question is vague. My client is not an English language specialist.”

“I’ll rephrase your honor.” Octavia told the Judge. “How were you planning on saving the victim?” She asked turning her attention back to Echo.

“By taking Ontari Knight, the woman that accompanied us into custody.” Echo explained.

“What were you planning to do with the victim after you took miss Knight into custody?”

For the first time since Octavia started her cross examination Echo hesitated for a second, she opened her mouth to speak but Octavia handed something to the judge. “Your honor, I received an affidavit from Finn Collins this morning stating that Detective Azgeda approached him, asked him to follow them to the bank, take the victim and flee the country. She also referred him to a passport falsification specialist and gave him one hundred thousand dollars in cash.”

She turned back to Echo. “I ask you again. What were you planning to do with the victim after you took miss Knight into custody?”

“I just wanted to keep her safe, _if_ I wasn’t able to pull it off.” She obviously tried to justify her actions.

“Would you please explain who Finn Collins is?”

“He worked for Nia Queen, he was tasked with ending Detective Blake’s life, but I saved him. He was also the victim’s former boyfriend, with whom she broke up to pursue a relationship with Detective Blake.”

“He used to be in a relationship with the victim, is that why you approached him?”

“Yes.”

Octavia must have cut her losses on the subject and tried another approach. “When you found Detective Blake and the victim, Dr. Griffin, at the safe house in Jacksonville what did you walk in on?”

Her eyes found his, he could tell tears were welling in them, but she hid it well. “They were kissing.”

“So six weeks after he was supposed to marry you, you walked in on him kissing his ex-girlfriend. Did you ask him why?”

“Yes.”

“What did he say?”

“A part of him would always love her.”

“Did you believe him?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because I knew he loved me.”

 _I never loved_ you. _I loved the person you were pretending to be._

“So you are telling me that not even a small part of you believed that Detective Blake might love the victim more than you?”

“No.”

If she was telling the truth, she was completely blinded by love.

Octavia nodded, she looked slightly defeated. “No further questions your honor.”

“Does the defense have any questions?” The Judge asked Cage.

“Yes your honor.” He buttoned his jacket and approached Echo. “Would you please explain to the court why you were so desperate to protect yourself and Detective Blake that you fed the enemy information?”

“I would have done anything to protect my unborn child and the love of my life.” She looked straight at Bellamy.

Gasps and murmurs could be heard throughout the courtroom. Bellamy froze, flabbergasted. _My unborn child?_

“So you are saying you’re pregnant with Detective Blake’s child?” Cage asked her.

“Yes.”

“Has this been confirmed by a doctor?”

“Yes.”

Bellamy felt suffocated, he didn’t care about anything that was going on, he didn’t care that he was supposed to testify after Echo. He ran to the back of the courtroom and left. He got in the car and drove straight to the hospital.

When he reached Clarke’s room, he once again took a seat next to her bed. “This morning I told you I needed you, but now that’s even more true. Echo is pregnant, if she goes to prison, so does my child. My baby will be born in a prison. I don’t know what’s true anymore, but you do Clarke, you know.”

He wasn’t expecting a reaction from her, he just came here to talk to her like every day, even while unconscious she was his person, his rock, but to his complete surprise. “Echo’s pregnant?” She groaned. “Water. Please?”

 _What?_ This was the second time today that he was unable to move.

“Bell, water, please?”

“Oh, uh, sorry, yes.” He stuttered as he poured her a glass of water from the jug on the table next to her. “Here you go.” He gently placed the glass between her lips and tilted it upwards.

“It hurts Bell.”

“Yeah, sorry let me get a nurse.” He rushed out of the room to inform the nurse she had woken up.

The nurse contacted Clarke’s doctor as he returned to her room beaming. He was so glad he came, so glad he was here when she woke. “The doctor’s on his way. How are you feeling?”

“Like I was hit by a bus.” She tried to giggle but winced and placed her hands on her broken ribs.

“Do you remember Princess?” He wiped a strand of hair out of her face. “What happened, I mean.”

“Yeah, your ex-fiancé’s a bitch. I remember.”

“So she is guilty.” He murmured under his breath.

The doctor entered. “Doctor Griffin, you’re finally awake, how do you feel?”

“As well as someone can feel under the circumstances.” Just like Clarke, still positive, even after being shot.

“I understand you’re feeling some pain?” The doctor asked her.

“Yes when I move, in my ribs, I’ve gathered their broken.”

The doctor slowly nodded, he checked her eyes, ears, chest and vitals. “Well everything looks good.” He declared. “Can you answer some questions for me?”

Clarke nodded.

“What is your full name?”

“Clarke Griffin.”

“Do you know who this is?” He pointed to Bellamy.

“Bellamy Blake.” Which brought a small smile to her lips.

“Last date you remember?”

“19 April 2018. What is today’s date?”

“The 4th of May 2018. There doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with your memory. I’m sure I don’t have to explain to you how lucky you are, you were basically knocking on heaven’s door, but here you are perfectly healthy.”

Bellamy closed his eyes, it really was a miracle, there were a few times over the past few weeks where he thought he had lost her, but he never should have doubted her. Clarke Griffin would never give up without a fight knowing there were people in her life that needed her.

While the doctor conducted his exam he texted Abby, Marcus and their friends to let them know Clarke was awake, but decided to keep it a surprise for Madi. She was going to be over the moon, he could just picture the joy on both their faces.

“Mr. Blake.” The doctor waved him over. “Everything seems to be functioning perfectly normal, I’ll increase her pain medication slightly, she has been slipping in and out of consciousness since last night, but this is the first time she is fully responsive. Her blood pressure is at an acceptable level, I would just like to run a few more tests, but I think your girlfriend will be back to her old self in no time.”

Clarke shot him a look at the word _girlfriend,_ but he subtly nodded for her to just agree. When the doctor left he sat down on the bed next to her.

“So girlfriend huh?” She narrowed her eyes at him.

“Yeah that’s what your mom told the doctor so I got family privileges.” He explained as he picked up her hand and kissed her knuckles. “But I wouldn’t mind if you were.”

“Bellamy, I think we have a lot to talk about before we can get into any sort of relationship.”

“If that’s what you want Clarke, but I nearly lost you, I love you so much, I don’t want to waste any more time, I want to be with you. I don’t care what people think or say, I care what you think or say, oh and Madi, but she’d be cool with it.”

“Oh really, so I’m in a coma for two weeks and you already know what Madi would think?” She teased, but he picked up a hint of jealousy, she had to be desperate to hold the girl in her arms.

He chuckled. “We talked to you and about you _a_ _lot_.”

“So Echo’s pregnant?” Clarke changed the subject.

He was so excited about Clarke finally waking up and being healthy he had completely forgotten about that small issue. “Yeah, she blurted it out on the stand in court this morning. I was supposed to testify but I couldn’t breathe, so I came here.”

“Wow, that’s rough. What are you going to do?” She tried to sit up holding her injured side.

He was just about to answer when Abby burst through the door. “O baby it’s so good to see you.” She enveloped Clarke in her arms.

“I’ll give you some time.” He said as he left the room and headed straight to Arkadia Academy to pick Madi up. He was early so he had to wait in the car for a little while, but he didn’t mind.

Madi ran straight towards his car when she saw him, she placed her bag in the back seat and hopped into the passenger side. “How was the court case, how’s Clarke?” She asked eagerly without any greeting.

“Hi Madz, my day was good thanks for asking, how was yours?” He corrected. He wasn’t her parent, not even her guardian, but being a parent came natural to him, he did sort of raise O.

“Sorry.” She muttered looking away. “Hello Bellamy, how are you?”

“That’s better. I’m fine thank you, how are you? How was your day?” He asked as he started the engine.

“I’m okay, school was fine, but life isn’t fine any more, it hasn’t been since Clarke left.”

He wanted to tell her so badly, just to wipe away the sorrow on her face, but keeping it a surprise would just be so much more rewarding, so he went with. “I know of something that might cheer you up.”

Her head snapped in his direction. “What?”

He shook his head. “It’s a surprise.” And probably the best surprise she would ever get. Hell, it was the best surprise he had ever gotten, she woke up after two weeks in a coma as if nothing happened.

Madi was staring out of the window, seemingly unimpressed by his attempt to cheer her up. “Ice cream won’t make me feel better.” She mumbled without bothering to face him. “So what happened in court?”

He sighed as he was reminded of that ridiculous little stunt Echo pulled in court. “I’d rather not talk about it now.”

“That bad huh?” She turned to face him and he nodded in agreement.

When they got to the hospital Madi wasn’t nearly as anxious as he was to get to Clarke, she was probably dreading the lifeless person she had grown used to seeing every day for the past few weeks. In an attempt not to spoil the surprise, he strolled next to her, fighting every urge to dart up to the fourth floor to room 412.

When they finally reached the door he gently shoved her forward so she could enter before him. She opened the door and was about to walk in but froze. “Clarke?”

Clarke tore her eyes away from her mother.  “Come here baby girl!” Relief washed over her face as Madi ran to hug her. “Careful.”

Madi gave her a gentle side hug. “I’ve missed you so so so much. How long have you been awake?”

“Not much longer than an hour, but the doctor said I’ve been regaining consciousness since last night.” She touched her cheek affectionately. “How have you been? How’s school? I wanna know everything.”

Clarke mouthed “Thank you” to Bellamy who was still standing in the doorway, the interaction between them warmed his heart. He wanted these girls to be a part of his life, pretty soon he was going to have a baby and he wanted the four of them to be a family, all he could do was hope that Clarke would consider his proposal. He knew it might be crazy, eight weeks ago he was standing at the altar about to make the biggest mistake of his life. The voice inside his head told him to call her back the night before the wedding, but even then he knew she was his Achilles heel, so he ignored it.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Seeing Madi again was almost like a dream come true for Clarke, there were a couple of times over the past few weeks she thought it might never happen, especially not after she was shot, but now her girl was here, her usual bubbly self.

“School’s not really that great at the moment.” Madi pouted. “Everybody pities me for what happened to you. It feels just like when mom died, but I knew you would be fine, I always knew Clarke, I knew Bellamy would save you.”

“Actually your amazing mother saved herself.” Bellamy joined them. “Princess, I don’t mean to interrupt your reunion, but everyone wants to know if you feel up to visitors tonight?”

“Clarke, honey, I don’t think it’s such a good idea, you are still recovering and you need to rest.” Abby chimed in.

Clarke was actually a little overwhelmed, she was tired and in pain and Bellamy had dropped a huge bombshell on her which they really needed to discuss, but she was also eager to see her friends again. “Bell you can tell them it would be okay to say a quick hello.”

“Yes sure. I need to go talk to O anyway, she is going to kill me.” He turned to leave.

“Bell, will you come back?”

“Do you want me to?” She sensed the uncertainty in his voice.

 _What an idiot._ “Of course I want you to come back.”

The end of his mouth curled up. “Yeah, I’ll be back.”

“Well I’m going to head out too, I’ll be back later to check on you.” Abby kissed the top of her head before she left. “Will Bellamy drop you at home later?” Abby asked Madi.

“I’m sure he won’t mind.” Madi seemed sure of herself which meant Bellamy must have kept his promise to take care of her.

A special relationship between Madi and Bellamy woke some weird delightful feeling inside of her.

“So, where were we?” Clarke asked Madi. “Oh yes school, sorry about the whole sympathy thing, do you think it will go away now?”

“I don’t know, the court case is still in process, and it’s a high profile one, so everybody knows about it.” Madi said as she sat down on the bed next to Clarke.

“Sorry Kiddo, but pretty soon it will blow over, all of this will be long forgotten, have you kept your grades up while I was gone?”

“Yes Clarke, I knew this question was coming.”

“Did you really know that I was safe?” Clarke raised one eyebrow with a slight smirk.

“I really did, Bellamy said you spoke to me every night while you were at the safe house, I somehow felt it.” Her face was serious, Clarke didn’t know how, but she really must have known.

“So you and Bellamy talk often now huh? Where have you been staying?”

“With Abby and Marcus, but either Bellamy or Octavia picked me up from school every day and brought me to see you. Bellamy was terrified, I kept telling him you would wake up, sometimes he believed me, but other times he lost all hope. He loves you Clarke, I told you, maybe even more than you love him.”

“He told you that?”

“Yes, but he didn’t have to, he barely left your side, only when he absolutely had to, for the first few days he didn’t even go to work. Your mom said you went into a coma because you lost too much blood and your brain didn’t get enough oxygen, but I think you just needed some time to recover. I knew you would wake up.” She grinned cheekily.

 _This child is so amusing._ “Oh is that right. So you wanna be a doctor one day?”

“No way, I’m gonna be a lawyer just like mom and O.” She declared with pride and straightened her posture.

“Octavia lets you call her that?”

“Yes, why wouldn’t she?” Madi frowned.

“Because only Bellamy’s allowed to call her that.”

Bellamy reappeared in the doorway. “What about Bellamy?”

“Apparently only you are allowed to call Octavia O.” Madi explained.

“Maybe not anymore, she’s furious.” He pursed his lips. “Luckily she got the case postponed till tomorrow. Madi would you mind giving me and Clarke a moment?”

Madi raised her eyebrows being nosy as usual. “Whyyyyyyyy?”

“I need to talk to her about the court case.” He clarified, which was clearly not the answer Madi was hoping for.

“Oh. I wanna know what’s going on too?”

Clarke gave her an evil eye. “Madz –“ She started to say but Bellamy interrupted her.

“I’ll take you out for a late lunch or early dinner afterwards and explain, Clarke needs some rest anyway, but I need to talk to her first.” He assured Madi and then faced Clarke. “You up to it?”

Clarke didn’t really have the energy, she was starting to feel a little drowsy, but it was important. “A little bit.”

“Ok I’ll wait outside for you. Bye Clarke. Love you so much.” Madi gave her another soft hug.

“Love you too, Kiddo.” Clarke kissed her cheek before she left.

“So I’ve gathered Echo _is_ guilty?” Bellamy questioned with pursed lips. He seemed on edge, unable to stand still and kept fidgeting with his fingers.

“Yes Bell she’s definitely guilty, I don’t think she wanted to shoot me, she looked horrified when it happened, but she wanted me gone, that’s for sure, she said that you would never love her while I’m still alive.” Clarke felt horrible to admit it, but it was necessary for him to know the truth.

He kept pacing the room, probably processing what she had just told him. “Then she lied on the stand. She said that she never thought I loved you more than her.”

Clarke waved him over. “Come here?” He shuffled towards her bed and she wrapped her arms around him in comfort. “You don’t want her to go to prison because of the baby?”

“No I don’t. Clarke she’ll be underfed, she won’t get the best medical care, she might not even get prenatal vitamins.” Worry flashed across his face as he wiped a hand over it. “She deserves to go to prison, because even if she didn’t mean to shoot you, she’s still the reason you are here, but that baby, _my_ baby is innocent.”

“You want me to lie?”

“You would do that?” He seemed to entertain the possibility.

“For you and your baby? Absolutely.” She didn’t really want to, it wasn’t right, but she would do it, even if it meant Echo would be a continuous danger, because Bellamy was right his baby deserved better.

He shook his head. “Thank you Princess, I appreciate that, but it’s not right, she has to go to prison, she’s a danger to you and a threat to society, it’s not be her fault, it was the way she was raised, but Roan turned against his own mother and he became good.”

Clarke looked him right in the eye. “I think Echo might have changed too, but when her relationship with you was compromised, she resorted back to her old ways.” Somehow when she was with Echo she really did sense some good in her, it looked like it pained her to do the things she was doing, but she still did them.

“Yeah you may be right.” He leaned down to kiss her cheek, but she turned her face and kissed him on the lips instead, it was perfect, just like always.

“Okay I’ll see you later.” She said as she struggled to keep her eyelids open.

“Get some rest.” He gave her another quick peck on the lips.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Can I stay with you tonight?” Madi asked Bellamy on their way back to the hospital later that night.

“What?”

“Can I stay with you?”

“Madi, you have to stay with Marcus and Abby, you know that.” Social Services would definitely not approve of her staying with him.

“It’s just one night.” She sulked.

She was sometimes so wise for her age he forgot she was just a kid. “Why?”

“I can see this thing with Echo and the baby is eating at you, I just want to help you take your mind off it. You said you always helped Clarke study, maybe you can help me.” He flashed her a quick smile because she was so damn cute, and she had definitely wormed her way deep into his heart.

“Thanks Madi, but I think I might spend the night with Clarke.” Only if she wanted him to spend the night obviously.

“Oh yeah that sounds even better. I really missed her, thank you, it was an awesome surprise.”

“Your welcome.” He placed an arm around her and pulled her into his side.

When they got to the waiting room everyone, including Roan, was already there, eager to see Clarke, Raven and Octavia were now with her, so he gave the girls a few moments to catch up.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“She’s still asleep.” Clarke heard Raven’s voice.

“Maybe we should rather come back tomorrow.” Octavia whispered.

“No, it’s okay.” Clarke tried to sit up, the pain in her right side a little duller.

“Oh honey careful, let us help you.” Octavia was next to her within seconds helping her get a little more comfortable. “How do you feel?”

“I’m okay, not 100%, but I’m hanging in there. How are you guys? How’s the baby Ray, time’s almost up.”

“Yes, we bought a house, moved in last month, I’m finishing at MIT within the next two weeks, then I’ll move back permanently. The nursery is almost done, as soon as you’re ready, I would appreciate it if you would do a mural on the wall, if you don’t mind. We’re having a girl, by the way.”

Clarke smiled, of course she would do a mural for little baby Murphy. “Aaaah a girl, I would love to, can’t wait to see it. How about you Octavia, what’s new?”

Octavia sighed. “This case is giving me sleepless nights, if you’re up to it I would like to get a video statement from you.”

“Yeah sure, we can do it tomorrow.” She would have to confirm with Bellamy first, not for permission, just to make sure what she was going to say.

A blonde then appeared in the door. “Clarke, I was so worried about you, welcome back.”

“Hey Harper, come here.” Clarke opened her arms as far as she could and Harper rushed over to hug her, soon Raven joined in, so did Octavia and when Maya entered she didn’t hesitate to squeeze in as well, which was weird given her usual reserved nature. All of the girls very weary of her broken ribs and pain.

“Hi Maya, it’s good to see you.” Clarke greeted her.

“It’s good to see _you_ Clarke, we prepared ourselves for the worst, but here you are.” Maya stated like it was a miracle.

Everyone else also popped in to greet her, hug her and wish her well. Most of them brought flowers, chocolates or stuffed animals. Jasper was so blown away by her recovery, he looked weaker than she felt, but he brought her a big grey elephant. “You can’t do that to us again, promise me, my heart won’t be able to handle it.”

Miller and Jackson also sandwiched her in a hug, which did hurt a little, but she just clenched her teeth, happy to have them with her. “You scared us girl, but I knew you’d pull through.” Miller said still holding onto her like she might disappear.

When Murphy made his appearance, a little tear slipped out of his eye. “These damn sanitizers give me allergies.” He tried to hide his affection.

“Try working here.” Clarke went along with his lie.

“So how you feelin’ Griffin?”

“I’m alright, I hear you’re having a baby girl soon, I feel sorry for her boyfriends one day.” Clarke teased him.

“Damn can’t wait to hold that little pink bundle of joy in my arms.” His whole face lit up when he said that and it suddenly felt like someone pushed Clarke in the chest. She was very happy for her friends, but it just reminded her that she might never have her own little bundle of joy.

She didn’t notice Bellamy’s presence, he must have stayed hidden to give her some time with their friends. But there was no doubt he sensed her discomfort, because he was next to her in seconds. “We’re gonna have it too, I promise.” He kept his voice low so no one could hear as he kissed her temple, but the gesture was way more than friendly.

Were they a _we_ now? Did he take their earlier kiss as together? She was not the only one confused, because everyone else was also looking at them with wide eyes. She wanted to be with him, and when he told her he still loved her she wanted to believe him, but two months ago he was about to marry someone else, and looking around the room everyone except Madi and Octavia, shared her skepticism.

“Hey _I_ haven’t had a chance to hug you.” Monty once again came to her rescue, somehow Monty had always been her hero.

“Thank you.” She whispered into his ear as he carefully wrapped his arms around her.

“Anytime. I’m just so glad you’re ok.” He kissed her cheek.

“Clarke, Lincoln couldn’t make it, he’s working, but he’ll pop in as soon as he can.” Octavia told her.

“No worries, please tell him I said Hi.”

“Will do.” Octavia nodded.

“Guys, I think that’s enough excitement for one day. Clarke still needs a lot of rest.” Jackson, being a doctor, started waving them out of the room, which Clarke was grateful for because she still wasn’t feeling great.

Everyone greeted her and wished her well as they hesitantly left the room, she felt so bad, but needed some time alone with Madi and Bellamy and she was already struggling to stay awake.

“So I take it you haven’t done any homework yet?” She gave Madi a stern look.

Madi shrugged. “Jeez Clarke, when was I supposed to do that?” She said with an attitude.

“Madi don’t you ever talk to her that way.” Bellamy warned her. “But Clarke she does have a point, we came here straight after school, went for dinner and came straight back.”

“Hi honey, how are you feeling?” Abby came in before Clarke could respond.

“Hi Mom, I’m okay, the pain isn’t that bad anymore, I’m just tired all the time, but it’s normal.”

Abby smiled. “You look good, but if there’s anything that doesn’t feel right, you must tell them immediately Clarke.

Clarke wanted to roll her eyes, did her mother forget she was a doctor herself. “I will mom, I promise. Listen are you on your way home?”

“Yes why?”

“Madi needs to start with her homework.”

“O yes, we can go just now, are you sure you’ll be all right?”

“I’ll stay with her tonight.” Bellamy said. “If that’s ok with you?” He looked at her with soft puppy eyes, but he didn’t have to, she already knew he would be staying the night and he probably wouldn’t take no for an answer of she objected anyway.

“Actually I’d like that.” She admitted and both her mom and Madi tried to suppress their smirks. “We have a lot to talk about.”

“Okay, well we’ll leave you to it then.” Her mother winked not being subtle at all. “Come on Madi I believe you have homework.”

They hugged them goodbye before they left until it was just the two of them. “So Octavia wants to take a video statement tomorrow.” Clarke broke the tension.

“Why not just testify via Skype?” He shrugged questioningly.

“I don’t know, I’m not the lawyer, but that’s not the point, I want to know whether you’re really okay with Echo going to prison.”

Silence.

Clarke could see steam coming out of his ears as he was probably making a pro’s and cons list in his head.

“You have to tell the truth Clarke, you can’t lie.” He finally said after several minutes.

“If she’s found guilty and goes to prison we’ll deal with it, all we can do is hope and pray that it all works out for the best.”

Clarke nodded slowly, unconvinced.

He came closer to her. “How are you really feeling?”

“Actually quite gross. Will you help me bath?” Maybe asking him to do that was a little personal, but he had seen her naked countless times and maybe just maybe she wanted him to touch her.

“I don’t mind, but are you sure about this, shouldn’t you rather ask a nurse?” He probably thought he might hurt her.

“Bell I want you to do it.” Which may have come out a little more pleading than intended.

All of his movements were so soft and subtle, like she might break from one touch. He helped her up and carried her bridal style into the bathroom. “Can you stand?”

“Yes, for a moment.” She flinched when he put her down, which alerted him instantly, but she ignored it and turned around so he could undo the tie in her hospital gown.

He helped her into the bath, got her vanity bag her mother brought and started washing, she reveled in the way he gently brushed the sponge up and down her body, his fingers maybe lingering a little too long when it came in contact with her skin. “I can’t hold this in anymore. I love you Clarke. I can’t even begin to explain to you how much. I never stopped not for one second. I don’t know where you’re at, but I want this, I want us. Touching you like this, it’s like magic.”

“I love you too Bellamy, but I have this constant doubt that creep into my mind. You say that now, but if Echo didn’t run away to protect you, you would be married to her right now?”

He sighed. “Do you know why? I always knew I didn’t love her in the same way, not even half as much, I had to learn to love her, maybe she was just my best friend, I don’t know. Clarke, when O called and told me about Christmas, do you know what my first thought was?”

She shook her head.

He closed his eyes as he recalled what happened. “I thought ‘What if all those feelings come back.’ So I bought an engagement ring, to make it official, that’s how scared I was, but it didn’t come back in the way I expected. When I saw you all I felt was the heartache, my heart broke all over again. It slowly started healing in Jacksonville, but all the hurt went away the moment I learned the truth.” He chuckled, Clarke wasn’t sure why.

“And the feelings came back?” She bit her lip in anticipation.

“No, it didn’t come back. It never went away.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you expect that?
> 
> Comments and Kudos are highly appreciated.


	15. Getting settled

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I had to split this chapter once again, because I kept changing and adding some things that were necessary and eventually it was way too long. Both chapters are complete, so I will update again in a day or two.

She didn’t say anything as he helped her out of the bath, dried, dressed and carried her back to the bed. She could tell he was starting to get a little agitated which made her snicker.

“What?” He seemed amused.

“You’re expecting an answer but don’t want to push.”

“Yes, but you don’t have to give me one right now. You can think about it for as long as you need.” He said very casually, but Clarke knew internally he was freaking out.

“I’m going to ask you one thing, if you answer correctly, then we can get back together.” She challenged.

“Ask away?” He gestured with his hand, clearly unfazed.

“I want to adopt Madi ASAP, will you go to the courthouse with me when I get out of hospital and marry me so we can do it together?” She knew it was a loaded question, but if that didn’t scare him, then he was completely committed, actually she already knew the answer.

“No.”

She was expecting shock, maybe a stutter, maybe a yes, but not a no. _Is this a joke?_ “No?”

“Doesn’t feel good, does it?” He leaned in to kiss her. “No I won’t marry you at the courthouse, you deserve a real wedding.”

“Bell, weddings take time and money, I don’t want to wait.”

“Clarke, with your mom, my mom, Madi and Octavia we can have a wedding in your mother’s backyard in a week.” He looked at her while tracing patterns on her skin, which was seriously turning her on.

“Okay, then that’s what we’ll do, your mom, my parents and our closest friends in my mom’s backyard.”

A wide smirk appeared on his face as he linked their hands. “So are we engaged?”

“Do you still have my ring?” It was probably only official once she had a ring on her finger.

“I do. Will you do something for me?”

“Mhm.” Anything.

“Will you fight with me for custody of my child?” Pain flitted across his features when he spoke about his unborn baby.

Clarke frowned. “You don’t want Echo to be a part of the child’s life?”

“No, my child will have nothing to do with her, I have no doubt that she will love him/her, but Nia raised her and look how she turned out. I don’t want that for my baby.” He did have a valid point but a baby needs its mother. Almost like he read her mind he added. “You’ll be the baby’s mother, we’ll have a baby Clarke.”

“Bell I get it, really I do, but taking a baby away from his mother is a little harsh. She’ll carry the baby for 40 weeks, bond with it, give birth to it, she’ll love it.”

He wiped his face with both hands in frustration. “I understand that, but she is the reason you are lying here, even if she didn’t mean to shoot you, she would have done anything in her power to get you out of the way, she even asked Finn to take you out of the country. So maybe one day _if_ I’m convinced she’s changed, I will allow her to have supervised visits, but I want _you_ to raise that child with me, you’ll be an amazing mother, you already are.”

Clarke couldn’t deny that he was right, what Echo did was unforgivable and that baby was Bellamy’s flesh and blood, obviously he wanted what was best for his child, and maybe Echo wasn’t it. “Okay.” She half-smiled.

“The custody battle might not be necessary if she is given a prison sentence, but if not, then I will be ready to fight.”

“Then I will be in your corner.” She took his hand big tan hand in both of her small ones. “As your wife.”

“Yeah, that sounds perfect. Doctor Clarke Blake.”

“No, no, no wait, I never said I was taking your name.” She teased with a serious tone which earned her a very dirty look. “I’m kidding Bell.”

“Oh thank God.” His phone rang. “It’s O, I have to take it.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 Bellamy answered. “Hey O, what’s up?”

“Hey Bell, sorry I know it’s late, I’ll get right to the point. I want to offer Echo a deal, but I want to discuss it with you first?”

“What makes you think she’ll take a deal now?” He asked with a lot of skepticism.

“Because Clarke’s woken up, they don’t know that yet, nobody does, but as soon as I tell them they won’t have a case anymore.” Octavia explained. “So you’re sure she’s guilty and she lied on the stand?”

“That’s what Clarke said, wait I’m with her, I’ll put you on speaker.” He pressed the speaker button and brought it down to Clarke’s level.

“Hi Octavia.” Clarke greeted.

“Hey Clarke, I hope Bell’s taking good care of you?”

Clarke snorted. “What do you mean, that’s his default setting.”

Octavia laughed. “Yup true. Listen so are you 100% sure that Echo was trying to get rid of you?”

“Positive, just before we left the bank she said that she was sorry things had to be that way. Before that I tried to reason with her, but she said that Bellamy would never love her while I’m around.”

“O they might try to argue that Clarke’s imagining things due to being in a coma for two weeks.” Bellamy anticipated.

“Yes, that will be their only angle and if they do get an expert that’s good enough, they might actually win.” Octavia’s voice was full of concern.

“Okay so what’s the offer?” Bellamy knew it had to be something almost too good to be true for her to accept the deal.

“Okay, the jury won’t find her guilty of second degree murder, but she will probably be found guilty of the other charges, which might give her ten to twenty years in prison. I’m willing to offer her no jail time, only five years house arrest if she signs over all the rights to the baby.”

Bellamy couldn’t help but laugh. “She would never go for it. That baby is her only link to me at the moment, she will hold onto it and use it beyond depletion.”

“Oh.”  Octavia sounded either defeated or embarrassed. “Well what do you suggest?”

“Five years, white collar prison, if she’s convicted and sent to prison there’s a big chance that the court will revoke her rights anyway.”

“Bell, she’ll be pregnant in prison. And what if her rights aren’t revoked?” Octavia seemed unconvinced.

“If it comes to that I will fight her to the bone in a custody battle. But O if possible please send her to a prison that has the best medical care.”

“Are you sure about this?”

He looked to Clarke for confirmation, but she was yawning, and obviously fighting to stay awake. He took the phone off speaker. “O Clarke can’t keep her eyes open, let me just check with her but I think that’s our best option. She might not even take the deal.”

“So you and Clarke make decisions together now huh?” He sensed a smile.

“You can’t tell anyone, promise you won’t tell anyone?”

“What? That you make decisions together?’

“No,” He hesitated because this was something Clarke and he should do be doing together, but he was bursting with joy and just wanted to tell someone. “We’re getting married as soon as she’s better.”

Octavia screamed so loud he had to take the phone away from his ear, when she finally calmed down she said. “I’m so happy for you Bell, you deserve this, I won’t tell I promise, not even Lincoln.”

“Yeah so am I. ‘kay, talk to you tomorrow. Night O, love you.”

“Love you too Big Brother.” She said and hung up.

Clarke was already asleep, so he kissed the top of her head and settled into the chair for an uncomfortable night’s sleep.

“Bell,” Clarke breathed half asleep. “Will you hold me?”

“I might hurt you Princess.”

“I want to sleep with you.”

He grinned at the double meaning of the sentence. “I would love to sleep with you too, but one I might hurt you and two I don’t think I’m allowed.”

He doubted she had even heard a word he said. “Please?”

Obviously he knew better than to argue with her, so he did as told and gently slipped into the bed next to her, the bed wasn’t nearly big enough for the both of them, but he was holding his princess in his arms so all was right in the world.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When Bellamy woke it took a few moments for him to adjust to his surroundings. His whole body was stiff and sore from sleeping very uncomfortably, but the sight of the blonde next to him, still sound asleep, tugged at his heartstrings, taut limbs forgotten.

He tried to quietly slip out but Clarke groaned. “Mmm-mmm”

“Morning baby.” He brushed the hair out of her face, even though her hair looked like a bird’s nest, she was still the most beautiful thing he had ever laid his eyes on.

“Mmmmm Don’t go.” She grumbled.

“I have to go, if Echo doesn’t accept the deal I have to testify today, but we have to discuss something first.”

“What?” She was obviously trying very hard to stay awake, but was failing miserably.

“About the deal O wants to offer Echo. I suggested five years in a white collar prison, if she’s convicted the child’s rights could be taken away from her. I know five years isn’t much, but the deal has to be amazing for her to be willing to accept it.”

“You should do what you think is right, I trust you.” Was her response, since the law wasn’t really her thing, she probably thought he knew best.

He still couldn’t believe it, in a few weeks they would be married and pretty soon they’ll have two kids, well hopefully two.

“Babe, I’ll be back as soon as possible, I’ll try and pick Madi up after school and bring her around, but I’ll keep you up to date.” He said and then kissed her goodbye.

“Okay. Thank you. For everything.”

He nodded. “It’s nothing.” It really was nothing, he would do anything for his girl, for anyone of his friends or family, but especially Clarke.

“Good luck in court. And I love you.” She pulled him down for another kiss.

“I love you more.” He pulled away and started for the door. He just could not get rid of the smile on his face as he drove home to shower and change. He would have to sublet his apartment as soon as possible, actually he wanted to move all of his stuff into Clarke’s apartment before she came home from the hospital. To other people it may seem rushed, to him it’s happening three years too late, he couldn’t wait to start a life with her.

He called O to give her the go ahead on the deal they had discussed and headed to the courthouse. He really hoped Echo would accept the deal so the court case could be over and they could move on with their lives, the Echo he knew and loved would have declined the offer saying it is way too little, the real Echo will probably try to dishonor Clarke and make herself the victim.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Bellamy was lost in thought on the drive to Murphy and Raven’s new house. Since the baby came a little early and Clarke wasn’t able to visit them in the hospital, they decided to pop in as soon as Clarke felt up to it. Bellamy had already had the privilege of meeting the new addition to the Murphy family, but Clarke and Madi were dying to see her. The two of them were chatting wildly but his mind was occupied with other things, work, the court case and the phone call he had gotten today.

Cage and Echo declined any deal Octavia offered them and were dragging out the court case as far as they could. They insisted that Clarke had to testify in person, which meant they had to wait for her recovery. Now that Clarke had delivered her testimony they were probably bringing in an expert to invalidate it. In plain English they were being fucking ridiculous. Echo was slightly starting to show and he had read the report from the OBGYN, she was definitely pregnant, more or less thirteen weeks by now.

When they arrived Madi ran ahead unable to contain her excitement as usual. He walked around to open the passenger door for Clarke and slowly helped her out of the car, her ribs were almost healed, but he could sense that she was still in pain every now and then.

“Thanks Bell, but I’m really ok now, you have to stop faffing.” Her tone was somewhere between grateful and desperate.

He knew he had to, if there was one thing about Clarke Griffin it was her strength and pride, she did not like being pitied and prided herself on her independence, which he admired and respected. Somehow he still had this constant urge inside to take care of her and protect her, just like she told O, it was his default setting. “Sorry Babe, I’ll try to let go.”

“I know you mean well, but sometimes you smother me.”

“I know, I’ll try, I promise. O used to say it all the time as well.” He bowed his head, slightly embarrassed.

Clarke linked their arms and steered them towards the front door. “Poor Madi, she has the most overprotective father ever.”

 _Father?_ That was the first time that Clarke had actually called him Madi’s father, he wasn’t sure whether he had earned the title yet, but he sure as hell felt honored.

The front door opened revealing a very pale looking Murphy. “Hey Hobbit” He greeted Madi with their signature fist bump. “Come on in.”

Their wooden home was a little smaller then O and Lincoln’s, but it was cozy. The outside was painted a dull blue with a white roof, whoever had that idea was probably high, he knew Raven would take care of the problem as soon as possible. They bought the house on auction and it wasn’t in the best condition.

The insides were already restyled, all of the walls were painted, alternating soft grey and blue, the carpets traded for the deftly glazed original wooden floors and the kitchen cupboards neatly fixed up. There was no doubt in his mind that Raven did all of it herself _with_ a pregnant belly. Murphy probably tried to lend a hand, but it wouldn’t have been up to Raven’s standards, so he would have given up and played video games. They were just perfect for each other. Murphy liked loafing when it wasn’t life or death and Raven liked doing everything by herself.

“Wow Ray, your house looks amazing, did you do it yourself?” Clarke asked when they reached the nursery where Raven was putting the little girl to sleep. “Oh sorry.” She whispered once she realized what Raven was doing.

Raven nodded. “You wanna try?”

Clarke’s whole face lit up and he once again felt his heart break for his girl who wanted a child so badly but wasn’t able to have one. Obviously they had Madi and she would be a mother to his baby soon, but she would never have one of her own. 

Clarke didn’t say anything, she just took the baby from Raven and started swaying. “Hush little Willow, don’t say a word, papa’s gonna buy you a mockingbird.” She lulled little Willow to sleep.

Bellamy kept standing in the doorway, staring at her. When the girl was finally asleep, Clarke kissed the top of her tiny fragile head and lay her down in the crib.

“So what’s the verdict? You think I’ll be okay with your baby?” She asked in a mocking tone as they walked back to the living room.

“Our baby Clarke, please don’t think of it as mine.” He gave her a pleading look.

“Sorry, _our_ baby.” She apologized. “I noticed she’s showing now.”

“Yeah so did I.” He didn’t’ say anything further on the matter, because the thought of _his_ baby in Echo’s uterus was unsettling.

“She’s sound asleep.” Clarke told Raven when they reached the living room. “And so beautiful, you guys must be proud.”

“And tired.” Murphy added which made them all chuckle softly.

“Can I take a peek Raven?” Madi asked.

“Of course, just be very quiet, if she wakes up now, we won’t sleep at all tonight.”

“Okay sure.” Madi smiled.

“You guys want something to drink?” Murphy offered.

“Yes sure, but you guys sit and relax, Bellamy and I can get it.” Clarke got up and motioned for him to follow.

They handed Murphy and Raven their coffee and took a seat on the sofa. “So what’s it like having a newborn in the house?” He asked them.

“Both tiring and fulfilling, it’s amazing having her in my arms, a privilege.” Raven said.

“I let her sleep on my chest sometimes, man I can’t tell you how awesome that feels.” Murphy beamed.

Their chat about babies had Bellamy even more excited for his own, he just hoped that Echo would receive the proper care in prison, so the baby would be healthy, boy or girl, he didn’t mind. They didn’t stay long because it was clear the new parents needed some sleep. The girls went to check on the baby one more time before they left, but when they returned he could tell something was off.

“Is everything okay?” He asked Clarke on the way home.

“Yeah it’s fine.” She put on a fake smile which he interpreted as she didn’t want to discuss the matter in front of Madi, so he let it go, she would probably tell him as soon as she was ready.

When they got home Bellamy cooked chicken and vegetables for dinner.

“To be honest Bellamy this is the only reason I wanted you and Clarke to get back together, she cannot cook.” Madi joked with a mouth full of chicken.

“Sorry to say Bell that’s my reason too.” Clarke played along.

He shrugged and held up his hands in surrender. “Well if I can make sure my two favorite girls are properly fed, I’m okay with that. So babe you ready for your first day back at the hospital?” He asked Clarke.

“Yeah I can’t wait to get back into things, I have been loafing for way too long.”

“Good, I’m glad. Listen I’m drained, mind if I go take a shower?” He needed to clear his head, all of his earlier worries were still swimming through his mind.

“Sure, we’ll clean up, go on, relax.” Clarke waved him off.

“Thanks.” He kissed her cheek before he left.

He took a hot shower and tried very hard to calm both his body and mind, when that didn’t work he got into bed and read for a while until Clarke later emerged from their bathroom wearing some very sexy black lingerie.

“You still need some relief?” She seduced walking over to him.

He took his glasses off, discarded the book, pulled her closer and down on top of him. “Hell yes.”

She giggled.

Maybe this was exactly the distraction he needed, so he didn’t waste any time. “You wanna feel good?” He nibbled her ear.

“Mmmmm” She moaned.

“You feelin’ frisky?” He sucked down her neck till he found her nipples.

“Yeah” She breathed.

“You gettin’ turned on?” He slipped a hand into her panties.

“Definitely”

“I can feel that. You wanna come?” He pushed two fingers inside her.

“Please?” She begged breathless.

He undressed and fingered her roughly for a few minutes until he was sure she was ready. Earlier she told him to let up on her injury and that was exactly what he was going to do. He spun her around so she was beneath him, then turned her around to lie on her stomach. She caught on to what he was doing and got on all fours. He didn’t hesitate, pulled down his boxers and slid into her slick opening. “That ok?”

“Perfect.” Excitement clear in her voice.

Tonight he wasn’t taking it slow, he just slammed into her, skin slapping fast and jagged. Her loud moans and gasps meant she was thoroughly enjoying every second of it and so was he, but he had to interrupt her. “Babe, quiet, Madi might hear.”

“O shit sorry.”

He quickly composed and continued his wild movements, this was the perfect way to forget about his earlier troubles. He knew he wouldn’t last very long in this position so he quickly got a hold of her clit to make sure she got off before he did. A smile crossed his lips as her walls started clenching around him and she fell apart underneath him, which obviously spurred his own orgasm and it was out of this world as usual.

She curled into his side as soon as she came down from her high and cleaned herself up. “Bell, you know I love it rough every now and then, but I felt a little used tonight.”

He blinked his eyes in confusion. “What?”

“It’s like you were on a different planet and just used me for release.”

“Sorry baby, that wasn’t my intention, you told me to stop faffing and that’s what I was trying to do.” He clarified.

“No not what I meant, the sex was great, but your mind is elsewhere. You wanna tell me what’s going on?” She rubbed soft circles on his chest.

“Oh that, I’ll tell you tomorrow, get some sleep, you have an early shift. I need some water.” He kissed her forehead when he got up to go to the kitchen.

Instead of water he made himself some chamomile tea to calm him down, he would have to tell Clarke tomorrow, he just didn’t know how. Suddenly Madi stumbled into the kitchen and pulled him from his thoughts. “Hey Munchkin, what are you doin’ up?”

“Can’t sleep.” She groaned.

“You want some hot chocolate and talk about it?”

“Yes please?”

He made her a cup of hot chocolate and placed it on the table in front of her. “Okay, so what’s bothering you?”

“Are you and Clarke going to adopt me?”

He wasn’t expecting this question, both the engagement, the wedding and the adoption hadn’t been announced yet, and Madi wouldn’t be able to keep it a secret, so she was the last person that should know about it. “Well, do you want us to?” Was safe to go with.

“Yes, but will my surname change? Should I start calling you mom and dad?”

He tried very hard to hide his amusement. Only Madi would be kept up at night worrying about such silly things. “No Madz you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. Your mother will always be your mother, we will never try to take her place, if you want to keep her name, you are more than welcome to. And you can call us whatever you want. We will be your mother and father legally, but your real mom, well no one can ever replace her, she gave birth to you and raised you, and she did a damn good job.”

“She was awesome, I miss her a lot.”

“So I’ve heard, but you’re allowed to miss her, it’s good to miss her.”

“She wouldn’t have liked you.”

He wasn’t sure how to respond to that. “Why?”

“Because of Clarke, Clarke loved mom, but not nearly as much as she loves you.”

Wow this girl. “Why would you say that? I’m sure Clarke loved your mother very much.”

Madi rolled her eyes. “I’m not blind Bellamy, you and Clarke you’re” She paused for moment “you’re epic.”

Yeah they really were, they were epic. “I guess you’re right.”

“So what’s you’re excuse?” She asked which had him baffled.

“For what?”

“Not being able to sleep.”

“Oh” He stayed quiet for a moment, contemplating whether he should tell her before Clarke, but decided to go for it. “I got a job offer with the FBI in New York.”

The girl’s whole face fell. “Oh.”

Silence.

“Are you leaving us?” He could see her heart breaking on her face.

“No kiddo I would never do that. Either we all go or I’m staying.”

“You don’t know how to tell Clarke, do you?”

He didn’t, they were just starting to get their lives back on track, they just got settled, but the job offer was amazing, a once in a lifetime opportunity and he had no idea how Clarke would react, but one thing he was certain about. He would never leave her again. “No, I don’t.”

His phone rang and he checked the screen, it was Monty. “Hey Monty?”

“Bellamy we’ve hit the jackpot.” He stated with a lot of enthusiasm.

Well that sounded good. “Okay with what?”

“Call Octavia, both of you have to meet us at the station right now.”

“Be right over.” He hung up.

“Kiddo go get in next to your mom, tell her I’m headed to the station and she shouldn’t worry. Love you. Bye.” He gave her a quick kiss and a hug.

“Will do. Bye Dad.”

 _Dad, did she just call me dad?_ He spun around again to face her but didn’t know what to say, so he sort of just stood there like an idiot.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to offend you. I was just trying it out.” He could see her cheeks go red.

“No sweetheart you didn’t, you just… I was… I’m proud to be your dad, that’s all.” He gave her another hug. “Okay but I have to go.”

He quickly pulled on a jean and t-shirt as quiet as possible so Clarke wouldn’t be disturbed and headed out. When Bellamy got to the station Octavia was already there, which meant she must have sped.

“Did you know we have speed limits in this city?” He asked her as she approached his car.

“Yeah I just couldn’t contain my excitement.”

“O, you have to be careful. You could lose your license.”

She brushed him off. “Don’t you have another kid to faff over now?”

He gave her a stern look, but decided to let it go, because she obviously wasn’t listening to reason. “She called me dad tonight.” He stated with pride.

“Oh god who are you more in love with the mother or the child? No wait that sounded wrong, never mind. You know what I mean.”

“I love them both.”

“I know Big Brother. You’re gonna be a great father, to both your kids. Trust me I know, you raised me and I turned out more than ok.”

He put an arm around his sister and led her towards the entrance. “You’ll always be my favorite.”

“Liar.” She said and he just laughed, she was all grown up, but he still had a very special place in his heart for her.

“Finally.” Monty complained as soon as they walked in, Bellamy had no idea what was going on. Monty was at his desk, Roan looking at the screen over Monty’s shoulder while Harper and Diyoza seemed to be in a deep discussion about something.

“What’s going on?” He asked Monty.

“We found some recording that was deleted from the main server but not from the backup, Monty managed to improve the quality. You wanna hear this.” Roan explained.

 “What is it?” He walked closer.

“A phone call between Echo and my mom. She must have had something of yours that was bugged in her possession while she made the call. Maybe a jacket or your wallet or something, she obviously realized it shortly after and had my mother delete it, but not before a backup was made.”

“Well let’s hear it.” Octavia instructed.

Monty pressed play.

_“Hi mom” Echo said._

_“Echo, where are you calling from?” Nia sounded concerned._

_“A burner phone, I’m in my apartment. Relax.”_

_“What’s going on?”_

_“So the girl convinced her to move back.”_

Echo was probably referring to Madi and Clarke.

_“I know, that’s what we want, she needs to get that evidence.”_

_“Yes but it’s not good for me.” Echo sighed._

_“Is this because of Bellamy? Honey he bought you a ring.” Nia seemed confused._

_“Exactly, he bought a ring the moment his sister told him about her. He’s so scared of his feelings for her, he has to marry me so he doesn’t have an out.”_

_“Are you on a contraceptive?”_

_“Yes why?”_

_“Go off, you can give him a child, she can’t.”_

It’s like Nia Queen had no heart and no conscience at all, her daughter wanted him and she would make sure she got what she wanted. _Fuck._ So Echo actually planned the baby to trap him.

_“Mom I don’t even think that’s enough, he’s been in a complete tizz since the moment his sister mentioned her.”_

So Echo knew all along, she was even more conniving than he thought.

_“So what do you suggest we do?”_

_“You do still have Finn Collins in your employment right?”_

_“Yes, of course, we knew he might be handy.”_

_“We use him, make him look like a basket case and we get him to take her out of the country.”_

_“How?”_

_“Blackmail. Shortly after our wedding Clarke and Madi will disappear, get Clarke to co-operate, find the evidence, destroy it and then Finn will take her and the girl away.”_

He shook his head. Actually he wasn’t sure whether it was in disbelief or shame. _How on earth did I ever love this woman?_ He questioned himself.

_“Honey, there’s a lot of holes in that plan. Finn’s debt is hardly something to blackmail him with and why now after all of these years would he want Clarke back? And how would Finn get her out of the country, without a body they will never stop looking for her.”_

_“Create something to blackmail him with, use his grudge against Bellamy. Mom I’ve seen it often, people take their time, years, to plan their kidnapping. If we threaten the girl, Clarke will leave willingly, she’ll give up everything to protect the girl, but Clarke and Madi will be safe with Finn.”_

So he was right before, it was staged. They only asked Finn to “kill” him so that they had something to blackmail him with. He knew it didn’t make sense for Nia to want him dead when she knew how much Echo loved him. But somehow Echo did still want to make sure that Clarke and Madi were safe.

_“What’s wrong with kidnapping her, finding the evidence and killing her?” Nia said it like it was the most normal thing in the world._

_“Mom, we can’t kill her, you can’t just go around killing people. All my friends love her, they’ll freak out, and Bellamy, he’ll lose his shit completely.” Echo showed another slither of goodness._

Not that kidnapping her and taking her away from the people she loved was much better than killing her.

_“You and Roan have too much of a conscience, but okay, let’s say it works, what makes you think people will be fine with letting her go just like that, I mean what would be her reason for just fleeing the country?” Nia pointed out some more cracks in her plan._

_“Clarke ran away to Chicago before. We’ll force her to tell them she can’t deal with our marriage and she had to get far way.”_

_“Honey it’s a long shot, what makes you think Bellamy won’t go after Clarke?”_

_“Mom, I’ll try to fall pregnant before then, if I’m pregnant he won’t risk going after her.”_

_“Echo it’s very risky, especially for me, I’ll go along with it for your happiness BUT if anything goes wrong we’re doing it my way.”_

_“Nothing will go wrong mom, I promise.” Echo seemed very sure of herself._

Obviously a lot of things went wrong.

_“Okay. Bye honey, take care of yourself.”_

_“Bye mom.” Echo hung up._

Monty stopped the recording.

Bellamy didn’t have any words, he felt sick to his stomach, because everything that happened was Echo’s plan. She was the mastermind behind it all. He had always thought of himself as a good detective, but she played him like a fiddle.

“Echo was playing both sides.” Roan spoke up. “She lied to my mother. She did change somehow, she wanted my mom to pay for the things she had done as badly as I did, that’s why she wrote you the letter.” He pointed to Bellamy. “Her doubts about your relationship must have sent her back to cahootsing with my mother. I assume her plan was still for Finn to kidnap Clarke and Madi from the safe house, but I believe she genuinely did want to find the evidence and use it against my mom.”

“But things did go wrong.” Diyoza added. “First Roan threw a spanner in the works by playing her the recording before the wedding. Then I changed the plan, because I didn’t trust her. The biggest flaw though was that Echo assumed Blake would take Madi with them to the safe house, but he left her behind. If Clarke didn’t pull that gun on Echo and Finn managed to flee with her, she would’ve had a very hard time explaining to people why she left without Madi.” 

“I’m playing this in court.” Octavia exclaimed.

“When is the next court date again?” Harper asked.

“On the 6th of June, so almost a week from now.” Octavia responded.

“O you have to submit it to them, you know that, they won’t be able to turn down a deal.” He argued with his sister.

“No! No more deals, the judge will decide on her fate, and to be honest I hope she rots in jail for the rest of her life.” She bellowed.

Although Octavia’s words were harsh he couldn’t blame her for feeling that way, what she did was inhumane and inexcusable, and he would never let her near his child.

“They’re probably going to argue that it’s staged and not her talking.” He flopped into a chair, hopeless, because Echo and Cage would do whatever it takes to discredit their evidence and win the case.

“Put me on the stand. I’ll tell the jury it’s legit and how it was found.” Roan tried to lift their spirits.

“If it’s necessary I will thanks Roan, but a voice analyst would be more trustworthy.” Octavia said as she took a seat next to Bellamy. “We will win, I promise you, I’ll make sure of it.”

“You better.” He just had to trust in his sister’s abilities, until now she had handled the whole case with extreme competence.

“Cheer up Blake” Diyoza joined them. “At least you got laid tonight while the rest of us were working.”

His eyes widened in surprise. “What?”

“Am I wrong?” She raised an eyebrow.

She definitely wasn’t wrong, but she was seldom wrong about anything. “You jealous Diyoza?”

“Nope. Just waiting for my wedding invitation.”

Octavia grinned. Obviously Diyoza knew that too, sometimes he thought she could read minds. “I would appreciate if you could keep your voice down, we haven’t announced it yet. How do you know anyway?”

“It’s not rocket science. Clarke’s impatient and you two have never been known for taking things slow. You’re gonna have a baby soon and obviously you’d want to adopt Madi. Oh and the slip for the cleaning of the ring stuck out of your back pocket today.” Diyoza winked.

“Are you gonna announce it at the dinner Friday night?” Octavia asked.

“Yes, that is the reason for the dinner, but until then I’d like to keep it a secret.” He gave both of them a warning look.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Clarke barged into Madi’s room on Friday afternoon after her shift. “Get your stuff we’re going shopping.”

“Hello Clarke. I’m good thanks how are you?” Madi said.

Clarke grimaced knowing exactly where that came from. “You spend too much time with Bellamy. I’m good thanks Madi, but right now I have a wardrobe emergency and I need your help.”

“Kay I’m coming.” Madi got up and grabbed her bag.

Madi dragged her from shop to shop until she finally got a little annoyed. “Madz what exactly are you looking for?”

“He calls you princess, so you have to look like a princess and it has to be blue because blue brings out your eyes.”

Clarke couldn’t be sure, but she had a suspicion Madi knew exactly what tonight was about. She smiled because the girl was such a hopeless romantic. “Ok”

After what felt like hours they finally found it. A sky blue princess cocktail dress. The bodice was tight, fitting snugly around her boobs, covered by crystal lace with a high neckline and cap sleeves. The skirt part was made of tulle fabric that came out in an A-line, but it was short showing off a lot of leg.

She was running a little late because their little shopping spree took longer than anticipated, so she got ready as fast as she could. Bellamy only came home halfway through doing her hair, but men usually got ready in five minutes so she wasn’t worried about that, but she was worried about the fact that he had been going into work early and coming home late for the last few days.

“Hey babe, sorry I’m late, I lost track of time, I’ll just hop in the shower then we can go.” He gave her a quick peck on the cheek.

Clarke wasn’t buying it anymore, he was definitely avoiding her. “Bell are you having second thoughts?”

He blinked in surprise. “What? Why on earth would you think that, I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”

“Then what’s going on? Why are you avoiding me?”

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “There’s something I have to tell you, but I don’t know how.”

She moved closer and placed her hands on his chest. “Baby, just tell me, please?”

He nodded slowly. “I got a job offer with the FBI in New York.”

Now Clarke understood completely, she bowed her head so he couldn’t see the horror displayed on her face, she didn’t actually know what to say so she just went with. “Oh”

“Listen we can discuss it later, we have to get ready otherwise we’ll be late for our own dinner. But just so you know I’m only taking it if you and Madi would be willing to come with me, otherwise I’m staying.” He stated matter-of-factly.

“I’m proud of you Bell, you deserve it.” She half smiled at him as he walked to the bathroom. That was true she really was proud of him, but she didn’t want to move to New York, not at all.

As she did the rest of her hair and makeup Bellamy’s news kept swirling in her mind so she tried her best to push it down as she pulled on her new dress.

“Wow.” Bellamy’s mouth hung open when he returned.

“You like it?” She spun around.

“You look… Wow. Come on let’s go.” He pulled her towards him. “Madi we’re leaving.” He called in the direction of Madi’s room.

“Coming.” She yelled back.

They really were late. When they got to the restaurant most of their guests were already there, almost everyone huddled around little Willow.

Aurora was the first to greet her. “Hi honey, you look amazing, as usual. I’m so glad to see you’re doing better.”

“Thanks Aurora, so do you. It’s so good to see you.” Clarke kissed her cheek. Most people complained about their mother-in-law’s, but Clarke hit the jackpot with hers.

“Hi mom.” Bellamy hugged his mother. “We see way too little of you. How have you been?”

“Oh I’m good Bell, I worry about you guys, but you know, mothers always worry.”

“Hi Aunt Aurora.” Madi squeezed in for a hug.

“Hi Madi, I told you just Aurora is fine. Or gran if you want.”

Madi blushed.

“Mom don’t put the poor child on the spot like that.”

“Oh nonsense Bellamy, I already see her as my grandchild, which is why I got you something, because it’s a grandmother’s privilege to spoil.” She took a small box out of her bag. “Here you go.”

Madi opened it, inside were two small silver earrings. “Wow, this is beautiful, thanks… Gran.”

“Only a pleasure.” Aurora winked at her.

Clarke had no idea what was going on. “When did your mom and Madi become so close?” Clarke whispered to Bellamy as they walked over to their table.

“She helped your mom and O out a lot with Madi while we were in Jacksonville. Apparently they clicked instantly.”

“Oh.” Clarke wasn’t aware of that. “Everybody clicks instantly with Madi, she’s such a joyful child. Except for me, she did not like me very much when we first met. Remind me to thank your mom later.”

He snickered. “Yeah I remember you told me.”

They greeted all of their friends and family and caught up with some of them. When everyone was settled and had ordered Bellamy stood and clinked his fork against his glass to get everyone’s attention.

“So I assume most of you can guess why we invited all of you here tonight and you’re right, Clarke and I have decided to get married. I know some of you might not approve and think it’s way too soon, but I think its three years too late. I nearly lost her and it made me realize how short life is, so I don’t want to waste time, I want to spend the rest of my life with the love of my life.”

He looked down at her with so much adoration her heart melted, she loved this man with her whole being. He took out the ring that he had bought three years ago, it had petite twisted vines, white gold, one of the vines on each side filled with tiny diamond-like stones, and a round cut diamond in the middle. He showed her the inscription before sliding it onto her ring finger, it read: _Together Princess._

She wrapped her arms around him and whispered into his ear. “I love you so much. We can go to New York. Together.” Even though she really didn’t want to, their life, their friends and family were here in Arkadia, she would do anything for him.

“You have no idea how much that means to me. I love you too.” He whispered back and kissed her, it was a deep and meaningful kiss in front of everyone, but she didn’t care.

Loud claps and whistles could be heard not only from their table but other guests at the restaurant as well. She felt a hand on her shoulder and was met by Marcus when she turned around. “I’m so happy for you, you deserve this, especially after everything you went through.” She sensed some tears in his eyes as he pulled her in for a tight hug. He then hugged Bellamy as well and shook his hand. “Congratulations, you better take care of my girls.”

Bellamy nodded. “You have my word.”

Clarke looked at her friends, she could sense forced smiles on some of their faces, she knew Raven was skeptical of their relationship, but apparently she wasn’t the only one.

“Bell, not everyone supports us.” She murmured so no one noticed.

“I know, but it’s not their choice, it’s our lives, we know we want to be with each other, and that’s all we need.” He assured her, she knew it was true, she just wanted their friends to share in their happiness.

“Will you excuse me for a sec, I’m going to powder my nose.”

Actually she just needed a moment alone, but that didn’t happen when someone grabbed her shoulder.

When she turned around Raven was glaring at her. “Marriage Clarke?”

“Ray we’ve talked about this the other night, we love each other, we want to be together, why not get married?” She felt like she didn’t have to defend her decisions, but Raven was only concerned.

“Clarke, just like I told you the other night, three months ago Bellamy was about to marry someone else. I don’t care what anyone says, he did love Echo and you want to tell me three months later he’s in love with you? Willing to marry you?” Raven frowned.

“Raven you won’t understand, me and Bellamy, we share an unbreakable love. It was there since the moment we met, we were drawn to each other like two magnets, and that force, it never faded. Bellamy was hurt and angry when I left him, but when I told him the truth it disappeared and he realized he still felt exactly the same about me. I would like for you to be one of my bridesmaids, if you’d be willing to give us a chance.” Clarke tried to explain their bond to Raven as well as she could, but it was hard putting it into words.

“I’m only worried Clarke, I don’t want you to be Bellamy’s rebound, like Gina was. Gina thought Bellamy loved her too, but that was what she wanted to see and believe. I don’t think Bellamy wanted to hurt Gina at all, maybe he even believed he was starting to feel something for her, but he just missed you Clarke, and he needed someone to fill that void and Gina was there.”

Now Raven’s concern was starting to make a lot more sense. She witnessed the whole Gina fiasco and to any normal person the situation might seem similar, but Clarke knew with certainty it wasn’t, not even close, Bellamy loved her with all his heart. She saw it in his eyes, she felt it in his touch, she heard it in his words, she tasted it in his kisses, he was hers forever. “I promise you, it’s not the same. I have no doubt in my mind he still loves me, unconditionally.”  

Raven kept a straight face, and Clarke knew she wasn’t convinced, but decided to let it go. “Well I guess Congratulations are in order then.” She hugged her.

“Thanks. You have nothing to worry about.”

When Clarke got back to the table she noticed a similar looking conversation between Bellamy and Miller. “So he doesn’t approve either?” She asked when he sat down next to her again.

“No, but we’ll prove them all wrong. My mom is ecstatic though.” He pointed towards his mother.

“Oh so is mine, I’m sure. I haven’t spoken to her, but I just know, she had always wanted you as a son-in-law.”

“Yeah but I mean who wouldn’t.” Bellamy boasted.

Clarke faked choking. “I can’t breathe, your ego is suffocating me.”

“I can help with that.” He kissed her. “With some mouth to mouth.”

“I’m gonna ask Madi to be my maid of honor” Clarke pointed with her eyes to where Madi was sitting with little baby Willow in her arms. “We wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for her. She convinced me to move back and kept telling me you still loved me, apparently you looked at me the way they look at each other in fairy tales, even when you were with Echo.”

“O might be jealous, but I think it’s a good idea. She’s gonna make a great big sister too, just look at her.”

Clarke had noticed how close they were before, but the way he was looking at Madi right now made her realize he might love her as much as she did.

“You and Madi, how did that happen?”

“I don’t know, we hit it off when she told me about the sketch, I liked her, I thought she was cute, but then again I like most kids, so obviously I liked her. Terrible lie by the way.”

Clarke frowned in confusion.

“The lie you told about the sketch.” He clarified. “Anyway I think it was the stories you told me at the safe house and we bonded while you were in a coma. We use to play this game called: _Who knows Clarke better._ ”

Clarke fought the urge to laugh. “Oh yeah, who won?”

“Well it was basically a tie, but sometimes I let her win.”

“Yeah right.” Although he was probably telling the truth, she wasn’t gonna boost his ego even more. “Listen we’re being rude, we should mingle.”

The words were barely out of her mouth when she felt a strong set of arms around her. “Congratulations guys, Octavia and I have always rooted for you two.” Lincoln said and shook Bellamy’s hand. “You’re a very lucky guy, you got two of the most special girls in the world.”

“Indeed I am.” Bellamy agreed. “But so are you, you got my sister, not to be nosy, but when are you putting a ring on her finger?”

“You won’t mind?” Lincoln furrowed his brow.

“Why on earth would I mind, you make her happier than I have ever seen her?”

“Well good, because I actually bought a ring a while ago and I’ve been meaning to ask for permission, but you just had too much on your plate.” It was so sweet of Lincoln to want Bellamy’s consent.

Bellamy smiled. “Well it’s a thumbs up from me.”

“Thanks, that means a lot.”

Clarke waited until Lincoln was gone before she asked. “Did you ask for permission?”

“Of course, three years ago, but I assumed it was still valid. Technically you asked me, so you should’ve asked mom or O.”

Clarke chuckled. “Come on let’s mingle.”

“Mm-hm. Let’s do that.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a link to Clarke's dress and engagement ring.
> 
> http://wheretoget.it/look/928898
> 
> https://www.brilliantearth.com/rings/cyorings/purchase_review/?did=5977754&sid=3821855&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=PLA&utm_content=BE1D54-18KW&gclid=Cj0KCQiA68bhBRCKARIsABYUGidXL49uy2BcdyKc6jKklr1NGjZtfD0zKPS67qt4FQ7iADUj30A1Xd0aAmxbEALw_wcB
> 
> As usual I would love to hear from you.


	16. Finally

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, here is the second to last chapter. I will post the epilogue in a day or two.

A week later Clarke arranged a small get together for the “planning committee” at her apartment, which consisted of her mother, Aurora and the bridesmaids.

“So Bellamy tells me you guys closed the court case today.” Aurora said to Octavia as they were waiting for everyone else to arrive.

“Yes,” Octavia nodded. “The jury is deciding on her fate right about now.”

“What do you think is going to happen?” Aurora seemed more concerned than curious.

Usually Octavia was very self-assured, but that did not seem to be the case today. “I really don’t know. Cage Wallace used every method in the book to discredit all of our evidence, doesn’t matter how hard I tried to restore the faith in it, he found a way to smash it. All I can hope for is that the jury saw right through them.”

“You did your best Octavia, there’s nothing more you can do.” Clarke tried to boost her confidence, even though she was right, the future was looking a little bleak.

“I’m assuming you and Bellamy will fight for custody if she’s not convicted?” Aurora asked her.

“Yes, but it will be very difficult, the court usually sides with the mother.”

Luckily a knock on the door interrupted their gloomy discussion.

Clarke opened. “Hi honey, sorry I’m late, I just had a few errands to run.” Abby greeted her.

“No worries, Madi’s out with friends, but on her way and Raven’s not here yet either, I’m assuming it has something to do with the baby.”

“Isn’t she just the most adorable little thing?” Abby imitated holding a baby in her arms.

“Oh absolutely, we’re babysitting for them tonight, I can’t wait.” They did need the practice for their own little newborn.

When Raven arrived they all took a seat at the dining room table, Clarke poured everyone a glass of wine and set out some cheese and crackers.

“Did I miss anything?” Madi came barging through the front door.

“No Kiddo, we waited for you. Did you have fun with your friends?” Clarke asked her.

“Yes, but let’s get started, I can’t wait for the wedding, it’s gonna be awesome.” She pulled out a chair and plunged into it.

“Neither can we.” Aurora agreed.

“Mom, this is a complete 180 from Bellamy’s previous wedding, god you were furious, at one stage I thought you might rip everything to shreds.” Octavia mocked her mother.

“O honey, please don’t remind me, let’s just be glad your brother opened his eyes.”

Clarke could see Raven’s face fall. “Ray, do you still have doubts?”

“I never doubted his love for you before, it’s just, he seemed to really love Echo, it doesn’t make sense to me how it can change in three months.”

Clarke didn’t actually know what more to say to convince her friend. “That’s because it didn’t change. Do you remember the story I told you about how Lexa called me out on my feelings for him?”

Raven nodded. “Yeah new year’s eve, I remember.”

“It was the same with him, he never stopped loving me, that’s why he never stopped hurting, he was in denial and it was easier to hate me than to face the feelings, but when he understood that I never wanted to leave or hurt him he realized they were always there. I’m not saying he didn’t love Echo, I know he did, I held him while he cried over her, but not like he loves me, the love we share is… well… special.”

“I know my son, and there is no one on this earth that can put a twinkle in his eye like this beautiful blonde.” Aurora placed a hand on Clarke’s shoulder which made her blush.

“My mom’s right Ray, Bellamy’s so in love he can’t even think straight.” Octavia agreed.

“It’s true, I witnessed it firsthand. I thought what mom and Clarke shared was special and then I saw Bellamy and Clarke together, the way he looked at her, even when he was engaged to Echo, it was –“

“Heartwarming.” Abby filled in for Madi.

“Exactly.” Madi said.

The ends of Raven’s lips curled up. “Well then I’m very happy for you guys Clarke. I never meant to be objective, I was just worried about you, but I can’t disagree with these four beautiful ladies.”

“Thanks Ray, I think maybe it’s just because you don’t know Bellamy as well as we do, but I can assure you, you have nothing to worry about.” Clarke squeezed her hand. “Okay guys, let’s get on with the plans. It’s going to be very small, nothing too formal or fancy, we just want to say our ‘I do’s’ and celebrate a little. Here’s the guest list.”

Clarke handed them a handwritten piece of paper.

_Madi & Friend_

_Octavia & Lincoln_

_Raven & Murphy_

_Miller & Jackson_

_Harper & Monty_

_Jasper & Maya_

_Diyoza & Guest_

_Roan & Guest_

_Mom & Marcus_

_Vera & Guest_

_Aurora & Guest_

_Indra & Guest_

_Gaia & Guest_

_Mel & Sterling_

_Monroe & Guest_

Abby opened her mouth to say something.

“Mom I’m not compromising, no work colleagues or aunts or anybody else, that’s it, these are the important people in our lives, who are the only ones we want present.” She gave her mother a warning look which shut her up completely.

“Who’s this?” Octavia asked pointing to the last few people on the list.

“Indra and Gaia were like a mother and sister to Lexa and the others are some of my new friends at the hospital.” Clarke explained.

Octavia nodded.

“It looks perfect to me. What’s your color scheme sweetie?” Aurora asked.

“Well blue kind of is my color, so blue and white I guess. I’ve already sort of drawn up a task list for everyone.”

“Sure honey, let’s hear it.” Abby said.

“Well mom, we want to have it in your garden.” She bit her lip.

Abby’s eyes widened. “Well of course, Marcus and I would be honored.”

Clarke never thought her mother would have a problem with it, but she seemed thrilled with the idea.

“So would you take care of the catering as well?”

“Sure, what did you have in mind?”

“I’ll check with Bell, he’s the expert.” Clarke couldn’t wipe the smile from her face as she realized they were actually planning her wedding. “I’ll send out the invitations, I made them myself when I was forced to stay home. Aurora I would love for you to make my dress and the cake?”

“With pleasure.” Aurora said.

“Bridesmaids, would you guys please do both the bridesmaids dresses and the organization of everything. You can pick out your own dresses as long as they’re plain, short and soft blue”

They spent the rest of the night discussing all the details and a few hours later her small, simple wedding was planned, there were quite a few things she wanted to make herself and insisted on doing her own flowers, because she did have an artistic side that was dying for a decent project. She wanted a simple arrangement of lilies which was easy enough for her to do the day before.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Morning” Clarke woke Bellamy with a cup of coffee on Monday morning. “Are you still tired from babysitting?”

“Morning babe, maybe I am, I actually wanted to go for a jog this morning.” He wiped the sleep from his eyes and took the cup from her. “Thanks”

“So have you decided on the catering? I have to let my mom know.”

“I really don’t mind what we eat as long as I get you for desert.” He licked his lips. “But if it’s important to you we can have dinner with your parents sometime this week and discuss it.” The only thing he really cared about was marrying her, but if the catering was important to her, he would gladly take care of it.

“Kay, that sounds good, I’ll arrange with them.”

He nodded. “Did I ever tell you ‘bout the dream I had before my previous wedding?”

She gave him an evil eye. “Do I wanna know?”

“Yeah, you do. I dreamt I was standing at the altar and my bride was walking down the aisle with a lily in her hand, but when I opened the veil it was you and I married you.” He felt terrible about it at the time, but he really should have taken it as a sign.

Clarke gasped. “Really Bell, and you still went through with the wedding?” 

“That wasn’t the only sign I ignored, believe me, I was an idiot.”

“A complete idiot, but you’re my idiot.” She ruffled his hair.

His phone rang, he reached over to his nightstand to get it. “Hey O”

“Bell, the jury’s back.” Octavia said with a hint of fear in her voice.

“On our way.”

“See you later. Bye”

“Bye.” He ended the call.

“Get ready Babe, the jury’s back.” He jumped out of bed and headed straight to the shower.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Octavia was her usual intimidating self, full of confidence as they approached, but he knew she was a little doubtful. They once again took a seat behind her. “Everything will work out.” He told his sister even though he wasn’t quite convinced himself, she did her best, but Cage Wallace always seemed to one up her.

His mother, Abby, Marcus and Roan also attended and silently greeted them as they entered.

The formal proceedings started when the Bailiff instructed them to stand.

“Has the jury reached a verdict?” Judge Jaha asked after the formalities.

“Yes.” The jury foreman answered.

The clerk walked over to the foreman, collected the very important piece of paper from him and handed it to the judge. The judge read it, nodded and gave it back to the clerk. The clerk opened it and said. “On one charge of attempted murder in the second degree the jury finds the defendant.”

He paused.

“Not guilty.”

He glanced at Echo and could see relief on her face for a second before she turned serious again.

“On one charge of conspiracy to theft, the jury finds the defendant… Not guilty.”

His heart started beating faster, already two “Not guilty’s” wasn’t looking good.

“On two charges of conspiracy to kidnapping the jury finds the defendant”

Silence.

Clarke squeezed his hand tightly and closed her eyes in anticipation.

“Guilty.”

It was almost like the whole world was lifted from his shoulders, because those two charges were enough to send her away for a long time, meaning he would be able to raise his child without any custody battle, all he could hope for now was that she received the proper care in prison.

“On one charge of kidnapping the jury finds the defendant… Guilty.”

“Sentencing will be at eight o’clock sharp tomorrow morning. The jury is thanked and excused, court is adjourned.” The judge called and hammered to signal the end of the proceedings.

He hugged both Clarke and Octavia tightly, he felt like celebrating. “Well done O, I never doubted you. Dinner is on me, anywhere you wanna go.”

Before Octavia could respond he felt a set of eyes on him and when he turned around Echo was staring, with tears in her eyes, and for a moment he felt sorry for the woman he once loved. He quickly walked over before she was taken away.

“The only thing I was ever guilty of was loving you.” She whispered.

That was true, he knew it, the only reason she was sitting here was because she loved him unconditionally and he didn’t fully reciprocate those feelings.

“I’m sorry, I really am, but what you did was unforgivable, Clarke nearly died because of you.”

“No. Clarke’s alive because of me.”

There was some truth in that statement too, but she was willing to go far and wide to get Clarke out of the way.

“Echo take care of yourself and the baby, please?”

“I won’t allow that woman to raise my baby.” She scowled at Clarke.

He wasn’t about to get in an argument with her, there was nothing she could do about it, he was the baby’s biological father and with Echo in prison he would automatically be awarded full custody and by extension Clarke as well. He just hoped Echo wasn’t planning to do anything to the baby, he doubted she would, but nowadays nothing would surprise him.

“That’s my baby too, I’m begging you, please take care our child.”

She didn’t respond as Roan came to stand next to him, obviously wanting to talk to his sister as well, so he left to give them some time.

He didn’t go to the sentencing hearing the next day in order to avoid her, but Octavia informed him she got 15 years in a minimum security prison with the option of parole. It was fair, he was happy about that, the option of parole had him a little worried, but for now she was getting the punishment she deserved and her rights as a mother would possibly be revoked.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Three weeks later Bellamy was standing next to an arch, covered in lilies and white draping, with a sense of déjà vu. This time Murphy was next to him as his best man because Miller already had his turn and he wasn’t completely understanding about the wedding at first. Clarke also insisted he should have three groomsmen because she had three bridesmaids, so he chose Lincoln.

They weren’t all suited up, because it was the middle of summer and an informal wedding, which he was thrilled about. They wore gray slacks, a white button down with the sleeves rolled up and suspenders.

His mother sat in the first row, she dabbed at her eyes with a tissue, but those were tears of joy because she was beaming. Okay maybe it wasn’t really the same as the previous time, he had no nerves this time. No maybe he was a teeny bit nervous and he was definitely sweating, but only because of the heat.

Marcus sat across the aisle from his mother and gave him an encouraging nod. Instrumental music started playing and Raven walked out of the house wearing a plain blue halter neck dress, with a board in her hand that read: _Bell are you ready?_

His sister came in next winking at him, her board said: _Last chance to turn around._

Madi entered smiling from ear to ear with another board saying: _Sorry too late… Your bride’s on her way._

There was no doubt in his mind the boards were Madi’s idea. _Very cute._

The wedding march started playing and it was time, everyone stood and looked to the back, Clarke appeared, her arms linked with Abby’s. It was just like he had always expected, she really was a princess wearing a very modest country dress. It was a white halter neck that came down in a low V and accentuated her “assets”. It had some silver detail in the middle where the material seemed ruffled and tied in the waist, and from there it flowed to the ground. Her hair was just loose locks with a lily neatly weaved into the side matching the dozen in her hands. Her smile kept growing as they approached and she absolutely took his breath away.

When they finally reached him, Abby hugged Clarke with tears in her eyes and handed her to him. Both of them turned to face Monty.

Monty gave a very informal opening speech before allowing him to say his vows.

They turned to face each other, he held her hand and stared straight into those blue eyes. “Clarke Griffin, I didn’t know I was lost until the day you came into my life and showed me what it was to really live. You are so beautiful, not only on the outside but also your soul, you radiate strength, light and goodness. Your light switched something on inside me the moment you shook my hand and suddenly my heart started beating. Even though I lost that light somewhere along the line, you found me and brought me back again. You really are a princess, maybe not to the rest of the world, but you are to me, and that is how I will treat you. In good times and bad, through the happy and the sad, because you deserve the world and I will give that to you until my last breath. I love you and I will continue loving you more and more each day for eternity.” Tears of joy streamed down her face, a little more with each word.

When she composed, she started her vows. “Bellamy Blake I thought my life was perfect, I had everything I ever wanted and I thought I was happy, but that all changed the moment I met you. Suddenly I was in need of something I never even knew existed. To me life was about education, saving lives, achieving greatness, but I realized from our first touch that none of that matters without love. You are the other piece of my puzzle, the flipside of my coin, my strength, my inspiration, my heart, I may have strayed along the way, but I returned, because you are my home. You taught me to believe in love, I used to think concepts such as love at first sight and soulmates are old wives tales, but they’re not, because I experienced both firsthand with you. You are an amazing man Bellamy Blake, you move mountains for those close to you, you risk your own life to save others and you deserved to be loved and adored in return, and that’s what I, and our new family will do, we will love and adore you for the rest of our lives.”

He swallowed back his own tears, the things she said touched his heart, he didn’t mind being vulnerable with Clarke, but he didn’t want everyone else to see it too.

They said their “I do’s” gave each other the rings and Monty finally declared. “By the power vested in me by the state of Massachusetts I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride.”

And boy did he kiss her, he flipped her over and couldn’t stop kissing her, everyone was clapping and cheering, until she finally pulled away.

“You do realize we’re in public.” She smiled.

“I don’t care, you are my wife. Doctor Blake.” And he just kissed her again.

They walked back down the aisle as a married couple and he had never felt more complete in his entire life.

“So how do you think everyone will take the news about New York?” Clarke kept her voice low.

“I don’t know, mixed feelings I guess, who do you think will be the toughest nut to crack?” He asked.

“Definitely Diyoza, she’s not letting you go without a fight.”

He laughed, because that was definitely the truth, Diyoza could pretend she was made of stone all she wanted, she had a soft spot for those close to her and that included them.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Clarke had the urge to do this since they got back from their honeymoon. She could feel her nerves pick up as she took the three and a half hour trip to New York. Bellamy would kill her if he found out, but it was something she just had to do. She took a deep breath as she finally entered the prison doors. She sat down at one of the benches waiting for a guard to bring Echo in.

As soon as Echo spotted her she turned around. “Take her away, I don’t want to see her.”

“Please? You want to hear this. I promise.” She begged.

Echo reluctantly stomped over and slumped into the seat across from her. “What do you want?”

“I wanna talk to you about the baby.” Echo wordlessly kept glaring at her, so she just continued. “I don’t agree with Bellamy, you’re the baby’s mother, you deserve to be a part of his/her life.”

“ _His_ life,” She stated. “It’s a boy.”

“Really, a boy.”  Clarke smiled. “Bellamy might never forgive you, but I already have.”

“Why?” She kept a straight face.

“Because I might understand better than you think, I know what it’s like to love him. I did some questionable things for him too, hell I broke up with Finn in a voicemail, I declared my love outside a bar, I fled to Chicago because I couldn’t give him a child and I came back because I couldn’t live without him.” It wasn’t half as bad as the things Echo had done, but she really could relate, she was leaving all her friends and family behind and moving to New York for him, but what she told him in her vows was the truth, he was her home.

“If you didn’t come back we would be happy right now.” Echo accused.

“I didn’t know about you, I swear.”

“I know. Now get to the point.” Clarke could tell she was getting annoyed.

“I want your child to know you.” She just didn’t feel right raising Echo’s baby without him knowing his real mother.

“Bellamy doesn’t know you’re here does he?”

“No, but I will tell him as soon as I get home.” Keeping secrets from her husband was not a good idea.

“Yes, because he can’t stay mad at his precious princess can he?” Echo’s tone was very condescending.

Clarke ignored the question, Bellamy was probably going to be furious.

“When he’s old enough I want to tell him about you, maybe I can bring him to visit you?”

Echo shook her head. “No I don’t want him to see me in here, but I want to write him letters, maybe you can read it to him?” Echo suddenly softened.

“Yeah I can do that. When you get out he’ll know you, then you can have a relationship with him. I was thinking I could tell him he is the luckiest kid in the world because he has two moms.”

Then Echo did something Clarke didn’t expect, she started crying. “Please don’t tell him where I am, I’m not a bad person Clarke, I never meant to hurt you, I just… I love him so much, and he never loved me that way, he never loved me like he loves you, I knew, I always knew it would never last. I just don’t understand, what do you have that I don’t? I mean you are not even his type, you’re short and blonde, you come from an upper-class family, you’re stubborn and difficult and spoilt and I just don’t get it, but I take it from that ring on your finger you’re married now.”

Clarke couldn’t help but feel sorry for the woman, she knew exactly how she felt, she felt the same when Bellamy was about to marry Echo. “I don’t know, but what we have was exceptional from the moment we met.”

“I’m naming the baby.” Echo wiped away her tears and straightened.

“Yes that’ll be great. Does that mean you’re okay with me raising him?” That was all she wanted, Echo’s consent.

She was quiet for a few seconds before she responded. “I guess I don’t have a choice.”

Clarke took that as a yes, it was the closest she was going to get. “I won’t tell him you’re here, I’ll make up some story, I promise. I have to go though, Madi’s coming back from her trip to Chicago today.”  Clarke got up to leave.

Echo grabbed her wrist. “Thank you, please take good care of my boy. And Bellamy”

“I will.” She said as she walked towards the exit.

When Clarke got home Bellamy was frantic.

“Babe where were you, I’m going out of my mind, we have to pick Madi up from the airport?”

She gently placed her bag down on the table. “We’re having a boy.”

She saw how Bellamy’s eyes darkened with fury. “You went to see Echo?”

“Please don’t fight with me, it was something I felt like I had to do. I promised to read him her letters and in return she’ll accept the fact that I’m raising him.”

“Clarke are you out of your mind, if she gets parole she’s going to want him back. If he knows her our chances of winning a custody battle will be a lot less.” He hollered.

“No Bell, she won’t, she might want to see him, but she won’t take him from us. She made a mistake, just like all of us, she’s paying for it now, she’s lost everything, you can’t take her child from her too.” Clarke kept her cool as she tried to reason with him.

He sighed. “I guess you’re right, we’ll deal with it when it happens, but we have to go fetch our daughter from the airport right now.”

“Yup and pretty soon we’ll fetch our son from the hospital.” Clarke tried her best to calm him down.

“Our son.” His whole face lit up like it was the first time he actually registered he was going to have a boy.  “I’m so glad you came back. I can’t imagine my life without you.”

“So am I.” She really was, because now everything in her life was perfect. A far cry from the girl sitting in the windowsill, staring at happy families through their windows, longing for the man she left behind.


	17. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is the final chapter. If you are still here, thank you very much for reading this. Thank you to everyone that commented and left kudos. And a special thanks to my sister who helped me a lot. Like I said before I've already started a new fic, but I will finish writing it before I post, so don't expect it anytime soon. If you want you can follow me on Twitter/Tumblr @girlobsessed21, I'll post on there as soon as it's done.

Epilogue

Six months later

“It’s freezing out there.” Octavia rushed inside with little Willow in her arms, tightly wrapped in a fleece blanket. “Wow Clarke this place is awesome.”

It wasn’t the best house, but it was decent and Clarke was proud of it. They decided it would be best to buy a house in Brooklyn to raise a family. They needed four bedrooms since Aurora moved in with them as well. Clarke had been wrong in assuming Diyoza wouldn’t let them go, Aurora straight up refused until they convinced her to join them.

She kept the walls white for the moment, but it was scattered with photos and art, some of it her own others from her favorite artists and one in particular her dad used to love. The sketch of Bellamy was now surrounded by one of each member of their family, which she had just completed by adding one of their son. She kept the one of her, Lexa and Madi as well, Bellamy didn’t object, he said it looked good.

All of the rooms were spacious, so she went a little crazy with new modern furniture. She bought a long glass dining room table with white and gray cotton cladded chairs to fill the room. She kept her grey corner suite for the living room and just added a lot of colorful scatter cushions, but she had to buy a new sleeper couch for when their family and friends came to visit. With their current combined income, they were, well, comfortable. Bellamy had his fancy curved television against the wall, but he had been working so hard lately he had very little time to actually enjoy it.  

“Hey thanks, it’s so good to see you again.” Clarke greeted her with an uncomfortable hug, careful not to disturb the girl’s slumber. “How was your trip?”

“It was fine,” Octavia rolled her eyes. “Jasper whined because a trip to New York is not half as awesome as a trip to Chicago. Lincoln wanted to slap him, but he kept his calm, just like Lincoln always does, I did slap him though.”

Clarke laughed, she could just picture Jasper complaining the whole way. All of their other friends quickly followed suit to seek refuge from the cold. Clarke greeted all of them eagerly, because she hadn’t seen most of them in a long time. At least this time she tried to make an effort with social media. Bellamy seemed to be an enthusiast lately, he couldn’t stop posting photos of his son, and Clarke couldn’t blame him, he was awfully proud.

“Hi everyone,” Madi appeared with a little blue bundle in her arms. “Meet Byron Augustus Blake.”

Everyone gasped, cooed and made their way over to take a peek.

“Oh Clarke he is so cute, I also want one.” She pouted looking at Monty.

Monty laughed. “Let’s just get the wedding out of the way first.”

“How’s that going by the way.” Clarke asked Harper.

“I’m thinking I might just elope like Lincoln and Octavia. My mother is driving me nuts and Hannah” Monty glared at her before she could finish her sentence about his mom. “Never mind, you guys had the right idea, small backyard wedding, no fuss, but still elegant and memorable.”

Clarke raised an eyebrow. “Well why don’t you do it?”

“Do you want my mother to disown me?” Harper shook her head in defeat.

“Where’s our boy?” Miller asked.

“Still at work.” Clarke assumed our boy meant Bellamy.

“Seven o’clock at night on Christmas eve?” Jackson frowned.

Before Clarke could answer Octavia spoke up. “Please don’t tell me you cooked Clarke, I mean no offence, but I won’t eat that.”

“No I didn’t, he made the ham this morning before he went into work and your mom and I made the rest, but just so you know he’s been teaching me, I’m getting pretty good at it.”

Octavia’s eyes widened and she stifled a laugh. “Really, Wow Okay, didn’t see that one coming. Speaking of my mom, where is she?”

“Taking a bath, she helps out a lot with everything around here, especially Byron, and I think it’s taking a toll on her, she’ll probably be out shortly.” Clarke explained. “I don’t know what I would have done without her and Madi.”

“What about Blake, will he be joining us at all?” Murphy asked.

“He’s on his way.” Madi said. “He just texted me.”

“Can I hold him?” Maya asked pointing to the baby in Madi’s arms.

“Just don’t get any ideas yet Babe.” Jasper mocked which earned him an evil eye from his girlfriend.

“Yeah sure.” Madi handed her the tiny little baby. “I’ll help Octavia put Willow down, Mom set up a crib for her next to Raven and Murphy’s bed.” Madi started in the direction of the hall and gestured for Octavia to follow her.

“So Clarke, how’s motherhood and New York?” Raven asked her as she took a seat on the couch.

“Motherhood is wonderful, a real privilege, I never thought I would have a baby of my own. New York not so much.” She scrunched up her nose.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s not Arkadia, it’s rushed, crowded and expensive, but it’s okay, we’re happy.” She didn’t mean to sound ungrateful, she had an amazing life, maybe it wasn’t in her dream location, but she worked at one of the best hospitals in the country and she had her family and that was all she needed.

“Are you sure?” Raven raised an eyebrow. “Cause you don’t seem so sure.”

“It came out wrong, I miss you guys and my family a lot, and there are some things about the city I don’t like, but overall it’s not so bad, we make it work, right Madz.” Clarke prompted Madi when she came back in.

“Make what work?” Madi furrowed her brow.

“New York.”

“Oh that.” Realization dawned on her. “Yeah some of the girls are bitchy-“

“Language Madi.” Clarke scowled.

“Sorry Mom. Some of the girls are very mean and the boys are boastful. At least I’ve made one or two friends.”

“Oh and there’s this boy.” Clarke raised her eyebrows and smiled at Madi.

Madi’s face turned to a tomato. “Mom” She clenched her teeth.

“A boy hey. Does the hobbit have a boyfriend?” Murphy poked her in the side.

“A boyfriend?” Bellamy appeared in the front door, he wiped his feet as he entered and hung his coat on the rack. “Since when? You’re only 13, no boyfriends until you’re at least 18.” Both his face and tone very serious, Clarke knew he probably was.

“Gee thanks mom, now look what you’ve done.” Madi crossed her arms in front of her chest with attitude.

Everyone else was clearly finding the whole interaction very comical.

“Sorry Kiddo, I’ll talk to him, don’t worry.” She would just explain to him it was completely innocent, they were only 13 and only friends, but Bellamy would argue that’s the exact age when boys’ hormones start bothering them profusely.

Bellamy walked over and greeted Clarke with a kiss. “Hi Babe. No not even you will convince me.” She already knew that, but gave him a look to let it go for the moment.

Luckily Byron started stirring and moaning in Maya’s arms, which lured Bellamy’s mind away from Madi’s very innocent friend that happened to be a boy.

“Hey there little guy, what’s wrong?” He gently took his son from Maya into his own arms. “You want a bottle?” He kept rocking to calm him down, Clarke loved watching the two of them together so much she didn’t want to get up and fetch his bottle.

“Aaaaah Bell I wanna feed him.” Octavia pouted.

“Can your aunt O feed you?” Bellamy asked as the baby started crying, obviously getting impatient. “Huh. I’ll take that as a no. You want daddy to feed you don’t you?”

“Come on Bell, you get him all the time.” Octavia was ready for an argument with her brother.

“Relax O, I’m just kidding.” He handed Byron to his sister.

Clarke gave her the bottle as soon as she was comfortable on the couch, she never thought Octavia would be so natural with babies, she just never seemed like the type.

“Sorry guys I’ve been rude. It’s good to see all of you.” Bellamy greeted all of their friends. “I’m starving, let’s eat.”

This year’s Christmas dinner went a lot better than the previous one, laughter, joy and loud chatter filled both the atmosphere and Clarke’s heart. After dinner the girls helped her clean, while Bellamy made sure everyone had a place to sleep. Raven and Murphy took Madi’s room while Madi slept with Aurora, there was only one sleeper couch so Bellamy had to inflate three mattresses for the other couples.

They still played charades but decided to only do the Secret Santa in the morning when Roan would be able to join, Clarke knew he was dying to see his nephew again so she invited him for Christmas. Her mother and Marcus fed south of the equator to chase the heat, so Clarke would only see them after New Year’s. Madi insisted they buy a gift for everyone again, just because she loved picking them out, but Bellamy firmly disagreed. Clarke bought Miller a watch from herself and one for Lincoln on Bellamy’s behalf. Madi and Aurora went on their own shopping spree. Obviously everyone bought something for Willow and Byron, it’s not like they had any idea what Christmas was about yet, but it was hard to resist the urge to buy baby things, she may have gone a little overboard herself.

The next morning after breakfast Madi played Santa again, which was fine for the moment, but when the babies got a little older they would probably have to get a real one. Once Madi was done, her lap was filled with presents of which only three was her own, the rest of them for a little brown eyed baby boy, onesies, blocks, stuffed animals and rattles. He lay in his chair in front of her feet and she showed him all his gifts as she opened them, he may have shown a slither of interest in the toys that rattled, but for the most part he couldn’t even keep his eyes open.

“You need some help with that babe?” Bellamy sat down next to her.

“Yes please. Can you help me take it to the nursery?” She handed some of it to him.

“Sure. Have you opened yours yet?” The grin on his face meant he was eager for her to see what he had gotten her.

“No, I’ll do it as soon as I have some space.”

Roan picked Byron up to give them a chance to carry all his new things to the nursery. When Clarke returned she finally got a chance to unwrap her own. Her Secret Santa gifted her with a new Gucci Bag and she received a very nice manicure set from Madi and Aurora. Bellamy’s gift was in a small square box, but once she opened the lid there was only an envelope amongst the tissue paper. Inside were two plane tickets to Jacksonville, she turned her head to look at him, a little quizzical but also grateful.

“I thought maybe we can recreate the night we found each other again. Maybe we could scrub some floors.” He whispered in her ear and kissed her temple. “Diyoza said she can arrange the apartment for one night.”

It was a very thoughtful gift, even though it was as much a gift for him as it was for her, she appreciated the gesture. If she said she expected less from him, she would be lying. On their wedding day he vowed to give her the world, and so far he had made good on his promise every single day. He worked a lot and so did she, both at the hospital and at home, but it was the small things that counted, a lily with an “I love you Princess” on her pillow or a warm bath with bubbles and salt. She was truly blessed to have him as her husband, it’s not like they never fought, no they were both still stubborn as mules, and maybe she spent a little too much for his liking sometimes, just like any other woman, but they tried to never go to bed angry and to compliment each other every day. He still had a very dangerous job and she could lose him at any time, so they tried to make the most of the time they had together.

“Thank you Bell, it really means a lot.” She gave him a peck on the lips. “Have you opened mine?”

“No, but it felt like a painting.” He picked it up from the floor next to him and smiled as the wrapping revealed a painting of Madi holding Byron. “Wow babe, this is incredible, when did you have time to do this?”

“When everyone slept.” She admitted.

“I love you so much, you know that.”

“I do.” She did know, he showed her all the time. "I love you too."

“Aaaaaaaahhhh!” Madi yelled jumping out of her seat and tore them away from their moment. She was definitely over the moon about something she had gotten and Clarke had an inkling it was the one from her and Bellamy. She ran over to them and threw her arms around Clarke’s neck. “Thanks mom. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I love you.”

“Oh sweetie, you should thank your dad, it was his idea.” Clarke pulled her arms away.

Madi grimaced. “Really? It was dad’s idea to get me an IPad?”

“Hey. What does that mean?” Bellamy shrugged.

“It means you’re not hip like mom.” She hugged him tightly. “Thanks dad, this is the best, you’re the best, hip or not.”

“It’s a pleasure sweetheart, now keep your grades up and no boyfriends or I’m taking it away.” Bellamy warned with his index finger.

“Yes dad, I promise.” She agreed a little half-heartedly.

“Clarke I think this little man wants his mom, he’s starting to squirm a bit.” Roan tilted his arms so Clarke could take Byron from him.

“I think he needs a fresh diaper.” Clarke figured.

She left in the direction of the hall, Roan followed her and she had no idea why. Bellamy trailed after them, even though they were now married and he liked Roan, a lot, he was still a bit jealous. Obviously he had no reason to be, and she had assured him whatever happened at the beach house was innocent and playful, and maybe a little out of hurt and jealousy on her own part, but he insisted Roan felt something for her. She couldn’t blame him, she always felt that way about Gina too and jealous Bellamy was quite cute.

She lay Byron down on the changing table and Roan placed an envelope and a little green dinosaur, she hadn’t noticed before, down next to her.

“I went to see Echo yesterday, she asked me to give you this, she said she bought it when she first found out she was pregnant. She also said you promised to read him the letters.”

Now Clarke understood why Roan had followed her. She nodded. “Yes, thanks, I’ll read it to him.”

Bellamy frowned. “Wait, so Echo knew before the court case? Why didn’t she tell me?”

“Would you have let her do all the things she did to find that flash drive if you knew?” Roan asked.

“Probably not.”

“Well there’s your answer.”

“Listen, I’m gonna feed him in here and put him to sleep, Bell will you get his bottle?” Clarke asked, ignoring their discussion.

“Yeah sure.”

Bellamy brought his bottle and she sat down in the rocking chair feeding her son. “Your real mom wrote you a letter, I want to read it to you, I promised her I would, but I’m a little scared. I’m scared that one day when she comes back she’s going to try and take you from me, don’t tell your dad.” She opened the letter. “You have to promise mommy that you’ll never leave me, because I love you very, very much, and if you do, I might never recover. Well here goes nothing.”

She read the letter aloud.

_My dearest baby boy_

_When your dad took you from my arms it was the saddest I have ever felt in my entire life. He promised to take good care of you and I know he will, I just wished I could be a part of it, but mommy has to go away for a long time. I wrote you a story, one day when I come back I’ll tell you which character in the story I am and I’m hoping you’ll understand._

_Once upon a time in a kingdom far, far away there lived a beautiful princess. The princess fell in love with a handsome prince and just before they were to be wed an evil witch cast a spell on her so she would never be able to have a baby. The princess was so sad that she fled to a land far away from the kingdom._

_She became lonely and missed her family and the prince very much, so after a few years she decided to return to the kingdom. What the princess didn’t know was that her father, the king, hid a gemstone for her before he died, but another evil witch wanted to steal it for herself._

_The evil witch had a daughter who was very jealous of the princess. The evil witch’s daughter was also in love with the prince and she was jealous because the prince didn’t love her like he loved the princess. Because of her jealousy she helped the evil witch to catch the princess, find the gemstone and send her far away._

_But the princess was too strong, she fought back and nearly died until the prince found her and saved her. The evil witch and her daughter was caught and thrown into the dungeon, but the evil witch’s daughter felt so bad about what she had done that she blessed the princess with the greatest gift of all, she gave her a baby boy._

_The prince and the princess were married and lived happily ever after._

_I hope you enjoyed it._

_All my love_

_Your mother._

_P.S. Clarke I will never take him from you, I’m just hoping one day I can be a part of his life. This is the first and last letter I will refer to myself as his mom, you’re his mother now, and I know you’ll be a great one. Hide it, when he's old enough to understand you can show it to him again._

_Echo_

Tears pooled in Clarke’s eyes. “Did you hear that little guy, I’m your mother now.” She cuddled his fragile little body close to hers, hoping he could feel what she felt as she rocked him to sleep. She may not have carried him for nine months, she may not have given birth to him, he wasn’t her DNA, but he was a part of her. Just like Madi. Just like Bellamy. And that is why she came back.

The End


End file.
